A desire to walk along the blood stained trail
With hopes to see love unveiled
In faith I crowd close to this hope
A stalwart attempt to avoid a downhill slope
That’d be nice for change
Sudden and strange
And hopefully capable of filling the dividing chasm
That separates us from a beautiful blossom
Blossom that could paint a picture perfect image
With Compassion as its message
I would desire to be the messenger here
However, forcefully held back by fear
Hiding behind the clouds where the light doesn’t shine
But it’s time to decide on which side of the line
And I’m sorry to disappoint you all as I step across
But on this side is the old rugged cross
Leaving back normality to join the few
Deciding to live for something true



analyze it, criticize it, question it, compliment it, be true about is all im saying...thanks in advance for any feedback I get for it

seems to me like you are working too hard to make it rhyme.

"Sudden and strange" didnt make sense to me, but thats just me


keep posting!!

If you stagger the rhyming or only rhyme every other verse it sounds better. Rhyming sounds better when its not predictable, or when not used to much. You will find that it sounds good to rhyme like in the middle of one verse, the end of another, and the beginning of yet another, so as to not be overly repetitious.

Only a possible suggestion from a scatter-brain.

The poem and its premise are great! And the words used are also great, because they are challenging.