Hello,

I am just writing, as promised, about something near and dear to my heart. I am a person, since childhood; that has always struggled with physical stature. I always wanted to be tall. Why? In a way, I always felt I would feel better about myself if I grew tall. After all, so much emphasis is placed on height (not that I am blaming others persay) for a man not to be tall, well then, that's quite the dilemma.

I am the youngest of three children. I have a twin (fraternal) whom was always taller than me for as long as I can remember. It bothered me because I always felt that people, women in this instance, found him more attractive. More self-confident and more sure of himself. For most of my life I have battled depression and sadness, so that did not make matters much better. Many times during my life I have had people make comments about my height, I am around 5'9, calling me "little" man. Friends of family have made comments. People have also asked why I have not grown as tall as my twin brother, he's significantly taller, say by three inches or so. That bothers me SO much.

It's to the point, at times, that I have found myself very agitated with God. He is the designer of this universe. Yet, in my mind, (which I find myself very conflicted on) why would he ever, in good conscience, make some people tall and others shorter, knowing how those very same people (shorter ones) would feel about themselves in life. Sure, height isn't everything. But it is something. It has been said, taller men are noticed first (for job placement and socially with women). I love God. I trust him. And I can see his hand in many situations working in my life. However in this one area, I am at a total loss for words. I always wanted to be 6'4 or 6'5. I am sure there are towering people that have had low self-esteem. But understand, height probably played little, if any, factor in that self-esteem.

I've been trying my best to look at the bright side. To get my mind off of myself. I just perceive this one area as a glitch. There's a phrase called: "You've been blessed with great stature" even in that phrase, blessed, it gets me to thinking. Why are some "blessed" and others "aren't?" Many times, I have felt really awkward in social settings...because I am either the same height as or shorter than people in the same room as me, many times women. Women, as we all know, like tall guys...for the most part. Many have said, and I quote, "He needs to be at least 6 feet tall." It really irks me when people make comments/remarks about my stature, even if it is a passing remark. Or one that isn't intended to make me feel uncomfortable.

I am 25 years old and have been conflicted for many years about this one area in my life. Many nights I have these thoughts in my head about how God screwed up. How he knowingly created me at a "disadvantage" but I don't want to think these things. I just want to breathe, live, and accept myself.

In short, I just don't understand....

Each of us has some thing we must overcome. He gives us obstacles and struggles to provide us opportunity for growth, spiritually.
In short, if you don't mind bluntness, He wants us to learn to get over ourselves, get past ourselves, and place our trust in Him, in all areas of our lives.
There is nothing wrong at all with being short. In many ways, it makes you a stronger person. It's been my experience that short/small men are the fighters, the ones with determination and fire. They are that way because their stature has kinda forced that on them.
A large man has little opportunity to exercise his survivability, because no one wants to mess with a large man. Thus, often times they are the gentle, soft mannered ones.
Did you know that Paul the Apostle was a short man? Yet, when he allowed God to rule his life and direct his path, placing his trust entirely in Him, he became one of the 'biggest' men of the Bible.
Life is not about size, shape, color or gender. It's all about your heart, and your relationship with God and your neighbor.

In a society so obsessed with aesthetics, its not hard to imagine why someone's body image would cause them distress. When I was in high school, I was rail thin. I didn't fill out until I was almost done university, and I felt bad about it frequently.

For encouragement, I guess I would say there are far worse things than being "only 5'9". Dwarfism for example. Or worse, Elephantiasis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Merrick). Or being a Christian in Ossira, where their only concern is avoiding the Hindu rape and pillage squads for another week. Or being a child of 7 with distant uncaring parents, and no one to turn to when uncle lays his hands on her. Whatever our circumstances in life, there's always something that doesn't sit right with ourselves. Something that "should have been" different. Something that seems unjust. But whatever the case may be, you can almost garauntee there is someone out there that wishes they could be us.

On a more positive note, some of the most socially dominant men I know are shorter than average. They've just learned to have their personality make up for it.

Hoping and praying you make peace with the blessings and challenges you have been alloted.

I can relate! Having had polio at age 4, I've always walked with a severe limp, and its always been a difficult burden to bear, and I've never gotten over the self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, the world responds differently to you when you have these things which really have nothing at all to do with anything. As a youth, I enjoyed fighting more than most and was almost unbeatable. I have always done physical work and have had no drawbacks because of my condition.

But I am aware of how people tend to stare at you and comment about you, sometimes not out of your hearing range, and have found it to be a challenge to face the public eye everyday. It has taught me patience and endurance and not a little humility. More importantly, it has taught me to keep my emotions and especially my temper under constant vigilance, life being a stage, after-all.

It has also given me a determination to be excellent at anything I undertake, and to prove myself in no uncertain terms. I actually consider the permanence of my condition to be a loving gift from God.

"And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2Co 12:9


"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Php 4:13

Hmm...that was quick. I do appreciate the responses. Really, I do. It shows that there are people out there that are caring individuals. That have placed some stock in the lives and well-being of others. With that said, I want to say this, regarding the same topic.

Honestly, my view on things is...all I can do is live my life and learn to adjust to the way reality is. The way that it is. I've wasted many years privately upset and angry with God about what I have perceived as a disadvantage. Quite frequently I have felt that God had robbed me of some sort of happiness. Yes, I do understand that we all have obstacles and a whole host of things to overcome, but I still have an unsettled taste in my mouth.

Someone hit it on the head when they said this world was very aesthetically obessed. This area, among so many, should reasonate with many people. Notwithstanding all of the other curve balls life and yes, Satan, tries to throw at us, nobody has yet to tell me "why" God has decided to doll out stature the way that he does.

I truly am not trying to be argumentative...but I don't feel I got the exact answer I was looking for. This would be cut and dry if height, or stature alone, were the only ailment that a person that wanted to be taller had to face--but we are all smart enough to know that, that isn't the case.

This burns so deeply and personally with me...because we make our looks personal all of the time. And for the life of me, if this is an area where we all, at one point or another have felt we didn't measure up to a standard, (whatever yours may be) why do people make you feel excluded or less than for not being blessed like they are, huh?

Weight, barring genetics is different, you can lose weight. You can decide to forgo that Pork Roast at 11 p.m. You can put yourself on a stringent regiment, and drop all of those unwanted pounds. If you suffer from dyslexia, you can get tutoring for that. Even if you lose a limb, you can get a prosthetic one. Sure, it wouldn't be as nice as the one you lost...but you get the point.

I just take this so personal. I can't control the comments/remarks other people may make. However, I just want to be free of feeling like I don't measure up. I want to look beyond myself. Scriptures are nice, but I need a model. I need something pragmatic. I need more than "so and so" didn't grow as tall as he wanted, so chin up.

We all are dealing with our own trials in life. But just like the socially inept girl that never got asked to the prom, or the woman with the "too small" bust...you don't know how I feel. To feel that God was not fair in this respect. Because he could have made me the size of my choice, that would not have taken away from any other areas in my life of which I would have been forced to deal. I could've shown my perserverence and resolve in a myriad of ways, none having to do with the result of my stature.

Life isnt about size, shape, or gender, correct. I can't agree with you more. But, why do people make it seem to the contrary? I bet when I get to Heaven none of this will even be a course for concern, but I live in a mortal world. With these feelings and emotions that God has given me. It just seems, in this world, whatever your biggest obstacle, there are plenty of people around (both knowingly and unknowingly) willing to expose it.

I just don't understand why God didn't let me have my way in this instance, its not as if I would have used my blessing as a vice. Rather, because growing up I knew full well of how much it stung psychologically, to be called certain names, I would have been great at not making others feel how others have made me feel.

I truly am not trying to be argumentative...but I don't feel I got the exact answer I was looking for. This would be cut and dry if height, or stature alone, were the only ailment that a person that wanted to be taller had to face--but we are all smart enough to know that, that isn't the case.

Well friend, that's because there is no answer. The problem of pain has haunted man since the day the Garden was shut to us. The WHY of our circumstances will always elude us. The best we can do is determine WHAT we're going to do about and in spite of circumstance.

Quick question: Have you read the book of Job recently? Job can be simultaneously the most uplifting and depressing book in the Bible. Job was a man beyond repute... utterly righteous. Yet God allowed him to be tested beyond endurance. His children killed, his wealth destroyed, his wife spiteful, and his friends aggravating. There are two things that are worth noting about Job, despite the gravity of his circumstances.
(1) He never said "I deserved this".
(2) He never cursed God.

Throughout trials I doubt any of us could endure, he continually acknowledged that God's will is His and His alone.


Life isnt about size, shape, or gender, correct. I can't agree with you more. But, why do people make it seem to the contrary? I bet when I get to Heaven none of this will even be a course for concern, but I live in a mortal world. With these feelings and emotions that God has given me. It just seems, in this world, whatever your biggest obstacle, there are plenty of people around (both knowingly and unknowingly) willing to expose it.

I just don't understand why God didn't let me have my way in this instance, its not as if I would have used my blessing as a vice. Rather, because growing up I knew full well of how much it stung psychologically, to be called certain names, I would have been great at not making others feel how others have made me feel.

In a nutshell: people suck. Its hard enough for anyone (myself included) to think of someone other than one's self once a day... let alone worry about how we make each other feel. Yet still, count your blessings. In North America we can be made to feel bad about our looks. In Ossira, Christians are being thrown alive into the flaming wrecks of their houses.

If you haven't read Job recently, read it again. Consider well the gravity of Job's predicament and be aware of how he deals with it. You will find that he does not hide his pain, but how he views God... well, I'm not going to blow the ending for you... ;)

Hey Christkid, I just wanted to reply quickly and let you know, what others think is their problem, not yours. Unless you allow it to be your problem by worrying about it.

First of all, five foot nine is not short. I'm five ten, which is tall for a woman, but I certainly wouldn't think poorly of a man for being a shade shorter than me. In fact, my husband was five foot five, and obviously I consider him to have been the best man I ever met... that's why I married him!

He had also suffered from low self esteem, because of his height, and like SFASH he walked with a limp. So I understand from him how this can make you feel bad. But if you just let go of the negativity that others try and impose on you, and realise that your height doesn't matter, you'll feel a huge weight go off your back.

Don't be angry with God about it. You can justifiably roll your eyes at the stupidity of man, which makes such things out to be important, but don't worry about the rest. My husband told me towards the end of his life that all the things he had thought of as a disadvantage... his lack of height, his spina bifida, even seven years before his death kidney failure, were all worthwhile, because ultimately they brought him to rely on God, not his own pride.

If you were the perfect model of male beauty, six foot two or three, muscular, all the women falling for you... would you be questioning God at all, trying to seek His will? Or would you be walking around, secure in your own excellence? It might be harder to realise you need Him in that circumstance.

So... thank him that you're the way He made you, and forget about the standards of the world. Even if you were a physical masterpiece, one day you'd get old, and decrepit, and die.

The things of this world, including our bodies, with all their perfections or imperfections, pass away. It sounds like you're moving to a place where you can let go of some of the struggles you've had. That's good. Trust God. He knows what He's doing with you.

Remember that this is the Comfort and Encouragement section and that Counseling Requests is the section for seeking and giving counseling and advice.

Please read these guidelines taken from the Guidelines in the sticky above. I am copying them out for you so ALL will be sure to read them.

Guidelines for Comfort and Encouragement Section:

In order to edify the body of Christ, the church, and bring to light from the Bible or other words from a story, song, poem, etc., that show comfort and encouragment, here are some guidelines to the process to keep things on topic and focued!

1. Choose a book of the Bible, or other life situation that you are seeking to find comfort and/or encouragement for.

2. Make the topic of focus the title of your thread.

3. The opening post should include a passage from the book of the Bible you are looking to or a description of the situation you are seeking comfort or encouragement for.

So, for example, you decided to use Psalms. "Psalms" should be the title of the post, with the first text being a passage from Psalms. This may or may not include a short commentary.

Or, if you are looking for comfort and encouragement for a specific situation such as divorce or lost loved ones, state that in your title, and have your text state the specifics to guide other posters to share scripture and other things which are edifying, such as a story, song lyrics, poetry, etc.

4. Comfort and Encouragement is not a forum to offer or ask for counseling. If you would like specific suggestions, guidance or advice, please post in that forum alone or in addition to your concerns here. You are welcome to post in both. Please remember, no double posting allowed! :) Any threads that request advice will be moved into Counseling Requests without notice.

Please stay with the purpose of Comfort and Enouragement to edify and build up and keep with the original posters topic or theme.

And, as always, all the remainder of the board rules (http://bibleforums.org/forumdisplay.php?f=32) apply also. If you have not read them thoroughly, or it's been a while since you have, please review them.

Any questions or concerns should be directed to this forums facilitator.

Thank you for your participation in building up and edifying the body of Christ!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, lets keep it on track!

wiseoldowl..facilitator

Wise Old Owl is absolutely correct... so, here's what the Bible says about the problem:

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

That might be a good memory verse to cling to, next time you're feeling down about your appearance. :hug:

You can't be an overcomer unless you have something to overcome.

God made us just the way we are and what God has made is good.

I love these scriptures from Psalm 139: 13-14; so am sharing this passage.

" For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. " (NIV)

peace and blessings..:)

Welcome to the board my friend. You say 5'9" ?
My son, is 5'3" at the most. He is 18 years old and a Child of the King. I know it has been a struggle for him in many ways. However, God is bigger and has blessed him many times over. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." Matthew 6:33
Take it and run with it.
Look at Zaccheus!! :) Luke 19: 1-10

He was a man of short stature too. Zacchaeus didn't use his shortness as an excuse to quit looking for Jesus. What obstacles do we have to overcome to see Jesus? Are any of these obstacles great enough to separate us from Jesus?
NO NO NO.
I am sure he struggled with his stature. Some would say he "overcame" that with his wealth and position as a tax collector. BUT, truly, he wanted to know Jesus and did all he could (by climbing high in a tree) to see just who this man Jesus was. Jesus spent time in his home that day. Praise God.

Zaccheus is a wonderful example. Not only was he short, he was outcast, and people used his lack of physical stature against him, blocking his view of Jesus. Nobody liked this poor man.

But he was so keen to see Jesus that he didn't care what anyone thought of him, or how ridiculous he might appear, and climbed a tree (remember he'd have been wearing a robe in those days, not the most dignified thing for an adult man to be doing.)

Jesus looked up, recognised him, called him by name... and came into the man's house and ate with him.

If that is the result of overcoming the animosity of others, and physical problems, then thank God for the challenges which encourage one to overcome. God knew JUST what He was doing when He made Zaccheus a little man (as some translations put it.) "Today Salvation is come into your house", Jesus told Zaccheus. Salvation can find it's way in because of disadvantage. The comfortable and secure don't go climbing trees to catch a glimpse of Jesus.

I'm bedridden and a shutin and in the past I have been angry at God why I have to be severely handicapped.... but my strength comes from this verse:

2 Cor. 12:7-10
And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. [8] For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. [9] And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. [10] Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

and I am striving for this verse (although often failing, I must admit):

Philip. 4:11-13
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. [12] I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. [13] I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I know it ain't easy..... after 10 years on my bed and even longer in a wheelchair, I know how hard life can be....... if you need to talk you can pm me, or start a thread in Chat to the Moderators with Miepie as title.... :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: