Hi Everyone,

I was hoping there was someone out there who could guide me with advice or words of wisdom.

I'm a 30-year-old woman and I've been married to a wonderful 32-year-old man for three years. I've had the privilege of knowing him for 15 years. My husband is an average American. He works an office job and tries to make a good living for us. I'm a teacher and have dedicated 8 years of my life working in a low income district teaching and volunteering to help underprivileged children. We are both good, down-to-earth, loving people. My husband has a strong faith and doesn't let a day go by without prayers and/or a visit to church.

Since we've been married, our faith has been tested countless times. Two weeks after our wedding, my mother-in-law suffered a major stroke. My husband and I spent the first 6 months of our marriage helping to rehabilitate her. On our first wedding anniversary, my husband was hospitalized and diagnosed with cancer - Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He endured 3 months of chemotherapy and 2 months of radiation. With the grace of God, he made it through the treatments and has been in remission for 1 year and 9 months. Unfortunately, because of the aggressive chemotherapy, my husband is unable to have children. We tried to adopt, but we simply cannot afford the costs (minimum $25,000). After months of soul searching, we decided to seek fertility treatments using an anonymous sperm donor (my insurance covers treatment costs). In May, my doctor informed me I was pregnant. My husband and I were ecstatic. We thought that maybe things were finally turning around for us. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 7 weeks and have been unable to become pregnant since (after 3 more fertility cycles). Now, they've found a tumor on my ovary. They believe it's benign, and I have surgery scheduled in a few days to remove it. Due to the size of the mass, there is a possibility I may lose my ovary. Since my husband's cancer diagnosis, I have been seeking counseling for depression and post-traumatic stress. I feel like my life is falling apart. I live every day of my life waiting for the next bad thing to happen. It's awful.

I have tried going to church more often, hoping that God would guide me. I've tried being angry at God. I've tried not believing in anything at all. I simply feel lost. I know God isn't causing these bad things to happen to us, but I still can't help but be resentful ... especially when there are awful people out there who never seem to be tested - the drug addict who is able to have 10 children, the corrupt politician who lives in a big beautiful house, the child molester who is still walking our streets ... Why are they allowed to live free from hurt, disappointment, and sadness? It makes me so angry! I used to thank God for my husband's remission. Now there are times when I wonder if it wasn't God at all. Perhaps it was only the doctors that saved him.

As I said, I am just so lost and don't know how to think or how to feel anymore. If there is anyone who can guide me, I will be very grateful.

Thank you.

The devil will attach you and push you to the limits when you are at your lowest. Go to your Bible and/or hit your knees (literally) and pray. God has a purpose and plan for you or he would not have kept you and your husband alive.
A sparrow does not fall to the ground without God knowing, how much more value are you of, compared to a sparrow?
Some people are meant to be missionaries and care for the poor, and run a full time ministry. That would be hard with kids. Ask God what direction your life is supposed to be taking.

but I still can't help but be resentful ... especially when there are awful people out there who never seem to be tested - the drug addict who is able to have 10 children, the corrupt politician who lives in a big beautiful house, the child molester who is still walking our streets ... Why are they allowed to live free from hurt, disappointment, and sadness?

Sister, I can't begin to explain why you are experiencing what you are. Those people you mention are of this world - their fertility, their riches, and their luck can't be taken with them after they die. Get in the word and keep your eye on Christ.

Junebug, I noticed you said you were NOT a Christian, but seeking Christ...my advice would be: DO NOT wait another day before asking Jesus into your heart as your LORD and SAVIOR!!!! When the Spirit of the Lord, the HOLY SPIRIT, lives within you...all things are possible through Christ who strengthens you. May I ask why you haven't become a born-again Christian? :hug:No harm intended...I'm just curious, as you said your husband has great faith...I am sure he has told you about accepting Jesus into your heart and life!!! God does have a plan for your life, as well, not just your husband...Just think of the POWER that would be generated if ya'll were ONE IN CHRIST, as married folks are supposed to be!!!! The Bible says, HE who is in us is greater than he who is in the world!!! ALLELUIA!!!! Glory to God...

Make your request today....Jesus may come tomorrow and you would be forever separated from your husband, since you are not born-again!!! The worst part of that scenario is that you would also be separated from God forever... That is the Word of God!!!! It's in your Bible!!! Jesus wants us all to come into the fold...that's why God the Father sent HIM to die on the cross for all of our sins. But, we have to make the decision!!! It doesn't just happen...it's not automatic, you can't be born into it...just going to church doesn't do it...so, maybe it's time to stop and make the right changes and choices!!! Please know that I'm telling you these things out of love:hug:

:pray::pray:Lord, I pray that you call this sister into your kingdom...Father God you are the ONLY one that can change hearts...Shower her with comfort and strength, I pray...I pray these things in Jesus' name!!! Amen.

If you need to talk, you can PM me!!! I so look forward to you coming into God's kingdom, but more than that....God is waiting on you!!!:hug:

God Bless You and Yours!!!:pray:

I have tried going to church more often, hoping that God would guide me. I've tried being angry at God. I've tried not believing in anything at all. I simply feel lost. I know God isn't causing these bad things to happen to us, but I still can't help but be resentful ... especially when there are awful people out there who never seem to be tested - the drug addict who is able to have 10 children, the corrupt politician who lives in a big beautiful house, the child molester who is still walking our streets ... Why are they allowed to live free from hurt, disappointment, and sadness? It makes me so angry! I used to thank God for my husband's remission. Now there are times when I wonder if it wasn't God at all. Perhaps it was only the doctors that saved him.

As I said, I am just so lost and don't know how to think or how to feel anymore. If there is anyone who can guide me, I will be very grateful.

Thank you.Hi Junebug and welcome to the message board! :pp

We often question why God may do things the way He does. Like in what you are saying above, why would God allow the drunk driver to survive the wreck they caused for being drunk, but killed the family of 5 they hit? I think of the book of Job where satan was allowed to test Job to the point that he could take everything from Job except his life. Job lost everything but continued to praise God despite what his friends and wife were saying.

The doctors can't do anything that God doesn't allow either. He is the one who heals our bodies, not the doctor. He uses the doctor, but the doctor is a human just like you are. Capable of mistakes and anything you are capable of.

Honestly, those people you listed in the above portion, are not happy. The drug addict is hurting deep down inside and that's why they turned to drugs in the first place (at least some of the time). The corrupt politician realizes that they can only be happy if they do more wrong, and it's fleeting so they have to go deeper into their sin until it's harder for them to see they are doing anything wrong. God will give us over to a reprobate mind at some point.

God gives all of us a chance to come to Him. That is, many chances, like the drunk driver being spared, or even the corrupt politician. He will never leave us nor forsake us. But, we can turn our back on Him.

I'd like to give you two passages to consider and think about.

Psalm 23: 1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Hi Junebug625.
You and your husband sound like very caring people. I don't know why bad things happen to good people, but God has our best interest at heart. I think you have the heart of Asaph! Would you consider reading Psalm 73?

Before i answer, let me say that i know a paediophile (convicted) and a couple of days ago i went out of my way to speak to him and chat casually, show an interest in his work. I also know both poor people and pretty rich/ very rich people - i visit both. Visiting the rich i find hard, as they have so much but keep it all in the family.
One lady i visited was so lonely. All the huge houses round her, only have one person in, so she hardly ever gets to talk to anyone. So chatting for an hour made her day!
Not everyone who has possessions - is rich and huge house is happy, even if they go to our church!

Seperate issue. But much more important. Like has been stated - you have a choice. To follow Jesus Christ and learn God's Biblical Wisdom or not! It's not about being good! Surprised? It's about personally believing that God became flesh as Jesus Christ, and submitting/ kneeling before the Cross every daily.

For all the 'good' you feel you have done, you are in exactly the same position as the people you mention! I feel you have been working towards Salvation and you won't want to hear this, but you've been wasting your time. :confused

You can be saved in an instant, right now, by turning to Jesus Christ, God, in heart & mind and being baptised. Good works will follow. :) But they will be your first good works in the name of Jesus Christ.

By the way, i can list my physical ailments, a little like Paul in the bible? - my body is dying, but my faith growing daily. Also i can list my good deeds and every time i do, 'i recieve my reward then and there' because they become valueless.

Submit to Jesus Christ, ask his Spirit to live in you. Ask the Spirit of our God to guide your life, starting today and ask God's Spirit to guide your bible reading. It's all in there for the New Christian and the most mature. Start reading the bible today and never have a missed day until you die. The Spirit will never stop revealing, it doesn't matter how many times you re read the bible. :) Love SofTy.

TODAY - is your new begining. :o

I have tried going to church more often, hoping that God would guide me. I've tried being angry at God. I've tried not believing in anything at all. I simply feel lost. I know God isn't causing these bad things to happen to us, but I still can't help but be resentful ... especially when there are awful people out there who never seem to be tested - the drug addict who is able to have 10 children, the corrupt politician who lives in a big beautiful house, the child molester who is still walking our streets ... Why are they allowed to live free from hurt, disappointment, and sadness? It makes me so angry! I used to thank God for my husband's remission. Now there are times when I wonder if it wasn't God at all. Perhaps it was only the doctors that saved him.



Hi Junebug,
First, let me say...I have no answers...for your above quote. I don't know why things happen they way they do, except that I am learning that it works to either bring glory to God somehow, someway, somewhere or it brings people to Salvation. Though, we may not see this in our lifetime.

Second, I can only tell you what God did for me during a trying time in my own life when I was probably not a Christian and certainly was not trying to walk with Him. I was very angry with God, Yelled, screamed kind of angry; I ignored Him, I thanked Him one minute then bashed Him the next. I didn't make me feel better. Through a series of events and people that I now believe were put there by Him, I now know that I know that I am a Christian and have finally given in to Him (though I have my days). I am also discovering that the things that happened to me happened so that I could be more helpful to others. It has given me a heart for ministry and service that I don't know I would have had otherwise.

Somehow, what you are your husband are going through is helping to prepare you for something. First, He may be preparing your heart to accept Him as your Lord and Savior. Second, He may be preparing you to help someone else in the future. These are trying times for you, and I will certainly prayer for your situation and hope you have some peace and resolve in your heart. We may not see it, but God is good and He loves you. In Zephaniah 3:17 it says, "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Moxie

Lord I lift up this woman who is so troubled and afflicted in soul & spirit...Lord I ask for your mercies...your healing mercies that she and her husband might bear children...I ask also that You would clearly lead her into saving faith...saving faith Father, in Your Son Jesus Christ...bring her soul out of darkness and confusion into the light of Christ and His kingdom.

Thank You Lord, in Jesus name I pray.

Lord i join in this prayer. Your gifts are endless, like your love. Many are at the door. May they come in. SofTy.