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jodest3
Jan 3rd 2009, 05:31 AM
Hey there,

I just started dating this guy who's still married, but separated. I highly doubt they're not hooking up again (she cheated on him).

Anyway, what are your thoughts on that? Is this a sin?

He is getting divorced to her, but it does take awhile.

I appreciate your thoughts :)

karenoka27
Jan 3rd 2009, 05:52 AM
I think you should go before the Lord and ask Him what He thinks about it.

miepie
Jan 3rd 2009, 05:53 AM
I don't know if it is a sin, but I'd wait until they get a divorce..... the man might still forgive her and get back with her......
If he is divorced you can date him again, that won't be a sin because he divorced because of fornication......
My husband and I both come from a marriage that got divorced due to fornication and mental abuse, and God has brought us together and we're very happily married for 4 years now and much happier than either of us was in our previous marriage because this one is God ordained and God is our first priority......

Is this man you're dating a Christian? If so, he should know that he should forgive his wife (not saying that he has to get back to her)......

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

godsgirl
Jan 3rd 2009, 12:58 PM
It's a sin. He belongs to another woman and you are commiting adultry.

matthew7and1
Jan 3rd 2009, 04:10 PM
Well. I am not going to say you are sinning. I will say that it is God's will for marriages to be mended. Is it possible to just be a friend to this person? I would probably say to pray on it. Pray for both people in the marriage and what is best for them. That should give you your answer I would think....

Edited portion:
The 10 Commandements say : Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife (husband)
So I guess that even having a non-sexual relationship with this person waiting for them to be free is covetous. In addition, I know you aren't planning on having anyone killed or getting pregnant, but David paid a heavy price for the sin of adultery he committed, (Albiet different circumstances) It's clear God doesn't like it and I would worry about the consequences of your actions. I came back to edit this because usually, if you have to ask if something you're doing is a sin, it probably is....

Ninna
Jan 3rd 2009, 04:32 PM
He's still married no matter what their circumstances. You need to break away from him until he is legally free.

Sandusky
Jan 20th 2009, 02:03 PM
Yes, this is sinful. This man is still married, so both of you are committing adultery according to God's word in the Scriptures. For the sake of your immortal soul, your future happiness and this man's family, you need to stop immediately.

Jeanne D
Jan 20th 2009, 03:00 PM
He's still married no matter what their circumstances. You need to break away from him until he is legally free.

I agree with this. As far as God is concerned he is a married man, so in essence he is cheating on his wife.

I would wait, and of course as Karen suggested , pray!

Jeanne

Truthinlove
Jan 20th 2009, 03:51 PM
He's still married.

It's wrong

threebigrocks
Jan 20th 2009, 03:59 PM
Hey there,

I just started dating this guy who's still married, but separated. I highly doubt they're not hooking up again (she cheated on him).

Anyway, what are your thoughts on that? Is this a sin?

He is getting divorced to her, but it does take awhile.

I appreciate your thoughts :)

I was you. Yes, it's a sin.

I was seperated, and dated a guy who was seperated. His divorce went through - mine never did. My husband and I reconciled.

What I dealt with in myself after reconciliation with my husband I wouldn't wish on anyone. Cut ties, and do it now. You don't know what God can do, even if this guy and his wife are unbelievers now as my husband and i were when we went through it, and need to let God have His way with this situation.

sunsetssplendor
Jan 20th 2009, 10:19 PM
Hey there,

I just started dating this guy who's still married, but separated. I highly doubt they're not hooking up again (she cheated on him).

Anyway, what are your thoughts on that? Is this a sin?

He is getting divorced to her, but it does take awhile.

I appreciate your thoughts :)


He is not yours to date since he is still legally married.

D in Georgia
Jan 20th 2009, 11:31 PM
I would advise you to end this. Not good for you or him. Not to mention his wife. D

lacy+chk
Jan 21st 2009, 10:24 PM
i was in this situation. he is now divorced from her (she cheated) and we are now married. i believe it was wrong, but at the time i didn't think so. all i can do now is pray for forgiveness and believe that God will bless our marriage. we are working towards growing together in Him and that is all we can do.

i would say that you should walk away for now. if it was meant to be, it will be. AFTER he is divorced.

threebigrocks
Jan 22nd 2009, 01:10 AM
Actually - unless she walks away as an unbeliever, or she commits adultery and things are irreconcilable - you would still be committing adultery. If it's still recognized as a marriage by God nobody has any reason to be with another if they wish to follow God. The legality of being divorced is required, but never forget there is also a spiritual side.

Matthew 19
7They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" 8He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
9"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."



1 Corinthians 7
10But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
15Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
16For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

cnw
Jan 27th 2009, 02:01 AM
He is still married in God's eyes and if you love him you may encourage him to make things right with his wife. More than likely he is just as much the culprit as she is and you are just "the other woman" right now. If there are kids in the pic, you are an instigator of this man not reconciling with his wife.
As hard as it may be, this man should run from you...and vice versa.

cindylou
Jan 27th 2009, 04:06 PM
It's a sin. He belongs to another woman and you are commiting adultry.


She didnt say she was sleeping with him - just dating

Its not adultry until there is sexual activity involved......right?

cindylou
Jan 27th 2009, 04:14 PM
I would be very careful. There are plenty of fish in the sea...so to speak...and I wouldnt waste time on one that was not 100% available.

You deserve better than that. I would keep contact but I would keep it as friends, no dates. He should understand. If not, then find another. Easy as pie. :D

Just be careful with your heart - while I doubt that you are commiting a sin, this is not the situation I would put my sensitive heart in.

Be careful! :D :D

SeekingWisdom
Jan 27th 2009, 06:35 PM
She didnt say she was sleeping with him - just dating

Its not adultry until there is sexual activity involved......right?

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

I don't like it when people look for ways to skim over sin by technicalities.

"Well technically...."

Wrong is wrong, period.

graceforme
Jan 29th 2009, 03:48 PM
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

I don't like it when people look for ways to skim over sin by technicalities.

"Well technically...."

Wrong is wrong, period.


Wise words. She is dating a married man. Whether sex is involved or not doesn't make a difference. I say - cut those ties immediately. If he has any respect for her, he will respect this decision.

Sin is sin - we can't change the definition to fit our actions.

God Bless.

cindylou
Jan 29th 2009, 04:07 PM
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

I don't like it when people look for ways to skim over sin by technicalities.

"Well technically...."

Wrong is wrong, period.


lol I'm sorry you dont like it, but I'm not trying to skim over a sin, why would I do that? There is no motivation ...Im not the one dating a married man

good point, but the delivery was not so good. lol

Oregongrown
Jan 30th 2009, 03:51 PM
I know that I could not date a man that is married. This is how I have come to believe in God's Word. I mean this is what I believe He tells me. I do not for a minute believe that God would bring a married man into my life "in that way". Much of my life has been lived by me being my own "god". Anything I believed was ok, was. The consequences of living much of my life like that still plague me at times if I take my eyes off Jesus. Please don't see this letter as a criticism or me looking down on you or throwing rocks. I could never do that without "stoning" myself. Every time I disobey God though, there are consequences. The "world" offers lots of temporary comfort for folks who don't follow the Lord's Word. They will try and convince you it is ok. Do what feels right or good. Following the Lord isn't easy because He tells us to die to self. What? Stop reaching for what I want in life? He won't satisfy, He won't fulfil all my hearts desires, He won't let me have any fun. Those are satan's lies. If we follow Jesus we will have ALL including the Keys to the Kingdom and wealth as well as love, beyond what this "world" has to offer. A sister in Christ, denise:hug:



Hey there,

I just started dating this guy who's still married, but separated. I highly doubt they're not hooking up again (she cheated on him).

Anyway, what are your thoughts on that? Is this a sin?

He is getting divorced to her, but it does take awhile.

I appreciate your thoughts :)

topcat2
Feb 3rd 2009, 12:40 AM
I will only share my daughter's experience ...she is divorced..and a separated man became very interested...gave her constant attention until
she really fell hard for him..then, after calling her many times a day for a few months...all of a sudden he stopped...no explanation..not even a text
message...nothing...well she was very hurt by it...and finally found out that he had taken his wife back....so..please think it over long and hard..I would say it's probably not what God wants for you, given the fact the guy is still married...also..you can get hurt very badly..just my thoughts on it...

sunsetssplendor
Feb 4th 2009, 06:20 PM
She didnt say she was sleeping with him - just dating

Its not adultry until there is sexual activity involved......right?
You cannot DATE another woman's husband.

I really hope the OP has moved on and left this man and his family alone.

Prayin_saint
Feb 5th 2009, 05:34 AM
Actually - unless she walks away as an unbeliever, or she commits adultery and things are irreconcilable - you would still be committing adultery. If it's still recognized as a marriage by God nobody has any reason to be with another if they wish to follow God. The legality of being divorced is required, but never forget there is also a spiritual side.

The wife did cheat, according to the OP... though it has not been stated if things between the original couple are irreconcilable.

I would listen to these very wise, loving women. It is not a good idea to date him while they are still separated, wait and get to know him maybe- but until the divorce is finalized It would be a very bad idea. That marriage- damaged as it is, is still legal and you have to respect that. If not for all the reasons already stated- to avoid the appearance of evil. Those closest to the him and her will/may understand that she did the cheating... but others seeing you dating him while he's still getting a divorce might shed the doubt on you and him- that you might seem to be the other woman which broke things up. You don't want to be that person- if this is the man for you, wait and give your relationship a clean begining after all of the legal proceedings are done. No doubt in your mind, his, or the minds of others.

Diggindeeper
Feb 5th 2009, 08:35 AM
Not much more I can add, except that you are trespassing and you are helping to break up a home.

Listen. I was once the wife, and I did not cheat on my husband, but he did the wandering. But...and hear this well...when a marriage is in trouble, like this one...he can tell you that SHE cheated on him. She may be saying HE cheated on her. We only have what you say that he has said.

Regardless, you are only the other woman. And that marriage needs to be restored!

I'm with the others who have all said, "GET OUT!" I would sure hate to give account to Almighty God for helping to destroy a marriage and a home.

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