2 days ago my wife and I took our youngest son Caleb to see the paediatrician. After an hours appointment he confirmed that Caleb is autistic (autistic spectrum disorder). Friends will already know that my eldest 2 sons (15 1/2 & 14) are autistic, then we have 2 normal (horrible word) sons, lastly Caleb.

So 3 autistic children out of 5. But instead of being upset or disappointed, I see Caleb as a huge blessing - like all my sons. He's no different after the diagnosis than before. We've had him in our family for 4 years and recognised the signs ages ago.

All children are individuals. Like all of us really! They all have strengths and weaknesses. My eldest 2 have shown me, what autistic/ disabled children are capable of. Achieving very highly at school, but socially being hopeless.

Today I pray for all parents and their disabled children. Especially for those with autistic children and similar disabilities. We are all so lucky that our Lord chose us, to parent these special children. God bless each of you. SofTy.

Is Caleb eligible for NAS Earlybird or similar if that is available in your county?

God is so Good. What a great God that he would bless your child as well as yourself. Giving your child a parent full of the love of Christ and the ability and knowledge to better care for him than anyone else and you a son who will undoubtedly come to know Christ and be able to testify to unconditional love like few others.
Makes me want to cry. Why can't people see the truth. The Blessing is not just everlasting life, it's here and now. Thank You for making my day.
:hug:
I pray for many more Blessings for you and your family, Softy.

-Todd

Wonderful post, SofTY - you made me cry. Your boys and wife are blessed to have you as the loving head of the family.

My son was born with some very noticeable physical ... differences.

And I know for a fact that this child was placed into my womb by God, just like that. God makes no mistakes. Because of my son, a world has opened itself up to us that we otherwise would have never been a part of, and a wonderful world it is. We've met amputees as young as infants and children with all hosts of physical challenges and the parents that will take care of their children, regardless. We've been blessed to have Shriners Hospitals as part of our lives as well as other such organizations that are filled with caring people who we otherwise would never have met, and for who we are so thankful. Sometimes God has to knock the rug out from under us (so to speak) and help us understand that there are many, many caring people in the world, and that every child matters, regardless, and that their "disabilities" so many times really expose the disabilities within ourselves. Children are a blessing from the Lord. And they are whole people, regardless of what we consider "broken". We're the ones who are broken if we can't understand that. :hug:

Is Caleb eligible for NAS Earlybird or similar if that is available in your county?

In September Caleb will be able to attend the same special school that our 2nd son did. They specialise in autism, as well as other mental health issues.

Until then, he attends a normal play group, which has 3 or 4 autistic or similar children. My wife has set up an afternoon play group only for children with special needs called 'No Appologies.'

There is an Early Years organisation, that spots these children and works with them, pre school.

Provision is good in my area.

What parents need is eachother. Years ago there was a group we were part of. Odd evenings, days out. When you meet another family, get their number and stay in touch. We've often been at theme parks or days out and either we will approach a family or the other way round. There is a bond, unspoken, between parents with special needs parents. We know the struggles and that those people have 'been there' like us.

May God bless all parents reading this topic, who have 'been there' or are still struggling. The little things make all the difference. Please feel free to share the good times and the bad on this topic. Love SofTy.

God is so Good. What a great God that he would bless your child as well as yourself. Giving your child a parent full of the love of Christ and the ability and knowledge to better care for him than anyone else and you a son who will undoubtedly come to know Christ and be able to testify to unconditional love like few others.
Makes me want to cry. Why can't people see the truth. The Blessing is not just everlasting life, it's here and now. Thank You for making my day.
:hug:
I pray for many more Blessings for you and your family, Softy.

-Todd

My 2nd son has asked to be baptised. After 3 years of bible reading and attending church for some months, he just asked me. I have appraoched the church, for the next course. He is more severely autistic than our eldest son.

His life, has helped make me a new person. 14 years of knowing him. He sees the world differently, doesn't walk around with the mask most of us wear, says most things honestly - often too honestly!?

I hope opportunities to share my family life with 3 autistic children will present themselves in future. How my faith has helped. I really should spend more time in the Family Forum! Love SofTy.

Wonderful post, SofTY - you made me cry. Your boys and wife are blessed to have you as the loving head of the family.

Parents of disabled children know the truth of Ecclesiasties chapter 3.

verse 4 - A time to weep,and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Days are long, often flowing through the night and joining one day to the next with little or no sleep. I don't want to upset anyone. But soiled bedding is not fun. A child screaming for hours, when nothing will consol it. Having to restrain a violent child, very physically until the time is over. Watching them in a 'world of their own' mentally. Happy to leave our world for long periods.

I want to cry with the memories of years too. But would I swop them for an easy life - never. Now we are starting the long process again. Praise our Lord for his kindness. SofTy.

Thanks for sharing and may God bless your son and your family.

Parents of disabled children know the truth of Ecclesiasties chapter 3.

verse 4 - A time to weep,and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Days are long, often flowing through the night and joining one day to the next with little or no sleep. I don't want to upset anyone. But soiled bedding is not fun. A child screaming for hours, when nothing will consol it. Having to restrain a violent child, very physically until the time is over. Watching them in a 'world of their own' mentally. Happy to leave our world for long periods.

I want to cry with the memories of years too. But would I swop them for an easy life - never. Now we are starting the long process again. Praise our Lord for his kindness. SofTy.

I have been there with my son (minus soiled bedding)...but the raging and having to restrain him. For a long time they thought he might have AS..a higher functioning form of autism but finally ruled that out. He was born with alot of problems...food and airborne allergies, a learning disability, ADHD, sensory integration disorder, fine and gross motor delays. At one point they thought he might be bipolar or schizophrenic...but he is not. He has alot of anxiety problems too. Some of this...probably alot actually of his acting up was due to emotional abuse by his dad at an early age. Other times I think it was just sheer frustration..sensory overload...struggling to learn.. So many different things play into this as I image you know. Each problem had to be tackled one by one...clothes irrigating his skin all the time, yet not knowing when he was getting over heated or too cold...seeking out extreme sensations so he would frequently get stuck in things...under the mattress, behind the fish tank...he needed compression...yet overly sensitive to other things!

Nate is doing a billion times better now though..he never drifted off into his own world like autistic children do. But was very sociable. And through many types of therapy, treatment for his allergies, mental health therapy, therapy for his motor delays and spiritual warfare, he has overcome most of these problems. Recently he just started sleeping in his own room. :pp I know for many parents that would seem odd or even shocking that he just now started doing this (at age 13..he just turned 13)...he was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in my room. This was the last big hurler for him though. Over coming that fear of sleeping alone. See when he was very little, three or four, his stupid drunk dad told him to never sleep in his own room or a bad man would break in and get him and kill him...:(

This fear has ruled his life for many, many years. Image saying that to a regular child...how bad it would be...but to say this to a child already struggling with so many different issues, most unknown to me at the time...the impact was tremendous. He was terrified of the windows in any part of the house for years. Would build traps in the yard to 'catch bad guys' he would tell me though I had no idea why he was so obsessed with catching bad guys at the time. He started having terrible nightmares around the age of three that would happen so many times a night, I finally moved him in with me because it was so constant. As soon as he would fall asleep the nightmares would come. I could reach over and nudge him out of it. That was the only way either of us could get any sleep.

I called the nurse talked to her about it...did the 'monster spray' thing...nothing worked. It didn't work because I didn't know the cause of the nightmares...which were all due to his dad..the demon chasing him in his dreams was his dad! once I figure that out a few years ago and told him (kind of long how it all came to be in his mind) the nightmares stopped...after suffering with them for many, many years. Going to school so tired because of them but he had them so much he couldn't miss school every time because of them..

Anyway...as I said over Christmas break he finally (Thank you Lord) started sleeping in his own room. I have a window alarm on one window to help make him feel safer...the other his desk blocks partly. Nate also just started trying his shoes on his own for the first time last year (in fifth grade).. though he tried, he just wasn't doing it right and they wouldn't stay tied but if he asked a teacher to help him he would be told he was old enough to do it himself...to his humiliation. Yes I talked to the school about that. See he baffled the teachers because he wasn't in special ed...he has a normal IQ, yet did have some delays in certain areas...so they think he should be able to do this himself. I had to get him Velcro shoes for years because he was so afraid they would come untied at school and he would be embarrassed in front of his class mates and teachers because he couldn't tie them.

I had to go into the skating rink with him when he went skating with friends to lace up his skates and tie them...and try to do this all without it drawing unwanted attention to him.:cool: For this reason too he avoided certain types of clothing...plus he always hated snaps, zippers, buttons anyway. He just started wearing jeans too for the first time last year....after putting a dent in the bathroom wall with his head because he got so frustrated and upset with them to start with...:cool:

So he has overcome the clothes issues, the tying issues and now the sleeping in his own room issue...:lol: And so much, much more...too much to list on here...

I guess in my long drawn out way ServantofTruth..I am trying to say that yes, I understand. Though our children don't have the exact same problems...I do have a pretty good idea what you are going through. You and your wife and children are in my prayers too. They are blessings...a present from God..the lessons we learn from them can be hard lessons to learn for sure...but bring great blessing in the end. :)

I am glad you are seeing this in a positive way. The bible says to thank God for everything...and this means literally...everything. But I know the struggle and the grief and the tears too..I only thought I knew how to pray until I had my son..then I learned truly how to pray and to pray without ceasing...

God bless

Parents of disabled children know the truth of Ecclesiasties chapter 3.

verse 4 - A time to weep,and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Days are long, often flowing through the night and joining one day to the next with little or no sleep. I don't want to upset anyone. But soiled bedding is not fun. A child screaming for hours, when nothing will consol it. Having to restrain a violent child, very physically until the time is over. Watching them in a 'world of their own' mentally. Happy to leave our world for long periods.

I want to cry with the memories of years too. But would I swop them for an easy life - never. Now we are starting the long process again. Praise our Lord for his kindness. SofTy.


I have 2 children with special needs my oldest who is grown and out of the house has spina biffada and my 9 y/o has tourrettes. These children do cause tears to flow at times, but because they have such needs they draw so close to you , closer then my other children who don't need me quite as much. To those with out special needs children in thier lives it may be hard to understand when we who do say Thank You God for this gift . I think you have to have a child who is so special to really understand this path we walk.

I have 2 children with special needs my oldest who is grown and out of the house has spina biffada and my 9 y/o has tourrettes. These children do cause tears to flow at times, but because they have such needs they draw so close to you , closer then my other children who don't need me quite as much. To those with out special needs children in thier lives it may be hard to understand when we who do say Thank You God for this gift . I think you have to have a child who is so special to really understand this path we walk.


Servent of Truth, Thank you for letting others see your strength and Faith.

SofTy, you stand as a wonderful example of a kind, caring parent. Your wife and boys are all very blessed to have you. God bless you and your family always -- I know He already has. :hug:

Thank you for sharing and may God give you strength and wisdom for your task He has given you.

I have always believed in my heart that God gives special children to special parents. I think it is a privilege to be given such a responsibility.

Though my children have no disabilities, I raised them as individuals. I always tell people when they ask how many children I have, "I have three only children."

Each child is like an only child. They are unique in their own way. To this day I enjoy each of their personalities and gifts the Lord has given them.
I can see you do the same.:hug:

I pray that the Lord will give you and your wife the strength and wisdom to raise all your children

Im so happy God has given these children someone like you :)

Thank you. SofTy.

I wrote a magazine article about my youngest daughter Kimberly. She was diagnosed at 4 and a half. I had quite an epiphany when I finally received in my spirit that yes, she HAS been fearfully and wonderfully made as the scriptures say. It is not her that has a 'problem' but those who can not see that God created her to be HER! Not someone else. I no longer see her as 'disabled' for I believe she is quite 'able' to fulfill the very distinct purpose our God has created her to fulfill. :) It was me that had the problem when I was trying to fit her into the box that we call 'normal'. :rolleyes: It's been quite a journey and I look forward to see what has been purposed for her. My prayer is that God reveal His purpose to her so that she can walk in and accomplish that purpose. ;) Thanks for sharing your experience SofTy. I am so encouraged by parents of older autistic children. (She's 8)

God Bless!
Denise

Be encouraged some more. The special school that our 2nd son attended had a great teacher that we really respected. She took us on one side and kindly explained that he would never 'achieve' anything.

That was about 7 years ago. She went on to bigger and better things jobwise. Our son went into mainstream junior school, then onto secondary school. He's in the top sets, extremely bright and achademically a high achiever. Yes he has a special needs assistant with him every minute, but she doesn't do his work or need to help him with it. He's ahead of most of his year group and even explains things like Maths to individuals or the whole class.

Generally he's well behaved and polite.

He's also the only one of my sons who wants to come to church and he has asked to be baptised. The Lord is already working through him, at school, at home, everywhere. Yes our Lord uses all his children. We are truely blessed. SofTy.

This thread has blessed me tremendously. The youngest of my two grandsons is autistic and a very sweet and bright young boy. He's 8 years old, and a newpaper wrote an article titled 'Evan, the human sponge'. When it comes to math, he really does soak it all up :).

Unlike some other autistic children my grandson does not seem to grasp who God really is. He has learned to say his prayers at night, though. We continue to pray for him.

I wrote a little poem for him, and if I may, I'd like to share it with you:

Angel Child
They say you're special; different; strange;
That you're unable to understand -
God's glory, power, love and might,
And that He holds you in His Hand.

Is this true, my little one?
Can you not know God's only Son?
Does He not live in your world too
When you do what it is you do?

You also cry, laugh, play and run
Under God's moon and stars and sun;
Living in your strange strange place
Your real self hidden from your face.

Yes, He loves you, angel child -
He loves you when you're mild or wild.
He doesn't care just what you do,
For He will not stop loving you.

The truth that you may never see,
Is that He died for you and me -
But you are special, pure and true
And He will always be with you.

© by Belinda van Rensburg

ServantOfTruth, you and your wife must be special people indeed for God to have entrusted the care of these wonderful children to you. May He grant you the wisdom and means necessary to guide them and provide for all their needs.

God bless.

Thanx Pfif ....

your poem is such encouragement......

our new school year started Wednesday here in SA, and it's been a battle ( only autie parents will understand ) ...... but my "angel child" seems to be settling this morning ..

May I make prints of this for his teacher and the parents of his classmates ? .....

:hug:
m

Last night I was up for 4 hours with our 4 year old autistic son. He acted like it was mid day. The rest of the family slept while we watched tv and played.

A Christian lady at a coffee morning yesterday was saying how proud she was of working for 40 years and never claiming a penny of benefit. That her parents had been the same and now her children.

Guess she got a good nights sleep as well. I gently said when I met her next coffee morning, I would share with her life with autistic children and being on benefits.

Her pride and ego were hurting me, just a little, and we need to get to know eachother better, to increase the love amoung believers. SofTy.

SofTy..

..... you in the UK and our USA friends here on BF don't know your blessings !! ........ here in South Africa there is no such things as "benefits" for families with disabled children........

.... we are however blessed te be in a town where there is as "special needs" school who, after a fight with education authorities, now have a seperate class for autistic children .....other than here, there are only 3 other big cities with schools that cater for these little ones in SA......

... our educational system is also much to academically orientated to find place for these children ( personal care assistants defenately not welcome ! ).... some private schools make arrangements for these children, but only at great financial cost for parents.....

:spin: .... m

..... yesterday afternoon little one ran into the shop, back from the third day of the new school year , sat on my lap and sang a song ....... it took a few moments to figure out the words, but the tune sounded fimiliar.....

" I've got.......... peace like a river "


.... and as always, with every song he sings, he ended up with ( hands in the air ) " He's got the whole world.... in His hands......


..............

if in doubt...... SING ! ........

Last night I was up for 4 hours with our 4 year old autistic son. He acted like it was mid day. The rest of the family slept while we watched tv and played.

A Christian lady at a coffee morning yesterday was saying how proud she was of working for 40 years and never claiming a penny of benefit. That her parents had been the same and now her children.

Guess she got a good nights sleep as well. I gently said when I met her next coffee morning, I would share with her life with autistic children and being on benefits.

Her pride and ego were hurting me, just a little, and we need to get to know eachother better, to increase the love amoung believers. SofTy.

Boy do I remember those days! Where Nate might sleep a few hours then be up the rest of the night...or for hours in the middle of the night before going back to sleep. Being that young of course I had to stay up with him too. Now he is older when this happens, which it does once in awhile, he just watches TV while I sleep. Gets his own drinks or snack or whatever. He seems to handle the lack of sleep ok while I feel just horrible and can hardly think straight...couldn't image having to go to work somewhere on top of this...I would have been fired for making mistakes because I seriously can't think straight when I am that tired.

Just wanted you to know someone out here knows what you are going through...:hug:

God bless

Do any of the moms here have advice on potty training a very sensitive autistic child ? ........ we've tried everything but he refuses to use a toilet....... to the point of getting bladder infection and contipation if taken off the nappies ......

autie blessings
m

Do any of the moms here have advice on potty training a very sensitive autistic child ? ........ we've tried everything but he refuses to use a toilet....... to the point of getting bladder infection and contipation if taken off the nappies ......

autie blessings
m

Each child will be different of course so I did a search for you and you can check out these websites and see if any one might help. You know your child better then anyone.

Potty training an autistic child. (http://www.google.com/search?q=potty+training+autistic+child&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a)

While my son is not Autistic he had alot of issues...sensory issues which Autistic children have. He would not use a public bathroom as the sound of their flushing toilets were so much louder then at home. It scared him and he would put his hands over his ears. So if he had to go while out somewhere, I had to just take him home or have him go but then leave the bathroom before I flushed it.

At home I had him watch a children's video on potty training plus it came with a little doll and its own potty chair....oh and a book on it too. He didn't like the video but did like me reading to him. I read the book daily for a few weeks along with his other books he liked. He seemed pretty resistant to the idea too...

I put pull up's on him like they said to do then ...but we didn't even use a whole bag of them because one day he had a BM in one and because they are so tight fitting I didn't know it...I went to change him and just pulled them down and well..it made a big mess and he freaked out...again part of his sensory problems. After that he refused to wear them..instead wearing normal underwear and used the potty chair..though again that was short lived and he wanted to use the big one. Once he finally got going, he would be overly sensitive to the need to go...its like we went from one extreme to another! At night he still had to wear a diaper...they usually do for awhile. But would wake me up at least once a night needing to use the bathroom...he hated to have any accidents in his diaper...even though that was what it was for.

Good luck and remember to reward for him at least trying to go...but no you don't want to push it to the point it creates these kinds of health issues either. You might have to just back off for awhile then try again. Maybe you can give him little rewards for letting you read a potty training book to him geared for children. Reward each small step along the way. If he makes a mistake...don't react to it...no negative words or anything like that..it could make him resist even more.

God bless