This week I have met yet another man who is seperated from his wife, yet studies the bible daily harder than most. Yesterday I was at my bible group with a friend (who I invited) who can go to the 3rd world for a month, but can't live with his wife and daughter.

I know of other Christians, even ministers, locally who in the last few years have seperated from there wives and just keep on full throttle with their 'work' for our Lord.

Now first, I acknowledge, that we don't know individual private circumstances. In some cases there may be good reasons, even biblical, for the split. Some of these people may be working behind the scenes to reunite. But in the cases I know better, the circumstances are very 'worldly' and the attitude well that's over, now I've got more time to do Christian things - more services, more events, more drinking coffee and meeting people.

Why is it in every case I know, so far, the man who has become obsessed and caused the split?

I think I understand this so well, because I have felt the same pull. I have wanted to go to lots of churches and meet lots of my Christian brothers/ sisters. To praise/ worship and feel good. My wife is not a believer, so doesn't come.

I'm making a few changes in my life at the moment. One is that I am changing church and as I do this, I feel it is time to stop visiting lots of churches as well. To commit to one church and if I occassionally go to another church, well keep it occassionally. Not 3 times a week as I have been doing!

Also there is a need to listen to our partners. Service for our Lord includes our wives and children. Balance is needed. Like these other people I have too often met the needs of people I know need visiting, even when my wife has said, you'll help other people but not me. I'm actually hearing that now.

I have also gone too far with my bible reading. From a nice steady 2 chapters all last year, to increasing to 3 chapters and then also reading at bed time another chapter or 2. This is not study - this is obsession and destructive. So this is another area I will be reducing so I can ponder longer on less reading and actually apply it through the day.

I'm not saying how anyone reading approaches things is right or wrong. Just rambling and sharing my present my present thought process.

I believe the Spirit reveals things. He has been showing me a few things for awhile and I've been seeing but not acting. The change of church was first. But for a few months I have been shown these men who put religion/ church before their families and yes before faith in Jesus Christ. Because my bible study tells me, that our faith would not cause barriers with our wife, especially if that wife is Christian.

One wonderful thing about my new church, is that the pastor's wife does card making and is running a session at the tuesday coffee morning. My wife also does card making and has agreed to go with me. Our Lord I believe has opened this opportunity.

Love to you all. Serving the Lord, includes loving our family. SofTy.

The only place you're truly irreplaceable is with your family, i.e. your spouse and children.

Anyplace else can find another to fill your shoes. Maybe not the exact same way, but close enough.

And so I think you're on the exact right track. :hug:

I have also gone too far with my bible reading. From a nice steady 2 chapters all last year, to increasing to 3 chapters and then also reading at bed time another chapter or 2. This is not study - this is obsession and destructive. So this is another area I will be reducing so I can ponder longer on less reading and actually apply it through the day.



I understand what you're saying, but I don't think reading 5 chapters of the Bible per day is going too far or is "obsessive and destructive", especially when people these days spend so much time being entertained and in vain pursuits.

Honestly, I can't imagine striving to read the Bible less. Certainly there are other things we could give up if we need more time.

Living and sharing that love you read about in the Word will do way more to 'witness' to your wife than outward religious acts, such as reading the Word and attending all kinds of services.
You should not quit reading the Word. But you DO need to spend quality time with your spouse, and let her see and feel Christ's love in you. And, amazingly, just 'saying' you love her, or that Christ loves her, is not enough. She has to see it, and experience it from you and through you.

Living and sharing that love you read about in the Word will do way more to 'witness' to your wife than outward religious acts, such as reading the Word and attending all kinds of services.
You should not quit reading the Word. But you DO need to spend quality time with your spouse, and let her see and feel Christ's love in you. And, amazingly, just 'saying' you love her, or that Christ loves her, is not enough. She has to see it, and experience it from you and through you.

There is no chance of me quitting reading God's Word/ the bible. :saint: Or teaching my children the Word 7 days a week, 365. I just need to get more out of the daily reading I am doing. I can read most of the bible every year, but I was planning to read much of it twice - which in my present circumstances is too much. Love SofTy.

The sad thing is that most people are looking to find a person that loves the Lord with all their heart and loves their wife like Christ loved the church, but christianity turns into a job to them. How can you disciple a man, and be a wreck yourself. They must take the plank out of their eye before they take the speck out of anothers.