Hello all, as this is my first post on this message board, I just want to say thank you for even taking the time out to look at this post.

My issues is that my husband (who is currently serving in Kuwait) and I have different beliefs. He has very strong Baptist beliefs (he was baptized at the age of 12 and saved 3 different times), and I have very strong Methodist beliefs (I was baptized as in infant, and have only been saved once, though have professed my faith numerous times).

Once he gets back in August, we will be looking for a church home together. However, we cannot decide what type of church to go to. The last church he attended, and is still a member of, has VERY strict Baptist views. One that really gets to me is that they do not condone rock music - even if it is Christian Rock. I believe that if Christian rock music is the best way to help someone put their faith in Jesus, then it should be considered. I also do not believe that someone can actually be saved more than once. To me, it just gives off this "I'll sin now, and be saved tomorrow" type of attitude. I confess my sins (to my Lord only), and wipe the slate clean. His church fears God, whereas mine loves God.

Another difference is that I absolutely love telling others how wonderful God is and how he has performed miracles in my life - as I consider even finding my husband a miracle. My husband, however is extremely quiet around others concerning his beliefs, as he does not want to upset anyone.

I attended a Methodist church with him in our soon-to-be hometown, and automatically felt right at home. He liked it, but did not feel that it was right for him. He has suggested in the past that we attend church separately. It's always been my dream to attend church with my husband.

Should I do as the Bible say and submit to my husband and let him lead my spiritual teaching? Or should we compromise and attend some other type of church or shop around for one that we are both comfortable in? *Note, I have attended 3 different Baptist churches and have never felt more judged and damned in my life - to the point that I thought God truly hated me.

Please give some advice, and again, thank you for taking the time out to read this long post.

God Bless.

Why not a different denomination altogether? Because here's the thing... You should both be Christians before anything else, i.e., denomination.

Why not a different denomination altogether? Because here's the thing... You should both be Christians before anything else, i.e., denomination.

I agree with Xel! In fact, I have never seen the need for factions among God's children.

I agree, with both of you. And we are Christians before anything. However, I know he is very traditional in his Baptist beliefs (he did feel he was growing apart from his old church), and I am very traditional in my Methodist beliefs.

What denomination would be between? The problem with non-denominational (only from what I hear), is that they ARE extremely progressive. Whilst I do welcome all in the house of the Lord - gay, straight, bi, etc. - I do not condone that behavior. I have my own sins to judge though, so I do not try to judge others on their lifestyle.

Again, from what I hear, nondenominational condones this sort of behavior. Can you shed some light, and let me know if I am mistaken? If not, what would be the best for us as a compromise?


Thank you both for taking the time out to respond!

I agree, with both of you. And we are Christians before anything. However, I know he is very traditional in his Baptist beliefs (he did feel he was growing apart from his old church), and I am very traditional in my Methodist beliefs.

What denomination would be between? The problem with non-denominational (only from what I hear), is that they ARE extremely progressive. Whilst I do welcome all in the house of the Lord - gay, straight, bi, etc. - I do not condone that behavior. I have my own sins to judge though, so I do not try to judge others on their lifestyle.

Again, from what I hear, nondenominational condones this sort of behavior. Can you shed some light, and let me know if I am mistaken? If not, what would be the best for us as a compromise?

Thank you both for taking the time out to respond!

I was actually suggesting a number of other denominations, not just nondenominational. As I've never attended a nondenominational church, I wouldn't be able to tell you how "progressive" they are.

I have attended a number of Baptist churches and never felt that way...:hmm: Also Methodist churches, Presbyterian, well just about any denomination there is...they are pretty much the same just have a little different view on certain passages in the bible is all.

You both need to follow God's Word and not what a church says....following a church doctrine can be a dangerous thing if it doesn't line up with scriptures or ignores other passages in the bible to force its view. (which far too many do these days) You are followers of Christ...not what a church says.

Since he was raised this way its probably pretty ingrained and what he expects in a church and I suspect change in a church will be difficult for him. I think you both need to find a nondenominational church you are both fairly happy with...I doubt either of you will be totally happy with it..at least not in the beginning...but you can compromise this way. I personal don't like seeing a married couple attend different churches because those teachings are brought into the home and cause problems. He will come home saying his church said you two should do this and that and you will be saying your church said the opposite...both having scriptures to back it up.

This will undermine him too as the spiritual leader of the home if your church is teaching the opposite of what his is...and that can do alot of damage to a marriage.

Please both of you just pray on this. God isn't legalistic as it sounds like some of his former church teachings fell into. At the same time you don't want to swing too far the other way either and what I hear about some Methodist churches these days, they do...allowing sin in the church and thinking its a sign of God's love. While God loves us, He doesn't love sin and does expect people to stop sinning.

God bless

I live by 1 Corinthians 1:12-13. Christ was not divided in Paul's day and isn't in my life either.

I honestly did not know which church I was going to this morning untill bed time last night. I pray and ask our Lord to send me each week. On a friday, I buy the local paper and cut out the church services at ALL the local churches.

But he has sent me to churches in my area, that don't even appear in the paper! At 10.30am I found myself at one Methodist church, this afternoon at 2.30pm another mini Methodist church and tonight I'm going to a Protestant Free Church, that I haven't been to for 4 weeks - though I have joined them once for coffee on a friday morning.

Next week is a complete mystery to me. I have many churches where I want to go and I know friends will make me welcome. But I'll be patient all week until I 'feel' my prayer is answered and I obey where I am sent.

Perhaps many will say, this is not correct? Well I've had a regular bible group for a year, which I'll go to on wednesday. I've got a base church that I go to once a week for praise/ worship and also regularly for coffee fellowship.

Infact the Methodist church I went to this morning is coming to my base Pentecostal church on Saturday for prayer walking.

The Baptist/ Methodist divide will only be a problem if you focus on the differences and let people in those churches 'doubt another man's servant' or the teaching/ preaching/ fruits of the other church.

How about trying alternate weeks? If you both follow Jesus and stand strong in his name many things will be possible and your witness for church unity wounderful to see.

Lastly may I ask how you both feel about other denominations? Pentecostal, United Reform, Anglican, Free churches and so on....... Would you worship in any trinitarian denomination? SofTy.

Moonglow and Servant, thank you so much for your responses! some of the things that we have considered are either alternating weeks or simply having our own worship service at home. The problem with having our own worship service is that there are too many distractions, kind of like working out at home. It's better to go to a church to get the word, then to stop in the middle because the dogs need food, or the floor is dirty, or the faucet is leaking.

The only thing I see with alternating churches, is again, we will still have this issue of Baptist vs. Methodist. I firmly believe in infant baptism. He believes they should wait until they understand what is going on. Although we do not have kids yet, I feel that if we are not set in our beliefs now that it will ultimately cause an argument if not more later in life.

Servant - I can't honestly say that I know enough about the denominations you listed to make a fair judgement. I am willing to try any church that proceeds through the Bible, but also provides a way to reach out to today's generation, i.e. Christian Contemporary Music, youth programs, etc.

From the replies that I have received it looks like our best bet would be to try out other churches until we both find one we like together.

I would like to know more about the free churches, evangelical, etc.

Don't judge a church based on side issues like music, childcare, or Sunday School. My church was initially a house church, which had none of those things. Couples had to hire babysitters to attend. In fact, we met on Saturday night so that folks could still attend a more familiar church on Sunday morning.

The church started out as mostly college students and young married couples and was/is being taught by college professors, every one committed to the idea that the word of God was infallible, knowable, and accessible with hard work, discipline, and perseverance. Not only did the teachers help us see the meaning of the text, they taught classes on how we can know it for ourselves.

If I were looking for a new church, I wouldn't attend church unless the teacher was able to properly exegete the scriptures and teach them properly to me. And I wouldn't attend a church unless the teaching was at least an hour long, followed by a question and answer period in which those in the congregation might ask the teacher questions regarding what was said.

Announcements should be at most, 5 minutes. Music 10. and no offering at all. Leave a lock box in the back for donations.

So focused on religion :no:
You want a Bible based church then you're going to have to be prepared to concede one thing: you may have wrong beliefs that need changing.

Becca, since your husband is to be the spiritual head of the home, let him choose the church :idea:

Maybe I am being misunderstood. My choice of church has nothing to do with what exact denomination, nor whether or not they can AFFORD to have different programs. It's their beliefs and whether or not they WANT to have the programs.

Again, the church that my husband currently attends does not CONDONE rock music of any kind, including Christian Rock. Now because I am fortunate to have a musical side (15 years of flute, 18 years of piano), I get spiritual guidance a lot more through music. It's not that I don't enjoy reading the Word, but I relate to it easier through music. And I know that there's people out there just like me. The fact that his church is unwilling to utilize rock music to reach out to someone just absolutely appalls me. They also believe that you should have at least 4 kids. My husband right now does not even want to have kids, and with 4 dogs, I definitely don't want that many. They don't believe in birth control. Whereas I do. It's wonderful that God blesses others with children, but I do not want to have one unless I can fully commit myself to them.

I did grow up methodist, and I feel more comfortable in a Methodist church, but I am not unwilling to try other denominations. I'm not completely concerned with what the church title is, but I would like to find one that I do not feel "damned" in every Sunday.

Methodists preach a loving God. All Baptist churches that I have been to preach a God to be feared.

God is a father. You should be fearful to not sin, however, you should walk around with thankfulness in your heart that He loves you. Not that He's going to smite you down every second!

Again, the church that my husband currently attends does not CONDONE rock music of any kind, including Christian Rock. Now because I am fortunate to have a musical side (15 years of flute, 18 years of piano), I get spiritual guidance a lot more through music. It's not that I don't enjoy reading the Word, but I relate to it easier through music. And I know that there's people out there just like me. The fact that his church is unwilling to utilize rock music to reach out to someone just absolutely appalls me.

I'll break it to you gently; this is a matter of personal preference and it is a non issue.



They also believe that you should have at least 4 kids. My husband right now does not even want to have kids, and with 4 dogs, I definitely don't want that many. They don't believe in birth control. Whereas I do. It's wonderful that God blesses others with children, but I do not want to have one unless I can fully commit myself to them.

Something you'll need to talk about with your husband, which I'm sure you're already doing.



I did grow up methodist, and I feel more comfortable in a Methodist church, but I am not unwilling to try other denominations. I'm not completely concerned with what the church title is, but I would like to find one that I do not feel "damned" in every Sunday.

Which will be every church but a Methodist church.



Methodists preach a loving God. All Baptist churches that I have been to preach a God to be feared.

Seems like Methodists could do with preaching a bit more fear and Baptists a bit more love.



God is a father. You should be fearful to not sin, however, you should walk around with thankfulness in your heart that He loves you. Not that He's going to smite you down every second!

No, you should be fearful of God.

My wife and I are bi-denominational, although even that doesn't really fit. We worship at several different locations. Remember that each denomination feels as if they have it mostly right. Find a church with a Bible preaching pastor and don't worry about the labels for now.

I pray you find what you seek.

tt, thank you for much for your words of wisdom. It seems that since I have grown up Methodist, I am already damned by some.


And Xel, though you should fear God as a parent, you should live with LOVE, and hope. I didn't fear my parents every second. Even when I did something wrong, I knew they would be mad, and I was scared. But I also knew they loved me.

When you witness to someone, do you tell them about how much they will fear God when they become a Christian? No, you tell them how Wonderful God is, and what miracles he has performed.

Maybe I am being misunderstood. My choice of church has nothing to do with what exact denomination, nor whether or not they can AFFORD to have different programs. It's their beliefs and whether or not they WANT to have the programs.

Again, the church that my husband currently attends does not CONDONE rock music of any kind, including Christian Rock. Now because I am fortunate to have a musical side (15 years of flute, 18 years of piano), I get spiritual guidance a lot more through music. It's not that I don't enjoy reading the Word, but I relate to it easier through music. And I know that there's people out there just like me. The fact that his church is unwilling to utilize rock music to reach out to someone just absolutely appalls me. They also believe that you should have at least 4 kids. My husband right now does not even want to have kids, and with 4 dogs, I definitely don't want that many. They don't believe in birth control. Whereas I do. It's wonderful that God blesses others with children, but I do not want to have one unless I can fully commit myself to them.

I did grow up methodist, and I feel more comfortable in a Methodist church, but I am not unwilling to try other denominations. I'm not completely concerned with what the church title is, but I would like to find one that I do not feel "damned" in every Sunday.

Methodists preach a loving God. All Baptist churches that I have been to preach a God to be feared.

God is a father. You should be fearful to not sin, however, you should walk around with thankfulness in your heart that He loves you. Not that He's going to smite you down every second!

I think the older songs are beautiful all by themselves actually. But I also like the more contemporary Christian music too. I can understand what you are talking about though...especially for women...I believe music is a wonderful way to worship God and there are many scriptures about that so I think I know what you are saying. You want to worship God in church with other believers through prayer, through music, through loving each other. :)

John 4:24
For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.

There are churches more geared to this...though if you husband grew up in a kind of stale, strict type of church...may not handle that well. You sound like you two have opposite personalities...

(picking a certain church tells alot about the type of personality people have....which I think is why we have all different types of churches...what works for one certainly doesn't for another...alot of that has to do with their upbringing and their personality.)

While I agree the final decision needs to be your husband, the whole idea of marriage includes considering your feelings on this also. If he just chose this and that all the time without considering your thoughts and feelings alot of resentment would happen. That is part of loving your wife by working together on these type of things. :)

The problem is the huge, huge difference in the types of churches you two have attended...you are both going to have to figure out how to close that gap. There is nothing in the bible that says Christian rock music is bad or should be avoided...which I am sure you have told him this. Why they can say that...what you do on your own time is between you and God and I don't think a church should dictate how people live or how many children to have either. If they say four or five children then stop there, someone has to be using birth control in order to not have more! I wonder what scriptures they base this number of children on anyway? I can certainly understand your resistance to attend a church that tells people what they can and cannot do with no scriptural backing like that...I am a little concerned about that actually...that seems rather extreme. What is the name of that church?

With your religious views so drastically different...how did you two get together? (you don't have to answer that if you don't want too) Just seems to me your lifestyle would have clashed so much you would have never gotten together at all.

God bless

We attend a United Methodist Church and a Baptist church primarily.
The Methodist Church is several times larger than our Baptist church and is filled with the most loving people imaginable. My Pastor is very Biblical and cringes every time the General Conference comes up.
I don't agree with everything I see coming out of the UMC, but I am in the trenches teaching Sunday School and seeing God do some amazing work.

Moonglow,

The church shall remain nameless as I do not want there to be any issues involving them. The people are good, I think they are just a little misguided.

As far as my husband and I, we met at work. At the time, I had fallen from grace, and he brought me back to God. We both know that we have alot of differences, however, we basically just work through them.

I have a feeling that this will be something that we have to just try different churches until we find one that we both like..or can at least tolerate! :)

I thank you for your support!

tt, thank you for much for your words of wisdom. It seems that since I have grown up Methodist, I am already damned by some.

There's no condemnation by anyone in this thread. If you feel that there is then I think that should tell you something about how you're approaching this situation.



And Xel, though you should fear God as a parent, you should live with LOVE, and hope. I didn't fear my parents every second. Even when I did something wrong, I knew they would be mad, and I was scared. But I also knew they loved me.

When you witness to someone, do you tell them about how much they will fear God when they become a Christian? No, you tell them how Wonderful God is, and what miracles he has performed.

I actually fear God as the creator of... Everything, not simply a "parent". This fear, by the way, also has a lot to do with reverence, respect and knowing my place in relation to the seat of God. Love, hope... Fear, respect, reverence - these are not mutually exclusive.

Actually yes, I do mention a proper fear of God when witnessing.

Moonglow,

The church shall remain nameless as I do not want there to be any issues involving them. The people are good, I think they are just a little misguided.

As far as my husband and I, we met at work. At the time, I had fallen from grace, and he brought me back to God. We both know that we have alot of differences, however, we basically just work through them.

I have a feeling that this will be something that we have to just try different churches until we find one that we both like..or can at least tolerate! :)

I thank you for your support!

Sure...the reason I asked the name of his church..or the denomination is because there are some that are more cult like and have done alot of damage to alot of people...just wondering is all...but that is ok I understand.

Good luck to you on this anyway! I bet you will be so happy just to have him home..:)

God bless

Hello all, as this is my first post on this message board, I just want to say thank you for even taking the time out to look at this post.

My issues is that my husband (who is currently serving in Kuwait) and I have different beliefs. He has very strong Baptist beliefs (he was baptized at the age of 12 and saved 3 different times), and I have very strong Methodist beliefs (I was baptized as in infant, and have only been saved once, though have professed my faith numerous times).

Once he gets back in August, we will be looking for a church home together. However, we cannot decide what type of church to go to. The last church he attended, and is still a member of, has VERY strict Baptist views. One that really gets to me is that they do not condone rock music - even if it is Christian Rock. I believe that if Christian rock music is the best way to help someone put their faith in Jesus, then it should be considered. I also do not believe that someone can actually be saved more than once. To me, it just gives off this "I'll sin now, and be saved tomorrow" type of attitude. I confess my sins (to my Lord only), and wipe the slate clean. His church fears God, whereas mine loves God.

Another difference is that I absolutely love telling others how wonderful God is and how he has performed miracles in my life - as I consider even finding my husband a miracle. My husband, however is extremely quiet around others concerning his beliefs, as he does not want to upset anyone.

I attended a Methodist church with him in our soon-to-be hometown, and automatically felt right at home. He liked it, but did not feel that it was right for him. He has suggested in the past that we attend church separately. It's always been my dream to attend church with my husband.

Should I do as the Bible say and submit to my husband and let him lead my spiritual teaching? Or should we compromise and attend some other type of church or shop around for one that we are both comfortable in? *Note, I have attended 3 different Baptist churches and have never felt more judged and damned in my life - to the point that I thought God truly hated me.

Please give some advice, and again, thank you for taking the time out to read this long post.

God Bless.
Hi Becca.

I'm answering this, because I've been in a situation that was somewhat similar to yours... although our circumstances were very different.

I too have been torn as to whether to obey my husband or not. In my case, my husband was not just someone from a different denomination... at the time he wasn't even a Christian.

He told me not to attend church, not to pray in the same room as him, and not to read the Bible in front of him.

I was, as you can imagine, terribly upset by this. At the time my husband was largely bed bound, and I was his sole carer, so in order to read the Bible I had to leave his bedside, which didn't feel right, or keep a copy in the bathroom so I could sneak a peek when I went to the loo.

Immediately after he told me not to read the Bible in his presence, or to pray in front of him (that was nearly impossible... how do you not talk to God?) I went to cry in the bathroom. I opened my Bible, and randomly it fell on a passage you must have read... about obedience. And I decided to take Peter's advice. After all, Peter was a married man, as we know from scripture, his mother in law was welcome in his home, so he wasn't a male chauvinist pig! And my personal experience is, that when I read his advice to wives to obey their husbands and trust God... God poured out his blessings.

Within a fortnight of my husband's edict, he had repented enough of his severity that he actually asked me to read to him from the Bible. Within a month he was saved. (For the first and only time.) And when he died, seven months after telling me that I was not to pray or read the Bible, he had actually become a Christian himself, who prayed, who asked me to read him scripture (although he was too ill to read it himself) and he witnessed to everyone who visited him, whether they were nurses, or doctors, or friends, that Jesus was real, and that He had saved him.

My advice to you is this.

It is hard to be obedient. Very very hard indeed. But it is also one of the greatest priveleges that we can ever have. Jesus Christ was obedient unto death.

Women who marry are given the privelege of trusting God. When I first became Christian, I had no way of knowing that God would save my then athiest husband. But I knew that God told me to obey that man. And I obeyed him.

And through my choice to be obedient, I discovered blessings, and my husband was blessed, beyond anything I could ever have expected.

You should be obedient to your husband. Only God knows what He wants to achieve through your obedience... but how God does bless obedience. Even if your only reason to obey your husband in this was to obey your God... what a wonderful reason?

It may seem to you as completely illogical and counter intuitive to obey your husband as it did to me when I sat crying in the bathroom after my husband forbad me from church, praying or reading scripture in front of him....

But is it not enough to do what God requires you to do?

Every voice in my head told me to disobey my husband. And I thank God to this day that I ignored them. Logic can be a liar. God is God, and what you do to honour Him will be blessed, in this world, and the next.

There's no condemnation by anyone in this thread. If you feel that there is then I think that should tell you something about how you're approaching this situation.


Xel,

I do not read into anything that isn't already there. Maybe this subject is a little touchy, but with a husband overseas, and us just starting our lives together, it tends to be. However, I don't think you can tell me about how I feel or "how I'm approaching this situation". I have my own experiences with God, and with the church.

Instead of accusing me of approaching the situation wrong, maybe you should be asking me WHY I feel condemned. I don't feel that as a Christian, you are really reaching out to your fellow sister. Maybe this was the wrong place to come for "Christianly" advice.

Daughter,

Thank you for the advice. I shall consider it. It IS hard for me to put all of my faith into my husband to make the right choice for us. I trust that he would, however, he can be easily influenced by people he's known for a long time. He sees the good in everyone. Because of my life, it's hard for me to not question things, hard for me to put faith in people, and for awhile, even in God. I try to see the good in people, but am still extremely cautious, even with friends that I've had for 10+ years. My husband and I are starting to have the discussion on this. It will just be something that we will have to look at once he gets home.

Moonglow, thank you as well. Yes, I will be extremely excited to have him home! It's been a long 7 months, and we still have 7 to go! The denomination of the church, I can tell you, is Baptist. And when I attended (2 separate sundays), I have never felt so condemned in my life. It was like the minute I walked in, I was spawn of Satan who did not belong in a house of God.

Xel,

I do not read into anything that isn't already there. Maybe this subject is a little touchy, but with a husband overseas, and us just starting our lives together, it tends to be. However, I don't think you can tell me about how I feel or "how I'm approaching this situation". I have my own experiences with God, and with the church.

Instead of accusing me of approaching the situation wrong, maybe you should be asking me WHY I feel condemned. I don't feel that as a Christian, you are really reaching out to your fellow sister. Maybe this was the wrong place to come for "Christianly" advice.

I never said you were approaching the situation wrong. Take a look at what's been said. I'll give you an example. You came here because of the issue between you and your husband concerning which church you should attend. At one point I said:



Seems like Methodists could do with preaching a bit more fear and Baptists a bit more love.

A fairly general comment - one should not completely focus on grace, forsaking a healthy fear of God. Just as one should not completely focus on the fear of God, ignoring grace. The intent was simple: neither denomination has it completely right.

You replied with...


...I am already damned by some.

And Xel, though you should fear God as a parent, you should live with LOVE, and hope. I didn't fear my parents every second. Even when I did something wrong, I knew they would be mad, and I was scared. But I also knew they loved me.

When you witness to someone, do you tell them about how much they will fear God when they become a Christian? No, you tell them how Wonderful God is, and what miracles he has performed.

You replied by saying I was condemning you then proceeded to disagree with my comment, notice in favour of your beliefs.

Now I apologize if I'm young. If I'm brash. If I don't know how to talk to people in a civil manner and if I'm straight forward to the point of it hurting (I expect the same when people need to wring me out). But it seems to me there is a lot more going on than maybe even you realize.

As another illustration:


So focused on religion :no:
You want a Bible based church then you're going to have to be prepared to concede one thing: you may have wrong beliefs that need changing.

You never did address this comment, you simply pointed out how you feel your husbands church is doing things "not the best way":



Again, the church that my husband currently attends does not CONDONE rock music of any kind, including Christian Rock. Now because I am fortunate to have a musical side (15 years of flute, 18 years of piano), I get spiritual guidance a lot more through music. It's not that I don't enjoy reading the Word, but I relate to it easier through music. And I know that there's people out there just like me. The fact that his church is unwilling to utilize rock music to reach out to someone just absolutely appalls me. They also believe that you should have at least 4 kids. My husband right now does not even want to have kids, and with 4 dogs, I definitely don't want that many. They don't believe in birth control. Whereas I do. It's wonderful that God blesses others with children, but I do not want to have one unless I can fully commit myself to them.

So come on, let's cut this out. I'm not condemning you, I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm not saying you're handling things wrong. All I'm saying is take a second look, because you don't seem to be as willing to change as you're saying you are.

I never said you were approaching the situation wrong. Take a look at what's been said. I'll give you an example. You came here because of the issue between you and your husband concerning which church you should attend. At one point I said:



A fairly general comment - one should not completely focus on grace, forsaking a healthy fear of God. Just as one should not completely focus on the fear of God, ignoring grace. The intent was simple: neither denomination has it completely right.

You replied with...



You replied by saying I was condemning you then proceeded to disagree with my comment, notice in favour of your beliefs.

Now I apologize if I'm young. If I'm brash. If I don't know how to talk to people in a civil manner and if I'm straight forward to the point of it hurting (I expect the same when people need to wring me out). But it seems to me there is a lot more going on than maybe even you realize.

As another illustration:



You never did address this comment, you simply pointed out how you feel your husbands church is doing things "not the best way":



So come on, let's cut this out. I'm not condemning you, I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm not saying you're handling things wrong. All I'm saying is take a second look, because you don't seem to be as willing to change as you're saying you are.

Xel,

The reason I did not address the comment about me focusing on religion and conceding what I believe is because I thought the comment was absolutely ridiculous, and not worth my time. However, whilst you sit there, judging me because I "don't seem to be as willing to change as I say I am", you are not extending your hand of fellowship toward me either. "How can you take a speck of sawdust out of your brother's eye when all this time you have a great plank in your own?"

You told me that if I thought I was being condemned, then I needed to take a look at how I was approaching the situation. But whilst we are on the subject of your comment about focusing on religion, why would you tell me that I may need to concede my beliefs to find a Bible-based church, unless you don't think that Methodist churches are not "bible-based"?

I do agree that you need to think very clearly before you hit that "Submit Reply" button. Your responses do come off as judgemental, cocky, and slightly presumptous.

Let's make one thing clear: Just because I ask for advice does not give you permission to assume something about me. Remember, that while I give enough details about the situation, you do not necessarily know ALL that has gone on to reach said situation.

Some things, such as discussing differences in a marriage, should be handled with kid gloves, unless you either A) have experience being married, or B) have some kind of certification dealing with my situation.

While I do appreciate some of the responses to my posting, I think things have gone far enough on here, and would gladly appreciate one of the monitors to close this thread and let me know how to delete my account. I think I have overstayed my welcome here.

The reason I did not address the comment about me focusing on religion and conceding what I believe is because I thought the comment was absolutely ridiculous, and not worth my time. However, whilst you sit there, judging me because I "don't seem to be as willing to change as I say I am", you are not extending your hand of fellowship toward me. "How can you take a speck of sawdust out of your brother's eye when all this time you have a great plank in your own?"

You told me that if I thought I was being condemned, then I needed to take a look at how I was approaching the situation. But whilst we are on the subject of your comment about focusing on religion, why would you tell me that I may need to concede my beliefs to find a Bible-based church, unless you don't think that Methodist churches are "bible-based"?

I'm not judging anyone, perhaps we're talking past each other. Please review my comment, I never said you were to consider conceding your beliefs:



You want a Bible based church then you're going to have to be prepared to concede one thing: you may have wrong beliefs that need changing.

I said you are going to have to be prepared to concede that you may have wrong beliefs. The same goes for your husband, for me, for every poster on this site. None of us have "it" right and we shouldn't, for the majority of our beliefs, sit down and exclaim we've figured it out and sit there preaching dogma.

I apologize if my comments were more ambiguous than clear.

Hi again, you guys have moved on quite a bit without me.

One thing I saw was God speaking to us through music. While I accept that God can speak to us through any sense - I, personally, would have to say God speaks to us mainly through his Word/ the bible, followed by prayer.

However much you love music and are talented in this area - the church should be picked for it's bible reading, preaching and the fruit it produces in the congregation.

I attend services/ meetings that have lots of singing, just 1 or 2 and in some cases none at all! No service is superior or worse due to the amount of music.

Another thing I would say is why have you or your husband pick a church? Have you both tried praying and listening? As I've said I have no idea where I'll be next Sunday, but our Lord does and I can wait for him to send me.

I've said to a few people if you were in the UK, in East Sussex - I'd say lets link up and go somewhere together.

May I ask - and I am not being judgemental - are you reading the bible daily and praying for guidance? Daily bible reading is so important. Why?

I hear people saying God doesn't answer my prayers. Well as my pastor said last week, he won't unless you invite Jesus to the party!

I hear people say God isn't talking to me like he does to other Christians. Another pastor said, aren't they reading this - holding up a bible.

So many Christians have weird ideas and opinions of what God thinks is right, because they hear the bible on a Sunday and have 6 days with no Word of God! They read books about the bible. Books about famous Christians. Books by famous preachers. What's wrong with the bible itself! This is what I believe satan wants, people who find Jesus, to then be led into people/ preacher worship and human opinion rather than God's perfect Word, the bible.

I believe God can lead you and your husband to the right church/ churches? It may be one for a year or 10 years, then another denomination for 5 or 10 years. Trust our Lord to guide you and be in the bible daily and pray, so Jesus is at your party. :) SofTy.

Per the original posters request I am closing this thread.

Cloudwalker
Facilitator for Families in Christ.