Have you noticed how far the pendulum has swung the other way? A few decades ago, it was not only okay, but expected that the Mom stay home and be a Mom and housewife. Now, people act as though something is wrong with you if you don't have a big career. Now that we're in the midst of a down economy, and we have lost the value in our home, etc., etc., etc., and have no preparation for the future... I find my biggest regret being staying home all those years...what is wrong and what is right???

I honestly don't think one amswer fits all. I have quit working full time after my second child was born. I worked part time when she went to school. It has been a struggle financially and sometimes I wish I had continued to work full time to provide the basics. Bottom line, if you can afford to stay home and raise your children it is usually for the better.

Have you noticed how far the pendulum has swung the other way? A few decades ago, it was not only okay, but expected that the Mom stay home and be a Mom and housewife. Now, people act as though something is wrong with you if you don't have a big career. Now that we're in the midst of a down economy, and we have lost the value in our home, etc., etc., etc., and have no preparation for the future... I find my biggest regret being staying home all those years...what is wrong and what is right???

Well, honestly, I think you've bought into what our culture teaches: there's more value in material things than in relationships and family. Sure, it would be great if you had a nest egg, but you can't let that regret make you think that the time with your kids was wasted. That was probably a way more substantial investment than any financial investment you could've made. You did prepare for the future by investing in and giving your children time to be nurtured by their Mom, helping develop their character, teaching them your values that they can carry on in the future. Plus, if your children are older now...can't you go to work now to help put it in savings or something?

My wife is a stay at homer and I intend to keep it that way, it just takes more sacrifices. It means that we are choosing not to have all the american luxuries: big house, nice car, cable tv, etc. Why should women take on the curse specifically given to men.

I work from home in order to keep a strong home base and be with my children while also helping with bills and such. I can always have a career later. Besides, I tried the rat race and hated it. The extra money just isn't worth the extra stress and the time away from my kids. Sure I make a lot less money than I could, but I save a lot more too, so it's all good. And some things you just can't put a price on because they're priceless. :)

I think it's something that each family has to decide on. The pendulum has actually swung back and forth a few times, of course up until the 60's it was the norm for mom to stay home, then by the late 80's mom was expected to be super... holding down a successful career while fully caring for husband and kids. By the 90's there was a definite trend, mainly in christian circles, for mom to stay home, period, no excuses. Now there seems to be a balance, or maybe we're in mid pendulum swing. Mom's are finding more creative ways to contribute to the family income while still being there for their children (like you, Dani). I even know many non-christian moms who choose to quit their jobs to stay home.

The teacher of the mom's class I took at our church said it well.... work outside the home if you must to make ends meet, but not if you're just doing it to support a higher lifestyle.

I stayed home when our kids were little, doing occasional free lance art, though when they were that young it was hard to accomplish much and the pay never matched the hours I'd put into it. After a while I found myself spending the majority of my awake time glued to my computer putting together publications. I realized I really wasn't there for my kids even though I was home. That's what made me decide when the kids were both in school that I would take on part time jobs outside the home where I worked only while they were in school - that way the time I had at home could be spent being mom.

I'm still doing that, drop them off at school on my way to work then get home in time to pick them up. They're both teenagers now, but they still need mom around, maybe in some ways more so than when they were little.

While the "regular" job helps keep our finances stable, I'm building steam with my painting career, which of course is done at home... the art room is our family room (my husband and daughter are also artists), we watch movies and hang out as a family.

It's really about meeting reasonable financial needs without sacrificing important quality time with your family.

canvasjockey...you've touched on a sensitive subject! I was going to be an art major, until I decided it wasn't a practical way to make a living. I ended up with a secretarial science degree, wanting the hours but not realizing how badly I would hate the environment and confinement. Now I'm outdated because I haven't kept up with technology, but my Dh is self-employed and trying to avoid bankrupting. Health insurance is a MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR sore subject! My husband often says that it is not my place to bring the bread, but other times he resents me for not doing it...!?!?:confused Even though we are on the brink of Chapter 7, I have a 14 year old still at home and I know somehow that he needs me...but the finances need help, too...????????

Question is...HOW do you make it as an artist? I have long considered that as a liabillity, not an asset. For instance...NO aptitute for math. NONE, WHATSOEVER.

Inthestorm... I really do feel your pain! We've relied partly on self employment for years, and it would be scary to try to survive on it alone.

Art is a tough field to succeed in, and it might help you feel better to know that majoring in art isn't neccassary for a career. Most successful artists I know are mainly self taught, most art majors are either teaching or doing everything but art. If you develop some skill and find your niche market, you can usually bring in some income. If you want to talk art career ideas more, go ahead and PM me!

canvasjockey...you've touched on a sensitive subject! I was going to be an art major, until I decided it wasn't a practical way to make a living. I ended up with a secretarial science degree, wanting the hours but not realizing how badly I would hate the environment and confinement. Now I'm outdated because I haven't kept up with technology, but my Dh is self-employed and trying to avoid bankrupting. Health insurance is a MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR sore subject! My husband often says that it is not my place to bring the bread, but other times he resents me for not doing it...!?!?:confused Even though we are on the brink of Chapter 7, I have a 14 year old still at home and I know somehow that he needs me...but the finances need help, too...????????

Question is...HOW do you make it as an artist? I have long considered that as a liabillity, not an asset. For instance...NO aptitute for math. NONE, WHATSOEVER.

There is EBay and art buyers on there and also you may find a local place that sales art work on consignment...meaning they get something like 20% of your sale. They won't take your work though unless they feel they can sale it. I did sale one painting on Ebay once ..but a horribly low price because I am also terrible at math and should have set it to accept only a certain price while hoping for more, of course...

I am a stay at home mom too but there is nothing wrong with working while the kids are in school at something part time...or just doing ebay. I have heard of people making good monthly wages selling used clothes. They go to places like Good will or other second hand stores and look for name brand...they take pictures of each item and put it on ebay. Its alot of work though keeping track of all of that and then mailing it. :rolleyes: Some people are comfortable doing that but it would be too much for me. anyway just some ideas..

Tell your husband the bible says the wife is suppose to be the helper...and if it helps him by you working then why not? the Proverbs wife did literally everything...

Proverbs 31

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.


No one wants to lose their homes...I understand that. your daughter is plenty old enough to take care of herself while you work too..

God bless

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

I'd like to know about the laundry soap!

I actually was doing the EBay thing...going to thrift stores and garage sales, buying and marking up. I enjoyed it and had an organized system. It worked pretty well...until the economy fell. Now I can't sell a thing. In fact, I'm gathering up some of the stuff I bought to donate. Nobody will buy unless the price is next to nothing.:(

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

That's me; I consider that a normal life, and homeschool on top of it!
Lots of fulfillment and satisfaction in a job well done. :D

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

Yes, these are some of the ways that I make it profitable for me to stay home. Plus, if I were to put my three kids into daycare, it would eat up more money than I could make in our town. So, I do what I can at home to save money. We don't have cable television. Our internet we only have because it is paid for through our homeschool system that our local public school provides.

I make my own laundry soap (although not out of the soap from the bathroom, I use felsnaptha, Washing soda and Borax) which makes the soap only cost about 2 cents a load rather than the 64 cents a load that many of the laundry soaps cost.

I tried making homemade dishwasher detergent, but it left a filmy residue that my husband disliked so I stopped doing that.

At times, I take in an extra kid or two for daycare to help out a little bit. We don't go out to eat very often. Our vacations mostly consist of camping for the weekend...we rent rather than own, but you know, in these economic climate, I'm seeing this as a definite advantage.

Anyway, there are a lot of ways to cut costs and stay home. It just takes determination and a little extra work.

Well, honestly, I think you've bought into what our culture teaches: there's more value in material things than in relationships and family.

Very well said.
I am so very glad that I stayed home, and I am also thankful that the Lord has blessed our family with a good job and benefits for my husband. The value of relationships and family mean far more than anything else!

"That they may teach the young women to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, obedient to thier own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed."

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."

It is the duty of a man to be a provider and protecter and a woman to be a helpmeet and homemaker.

Call me old fashioned if you like but I personally think that once a woman has kids her place is at home with them carrying for them,providing early learning and forming their character at least until the kids start school,even then the Mom should be there when they come home, I've seen what happens to latchkey kids and it ain't good.
I think it's totally wrong that society is based around parents working,here in the UK we even have a Welfare benefit system that actually rewards the Mum for going out to work - Crazy ,it should reward the Mum for staying at home with her kids.
No mum should ever feel ashamed or inferior because she never had a career,what greater achievement is there than successfully bringing up a family in the true tradition as God intended.

God bless.
DanM.

It is such a huge 'privilege' these days for kids to have a mom at home especially in SA! Most families cannot afford one pay cheque so mom HAS to work. Which is a pity because the benefits of being there for your kids after school, being at sports matchs, being actively and constantly involved in your childs upbringing, is priceless and no pay cheque can buy back that precious time with your kids.
Ask any child if he wants mom home and they'll say...YES (though probably regret it later especially when the teens years roll on)! ;)

I think the teen years are the most important. My mom quit being there for me after school when I got into high school. Thats when I got into the most trouble ; and when your parents dont get home until after 6 and you are out of school at 2 - thats a lot of time to get into trouble. Not just that - but you start feeling like you are not an important part of the family anymore and your friends have more of an influence on the kids because they actually see them more often.

What ever works best for you and your family :) We're lucky we are stay at home Moms and I'm trying to enjoy my children because they grow up fast!

WWII was our kicker. all the women worked while men went to war and they never stopped working. Sadly when women work it takes so many jobs from men who need to supply money for their families. If now women worked that were married our economy would be soooo different.

WWII was our kicker. all the women worked while men went to war and they never stopped working. Sadly when women work it takes so many jobs from men who need to supply money for their families. If now women worked that were married our economy would be soooo different.

I'm sorry but I have to step in and say that it is wonderful that some of you blessed women can stay at home.

Some of us cannot and we should not be accused of taking the "jobs away for the men" Women supply for their families too!!

I truly believe that (Christian) moms...need to stay at home. I know that our economy downturn has caused a lot of Christian families to have both parents not working...and possibly...only mom working...due to dad's lost job. Our children need their mothers for support, love, encouragement...and just safety. Moms...truly play a special role in their childrens' lives! Being home...when their children get home from school...or home schooling your children. The more we're able to put into our children...the better chance (by God's grace) our children will walk with their Almighty God. We NEED to be different from our world...in ALL things!! Praise Him for strength in this matter!

I truly believe that (Christian) moms...need to stay at home. I know that our economy downturn has caused a lot of Christian families to have both parents not working...and possibly...only mom working...due to dad's lost job. Our children need their mothers for support, love, encouragement...and just safety. Moms...truly play a special role in their childrens' lives! Being home...when their children get home from school...or home schooling your children. The more we're able to put into our children...the better chance (by God's grace) our children will walk with their Almighty God. We NEED to be different from our world...in ALL things!! Praise Him for strength in this matter!

Everyone is welcome to their own beliefs but lets not criticized those of us who do not share in them, not that you did.

In all reality it would be best if both parents were working together in a home based business that includes the children. But not everyone can do that either, nor do they believe that is best. Mary Prides' book "All the Way Home" describes this type of situation. I've known couples who have been very successful in this type of endeavor

Have you noticed how far the pendulum has swung the other way? A few decades ago, it was not only okay, but expected that the Mom stay home and be a Mom and housewife. Now, people act as though something is wrong with you if you don't have a big career. Now that we're in the midst of a down economy, and we have lost the value in our home, etc., etc., etc., and have no preparation for the future... I find my biggest regret being staying home all those years...what is wrong and what is right???


Don't you dare have a regret. You did what God asked you to do and what was good and right for your children. I am a stay at home mom, and even though society does put pressure on us to 'have it all' (careers/mom/wife), most of my working friends are insanely jealous of me. They realize now they shoudn't have sacrificed their families to achieve this false view of the American dream. The bible tells us in Titus 2 that the women should be homemakers, first to take care of the family, and second, to keep the Word of God from being blasphemed. Why is that important? Because when we step out of the bounds that God has set for us, we cast doubt on His Word.

Don't you dare have a regret. You did what God asked you to do and what was good and right for your children. I am a stay at home mom, and even though society does put pressure on us to 'have it all' (careers/mom/wife), most of my working friends are insanely jealous of me. They realize now they shoudn't have sacrificed their families to achieve this false view of the American dream. The bible tells us in Titus 2 that the women should be homemakers, first to take care of the family, and second, to keep the Word of God from being blasphemed. Why is that important? Because when we step out of the bounds that God has set for us, we cast doubt on His Word.

So I should quit my job now so not to blaspheme Jesus?

Titus 2:5 (second part) "being in subjection to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed"

I think it was talking about being subject to our husbands. But that is a whole different topic.

I do agree with not having regrets for staying home with your children...don't get me wrong. It is indead a wonderful calling and privilege and I do not blame your friends for being jealous.

Just don't throw the "working outside the home" Mom/wife into the category of blasphemers, please.

I'm sorry but I have to step in and say that it is wonderful that some of you blessed women can stay at home.

Some of us cannot and we should not be accused of taking the "jobs away for the men" Women supply for their families too!!

re read the post. I said that because of WWII our society changed and women stayed at work taking away the jobs of men who need them. If women didn't go to work during that era there wouldn't be the need for moms to work now, but honestly, yes I feel women who do not stay at home as the Bible says will not have blessings, will take away work form the men whom God tells to work lest they not eat, and will rob their children of the thing they need most- The mom who is supposed to teach and care for them.
sorry you are in this situation, it stinks I am sure. I know people who have nothing and still mom stays home...out of obedience to God. But the husband has to be there first.

Mod. Hat on.

I realize that this can be a touchy subject. Let's just remember that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ here. We can disagree with someone without getting heated. Several of these posts are getting very close to being to hot. Let's tone it down and discuss this calmly.

Cloudwalker
Facilitator for Families in Christ.

Hmmm. Actually if you check your history it was prior to WWII. Its more like the industrial revolution - late 1800 - early 1900's.

Women always worked outside the home. SURE there were times in which the children participated in that as well. There were times in which the kids didn't go to school in order to help FEED their families - they worked as well. Times have changed and the look of the working mother has also. If we want to bring history into it we need to make sure we are accurate. ;)

We are very privileged in some parts of the world, and starving is a very REAL reality for some that don't work. Heck within our own country there are times in which that is needed. Saying their children aren't blessed due to this? No offense, but that is just plain mean spirited. There are times in which jobs are offered with her gift and not his. You have single parents due to death of their spouse like my brother. If we are to use blanket statements like children are not blessed due to working mothers? They had no mother, and that would make them NOT blessed as well? Hardly. Moms can be a blessing no doubt there, but having ONE doesn't give you that automatic versus not having one gives you nothing. God works in all kinds of ways. Hasn't he proven that to you yet? :pray:

There are parents that are going to blessings to their children no matter WHAT the circumstance are! Opinions can't take that away! Children need a stable and healthy environment in which to thrive, and saying only one type of definition fits the bill? You are minimizing what God can do!

My brother got remarried 13 years after the death of his wife. She is a blessing to his family, and those children aren't 'not blessed' when she wasn't around! :idea: You can't have it both ways, and say circumstances like his don't count. I mean two are adults, and he has one left in childhood. My nephew is serving his country, and the other has a career. We are proud of both. The youngest is a typical kid, and we love him to death! Amazing kids that had to endure 'childcare' :o actually made it out alive and well! LOL! :lol: Guess what else? They don't look to those that cared for them after school as 'parent like' either! :rofl: I'm sorry but those stereotypes crack me up!

What works for one family may not work for all. Custom plans do work and thrive believe it or not! :pp That makes the world go round at times - custom deals! At times shows how God can work 'outside the box' as well! :D We don't need to pigeon hole everything. Life happens and it doesn't always fit! God works in mysterious ways at times! :D

i would give anything to be able to stay home with my daughter but God has not opened that door yet for our family. i will continue to pray for it though & until then i have to believe it is His will that i am working right now. every morning when i leave my daughter i am tormented & would give anything to stay with her, even if it was just for 2 or 3 days a week.

but honestly, yes I feel women who do not stay at home as the Bible says will not have blessings,wow, really? that statement is so judgemental i'm not even really sure how to address it...?

I would love to stay at home with our kids and my hubby and I are trying to work toward this now. We are helping to financially suppor my parents and my sister and her 3 kids though, so it is difficult and not near close to fruition.

I will tell a little story though---my neighbor at one point was a SAHM of 5 and she homeschooled. To help out she offered to watch my kids. She was a pastor's wife and so nice. My kids stayed with her, my youngest all day and my oldest after school, for a year until they moved. She told me once that she had watched kids in the past, and usually kids whose moms worked were unruly and had few manners. She said mine were so well behaved she could hardly beleive I had never stayed at home with them. I think it can be done, but it is exhausting. I will be honest, the older I get the more I think men are wired to handle the rat race and women are wired to handle the homestead. My head is not wired to handle the rat race and handling the homestead for much longer. Kudos to you women who can handle it.

I have done both - worked outside the home while raising our older 2 children and staying home after we adopted the younger children. Circumstances were different in each situation so I cannot say one is better than the other. Where I am currently - age and walk - staying home is far better and I love being home taking care of my grandson now.

I do not see anywhere scripturally that a woman working outside the home loses out on blessings from God. I always look at the Proverbs 31 woman who did work - she had her own businesses, she purchased land, she had servants, so you know she had help with her children, she stayed busy all the time....but she served our God....and how does her family feel? Proverbs 31: 28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29) Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."

I also have done both at different times depending on our economic situation. My part time jobs made it possible for me to be home when the kids got home from school. However, when I worked on a church staff most of Sunday morning was taken up and some evenings not to mention part time days during the week. I think this was the hardest time of all since I missed out on what could have been more family time. Fortunately I had an understanding husband who took this in his stride; but sometimes our comings and goings were not too conducive to our family time together. I can't..but if I could I might do those years differently. Also I spent a lot of hours volunteering in community and Christian organizations as well as in church..too many. Now I have learned how to say "no" when needed and when to say "yes" when I am assured it is the next right thing to do..

I am now retired and actually have more time but not the same amount of energy. I enjoy being a stay at home mom now a lot even though there are no young children here except when our grand children come to spend the night or visit. We also have kitty cats (who need tlc). And it is good to be available to attend our grand children's many school, church, and other activities where grand parents are encouraged to come.

I believe in Prov 31. But she took care of her household with her household. She didn't work outside the home as a career. She worked in a family situation. That is historical. and yes there are blessings lost because situations where a mother can not stay home. It was not judgemental. it is just a sad truth. death is a different circumstance and single parents each have their own story. We all do what we have to do, but many of us justify what we do because we are doing it.

It's really about meeting reasonable financial needs without sacrificing important quality time with your family.

i think that this statement says it all. i work but in my opinion it's hardly what one could call a career. i work because the finances require it. and thank heavens i do - with hubby out of work right now.
for the time being i am at work 48-56 hours a week. it's definitely a sacrafice, but hubby is home with my son, so there is always someone around. i definitely can't wait till hubby is working again and i can cut back on the hours. we always want one of us to be accessible at all times. no matter what we go through.

I believe in Prov 31. But she took care of her household with her household. She didn't work outside the home as a career. She worked in a family situation. That is historical. and yes there are blessings lost because situations where a mother can not stay home. It was not judgemental. it is just a sad truth. death is a different circumstance and single parents each have their own story. We all do what we have to do, but many of us justify what we do because we are doing it.i think this is entirely debateable. taking care of her household was one of her many duties..at the very least she was also involoved in property management & commerce.

nowhere in the Bible does it mandate that women need to stay home or we will miss out on blessings.

and for the record, i believe in Proverbs 31 as well.

PrayerInMemphis: I agree with you.

Proverbs 31 woman was just a well organized asset for the family in simplistic terms! Its an awesome goal to always strive for! I can certainly see why her husband loves her, and that her family feels cared for.

Men, Women and children have been working since time began. There are alot of places on this earth that do not have the luxury of that NOT being a reality. All you have to do is go on mission trips to see that. It was the same way in the time of Jesus as well.

Are their families that could do things to make a stay at home mom/wife happen and don't? No doubt! There are also many families that are that have stay at home that aren't good stewards of their position as well. You can't tell me they are handed automatic blessings at that point.

There are tons of different situations. To pigeonhole things in regards to who has more blessings like that? There is nothing in scripture to back it up, so it seems it is more opinion than anything. You feel it applies to your life? That is totally fine! You don't need to apply your standards to others, especially when you realize it makes them feel bad. I don't think handing others guilt trips over something they may not have any control over is what Christ would call us to do personally. What would be the purpose? I mean people could see that as lack of humility, and I'm certain that wasn't your purpose. God gives blessings to those that love him, and follow the life he wishes for them. He isn't one to pigeon hole quite so easy! He does awesome out of the box all the time! :rolleyes:

Titus 2
4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I will go back to Titus 2 and see that this is a direction to women. How can you be a keeper of the home and work outside of it? I believe the Prov woman worked from her home and kept her household, but it shows over and over her household was first and she had many servants (which I am not sure any of us here have).

I found this quote by John MacArthur that I guess says what I was trying to say not so eloquently


Obviously, a single woman would be free to work and pursue outside employment. A married woman with no children is perhaps a little more restricted in the amount of time and energy she can devote to an outside job. A woman who is a mother obviously has primary responsibility in the home and would therefore not be free to pursue outside employment to the detriment of the home. In fact, from a parental perspective it is difficult to see how a mother could possibly do all that needs to be done in the home with the upbringing of children, hospitality, care of the needy, and work for the Lord (cf. 1 Timothy 5:3-14) and still work in an outside job.

John MacArthur has his opinions also. Doesn't mean it hasn't been done for years very successfully. He says she doesn't know how she would do it, and yet there are many families that do this with no detriment to their family. It seems some feel that impossible, but clearly it ISN'T!

I don't have an issue with stay at home people at all. Proverbs 31 woman did have help, and from what I have read even in the time that this was written most families didn't have the help she speaks of. She used her resources very wisely, and was an excellent Stewart towards her family, etc. No doubt she WOWS people even then! It wasn't what she did - it was WHY and HOW she did it. She did those things for family, and to be a servant of the Lord.

We aren't restricted on how to accomplish that like a one way street! :idea:

Goodness there are so many types of families, and different routines, etc. To be the keeper of the home doesn't have to be a ONLY one way to do that! Its the spirit of what that means, why, etc. Look around the world, and NOT just in our country but others! Women find creative ways to be that keeper of the home, and gives of herself for her family everyday. It doesn't look like it does here, and yet she and her family are blessed. People do things to serve their family, and be a good servant of the Lord.

When you close yourself off to NOT see how people do this as you cross the globe? You are missing some awesome examples! GOD IS ABLE!

Where would our world be if people didn't color outside the lines? Think it about it for a minute!

I have some cousins that were all born in different countries from a missionaries family. My Aunt served her family, her husband's work, worked with the communities she lived with, etc. She colored outside the lines, and she has many blessings...as do her family members! She didn't follow your formula or John MacArthur's formula, and yet people are just in awe of what they accomplished. She was the keeper of her home, but she did it differently than most. SHE worked at all kinds of things, and helped in all kinds of areas. Societies are built differently, and she at times had to give income in. She followed the path the Lord told her to, and she didn't miss anything because at times he told to help in areas people seem to have such issues with.

It amazes me the closed, narrow paths that people have and can't see past. People do it different all over the globe, and we might learn a thing or two by watching them!

The Keeper of the Home looks different to different families. Their success and Glory they bring the Lord should show that. Why people can't see that? :hmm: I just don't understand that either. The world wouldn't be what it is today without those that color outside the lines. I personally find it refreshing and exciting to watch! :D

GO GIRLS! :pp:pp:pp

Titus 2
4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I will go back to Titus 2 and see that this is a direction to women. How can you be a keeper of the home and work outside of it? I believe the Prov woman worked from her home and kept her household, but it shows over and over her household was first and she had many servants (which I am not sure any of us here have).

I found this quote by John MacArthur that I guess says what I was trying to say not so eloquently
ahh...i was waiting for someone to reference that verse. You forgot to mention 1 Tim 5:14 though.

these verses state that it is ultimately the woman's responsibility to manage her home but they do not state that it is our only responsibility and if they did, they would be in contradiction to Prov 31. there is not a working mother i know (myself included) whose home is not her top priority. and just to address the rest of that verse, shall i disobey my husband by giving up my job? because it is his decision ultimately that i work & i trust him when he tells me that our family needs my income.

you asked how can you be a keeper of the home & work outside of it? the same way Prov 31 woman did--delegation & multi-tasking.

the Prov 31 woman had a houseful of servants that she delegated to. why would she need a household full of servants if she did all of her household chores herself? i can only assume she had to delegate because she was out planting a vineyard in her newly aquired field or selling her belts to the local tradesmen.

Prov 31 woman sees that her trading is profitable. she also gets up early & brings her food from afar. how does she accomplish these things in addition to managing her home? because her lamp does not go out at night. in addition to delegating, she works hard while she is at home, which--the verse seems to infer--is at night.

again i will state that NOWHERE does the bible prohibit women from working outside the home. i will also state that i wish i could be a stay-at-home mom but in today's society that seems to be a luxury with the tax rate at 40% and rising. john mcarthur is entitled to his opinion but with all due respect, i'll stick to the word of God.

Great posts, hdt and PrayerInMemphis :D!


Proverbs 31
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
Importing exotic products, having earnings and profitable at trading sound a lot like a job to me - and while she didn't have an "office" she couldn't do all that from home.

Today there are so many options, that's why a simple blanket answer of it is/isn't good to work outside of home falls short. The trick is in choosing the right situation with the families all around needs ultimately coming first.

I know mom's who were able to switch to telecommuting from home after starting a family, including my sister in law. I personally have worked from home in the past, and now my current job is part time while the kids are at school... when the school bell rings I'm there to pick them up and take them home where I can hear all about their day and help them with homework (as best I can, though I'm useless at math, lol). I do hope to leave my job completely soon, a day I'm looking forward to.

They say 69% of married women are stay at home moms.

They say 69% of married women are stay at home moms.
who's 'they'?
i would be curious to see your source for this claim.

To each her own. :) Some women are naturally very nurturing, very family-oriented, like being home caring for babies and small children and take pride in their work in their house such as the cleaning and cooking. Other women, like myself, are not very interested in children and wouldn't enjoy being stuck in a house all day with laundry to do and meals to cook; we get our pride from other accomplishments and have different interests and hopes for our futures. I don't think there is any right way for a woman to be. It depends on the family situation, what her partner thinks, economics, the needs she would be meeting if she chose to stay home, potential career and pay and so on. I think it benefits very small children to have a consistent caretaker at home, whether mom or dad, or even a reliable nanny or sitter, and if one parent can stay home even part time it cuts down on child care expenses and can go a long way towards furthering a child's education and bonding with the family. However, I don't think every woman is suited to be a stay-at-home mom, or even to be a mom at all, and it's probably a decision best explored by the couple before marriage and childbirth, if possible.

I'm a pretty liberal thinker, and definitely lean feminist. Women should be allowed to work and make just as much as men (equal work, equal pay).

I will fight for any and every woman's right to do that.

However - for *me* I do not wish to work outside my home even now, and I have no children. I recently took time off to get my life (health, physical and mental) in order. I plan to spend the next 6 months trying to put my life back together and that means staying home. If I ever do have children (I may not be able to), I plan on staying home with them. As a child I was always happier when my mother was home, but she was/is a workaholic and by my teenage years held three jobs while my father was on the road as a truck driver (gone 1-2 weeks at a time). I spent a lot of my teen years alone. I didn't get in trouble, but I was alone a lot, and I didn't like it. I hated not having family dinners (and I insist on them now with my fiance).

So - Should women stay home? That's their choice. I'm choosing to stay home.

To be in complete subjection to my husband, I work outside the home.

So what say you to that? My husband desires it and I "obey" him.

They say 69% of married women are stay at home moms.

Firstly, where did you obtain that statistic, and is there an article that accompanies it? If so I'd like to read it.

Secondly, I don't doubt that 69% of married women are stay at home moms for a short period of time following pregnancy and/or when their children are still very young. It seems fairly common for women to take off the first few months after delivering a baby, or even to drop out of the workforce for a couple of years in order to be home, involved with the child's upbringing, education and care. However, that's a temporary state at best, maybe lasting as long as 4-5 years so that moms can be home with the children until they enter into the school system. However, I think the numbers are much, much smaller when referring to women who spend half or the majority of their married, working-eligible years (18 - 65 or so) as housewives and homemakers. And even those moms sometimes work part-time or contribute meaningfully to the community outside the home such as by being on planning committees, volunteering or being involved in work at church.

Thirdly, I think the truth of that statistic depends on what kind of women were surveyed and/or which age groups were included. Obviously, if it's across the spectrum answers will come from a lot of retirees - who by definition are no longer involved in the work force - and older people who work part-time to supplement their income but are not employed full time and who may consider themselves mostly homemakers and who spend a large portion of an average day caring for the home or grandchildren. It'll also include information about the lifestyles elderly adults lived during their child-bearing years, and those who married in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and even later commonly were housewives and homemakers. However, I think if the poll surveyed married women 18 - 65 now, and did not include information from adults over 65, it would reflect a very different trend. I would estimate that far fewer women than the survey recorded are exclusively homemakers (without part-time or shared-time jobs outside the home) and intend to be homemakers all of their lives, even after the children enter school. I would be interested in seeing other statistics if people have them, because I haven't done a survey, that's just my guess.