Greetings saints. I've been a follower of Christ since 1987, but I'm new to this site. Sorry my first entry is so blunt & personal, but I really need your prayers, if you would.

Yesterday I blew my testimony. I am sick at heart about it. My wife caught me smoking a cigarette and became very angry & disappointed. Yes, I did it deceitfully, behind her back. She quite understandably questioned what ELSE I was doing contrary to my "supposed" beliefs. Well, nothing actually- by the grace of God- but she won't believe that now. Accusations ensued, and my flesh got the better of me. Angry hurtful words were exchanged. The worst was when she said "So the bible doesn't work then, huh??" and that she wants nothing more to do with it. We'd already been having other familial problems of late (grown children & their spouses), and it seems most of those are likely a result of my disobedience (or maybe the other way around?) In any case, I got complacent and allowed a "little" sin to get a toe hold, and then wound up speaking rashly to my wife. Beloved, I fell right in to it and before I knew what hit me, my family life is now a wreck. What is so sad is that in the months prior I had been soaring with the Lord, really for the first time in my Christian life. I must also tell you, at one point last night a thought came to my mind that asked "So what do you think of your bible NOW??" Beloved, I guess I forgot this is no game we're playing. This is warfare, and our enemy is as real as our Father is. I humbly request for your prayer support at this difficult time. Also that I might regain my testimony. I feel ashamed that I've brought reproach on the name of the Lord Jesus and his excellent word.

Please know that I have confessed and repented but my concern now is the reprecussions. How can I persuade my lost loved ones that Jesus and his word are the Truth and answer to all of lifes questions, if they see me as nothing more than a hypocryte??

In closing, may God bless you all for your prayers and any encouragments you might offer.

Your brother in Christ, KAA09

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u298/hogndog/corsses2.jpg

Repent of your sin first of all then turn around hug your wife buy her some flowers and go about your business. Worry about it all you want that's your prerogative, but why when you stand forgiven before a just righteous and forgiving God.


Jude

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u298/hogndog/corsses2.jpg

Repent of your sin first of all then turn around hug your wife buy her some flowers and go about your business. Worry about it all you want that's your prerogative, but why when you stand forgiven before a just righteous and forgiving God.


Jude




Thank you Jude. I appreciate your response very much. As I said in my post, I have indeed repented, hence as it is written He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And you're right of course. The christian's occasion of stumbling cannot be construed by triflers as any kind of justification to reject the gospel of Christ, or to justify the ongoing lifestyle of sin. That simply will not hold up in Gods court. You know, I've prayed a lot about this situation and the Lord is so gracious, praise His name. I've been in the garden long enough to know that as soon as a believer falls, out come the daggers. I would ask however that you take a moment and pray for the salvation of my two 20 something sons and their wives. I'll also sent one up for you. Thanks again.

Thank you Jude. I appreciate your response very much. As I said in my post, I have indeed repented, hence as it is written He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And you're right of course. The christian's occasion of stumbling cannot be construed by triflers as any kind of justification to reject the gospel of Christ, or to justify the ongoing lifestyle of sin. That simply will not hold up in Gods court. You know, I've prayed a lot about this situation and the Lord is so gracious, praise His name. I've been in the garden long enough to know that as soon as a believer falls, out come the daggers. I would ask however that you take a moment and pray for the salvation of my two 20 something sons and their wives. I'll also sent one up for you. Thanks again.

And pray I shall mate!

the pervasive sin nature of mankind will be a obstacle until the trump sounds or your deceased , we all have this problem in common each and every Christians has this . However we must choose to fruit sin or not , :( I many times in my walk have made mistakes and felt horrendously like a failure because I was not perfect and sin free , I had a real battle with it still do to some degree . what I started doing different was ,I stopped making what only the Holy Spirit can effectively do in me , My Job and when I did things got better :pp

I still have repercussions where others are more down on me than up though , :( It is amazing to discover who your real friends are when you want to linch your own self :D because your not perfected in overcoming that pervasive sin nature Paul spoke about :help:

My pastor says that Jesus erases our footsteps so that the devil can't even find where we've been, once we've repented of our sin of course. I am guessing, but I believe this scripture supports that statement. Colossians 2:14 -- "Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;"

Humans have sinned. Sin separates us from God and brings on eternal death. Jesus went to the cross to pay the debt for our sins. Accepting Jesus as our saviour washes away our sins and gives us eternal life.

Paul said he had to crucify the flesh daily. (See 1 Corinthians 15:31). How are we any different? Maybe you did damage your testimony, maybe you didn't. You've repented and that is what matters. I'm not dismissing the testimony thing, but I want to point out that you are still building your testimony. Admit you were wrong, apologize if you feel you have offended and keep growing closer to the Lord. None of us are so close to the Lord that we can't get any closer. There is always room to grow and strengthen in the Lord. That's where you build your testimony. Look at David in the Bible. He sinned in different instances, but he always repented of his sin. He was truly a man after God's heart. That's what God expects of us -- not saying to willfully sin, but when you slip, repent and do better next time. When those same people see you grow from this, they will know God is the reason for your growth. We serve a wonderful God whose salvation plan is made possible because of HIS mercy and grace, not condemnation or judgement from those around us.

:pp I had never known that or read that before Twin 2 , God Bless u for that awesome word and scripture , u know I was just actually been depressed as to why I could seemingly not find a answer to a question and wow
there it is , :pp God is awesome and available to help us when we need it through others :)

I'm not standing in your shoes & I don't know all the details but I will add my .02

If couple's could learn to say some simple words like, 'Honey I was wrong, please forgive me' or 'I am sorry' things would go a whole lot better.

Welcome................

I am a pastor and I completely lost it one day and threatened someone that had been coming to my church with great bodily harm. While I did mess things up with him, others became encouraged, because they realized that even pastors aren't perfect. I apologized to everyone present and to my whole church. Everybody understood why I did what I did and most of the responses were simply "I was just glad to know that I am not the only one that struggles with things like that."

While it is certainly no justification OR rationalization for losing my temper, it was a comfort. Sometimes it would do us some good to let others see our struggles and our need for Christ instead of always trying to "act" perfect.





For those of you that are shocked and horrified that a pastor would do something like that, let me fill you in...

A 19 year old gangbanger got into a argument with a man that had just spent 25 years in prison on the church bus one day. It became increasingly loud until I heard "I am going to stab you (insert expletive)." As I whirled around in my seat, the 19 year old was getting ready to push the button on an automatic knife.

I don't know if anyone here has ever had the pleasure, but disarming a man in a vehicle is about as much fun as getting into a gunfight in a phone booth. It opened right as I grabbed it, injuring my hand before I tossed it out of the bus.

My head of security jerked open the bus door and pulled the ex-con out (he was getting ready to kill the 19 yo.) We were trying to calm down the ex-con and explaining that we pulled him off so we could get the 19 yo off of the bus when I hear more shouting. As I turned and looked, the 19 yo had started another fight with someone that was a convicted murderer. I pulled that guy out of the van and tried to calm him down. (Both men were between the 19 yo and the bus door).

As I get the second man calm and my head of security was still working with the first guy, the 19 yo starts again, except this time with the rest of the passengers on the bus. They were literally jumping across the seats to get at the 19 yo.

I lost it at this point. I jerked the bus door open, and in my best drill sergeant voice, I told him to "Shut up!". I went on to tell him in graphic detail what was going to happen if he opened up his mouth again and that the two guys outside the bus were going to be the least of his worries. A silence fell over the entire bus. I knew that I had screwed up.

All in all, most everything worked out. We got the dumb kid off the bus and the other guys back on the bus. It was the quietest ride home I had ever had.

Elijah's Mantle -- I'm glad you were encouraged. That's the nice thing about discussing the word... God said it would never return to him void. Praise the Lord.

I'm not standing in your shoes & I don't know all the details but I will add my .02

If couple's could learn to say some simple words like, 'Honey I was wrong, please forgive me' or 'I am sorry' things would go a whole lot better.


Brother, you are so right. This is vital if a marriage (or any other relationship really) is to survive and grow. I would go further however. After confessing to one another, one other thing is needful-- or nothing will really change. That being forgiveness. If we can't (or won't) forgive our spouse/parent/son/daughter/etc (as God forgave us) a root of bitterness will remain and at some later date satan will use that simmering resentment to drive a wedge between loved ones time and time again. I have seen people overcome sundry bad [physical] habits, but it seems holding on to past wrongs is a sin that is particullarly guarded, and yet one of the most damaging.

Greetings saints. I've been a follower of Christ since 1987, but I'm new to this site.

Yesterday I blew my testimony. I am sick at heart about it. My wife caught me smoking a cigarette and became very angry & disappointed. Yes, I did it deceitfully, behind her back. She quite understandably questioned what ELSE I was doing contrary to my "supposed" beliefs. Well, nothing actually- by the grace of God- but she won't believe that now.
Your brother in Christ, KAA09
So, we assume your wife is not a Christian? If so, then you are unequally yoked and these things are going to happen. She is looking at it the worldly manner and you are looking at it in a Christian manner. It's a hard thing, living unequally yoked.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Her salvation is in the Lord's hands in the end. Ask the Lord to help repair any damage done. Dust yourself off, get back on track and let her be won by your godly life. :)

Being perfect people with perfect behavior isn't our testimony.

Our testimony is that of our faith in a Savior who can reach into our sinfulness, love us anyway, lead us and guide us after He has brought us to Himself and from death into life, and keep us from stumbling blindly back into the darkness.

That is our testimony. The rest is just behavior modification that puts the credit and spotlight on ourselves rather than God. Our testimony is that we love God now and that He enables us to love other people in ways we couldn't (and/or wouldn't) before our eyes were opened. And that Jesus is alive and raised from the dead and able to save people from sin and from themselves.

Obviously, your sin wasn't the smoking, but the being sneaky about a promise you made to your wife (if that's what you did) to quit. It's not what goes into our mouths that defiles us but what comes out, no? And we should be people of our word as much as it is within our ability. It's better not to vow than to vow and not pay. :)

But God requires humility as creatures before the Creator. And so when we apologize for mis-steps and ask forgiveness and remain humble in situations when we think we've "blown it" or "got caught" then our testimony remains very much intact. Because Christ died for sinners of which I am chief. Which doesn't give us license, but it does give us assurance of grace always available to help us continue to walk and grow and learn. :hug:

^^Yeah, what Dani said. Wise words.

What I got from your post is that everyone stumbles, everyone falls sometimes. None of us are perfect yet. I can't see how relapsing on a bad habit means you have blown your testimony at all...it's just proven that you are human in case there were any doubts. ;) You repented, God has forgiven you for speaking harshly with your wife and maybe you'll be even stronger now in the future.

How you respond to your "backsliding" can be a better testimony than any you have had in the past.

Everyone must know that being Christians does not make any of us perfect. There has only ever been one perfect man in this world. I am convinced that how we respond to our sins is by far the best testimony we can give.

Prayers for you and your wife.

Greetings saints. I've been a follower of Christ since 1987, but I'm new to this site. Sorry my first entry is so blunt & personal, but I really need your prayers, if you would.

Yesterday I blew my testimony. I am sick at heart about it. My wife caught me smoking a cigarette and became very angry & disappointed. Yes, I did it deceitfully, behind her back. She quite understandably questioned what ELSE I was doing contrary to my "supposed" beliefs. Well, nothing actually- by the grace of God- but she won't believe that now. Accusations ensued, and my flesh got the better of me. Angry hurtful words were exchanged. The worst was when she said "So the bible doesn't work then, huh??" and that she wants nothing more to do with it. We'd already been having other familial problems of late (grown children & their spouses), and it seems most of those are likely a result of my disobedience (or maybe the other way around?) In any case, I got complacent and allowed a "little" sin to get a toe hold, and then wound up speaking rashly to my wife. Beloved, I fell right in to it and before I knew what hit me, my family life is now a wreck. What is so sad is that in the months prior I had been soaring with the Lord, really for the first time in my Christian life. I must also tell you, at one point last night a thought came to my mind that asked "So what do you think of your bible NOW??" Beloved, I guess I forgot this is no game we're playing. This is warfare, and our enemy is as real as our Father is. I humbly request for your prayer support at this difficult time. Also that I might regain my testimony. I feel ashamed that I've brought reproach on the name of the Lord Jesus and his excellent word.

Please know that I have confessed and repented but my concern now is the reprecussions. How can I persuade my lost loved ones that Jesus and his word are the Truth and answer to all of lifes questions, if they see me as nothing more than a hypocryte??

In closing, may God bless you all for your prayers and any encouragments you might offer.

Your brother in Christ, KAA09
At one point in my Christian walk, I smoked pot and drank heavily for a few years and my family knew it. I even did it in front of them, but I have been clean now for nearly a decade. I still smoke cigarettes. I still feel I blew my testimony BIG time and my credibility is down the toilet, I feel horrible about it because before that I never did and wanted to be the "perfect" Christian. So I can understand what you're going through. I believe we should leave witnessing to family members to others because they know us too well. Mark 6:4 below verifies this:

"But Jesus, said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house."

Interesting that you heard an accusation in the third person ("so what do you think of your bible now...") I'm sure you don't regularly think in the third person, so something slipped up to let that one through.

I know how horrendous a struggle it is sometimes, and that any one of us (every one of us) can slip and fall if we don't walk with Him. It happens to all of us, I'm afraid. I'd simply say, keep praying, repenting, following, believing... God will work out the details.