thik about being intimate with your wife when you're away from home. The only work I could find lately involved being away from home for the last two months - driving a truck. Lately, I find my mind drifting to being intimate with her. Not just sex (but yeah that too) but just being home. Walking and holding hands. Sleeping in the same bed again. Is this lust? It doesn't feel wrong. What do you boys think?

Ermm...Why would it be? You and her are as one...You are her's and she is yours. It's only natural to think about your wife. As long as it's her you think about, I see no issue whatsoever.

Ermm...Why would it be? You and her are as one...You are her's and she is yours. It's only natural to think about your wife. As long as it's her you think about, I see no issue whatsoever.

:agree: 15 characters

Ermm...Why would it be? You and her are as one...You are her's and she is yours. It's only natural to think about your wife. As long as it's her you think about, I see no issue whatsoever.Well as I said, I'm incline to agree with you. Just wanted some opinion is all. My worry is regarding the sin of lust and what that actually entails. I recently read one of those arguments saying that it is the act of lust not masturbation, which is sinful about the act of masturbation. Now believe me I'm not trying to start another thread about masturbation, but It started me wondering about what is actually to be considered lustful i.e. thinking about being intimate with your wife. I started to debate myself if masturbation would still be considered sinful if it was your wife about whom you fantasized during the act and felt convicted that it would still be. So I started to wonder then, if the act of lust and the act of masturbation were indeed separable then is fantasizing about your wife alone also convictable?

Probably just thinking too much. Thanks

As far as I can tell, the only way for you to lust after your wife in a sinful way is to put her above God. Me thinks you are in the clear.;)

thik about being intimate with your wife when you're away from home. The only work I could find lately involved being away from home for the last two months - driving a truck. Lately, I find my mind drifting to being intimate with her. Not just sex (but yeah that too) but just being home. Walking and holding hands. Sleeping in the same bed again. Is this lust? It doesn't feel wrong. What do you boys think?

I think you are fine. If you do these things (but yeah that too), like walking and holding hands, sleeping in the same bed, and tell her that yo were thinking about doing these things, you will be making deposits in a lifetime trust that will yield great dividends.

Is it wrong to lust after your wife, period? I dunno if you'd even call it lust. Sexual desire directed towards your wife is, imo, totally fine, whether she is there or not.

As far as I can tell from Scripture lust is coveting what does not belong to you. Your wife and you are one flesh, and you both belong to God so I don't see a problem with any of it.

I think you are fine. If you do these things (but yeah that too), like walking and holding hands, sleeping in the same bed, and tell her that yo were thinking about doing these things, you will be making deposits in a lifetime trust that will yield great dividends.
I agree with tt1106. I also drive a truck and I do think about my wife when I am out on the road. I will write her love letters and tell her what I am thinking. I find that it helps me to endure the time I spend away from home as well as bring me closer to her. This also builds great rewards in our marriage. It is just like when we were dating before we were wed. Courting here from all over the place in this big beautiful world God created for us.

When we become closer we also become closer to God through our loving marriage. With regards to the letters I write to my wife, all I have to do is look at the book of Songs of Solomon and see the beauty of the love letter there to know I am not sinning when I do this. Songs of Solomon is a love letter between Christ and His church, for me learning to love my wife the way Jesus loves His bride, teaches me how to love fully and brings me to the fullness of loving God with all my heart, soul and body.

I agree. When God put you together, He made you one!

I don't think it could be sin to lust after the one God wants you to desire to spend the rest of your earthly life with ;)

God gave us those feeling and urges. I can't think of a better single use for them...:D

It's when you start thinking about other peoples wives that will get you in serious trouble. As long as you keep it to yours,you're safe.;)

It's when you start thinking about other peoples wives that will get you in serious trouble. As long as you keep it to yours,you're safe.;)One is plenty enough to handle.

How Solomon managed, I haven't the foggiest. :P

How Solomon managed, I haven't the foggiest. :P

He didn't ;)
With respect to the OP, the only problem I see you running into is placing your wife before God, effectively turning her into an idol. Other than that, no problem.

Right, and lusting is basically coveting what is not yours right? And your wife is yours, so it's not lust, it's appreciation and desire, god-given!

As long as your are desiring her and her alone I don't see anything that is wrong with that. :) Also like someone else has already said, just make sure that you don't put her before God.

How Solomon managed, I haven't the foggiest. :P

The book of Proverbs speaks a lot on nagging women......and who should know more of this subject than Solomon? :lol:

The book of Proverbs speaks a lot on nagging women......and who should know more of this subject than Solomon? :lol:

:lol: !!!!! HAHAAHAH! Awesome :rofl:

But yeah. This fails to be lust. Infact it gladdens me to see a man thinking fondly about his wife thoroughly enjoying the gift of marriage that God has given him and being content with what he has.

This in essence is a way of keeping the seventh and tenth commandment

Well as I said, I'm incline to agree with you. Just wanted some opinion is all. My worry is regarding the sin of lust and what that actually entails. I recently read one of those arguments saying that it is the act of lust not masturbation, which is sinful about the act of masturbation. Now believe me I'm not trying to start another thread about masturbation, but It started me wondering about what is actually to be considered lustful i.e. thinking about being intimate with your wife. I started to debate myself if masturbation would still be considered sinful if it was your wife about whom you fantasized during the act and felt convicted that it would still be. So I started to wonder then, if the act of lust and the act of masturbation were indeed separable then is fantasizing about your wife alone also convictable?

Probably just thinking too much. Thanks


It may not be wise to think things about your wife that would lead/cause you to want to masturbate. I've seen some dictionaries define this under the same sin as sodomy. Not sure what to make of it, what say ye?

Here's something I found form sodomylaws.org:


"The proscription of sodomy in the English tradition began in 1533 when King Henry VIII adopted contemporary church doctrine into a system of laws at the time of the English withdrawal from the Catholic Church. Sodomy became both a sin and a crime, since ecclesiastical law recognizes no distinction between the concepts of "sin" and "crime." Sodomy included any form of non-procreative acts including masturbation, oral and anal sex.
The original thirteen American colonies derived their laws from the English common law and continued the legal tradition in which sodomy carried the penalty of death.
The 1683 Pennsylvania law called sodomy an "unnatural sin" and the East New Jersey law listed it among the "Offenses against God."

"The proscription of sodomy in the English tradition began in 1533 when King Henry VIII adopted contemporary church doctrine into a system of laws at the time of the English withdrawal from the Catholic Church. Sodomy became both a sin and a crime, since ecclesiastical law recognizes no distinction between the concepts of "sin" and "crime." Sodomy included any form of non-procreative acts including masturbation, oral and anal sex.
The original thirteen American colonies derived their laws from the English common law and continued the legal tradition in which sodomy carried the penalty of death.
The 1683 Pennsylvania law called sodomy an "unnatural sin" and the East New Jersey law listed it among the "Offenses against God."

SHHH don't tell the liberals :rolleyes:

It may not be wise to think things about your wife that would lead/cause you to want to masturbate. I've seen some dictionaries define this under the same sin as sodomy. Not sure what to make of it, what say ye?

Here's something I found form sodomylaws.org:


"The proscription of sodomy in the English tradition began in 1533 when King Henry VIII adopted contemporary church doctrine into a system of laws at the time of the English withdrawal from the Catholic Church. Sodomy became both a sin and a crime, since ecclesiastical law recognizes no distinction between the concepts of "sin" and "crime." Sodomy included any form of non-procreative acts including masturbation, oral and anal sex.
The original thirteen American colonies derived their laws from the English common law and continued the legal tradition in which sodomy carried the penalty of death.
The 1683 Pennsylvania law called sodomy an "unnatural sin" and the East New Jersey law listed it among the "Offenses against God."

How exactly are masturbation and sodomy the same thing?
And since when do the laws of man speak for God?

I think that's more a redefinition of sodomy than what we've come to consider sodomy today. Though I think whoever came up with that didn't read a certain Song of Solomon... At least one of those acts is in there.

Nectar...:rolleyes:

There have been times that I too have been away from home too long...

And I miss my wife..her smile, her face...her hand in mine...sleeping next to her in the bed and the warmth from her body...

But not only her did I miss...I also missed my son.
His little arms around my neck squeezing his daddy for all he was worth because he loves me.

doesn't mean that I am lusting after my son...just means that I am missing them...

and when you get some time...try to find another job...I know it is tough out there. (boy howdy do I know) but they most likely miss you too.

They may need the money to live...but they need you and your leadership and guidance too.

I lust after my wife daily, and I am home every day. If lusting after your wife is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

OK, sorry. I know that was cheesey, but I just couldn't resist.:lol:

They may need the money to live...but they need you and your leadership and guidance too.Succinctly describes the greatest conflict in my life of late. You're so right, this economy doesn't help make it easy to be a good Christian man, husband and father does it? I've always knew that as a Christian man my job was to protect, provide and preserve my family - I just never expected that I would have to do a juggling act between the three. Seems like anymore to do one well, you have to neglect the others a little bit for a while. Check it out (http://bibleforums.org/showpost.php?p=2173717&postcount=17) - my wife gave birth to our son this past Sunday and not only was I not there but I'm still trying to make my way back across the country to get to them. I feel so guilty not being there, but if I didn't go away, we literally would have lost the farm. I hate these choices!


I'm right there with you - as soon as I can find a gig that gets me home for supper each night, I'm on it! and I'm never going to take those things; holding hands, walking, sleeping together, and ah hem - well other things ; ) for granted again!

God Bless.