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markedward
Dec 3rd 2009, 06:40 AM
an exposition of my lingering depression

i sigh, and i turn to look out the window.

you may notice the darkness on the inside of
my eyes. no, it's not drugs. i have trouble
sleeping at night. i lie awake and look into the
night, and my eyes take in the darkness. my
mind is driven, and i lie awake in darkness.
i drive for hours each weekend. these hours

become my hours of release. my speakers rock,
rumbling forth anger. i shout and seethe,
releasing my wrathful anger, crying out against
the sins of the world. the greed. the lust. the
hate. the wars and lies damaging our lives.
the person you see in me is calm. collected.

contained. citizen of the kingdom of heaven.
but i, even i, in my days away, in my times of
escape, need to submit my say. in a voice,
rasping, railing against the wrongdoers. but
when i am overtaken by silence, i am comforted
by promises from god: we will live again.

the sun passes through the blinds, so i get up.

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