Hey guys. Maybe I can get some help here. It's been a while since I've went to a message board for help. Im 21 years old and I've been married now for a year and six month. Sadly enough, I still struggle with porn--softcore and hardcore sometimes. My wife knows about it, and I keep promising her i would stop, but I end up breaking each one. Sometimes I have these episodes where I think my wife is cheating on me, but I know she isn't. Sometimes I get scared of thinking like that. I've struggled with porn for years, probably more than 7 or 8. And its like here lately, we haven't done anything in the bedroom...it worries me but sometimes I think she does that because I watched porn the day before. Sometimes I tell her to please satisfy me so I won't have to go to porn. I feel like a failure honestly. My relationship with Jesus is rocky, I hardly ever study or spend time in his presence. Honestly, I don't understand it all--like being in his presence, and to live in the spirit etc....Sometimes people don't fully explain what that means. Im also unemployed. Ive job hopped for 1.5 years now. Ever since I left my first job, every job has been a dead end. Its my fault though..I left cause I didnt like it. This last job I was fired just before thanksgiving for unfair reasons. Some days I look for a job just a few places, and some days I don't. I just wish that someone would just call me and tell me to work for them. I feel so lazy. Sometimes worthless. We are so up in our eyeballs in debt, and bills keep piling up. We tithe some weeks, and others we feel like we need the money but Iknow thats wrong. My car is breaking down. Rent isn't caught up, light bill isn't caught up. Im so ashamed of all this mess. People have helped us before, but we got back into the mess again. I got saved many times lol, but right now I feel like the farthest away from God than ever before (And I DO NOT believe in the OSAS doctrine either-so I care NOT for those of you who believe in that do not respond to this message-Thanks)
I don't feel the love of God right now. Sometimes I wander if I've truly felt His presence. I dont know what to do yall. please help me

I feel you bro.

I am not sure what to say, or where to start, except I was where you are.

I struggled, tried, and failed again and again.

I did everything I could think of.
I had nothing left.

So I chose to put my hope in God.

I said God please do something with me!
If this is how my life will remain, please kill me!

So He did!

Joh 12:25 (http://bible1.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?word=joh+12:25&version=nas&st=1&sd=1&new=1&showtools=1)
"He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.

You see, nothing in us changes unless God changes it.
If God changes our nature to be like His then everything changes.
But that requires we put our lives in His hands and abandon our own efforts.
It requires that we become true with who and what we are and come to God and each other in truth.
Walk before God with your whole heart.


After that change of nature it becomes about knowing the truth, in order to be free from our slavery to various sins.

There is a parable about broken cisterns where people go to satisfy their thirst. But it does not satisfy because it is broken and holds no water, but fools keep coming back, but it still does not satisfy. This is a picture of us and our sin.
The reasons behind our thirst may change but we tend to have our favorite broken cisterns to return to in place of God.

The lie is that it will satisfy, but the truth is what we long for is something greater, it is God in all that we say and do.

One last thing, sin is not what you do, it is what you hold in your heart, the reasons for the things you do. I often confessed the deeds of my hands but had to learn to confess the motives of my heart as sin.
I dident really know the motives in many cases and had to ask God to show me why I am doing this or that? So I might confess it before Him and be cleansed according to His promise.

It is all about that whole heartedness, coming to God in the truth of us and hope in Him.

God Keep You.

Pro (http://net.bible.org/bible.php?book=Pro&chapter=28#13) 28:13 (http://net.bible.org/verse.php?book=Pro&chapter=28&verse=13)http://net.bible.org/images/advanced.gif
The one who covers his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses them and forsakes them will find mercy.

Hey Daniel, one thing I noticed a lot in your posting is an attitude of guilt and self-condemnation. Satan loves to use those to keep you bound in sin. If he can keep you doubting your identity in Christ, he can keep you from spreading God's good news to others and living under the freedom that Christ bought for us (I can definitely speak from experience on this). One thing I've learned in the last several months is God doesn't want us carrying around these burdens of guilt and shame. Christ's sacrifice was enough to cover all of our sins. Through Him, we are not only forgiven, we are made righteous!

2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." If we can truly wrap our minds around what this means (I still have to be reminded fairly often, myself), God can do amazing things in our lives.

Bless you, brother, I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers.

Bottom line, you need to go to counseling.

why do I need to go to counseling? they dont want to talk to me. i was going to go earlier this year but it was like months before they could see me so I go mad and left

why do I need to go to counseling? they dont want to talk to me. i was going to go earlier this year but it was like months before they could see me so I go mad and left

I'm still trying to incorporate this 'grace with love' thing. So be forewarned that at times I can be very straight foward.

Here's the thing. I'm sure a lot of us here can read your post, examine it, give you our thoughts and Scripture and leave it at that -- you decide what you want to do with that information. We essentially would be trying to encourage you, lift your spirit, tell you that with God's help "you can do it".

The reality, however, is that this isn't an issue where only you are concerned. It's an issue concerning yourself and your wife. If this is an ongoing problem that is and will destroy your marriage, then you need to seek counseling from a counselor (preferably a Christian one), and at some point your wife needs to be involved in that process.

Here's why I think you need counseling, not message board encouragement. They are all things you said:

--> The trust between yourself and your wife is destroyed
--> You cannot keep your word to your wife
--> You have the beginnings of a troubled sex life because you watch porn all day, rather than be with your wife
--> Your wife's self-esteem, feelings of love, respect and protection are rapidly going away
--> You blame your wife for your porn addiction ("please me")
--> You don't have a strong relationship with God
--> You blame everyone else but yourself for your choices
--> You want things to be handed to you on a platter, rather than having to go out and do them yourself

There are simply a lot of things none of us are qualified to help you with. Even if we were we couldn't. Regardless of if you have to wait a while to see a counselor, you need to see one. In the mean time, you need to repent of what you're doing, get right with God and go talk with a pastor.

You just don't understand.

You just don't understand.

Maybe I don't. Perhaps there is a lot to your story that you haven't told us. If this is the case, even more reason you need to speak with a pastor or a counselor.

Howdy Daniel,

I agree that you need some help from your pastor and local church. Have you set down and talked to him about this? Or maybe your Sunday School teacher or one of the deacons.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to one of them yet, maybe start a thread in the Chat to the Ministers area here. http://bibleforums.org/forumdisplay.php?f=143

Don't wait until it is too late. It sounds like you know you are headed for a wrecked marriage and you already know you are not where you are supposed to be with God.

Hope this helps....

First I want to thank all of you who have been praying. You don't even know me yet you still pray for me. We had church tonight. I mean we HAD church. The Lord healed my broken heart, and He forgave me of all my sins. He has cleansed me and I feel so alive right now! I thank Jesus Christ for bringing me back to the cross. When I was at the alters, I demanded that all the demonic spirits that were attached to me--whether it be addictions, anger, fear--I knew that I had to go to the source and demand that those demons to LEAVE. So now by the power of Jesus Christ, the blood of Jesus Christ has covered me and every demon spirit has left me! THANK YOU JESUS! I can never let my life get where it was, but Jesus is the one who heals and restores. He has restored me and healed me and cleansed me. I am now a free man. For whom the Spirit has set free...IS FREE INDEED!

Part of the Christian life is something called "regeneration". It's a process each person goes through, led by the Holy Spirit. Not an instant cure-all.

I will not say that I doubt you had a spiritual moment tonight. I sincerely hope that it is genuine and true. But you clearly said "I got saved many times lol" in your opening post, so how do you know that you would fall backward again... and again... and again? Take this as a stern warning: Do not assume that you have been instantly cured.

Healing is a process. Regeneration by the Holy Spirit is a process. Rebuilding your relationship with your wife is a process. I agree with Xel'Naga: You need a qualified Christian counselor to lead you in your healing from your sins, and that includes healing the relationship with your wife.

Brother, consider praying for a mentor,
An elder brother who is genuine, faithful, wise and trusting in God above all else! Someone whole hearted and living like Jesus.

You need a job. Any job is better than no job. God will walk you through. Be fully honest with your wife. DO NOT TITHE. God does not need your money. You do. Everyman must work to feel a man IMHO unless retired. Do not be afraid to do lousy jobs for a while.

I hope that you and your wife can get help from your pastor.

Part of the Christian life is something called "regeneration". It's a process each person goes through, led by the Holy Spirit. Not an instant cure-all.

I agree with this, and what the others have said. God began a big thing in you last night, I have no doubt of that. The next step after breaking those strongholds the enemy placed in your life is moving forward and repairing the damage caused by them. It's a tough thing to go through, but the blessings that come out of it are incredible. Cling to God especially close through these times, and try to find someone locally with whom you can talk too (preferably a pastor or Christian counselor). I believe God has big things in store for you in the days to come. Stay close to Him, and you'll be amazed at what He can do. :)

I just wanted to reply about arcadia's comment about "DO NOT TITHE"

You are wrong. We all have to tithe. You're right God don't need our money. But he tells us to tithe simply to be obedient. How can a man rob God? By tithes and offerings. God never abolished that law.

I just wanted to reply about arcadia's comment about "DO NOT TITHE"

You are wrong. We all have to tithe. You're right God don't need our money. But he tells us to tithe simply to be obedient. How can a man rob God? By tithes and offerings. God never abolished that law.

The entire Old Testament Law was abolished. If you tithe today, it's because you love God (and I would say there is a lot of blessing that comes from tithing), however, you don't have to tithe ten percent.

Jesus did not destroy the law. He fulfilled it. The only thing that was abolished in the Old Testament was the laws that dealt with ceremonial and sacrificial laws. Jesus died to abolish those laws as He was the ultimate sacifrice. We still must tithe. Period.

Daniel,

One thing for sure is Jacob offered 10% before the law was ever given hundreds of years later to Moses :D

Gen 28:20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
21 So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God:
22 And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.

God does not want us to give with a grudging heart but i think we should give as the example was set by Jacob. :idea:

Jesus did not destroy the law. He fulfilled it. The only thing that was abolished in the Old Testament was the laws that dealt with ceremonial and sacrificial laws. Jesus died to abolish those laws as He was the ultimate sacifrice. We still must tithe. Period.


Please tell me WHO the tithe was for... use scripture.:D

The only thing that was abolished in the Old Testament was the laws that dealt with ceremonial and sacrificial laws.

If that is true... do you still stone homosexuals? That law is neither ceremonial or sacrificial. If not, why not?

This direction this thread is taking is not helpful to the OP.
He came here asking for help...
We shouldn't be debating the Law...

I agree Mark. I also think if someone believes something to be sin, we should not become a stumbling block.

This direction this thread is taking is not helpful to the OP.
He came here asking for help...
We shouldn't be debating the Law...

So you guys don't think the religious bondage that he is under and thinking that he has to earn the right to stay saved (by good works) has anything to do with his situation??? The Bible says otherwise.

So you guys don't think the religious bondage that he is under and thinking that he has to earn the right to stay saved (by good works) has anything to do with his situation??? The Bible says otherwise.

I think our brother is working through many things just as the rest of us on his walk with the Lord. I don't think that "bondage" to God's law is what is the problem he was having though. It sounds as if he is getting back on tract and starting to focus on God now from reading some of Daniel's other posts :hug:

In Acts 16:3 Paul took Timothy to be circumcised so that he could witness to the Jews. I too believe we should tithe. Not because of a law but because all i have is God's and there is enough scripture to cause me to believe He expects us to give Him back at least a tithe (10%). Besides, He has proven to me over and over that if we give, He will out give us ;)

Some scripture that teaches us not to push our brothers to grow faster than God is leading-

1Cor 8:8 But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse. {are we the better: or, have we the more} {are we the worse: or, have we the less}
9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. {liberty: or, power}
10 For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; {emboldened: Gr. edified}
11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience ye sin against Christ.
13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.

1 Cor 10:28 But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
29 Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another man's conscience?

Maybe Daniel and I just need to mature some more to get to the point that we do not feel we need to tithe :kiss:

This is NOT solely based on his tithing comment, but this one and more like it as well. I realize you may not have seen it, so it should help add context to my comments.


Works do NOT get you saved.
Works KEEP YOU SAVED.

Based on what he has said, do you not see how Galatians 5 would suggest the answer to his problem??? If we try to perfect in the flesh what was started in the spirit, it results in the works of the flesh. If he continues to try to perfect by the flesh what was started in the spirit, he will continue to get the same results every time regardless of whether or not he had a great God moment in the altar the other night.

I KNOW. I lived it for years. I can probably tell you what denomination he is in and guess where he is at, within a hundred miles. My post is out of NOTHING but loving, DEEP concern for my brother.




Some scripture that teaches us not to push our brothers to grow faster than God is leading-

In relation to his post on salvation... you cannot find one that tells us to let them continue in error... ;)

Mathew 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

It's a spiritual warfare, get with brethren and confess,


Rev. 12:11
"And they overcame him [the devil] by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death"

I don't think that "bondage" to God's law is what is the problem he was having though.

Me neither, because he doesn't seem to properly understand God's law. It seems he's very much in bondage to 'religion'. Something that does need to be pointed out and corrected. Something which it would appear as if Daniel has investigated and been misled.

My question here is not so much about tith,,,, but about getting saved over and over again...All christian's back slide, but they did not lose there salvation.
we have an advocate with the Lord,, To take our sin's to him daily.So that is my concern here, You were saved, why do you question that point.

Daniel092988, to what extent are you willing to go to be free from porn long-term?

If you are using a computer to watch porn then get rid of the computer. Get it out of the house. Now.