If a spouce cheats on you are you suppose to forgive them and remain married?

One has to have a spouse first.

Then the issue is a personal one between the cheatee, the cheator, and God.

There is no simple answer.

what about forgiveness shouldn't he\she for give the cheator?

Forgiveness? Yes, absolutely. The offended spouse must forgive the cheator.

Forgiveness, however, does not necessarily mean that they have to stay married.
But staying married is a viable option as well.

The cheating spouse cannot go on repeating the cheating, either....

what about forgiving 10 times 10 times 10?

what about forgiving 10 times 10 times 10?

Rom 6:1-3 NKJV What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? (2) Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (3) Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?

It is right that we should forgive if we are wronged, and if we are wronged again we should forgive again. But if someone keeps repeating the same wrongs we might ask how sincere their repentance actually is.

Where marital infidelity is concerned it's not the sort of thing that "just happens" - without getting graphic it needs another person and an opportunity (i.e. location, privacy etc). If an errant spouse is sincere in wanting to restore a relationship they may need to change the circumstances that led to the unfaithfulness in the first place (in this context I'm talking about the opportunity to be unfaithful, not necessarily any situation at home that might have led to it). They must have met the other person somewhere, and if they don't break off contact there's always the chance the unfaithfulness will repeat. So, for example, if they cheated with a work colleague they may need to change jobs to avoid being alone with that person. If they are routinely unfaithful at conferences perhaps they need to stop going to conferences, or go with the wronged spouse, but do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't keep happening.

Of course if there is something at home that encouraged the unfaithful spouse to be unfaithful, that may need to be addressed between the husband and wife. It's the balance between taking away the opportunity to cheat, as well as taking away any specific motivations to cheat.

what if they were coming on to their spouces sibbling then what? who should apologize ?

Matthew 18

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[f]

23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."


Jesus died for them too, he watns us to fogrive them too, even if they make the mistake again. If they ikeep doing it and obviusly not planning on stopping or trying then they probably aren't sorry. But forgiveness isnt to help them only, its a way for us to move on, to pick ourselves up and to not let the past run your life. Holding grudges doen'st make things easier for ya, it just keeps adding more stress instead and builds up the anger whihc only brings the person harboring the anger down instead. But God is big enough to help us to forgive, to handle these situations the right way, pray to him for strength to forgive and what to do with the marriage. and keep praying for the spouse who is cheating too that God will reveal himself to him and open his eyes.

You should try your hardest for forgive, although that might not always be easy.

As for whether or not to stay married to them, that’s a matter of love. You should love each other unconditionally, like God loves us. If you love someone that much, nothing can break it.

I know that nothing can stop me loving my girlfriend. If she repetitively cheated on me (not that she ever would!!), I might be incredibly hurt, but I would still love her the same. There’s no way I could ever leave her. I would only do that if I knew she would be happier without me.

The highest form of love, known in Greek as “Agape”, keeps on loving even when its object is unresponsive, unkind, unlovable, or completely unworthy.

Forgiving a person doesn't mean you have to stand there and let them keep hurting you.

I think that “cheating” is a symptom of a weakened (or crushed) spiritual condition and that prayer should be very much involved in the forgiveness and reconciliation process. Though it may be difficult, love is long-suffering and rejection (even if it is in response to rejection) is a hard thing to bear, for oneself and others. If the spouse repents, I think that accepting him or her back would be appropriate. What a sorry state I would be in if the Living God rejected me after I rejected Him in the past.

In my case, I would forgive my husband if he cheated on me, but I would divorce him promptly. I have no tolerance for cheating and wont stay married to a man who cheats. I would still love him though :cry:

I've been in a very serious long time relationship and been cheated on. Of course, we weren't married and this was before I realized that I had to start being and living as a Christian instead of just talking and acting like one.

Forgiving is not easy but can be done. The major problem is the fact that your trust in the person who meant the world to you is shattered.
You find yourself not believing or wondering if you can believe the words they tell you in the present and doubt all that they said in the past.

Rebuilding that trust that is so crucial to a loving relationship is very, very hard and for me it was, after a long time of trying, impossible.

My ex wife cheated on me... a lot. The sad part was i knew she was doing it and never said anything for fear i would loose her... well i ended up losing her to another man. we are friends now and i have forgiven her. but the damage has been done I will never be able to trust again in that kind of relationship no matter how wonderful the woman is.