We moved to this neighborhood this winter, and we have found all neighbors we've met to be great with the exception of 2 children. Their parents are very nice, but 2 of their 4 children seem to be preoccupied with what they can break & who they can hurt. Because of this, I banned the children from our home & yard telling them that too many bad things were happening every time they were over. Maybe I should have taken a different approach because it seemed to just make them mad & decide to "get back at us". They threw a couple of stink bombs in our yard & driveway, and (as I was headed toward their parents' house to talk to them about the stink bombs) one of them was headed into our yard with an air soft gun behind his back. Was he looking to use it on my kids or pets??? Who knows... I had a talk with their dad about how I was concerned about their intentions as they, obviously, intend to cause us as much harm as they can muster up...they're just not that harmful...yet. He talked to them telling them to steer clear of our yard, & things calmed down for a couple of weeks. However, tonight, I found out from one of my son's friends that is also friends with these boys that one of the boys tipped over a bunch of logs today that my son and his friend had made into a fort. Again, not that harmful, but it hurt my son's feelings and it's the destructive intentions that I'm concerned about. I actually wish I'd catch these boys breaking our window so I had something more substantial to work with here. I really don't need this drama, but I also don't have any tolerance for children that will hurt my kids or break our things every time they're over. The kids have a reputation in the neighborhood...throwing rocks at cars, entering neighbor's home through dog door while gone & stealing snacks, urinating on other boys, etc. Nasty boys... The parents seem to have no control, so I feel going to them about the fort will give the same result. I've only went to them once. Do I need to give the parents more chances to fix this? If so, how many do they get? How much does it escalate before I take more serious steps? Does my kid have to lose an eye first from that air soft gun? Am I overreacting if I call the police to understand what it takes to get a restraining order? Am I being impatient? What would you do? ...aside from praying for their family...because we've been doing that for sure... At my wits end...

I'd say calling the police to at least get some feedback from them may just be a good start. I had kids in our old nieghborhood like that. I chased them a few times, but it seemed to make it more of an adventure for them. So I just started ignoring them and eventually they stopped. Or found another person to torment.

I would feel like giving them a good hard spanking and making them stand in the corner for a long time.

We moved to this neighborhood this winter, and we have found all neighbors we've met to be great with the exception of 2 children. Their parents are very nice, but 2 of their 4 children seem to be preoccupied with what they can break & who they can hurt. Because of this, I banned the children from our home & yard telling them that too many bad things were happening every time they were over. Maybe I should have taken a different approach because it seemed to just make them mad & decide to "get back at us". They threw a couple of stink bombs in our yard & driveway, and (as I was headed toward their parents' house to talk to them about the stink bombs) one of them was headed into our yard with an air soft gun behind his back. Was he looking to use it on my kids or pets??? Who knows... I had a talk with their dad about how I was concerned about their intentions as they, obviously, intend to cause us as much harm as they can muster up...they're just not that harmful...yet. He talked to them telling them to steer clear of our yard, & things calmed down for a couple of weeks. However, tonight, I found out from one of my son's friends that is also friends with these boys that one of the boys tipped over a bunch of logs today that my son and his friend had made into a fort. Again, not that harmful, but it hurt my son's feelings and it's the destructive intentions that I'm concerned about. I actually wish I'd catch these boys breaking our window so I had something more substantial to work with here. I really don't need this drama, but I also don't have any tolerance for children that will hurt my kids or break our things every time they're over. The kids have a reputation in the neighborhood...throwing rocks at cars, entering neighbor's home through dog door while gone & stealing snacks, urinating on other boys, etc. Nasty boys... The parents seem to have no control, so I feel going to them about the fort will give the same result. I've only went to them once. Do I need to give the parents more chances to fix this? If so, how many do they get? How much does it escalate before I take more serious steps? Does my kid have to lose an eye first from that air soft gun? Am I overreacting if I call the police to understand what it takes to get a restraining order? Am I being impatient? What would you do? ...aside from praying for their family...because we've been doing that for sure... At my wits end...

I would attempt to talk to the parents one more time, explaining your concern for your son's safety as well as their children.

If nothing happens and they continue their destructive behavior, then I'd call the police at that point. You don't want to have to do that of course, but heaven forbid they do something really harmful.

Of course may I also mention that the first thing you need to do is to pray about it and pray for these people.

Jeanne

I don't know if the police can do much unless you or someone else witnesses them doing these things. People have found outside security camera a good use for these kinds of situations..

You could call child protective services and talk to them too..because you are right..left unchecked eventually they will be breaking the law and hurting someone if something isn't done now. Meanwhile don't leave any of your pets outside when you are gone...seriously. My son has a soft air gun and hitting a child or a pet in the eye can do some real damage. They remind me of my neighbors grand children..two boys that were like this. Using the grandparents front yard for a bathroom in front of God and everyone...nasty stuff. They were very destructive too and I had to also ban them from our house and yard. These was years ago btw.

Luckily they don't live there..they were over there alot but shortly after this and causing alot of trouble in other neighboring homes, they didn't go to their grandparents much anymore and stayed in the yard. They were just like wild animals too..it was scary! All over the place and seemed to just be looking to break things. Even their older sister said they were bad. :( Which is sad actually...lack of good parenting skills is many times the cause but not always...for some parents no matter what they do in the way of discipline these kids don't get better...there are other issues going on..

God bless

It doesn't sound like there's many options here except to talk to the family again and/or wait it out until the kids do something that really crosses the line. Until that time, I suggest (perhaps controversially) to teach your kids how to fight.

I would try talking to the parents one more time. Explain to them that you do not want anyone getting hurt. Let them know that if this is not resolved, you will be calling the police. They may get a little upset with you. But, your kids should not have to feel threatened when playing in their own yard. And you deserve peace. Plus, even though these boys are probably doing this just because they think it is "funny", they may accidentally truly hurt one of your kids or pets one day. Then, it would be too late to take action - the damage would already be done. Another good thing to do would be to talk to your pastor and ask him for advice about this.

My advice would be get together with at least two more neighbors who feel the same and go to the parents together.When the parents see that several of their neighbors are willing to approach them they will most likely be ashamed and get their act together.Also encourage the other neighbors to have a sort of bully patrol,in other words make sure that there is always a parent keeping an eye out and inform the two bullies parents that if you catch their child attempting to damage your property or harm a child that you will disipline them as you would your own child.I hope this helps.GOD-bless

I agree with what Lady E and Moonglow said. Get a bully patrol going in your neighborhood and if you can put up security cameras would help. You know it's too bad that we have to put up with someone eles's kids doing what you teach your own not to. It really sounds like they have some problems that the parents need to address. Don't wait till they hurt one of your kids or even your pets before you do something. Good luck

Or you could threaten to call the fuzz on them next time.

The problem isn't yours - it's the kids and their parents. Get the ball rolling back into their court, don't own it. Don't spend money on security cameras. Tell the parents, when you know the two trouble makers are home and in front of them all pointedly tell them that the next time something destructive or dangerous happens - you are calling the cops. Then, when something destructive happens call them without hesitating. They'll either get control of their kids or be dealing with those in authority. How old are these kids?

My son had some trouble a number of years ago in elementary school with bullies. I got a call one day saying he'd gotten into a fight. Nobody was badly hurt. What he'd done is stand up for himself. School loved me (sarcasm there) when I told them the kids had it coming. I suggested that they get control of the bullies and my son wouldn't have any reason to get tired of putting up with it.

The problem isn't yours - it's the kids and their parents. Get the ball rolling back into their court, don't own it. Don't spend money on security cameras. Tell the parents, when you know the two trouble makers are home and in front of them all pointedly tell them that the next time something destructive or dangerous happens - you are calling the cops. Then, when something destructive happens call them without hesitating. They'll either get control of their kids or be dealing with those in authority. How old are these kids?

My son had some trouble a number of years ago in elementary school with bullies. I got a call one day saying he'd gotten into a fight. Nobody was badly hurt. What he'd done is stand up for himself. School loved me (sarcasm there) when I told them the kids had it coming. I suggested that they get control of the bullies and my son wouldn't have any reason to get tired of putting up with it.

Hopefully that will work..I just know around here the police expect witnesses or some evidence to prove anyone did anything..including kids or they won't do anything. This is why vandalism is so hard to prove...its usually done when no one is around watching even though everyone knows who did it...:(


My son had some trouble a number of years ago in elementary school with bullies. I got a call one day saying he'd gotten into a fight. Nobody was badly hurt. What he'd done is stand up for himself. School loved me (sarcasm there) when I told them the kids had it coming. I suggested that they get control of the bullies and my son wouldn't have any reason to get tired of putting up with it.

Same thing happened with my son more then once he was still blamed for striking back though, even when I pretty much said the same thing...:( I got alot of run around with that. Now he is in middle school and they handle things so much better! They take any complaints seriously and don't do this 'well its just his word against there's junk like I got before. They confront the bully and get it stopped. Which I can't tell you how relieved I am about that!

God bless

I know you don't WANT to involve the police, which is sweet of you, but seriously? These kids are breaking the law, and trespassing. At their age, they wouldn't be arrested or anything, but the parents would be put on notice to corral their monsters. There is a 'quiet enjoyment' law around for situations like this -- get all this stuff documented, and go to the authorities with it. The parents might not like you afterward, but it doesn't matter. You have a right to enjoy your own property without their little monsters coming over to ruin it because the parents are ineffective.