PDA

View Full Version : Need Advice: Is it immoral to get a massage?



Moon
Dec 12th 2010, 11:21 PM
It is immoral, or even just basically inappropriate, to get a massage from a certified practitioner who's male? I went, at my doctor's recommendation, but now feel very confused if, as a Christian woman, this was an inappropriate thing to do.

If it was, I am also having difficulty forgiving myself for not knowing beforehand. Can someone offer their opinion and/or guidance back to Christ's peace?

Thanks,
Moon

nebula_omega
Dec 13th 2010, 12:01 AM
Despite all the XXX-movies made with massage as the 'starting point', massage therapists are professionals, and they will not touch you inappropriately. It's no different than going to a male doctor. But if it makes you feel twitchy going to a male therapist, then go to a female. Most places will accommodate you if you have a specific type of therapist you want.

Moon
Dec 13th 2010, 01:28 AM
I guess I'm not quite sure what is inappropriate, or not. Though there was absolutely no touch considered "sexual" he did touch areas of my, shall we say, "very lower back region" that now in retrospect I feel shame?/guilt? about, for allowing someone to touch who's not my husband, and I have lost my peace, and am seeking right perspective again to free me from feeling I transgressed something, if anyone can help. It's been disturbing me.

Moon

Jeanne D
Dec 13th 2010, 01:34 AM
It is immoral, or even just basically inappropriate, to get a massage from a certified practitioner who's male? I went, at my doctor's recommendation, but now feel very confused if, as a Christian woman, this was an inappropriate thing to do.

If it was, I am also having difficulty forgiving myself for not knowing beforehand. Can someone offer their opinion and/or guidance back to Christ's peace?

Thanks,
Moon

I really don't know. I've never had a massage and I probably never will. I personally don't feel comfortable having one, but if I had to, I'd opt for a female masseuse (sp?)

Jeanne

nebula_omega
Dec 13th 2010, 10:25 AM
Well, there is a fair amount of muscle in the 'very lower back region' and it does get used quite a bit, especially if you have a desk job.

Have you talked to your husband about this? If you're feeling guilty about another man touching you and/or wondering what your husband would think, I would ask him. I'm guessing here though; I'm single myself.

miepie
Dec 13th 2010, 12:51 PM
Moon, :hug:

Why don't you tell God about it? :hug: And I would try to get a female too...... My husband doesn't like that people touch me there either...... that is why when I have a male Assisted Living Helper I am keeping my underpants on and Charles washes me there later...... females do wash me completely most of the time....... depends on me........ :)

Love you lots,
Mieke :kiss:

Dani H
Dec 13th 2010, 02:57 PM
Here's some input from a poster who shall remain anonymous (for obvious reasons) but which might help you gain some perspective:


My wife is a trained massage therapist and, as long as we're talking about a professional rather than the dodgy folks who advertise on business card in phone boxes, it's an entirely professional situation. Yes, the client removes most of their clothing but protocols and procedures and all that require a minimum of flesh to be exposed to do the job. One of the things my wife practised on me several times was getting me to turn over and over and over while she held towels, until she could figure how to hold the towels so I could turn over without showing more than the bare minimum of skin (obviously it doesn't matter how much of me she sees, it was for the benefit of future clients!)

To a physician or any other trained professional, it's just body parts. An arm to them is no different than a buttocks. It's like a mechanic working on a car. So the issue isn't with the professional but with you. If you have certain sensitivities, then it's probably important for you to ask for a female practitioner next time around. I'm more comfortable with a lady when it comes to certain things also. Nothing wrong with that!

Also, in the medical profession, male doctors usually have a female "chaperone" with them when they perform certain exams on a female client. Because, again, they're professionals and understand their patients' sensitivities, but there are certain situations where you need somebody with specialized training and so whether it's male or female, if they're qualified to do the job then why settle for lesser quality care because of gender?

PrayerInMemphis
Dec 13th 2010, 04:05 PM
if it's immoral, then i'm guilty!!
i depend on monthly massages to work out the kinks in my back/shoulders that are the result of long hours at a desk job.
and because their hands are stronger, i usually prefer male massage therapists.
never once has anyone been inappropriate.
i will add though, since i only need upper body work, i never disrobe from the waist down or flip over so that my face is up.
as far as advice goes, i second mieke...you should probably ask God what He thinks...

Moon
Dec 13th 2010, 04:50 PM
Yes, I think because I don't have peace with it, it's not a good thing for me to do again. Can someone offer spiritual advice on how I can receive forgiveness for not saying something in the moment, and allowing my own inner boundaries to be transgressed?

I just went along with it, because I didn't know what to say, even though I was greatly uncomfortable. I've brought it to the foot of the cross, and have asked the Lord to strengthen me to speak up for myself, whenever someone does something I am uncomfortable with, but I still somehow feel violated and don't have any peace.

Can any woman offer spiritual advice?

Ta-An
Dec 13th 2010, 05:52 PM
... how I can receive forgiveness for not saying something in the moment, and allowing my own inner boundaries to be transgressed?

The thing with forgiveness is this... you ask and believe that you have received......
Like miepie suggested, go and talk to God about it :hug:

BirdOfPray
Dec 13th 2010, 05:54 PM
I don't think you did anything wrong, although since you were uncomfortable with it I would definitely suggest avoiding the situation in the future. But to my knowledge you didn't violate any of Christ's commands. You felt uncomfortable and you've asked for forgiveness and decided that you won't allow yourself to be in that situation again. God doesn't withhold forgiveness when one of His children sincerely asks it.

If you're married and you haven't talked with your husband about it, doing so might help you feel some resolution -- especially if some of your concern is that you've done wrong by him. Again, it's not my opinion that you have, but talking with him may help you feel peace. I'd explain to him how you feel and that you've decided not to let it happen again, and ask what his thoughts are.

Ta-An
Dec 13th 2010, 06:05 PM
....., shall we say, "very lower back region" He touched your bumcheeks?? Is that what you say :hmm:

Moon, are you suffering in any other way after the massage?? (Other than feeling guilty about what happened??)

Moon
Dec 13th 2010, 11:20 PM
It just made me uncomfortable. Basically, I didn't like having someone touching me at all - especially areas that seem more "private." Its just not for me. But, I am going to proceed with everything people have suggested so I can feel peace about not having maintained my own emotionally boundaries (I do see it's more emotional than physical here), and appreciate your support!

Dani H
Dec 14th 2010, 12:35 AM
I don't think there is anything to be forgiven because there was no sin involved.

It's a learning experience, that's all. So learn from it, and move on. Now that you know your own boundaries, make decisions next time based on that. It's really just that simple.

Ta-An
Dec 14th 2010, 11:30 AM
It just made me uncomfortable. Basically, I didn't like having someone touching me at all - especially areas that seem more "private." Its just not for me. But, I am going to proceed with everything people have suggested so I can feel peace about not having maintained my own emotionally boundaries (I do see it's more emotional than physical here), and appreciate your support!

Moon you know..... you did not go there knowing what was going to happen to you .... you did not go there to deliberately get touched in such a way.... :hug: and I am sorry they did not have a notice up in their reception area to warm you of such.....

In the Physio Therapists rooms, I saw a notice on the wall that informs people that for some therapy treatments one might be required to remove your clothes and that some therapy massages might require your body to be exposed....... but they do provide garments for therapy/treatment purposes.

:pray: for your restoration :hug:

Frecs
Dec 14th 2010, 05:35 PM
It is immoral, or even just basically inappropriate, to get a massage from a certified practitioner who's male? I went, at my doctor's recommendation, but now feel very confused if, as a Christian woman, this was an inappropriate thing to do.

If it was, I am also having difficulty forgiving myself for not knowing beforehand. Can someone offer their opinion and/or guidance back to Christ's peace?

Thanks,
Moon

Do you allow a male doctor to touch you?
Would you have a problem with a male surgeon operating on you? How about the other males in the room at the time?

Massage is a physical therapy modality. It is a medical treatment no different than any other medical treatment. You did not sin by having it performed by a male. Would I prefer a female as a massage therapist treating me? Yes. I also prefer female doctors/PAs performing GYN exams. But, that is not always possible. Sometimes, the best option is a male doctor. It is not a sin for me to allow a male GYN doctor examine me.

Now, the other issue is this: even if it was wrong...you did not commit the unforgiveable sin. God would forgive you. You would need to forgive yourself. You NEED to forgive yourself because your lack of peace shows that you are not forgiving yourself for something you perceive as wrong. Forgive yourself. Then, decide what you will do from this point on -- is this physical/massage therapist the only available therapist in your area? Do you have other options who are female? Do you feel comfortable having a professional therapist who is male touch you? These are things you will need to ask and answer so that you can be at peace about your future actions/choices.

LadyinWaiting
Dec 22nd 2010, 08:06 PM
I used to get massages frequently, but only from females because males make me feel the way you're feeling now. I attempt at every chance to have female only doctors as I'm more at ease with that.

In terms of did you sin? No. You didn't lust for the man's touch. You weren't aroused by it. You didn't go there in order to seek something your husband could give you. You went at a doctor's bidding to get a medical treatment. The insane amount of guilt just doesn't seem Spirit driven to me. If it were conviction under the Holy Spirit - you'd be convicted, seek forgiveness and continue on knowing Christ's sacrificed over you is sufficient.

In this case, I'm thinking it might be something that isn't coming as conviction from God. If you've prayed, know you need to forgive yourself and move on in the knowledge that you better know what to do from here on.

Your Advert here


Hosted by Webnet77