I posted last summer about my job situation and the stress and anxiety I was feeling as a result of being employed. I am 57 and although I have a college degree and a graduate degree I cannot find a job except something menial at minimum wage.

Now I am facing a new challenge. Last fall I decided to take a licensing exam at the end of February. I am about halfway through the curriculum and was feeling confident about it until Thursday.

Just by way of background, I took sleeping medicine and anti-anxiety medicines for 3-4 years. However, I weened myself off of them earlier this fall and I had been doing great. I was sleeping well and had only minimum anxiety - certainly a level I could live with.

For no particular reason I can understand, I could not sleep last Thursday night and it started a bout with insomnia. Now, for 4 straight nights I have been unable to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep a night. That has increased my anxiety which makes it even more difficult to sleep.

Now, I cannot concentrate on my studies. I feel very strange during the day (like right now) with so little sleep and my comprehension has taken a hard hit. I feel a little like a zombie - sort of dazed and confused - a little jittery, but not mentally alert.

I wish I could understand why I am facing this new challenge. Is there something God is telling me that I am not listening to? When I lie in bed at night I think of all sorts of things - things from the past, future unknowns and sometimes little sounds jolt me. But most of the time I fall asleep about 11 p.m. and wake up about 2:30 a.m. Sometimes I can sleep until 4 a.m.

When I try to go back to sleep I feel like I am connected to electrodes and as I get close to falling asleep - every few minutes I get a dose of electricity - it really feels like a jolt of current that startles me and I am wide awake again. It also feels a little like that feeling of "falling" that going to sleep can feel like but instead the feeling awakens me. This is not true at 11 p.m. when I first fall asleep - only when I wake up.

Of course, that deters me from getting close to sleep again so I just lay there and toss and turn.

Very frustrating and after living with unemployment for the last 5 months this insomnia is now interfering with my ability to study so I can take this licensing test in 5 weeks. Taking this test is important because it will enable to find work. It is not a guarantee, but it will help.

Your prayers would be appreciated.

Maybe you're getting more anxious as the test date approaches, and your stress is what's causing the insomnia?

Sounds like you need to see a doctor and make sure something medical isn't going on. It could simply be lack of sleep making your body and mind overly sensitive to everything... lack of sleep can do very strange things to a person. If you can't see a doctor due to having no employment..you might think about getting on that medication again. Meanwhile I will be praying for you on this! I have gone through something similar before...last winter in fact and it was a nightmare. In my case I think the HRT I was taking was causing alot of it...I didn't realize hormones could wreck such havoc in a person's life...:(

God bless

I agree..it sounds like a stress issue. Call your doctor and perhaps you can get something to at least calm you down during this time.
Praying for you right now.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I was able to sleep last night and it made all the difference in the world today. I was able to spend 4-5 hours studying for this test. I bought some Advil PM yesterday afternoon and I skipped my usual glass of wine with dinner. A friend of mine suggested that wine can sometimes wake you up. We will see how it goes tonight, but at least I broke the 4 day pattern.

I don't think it is anxiety about the test per se. That may have something to do with it, but it is not typical for me to react with anxiety to a test like this - although there is very little that is "typical" given my predicament. I can retake the test later on if I don't pass it the first time so it is not "do or die."

Without going into all the details, the thoughts that bring on the anxiety come from shame and guilt over mistakes I have made over the past 10 years. I've taken these issues before God many times, but the anxiety came back with such strength (probably made worse by sleeplessness for a couple of days) that it surprised me. It really felt like little electrical zaps in my nervous system.

I was so tired last night I didn't feel anything but the mattress and pillow as I laid down. I am grateful for that and praying tonight will be the same.

Glad to hear it! Hope you continue to rest well! Sleep is so important!

Unfortunately, I was up at 4 a.m. this morning after sleeping about 5 hours. Better than nothing, but I could not go back to sleep and I am wiped out today.

There is something called nocturnal anxiety that affects some people as they go from one stage of sleep to another. I was diagnosed with "generalized anxiety disorder" at one point several years ago, but I have been much better. But now, I am anxious during the day because my sleep is interrupted and I don't get enough rest. That had not been true (anxiety during the day) for months until last week.

This all just came out of the blue. If I get enough sleep I am fine.

Try some melatonin pills. This is what our body produce for us to sleep. Also, reseach on foods that will help you sleep better. Warm milk helps. Avoid spicy or oily food before sleeping. Also, make sure your bedroom is dark as it helps our body know its time to sleep.

Read some calming verses in the bible before falling asleep. This will help put us at ease. And forget about the past guilt. We need to bring it to God and forget about it. God forgives and he will not drag up this past issues. Its usually us that wants to drag it up or satan wants us to drag up.

Try some melatonin pills. This is what our body produce for us to sleep. Also, reseach on foods that will help you sleep better. Warm milk helps. Avoid spicy or oily food before sleeping. Also, make sure your bedroom is dark as it helps our body know its time to sleep.

Read some calming verses in the bible before falling asleep. This will help put us at ease. And forget about the past guilt. We need to bring it to God and forget about it. God forgives and he will not drag up this past issues. Its usually us that wants to drag it up or satan wants us to drag up.

I have tried to forget about it - and have for the most part, but when I am sleep deprived it starts a vicious cycle of guilt, shame and anxiety. Very difficult to live with. I spend a lot of time on my knees. Someone suggested that I should thank God for the anxiety and guilt because it reminds me of a place I never want to go again. That is definitely true.

My sleep has gotten better and I continue to work on my sleep hygiene. (winding down at 10 pm, turning off computers and anything too stimulating) I also have an anti-anxiety medicine which helps. I didn't want to take it but I had to when I wasn't getting enough sleep. Things are a better because I have slept for the past 4-5 days for at least 8 hours a night.

However, I am still plagued by guilt and shame during the day. My conscience has become very demanding which distracts me during the day. I understand Grace and forgiveness, but I still have thoughts of "self-condemnation." It's hard to explain but they are like arrows piercing me and reminding me of things I have done.

I cannot defend myself against these attacks - so I pray that God will defend me.

Obviously continual prayer is in order - you want God's help in dealing with these issues and he can give you peace about any regrets. In addition, do you get any kind of exercise? My husband and I have noticed that exercising does wonders for our stress levels. Just a walk - and it doesn't have to be vigorous to help. At least when you are taking a walk, you have the bonus of taking things in. I live in a neighborhood, so I don't see a lot of relaxing country type things. I do see kids playing, people coming and going, dogs and cats. I notice the wind in the trees or grass. It gives me some time to process some of what has been on my mind and time to talk with the Lord. Then the whole hormonal thing that exercise causes - all those things work together and I feel much better after a walk.

I do not know you or your life so I'll just put this out there. Ask yourself, we don't need to know - are you doing all you can to serve God? He is not obligated to help us if we aren't. Plus, if you aren't, he may be trying to get your attention. Pray about why you are having this insommnia - if he is trying to show you something, or if there is a medical cause. If you are doing all you know to serve the Lord, then as his child, give him those thoughts of self-condemnation. Jesus went to the cross for your sins, they shouldn't be tormenting you now. Give them back to him.

Are you able to find some extra church services, maybe a revival somewhere? If not at your church, maybe your pastor knows of one going on now or soon? I always feel so good after revival meetings - especially during times of stress or anxiety. I remember a time that I was under such stress, I wanted to run away somewhere, not only to get away from my problems, but to get somewhere I could pray and really seek the Lord without the interuptions of life. I did not get away until a year later when I went to a campmeeting for the first time in my life, but I spent my year, as best I could, reading the Bible and praying. I was a Christian, had been for years, but those times of turmoil that I thought would destroy me brought me closer to God. I never dreamed I could find the peace I found, but glory to God, he gave me such peace in my life. I was amazed at the things the Lord showed me. I would pick up the Bible and it was truly the living word. He would show me something so vividly in the Bible that applied to my life and then I would hear a gospel song and it would speak to me. Then I would hear a preacher or a testimony and it all worked together to build my faith and to show me the things of God. Then finally a year later I attended a campmeeting and my experience there with the Lord was so wonderful. Sometimes we go through things to bring us closer to the Lord. Romans 8:28 basically says that God will use the things in our lives for our good. How can that be - we go through horrible times and we are made better by them. Romans 8:28 KJV "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27 KJV

Hope this helps, I know it is awful to go through insommnia.

I used to battle with a whole truckload of guilt and shame. I understand how tormenting that is. Eventually I decided to let God decide how guilty I am and how much shame I carry before Him. Because I'm not God. Only He is. There are decisions I don't get to make, no matter how I feel. God gets to say what I'm guilty for, what I've been forgiven for, what's in the past and gone and what I still need to go make right, if anything. We put ourselves through a lot of trouble when we assume God's authority over ourselves and want to become our own judges, because we actually set ourselves in competition with God, who alone is Judge of all.

If your struggle is anything like mine was, then it's not about guilt and shame. It's ultimately about control and authority and who gets to have the final word. And in reality and truly, the final word about any matter should always rest with God.

Hi I am not a mod or even an expert or anything. I feel for you and hear your stress I wanted to suggest that you contact a Christian counseiling center they sometimes have a sliding scale and or may see you for free..This is not a healthy way to live as you know with no sleep and all the stress ..Also you may want to remember that God said as far as the East if from the West ...so far has he removed our imquity from us....thus sins...so as long as you are sorry and told Jesus ..he forgot the stuff you did those 10 years...YOU may need help though a Christian counseler to help YOU let it go cause God sure did when he was on the cross...Hugs

Have you tried reading your Bible in bed right before you go to sleep? It's amazing how it can get your thoughts off of everything else and focused on God, filling your heart with peace and rest.
Still praying for you.

I used to battle with a whole truckload of guilt and shame. I understand how tormenting that is. Eventually I decided to let God decide how guilty I am and how much shame I carry before Him. Because I'm not God. Only He is. There are decisions I don't get to make, no matter how I feel. God gets to say what I'm guilty for, what I've been forgiven for, what's in the past and gone and what I still need to go make right, if anything. We put ourselves through a lot of trouble when we assume God's authority over ourselves and want to become our own judges, because we actually set ourselves in competition with God, who alone is Judge of all.

If your struggle is anything like mine was, then it's not about guilt and shame. It's ultimately about control and authority and who gets to have the final word. And in reality and truly, the final word about any matter should always rest with God.

Ahhh ... this is important. As I read what you wrote I realized that I have set myself up to be "judge" when God has reserved to himself that authority exclusively. Through Jesus, God specifically promised that if we are faithful to confess our sins that he would forgive us. But I have taken it upon myself to usurp his authority as my judge which has made it impossible for me to accept his forgiveness. (And also to forgive myslf.) I have become my own jailer.

A few weeks ago I went to see my pastor and we talked a little about Job. He quoted a passage from Job, "... for I know that my Redeemer liveth, and at the latter day he shall stand upon the Earth ..." which reminded me that Jesus stands in the breech for all sin for all time. Not just some ... and not just some of the time. All ... forever.

I did manage to finish studying and take the exam. It will be 2 months before I know if I passed. I don't feel good about it, but I did the best I could do. If I have to take it again I will be all the wiser.

I am so glad to hear back from you. I'm so glad you are finding peace about the matter as you let God have true control.

Very freeing, isn't it? :hug:

Hi I am not a mod or even an expert or anything. I feel for you and hear your stress I wanted to suggest that you contact a Christian counseiling center they sometimes have a sliding scale and or may see you for free..This is not a healthy way to live as you know with no sleep and all the stress ..Also you may want to remember that God said as far as the East if from the West ...so far has he removed our imquity from us....thus sins...so as long as you are sorry and told Jesus ..he forgot the stuff you did those 10 years...YOU may need help though a Christian counseler to help YOU let it go cause God sure did when he was on the cross...Hugs

Thanks for the suggestion. I have been going to the Pastoral Counseling Center since last summer. I stopped at the first of the year to save money. I am working part-time now so I will go back if the need arises. I think the crises has passed for now.

Have you tried reading your Bible in bed right before you go to sleep? It's amazing how it can get your thoughts off of everything else and focused on God, filling your heart with peace and rest.
Still praying for you.

Thanks. I do read the Bible some before I go to sleep, but not every night. When I do read it I find I sleep better.