May 10th 2012, 01:56 AM
:cry::B Well, let me try to explain this strange thing that just happenend to me about an hour ago...I suffer from Scrupulosity (a form of OCD) and I have been on medication for 10 or more years...well Ive never had this particular thought and I was sitting in my recliner watching the news and 'WHAM' this awful thought came out of nowhere and I am too embarassed and scared to tell you exactly what it was..but it went like this:
Satan cant give me ________ and of course its something terrible that would kill me. I have had thoughts like this about God...such as God cant give me______... and I know God can give us anything bad or good...but that thought made my heart race and I became very afraid and it just kept coming over and over like a tape player and I would try to change it and say Scripture verses and etc. and it did no good...now I feel like a failure and I feel like I am doomed...that now my life is over....so how much power exactly does Satan have? does he have to go through God before anything "bad" can touch us or what? I mean I need some advice, please, this thought has me extremely upset, and scared and I feel like I'm crazy for not being able to get rid of thoughts I dont want or mean to have....its like I have NO control over thoughts that come into my mind..they just come from out of the "blue" and I am like oh my gosh..where has this come from??? and why???? and then I repeatedly pray out loud if I am by myself and ask God to please forgive me and please know that I dont truly mean or want those thoughts and to please make them go away and stop and to please bring me Peace of mind that only God can give me...and I just have to keep saying Please God forgive me over and over...its nerve racking and unsetteling to have thoughts such as this and others to come into my mind and drive me crazy or at least thats how I feel...and I am like why cant I be "normal" whatever normal is...and think things that are good and true and healthy..towards myself and towards God...and if I have to have these thoughts I would much rather them be against me, myself than for them ever to be about or against God and the Holy Spirit...but as much as I hate to admit, alot of times they are about and against and they are awful, intrusive, unwanted sick, insane thoughts , towards God and about God and controlling thoughts towards God...ALL WHICH I DO NOT MEAN...OHH they drive me nuts!!! and then the thoughts are self-destructive thoughts towards myself...always wishing bad things against myself and etc...and believe me I have enough mental/physical problems I sure dont need any more right now....and these thoughts are just soo bizarre and unwanted...I know they have got be me a "mental disorder" (OCD) and also for the evil one
Satan! but how do I make them go away and leave me alone? and how do I cope with them, if I cant make them go away? and how do I stay sane through all this "mental sickness"...my husband and I are both on disability so I cant afford to go to another counselor ( I have been to a whole lot in the past and even Hospital stays) but none has really helped...I went to our mental health office that is based on your pay..and those people that work there seem crazier than me and I didnt like the atmosphere or the way the counselor acted or treated me ..so thats not an option...any advice,,,please help...because I dont mean these thoughts and I really want to get well physically and mentally if its Gods will...and I do love God with all my heart and I want to live for him and do his will the best that I can with his help...but where and what do i do??? thanks in advance for any and all help...and please keep me in your prayers..that these thoughts will leave in Jesus name...thank you!:cry::confused
May 10th 2012, 02:53 AM
It is good to meet you.
This sounds like a very difficult thing to deal with.
Satan was not allowed to touch Job until getting permission from God, and even then, God would gave specific parameters as to what he was not allowed to do or was permitted to do.
In the end, Job said: before I had only heard ABOUT God, but now, I have MET HIM!
So while satan was permitted to harass Job in different ways, great good for Job's soul came of it.
Also, Jesus told Peter: Satan has ASKED PERMISSION to sift you like wheat.
Yes, he has to have permission.
God sees what is in our hearts. These thoughts are not what is in your heart, they are harassment's. You have told Him this is not how you feel in your heart (which He already knows anyway what is really in your heart.)
I think you just have to tell God you don't understand what this is all about, but that you most certainly trust Him to see to it all. Sometimes He allows harassment's to continue that we have prayed to be free from, to test if we will trust Him in spite of them and through them.
I have given you the verses that show satan has to ask permission to harass us. Will you trust God through it even though you can't see why He would allow it yet?
May 10th 2012, 04:17 AM
Friend, I think its the devil TRYING TO SCARE YOU. Listen Sweetie, satan has no power over a Child of God. He must get permission, and I agree with awestruckchild, above. God knows you are not putting these thoughts into your own mind. Just please try to calm down, and know that satan can't harm you. You love the Lord, so that makes you a natural enemy to satan.
There are some people that I believe satan says this about each morning, "oh no! She's awake again! I've got to torment her." Just trust in God no matter what thoughts come to you. Just tell satan, out loud, that he is a liar! He can't even do one thing without first getting permission from Almighty God, whom you serve and love!
Calm down, pray and rest in the knowledge that God knows all about it and he loves you SO much. He really does!
And friend, I love you too, and I'm praying. I promise.
May 10th 2012, 07:40 AM
I wish I could tell you exactly how to get over those thoughts but I can't. Its a process that involves prayer. It must have been God because one day I just got tired of satan's crap. Because that's what those thoughts are: crap. Spam mail.
I got over the fear of it when I realized God wasn't waiting with baited breath to see how I would handle it. He was just hoping I would pray about it and put it behind me.
I still get thoughts that I've learned to ignore but now there's this confidence I have that removes fear and panic.
I'll be praying for you.
May 10th 2012, 07:45 AM
You're not hanging from the church rafters . . . if you're a Christian this is the worst it will ever get.
When you go to pray for help with that or any thought pray the full thought. I know it feels unclean but I assure you that God isn't going to blush. Don't keep anything from Him. He's more powerful than that thought or rebellion itself.
May 10th 2012, 11:16 AM
I constantly battle with negative thoughts also, but just learned that Satan tells us as humans 3 main lies and that is his job to decieve us as John 10:10 states that he came to kill, steal and destroy.
These lies are placing the following thoughts:
We are powerless over our circumstances
We are a victim of an unjust God
We are left here to suffer
But none of this is true, but the WORD of GOD is truth:
Quoted from God's Word
Joh 8:32 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Joh 14:12 "I can guarantee this truth: Those who believe in me will do the things that I am doing. They will do even greater things because I am going to the Father.
So we are not powerless, we are not victims and we are not here to suffer. It may seem like we are at the time, but that is only thoughts and feelings arising, the truth is God has given us authority to do many things.
We cannot continue believing the lies satan places in our minds, although easier said then done at times, but to keep on reminding oneself of God's promises given to us recorded in His Word, helps me to overcome, sometimes not immediatly but with time. To learn not to respond to these thoughts is a continues process. Each time a thought or feeling arise we can rely on scriptures and quote them if needed, and if we keep on resisting the devil, he will flee. This does not mean that he will keep on trying his luck, but if we do not open the door each time he knocks, he will eventually get tired of not achieving anything.
Numbers 23:19 says that God does not lie, and He cannot because He is truth. God is not a God of destruction, but satan knows how to kill, destroy and steal and he uses people to acomplish it.
You see thoughts can eventually become deadly emotions and our body reacts to it.
Since the begining of time satan lied to Adam and Eve and he is working in the very same way still. I still fall for that trick often, then feel the regret, guilt and shame, but through prayer God can remove the regret, guilt and shame.
Our minds receive and processes information from this world, so I guess that if we want to renew our mind the only way to do it is to rather receive and process information from the TRUTH and for me that is God's Word.
I don't know if all of this makes sense as I still battle with this whole renewal of the mind thing, but I can say that by reading the truth daily, it is adding to clearer thinking, falling less into temptation and find it easier at times to walk away from satans accusations. We have aHeavenly Father who cares for us, and He knows that we are tempted by satan by placing all kinds of troubles, thoughs and ideas in our minds and lives, but God is the only one that can reveal the real truth to us.
May 10th 2012, 11:38 AM
Real life example that I have used from Gods word to help me through intrusive thoughts---
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
It is active faith/trust/belief in His Word when I feel powerless to deal with something intrusive, He has all power.
Deciding to believe what He says brings forth hope unto deliverance for me---
May 10th 2012, 02:49 PM
Jeanie, I am praying for you :hug: You've already gotten some good advice, trust that God is listening to your heart, and He knows these thought are being pushed onto you. As I read your post, I was reminded of a hymn that's based on Isaiah 43, here's a verse you can hold onto. I pray you find peace in it.
When you walk through the waters, I'll be with you, you will never fall beneath the waves. Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are mine!
blessings to you :hug:
May 11th 2012, 04:06 AM
:hug:Just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who replied...it really did help and meant alot to me, thank you again for caring enough to share and for praying for me! God Bless You All!!:blushhap:
May 11th 2012, 07:39 AM
Jeanie, human man encounters with so many things that sometimes makes us think so little of ourselves and that makes it so hard to love ourselves, but God HE loves us for who we are and He teaches us daily that it is okay to also love ourselves. So, next time you feel guilty again concerning a thought that arises, you can tell yourself that it is okay, it is just a thought and that you Jeanie are still loved.
You see the difference between temptation and sin is, temptation is a thought (and sometimes they are the most horrible wicked thoughts), but giving into that thought eventaully becomes sin. But so also we must be careful of what we allow into our minds. I have learned that there is simple things such as certain tv programs, music or reading material that makes my mind run in the wrong directions, so I am watchful to what I read, look or listen too. Maybe thats some useless advice, but it works for me. (also suffering with psychosis)
Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggle so we may also learn from them.
Jun 5th 2012, 03:36 AM
Dear Angel, I can tell you that you are in some good company. John Bunyan suffered from what you do, also Martin Luther and myself. I don't consider myself to be in their category but I am good company. About a year and a half ago I suffered one of the worst attacks of scrupulousity (OCD aimed at faith and faith issues.) Like John Bunyan, I fell into despair because I doubted that I posessed genuine saving faith. I had never gone through such debilitating anxiety and fear as I did then. This doesn't sound like what you are going through but I can tell you along with the doubts came these intrusive thoughts. Several years ago I had had such disgusting thoughts toward God and His Son. For some reason, although I had not had any counselling at the time, I did not accept these thoughts as coming from me. This is a huge key. This is a physical problem and has to be dealt with as such. Having said that I would also stress that God must be included. I pray daily for right thinking, understanding, truth and the revelation of wrong thinking. I can tell you that God has answered that prayer in an amazing way. It's difficult for anyone who doesn't suffer from this disorder to understand what we go through so I've come up with the best way I could think of to describe it and that is that my mind has gone from an F5 tornado to a gentle breeze. When I learned to see these thoughts as not coming from me, (I know God does not give us anxious or condeming thoughts) it's almost as though I became a spectator of my own mind. I began to see these thoughts forming, and I learned not to empower them. These thoughts seem to form with the purpose of causing a reaction in us and when we react with fear or anxiousness it feeds these thoughts and they tend to intensify. Over time I have learned to recognize these thoughts immediately and not give them power and they pass. I am at this place through counselling, medication and the grace of God. Looking back to Feb. of 2011 I can honestly say I am so grateful to God for allowing this into my life. I had no idea how destructive my thinking had been because it had been such a part of my life for so long. God was in total control of the depths that I fell to and many times in the middle of the most terrible times, gently released me and brought peace. In the beginning He had to do that many times because I had not learned to deal with this but as time went on I gradually began to not be knocked down so terribly by my thoughts. I don't take credit for this recovery, I just see this as the way God tends to deal with us. I'm not sure if you're still looking at this thread but if you see this and have questions I'm more than happy to talk about this. I'm sure it will be a lifelong battle but one we'll win by the grace of God.