miepie

We live in a time of insecurities....... you only have to look to the news to know that...... but for some people the time is even more insecure...... for me for instance..... with my disease it's impossible to say whether this will be my last Christmas or whether there will be another one.......
We try to forget that as we plan the activities..... due to my deterioration this year, no heavy activities are possible...... but we can do other things instead..... we try very hard to make it ...

As if my life wasn't exciting enough, Daddy gave me a new challenge...... well I know that He literally didn't give it to me, as it is part of my disease, but I am sure He is leaning back and watching me solve this problem....... with a big smile on His Face, expecting the best of me.....
And that's exactly what He's going to get..... if anyone thinks that I am going to get defeated by this, they are wrong.......
My new challenge is the fact that lifting up my arms is almost impossible ...

Oh no, not another one...... oh yes it is..... no matter how hard I tried last night, I couldn't sleep...... too much pain and uncomfortable laying down...... poor hubbie was sleepless too..... was talking about everything with me..... about how we deal with this, how we are going to change our life so I can sleep when I can, how he was celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving in America, about where Thanksgiving came from, about life as a teenager in his town......... and still no sleep...... stopped ...

What do you do when your pain gets hard to be treated and the doc doesn't know what to do anymore? When it seems that whatever you do, from lots of meds (around 50 a day) and morphine plasters till bathing every day in hot water, simply doesn't work anymore? What are you going to do then? Are you going to scream, get depressed, be angry at God for not healing you? Or are you going the other way; trying to deal with it the best way you can, enjoy the moments it's a little lesser and try to concentrate ...

It's difficult, but I am trying to face reality that my pain has gone up once again. My bladder is especially hurting these days and hinders me a lot in what I am doing. Most afternoons we sleep now because Charles isn't doing too good either...... The weather has its influence on his arthritis, it's rainy and humid weather here.......
On a positive note I am able to do some things, although not much and I don't make my goals right now.... I am just taking it easy day by day and if I don't ...