EaglesWINGS911

That is exactly how I feel. I dont understand why any of this stuff is happening. I'm so tired and I'm sick of feeling like crap when I wake up in the morning. I'm fighting, I'm listening to praise music, reading my Bible, praying, and reading Christian books. I need God to fill up my heart, my mind, my soul. I need more and more and more and still more of him. Because I am so lost. I have been slowly fading away and I have lost my first real love. I have been so dissapointed and so heartbroken...all ...

It's been quite a while since I have written anything here. So I thought I would update and share my thoughts a little.
A lot has happened since I last posted. I got a new job, started college, and was in a relationship for a while that didn't work out. I've made some mistakes the past few months. Sometimes I know I've probably been running from the Lord. Sometimes I felt pain I thought would ultimately kill me. However he has brought me through it all. I'm not a perfect Christian and I continue ...

I say that I am over him and have days where I "feel" over him, and tonight has not been one of those times.
I am still not over the pain, the complete betrayel of everything I thought that he was and the multitude of lies I was told.
I am not over the memories which were once so precious to me but now are like ashes after a housefire.
I have moments of strength, of happiness, of contentment. And then there are times like tonight when I miss the person I always called ...

I am so tired. I haven't written all week because there has been so much going on. Monday night, Ethan my 10 yr old nephew broke his arm and had to be rushed into surgery. I knew he would be ok, but it still scared the heck outta me, him having to be under anesthesia and all. We went to the hospital to be with my sis-in-law since my brother was out of town at the Academy. When we got to the hospital it was after dark and the building lights just glowed, the parking lot was dimly lit and inside there ...

Oh brother, where do I begin??? Blessings come and then something else happens and I have another set of problems in my lap. I was working on my fiancee's bday present night before last and I started feeling bad...I was also trying to study for the drivers permit. Well, I got really sick that night and couldn't take the test, and I have felt bad ever since. I've been so doped up on Benadryl and Tylenol it's not funny.
Then of course, the enemy in his kindness, pummels me with stuff. Fiancee ...