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  1. Disciplining Things I'm Proud Of...

    Today while my wife and I were eating breakfast I heard the jingling sound of my keys. Seeing as how my 3.5 month old daughter was sleeping, not to mention incapable of doing any other physical activity outside of rolling over and throwing up on her and anyone within range, I naturally rounded up the usual suspects--my son. He's 18 months old and is starting to really figure out how to get into things.



    As I went to scold him for getting my keys (again) my wife ...
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  2. In Whom I am Well Pleased...

    I never thought that I would be so proud of someone taking a pee in all my life. However, that emotion has now been ascribed to that act in a way that I'll never forget. No, I don't have a family member suffering from a watermelon sized prostate that managed to release a couple drops of relief. Instead, it was my son.



    The other night we were playing when he grabbed his diaper, said, "potty" and ran into the bathroom. We put the special lid on for him ...
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  3. Mothers Are NOT Human!!!

    I've realized something about women: during child birth when the fetus leaves the body something amazing and indescribable happens. Right about the time when the doctor tosses the slimy, still attached and bloody baby on the mother's stomach like a proud fisherman tossing his catch into a boat to get a good look at it, something changes in a woman's genetic makeup. Her DNA, like, transubstantiates its molecular structure into that of some sort of half-human, half-mutant-superhero chick. All ...
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  4. Generous Or Diabolical Genius?

    One concern my wife and I had about having our children 14 months apart would be jealousy. My son loves attention (he gets that from his daddy) and will do anything to get it. Much to our surprise he seems to really like his little sister and gets frustrated that she won't play with him even though she's only four months old.


    However, over the last couple of weeks we've seen him gagging her with the straw of his water cup trying to get her to drink out of it, give her one ...
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  5. Stay Within The Line...OR DIE!!!

    There's something that has begun to drive me absolutely crazy as I've come into parenthood. Something so annoying and inconvenient that it makes this "Bruce Banner" want to morph into his counterpart: when people park over their line in a parking lot. It may not seem like a big deal to them or many other people. However, as a parent with two children in car seats it is such an annoyance that I begin fuming at the sight of it.


    If it weren't for my wife and kids ...
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