BibleForums Christian Message Board - Blogs - miepie http://bibleforums.org/blog.php/3274-miepie A free online Christian Community. Active, moderated Christian Message Board. en Wed, 22 May 2013 21:32:08 GMT vBulletin 60 http://bibleforums.org/images/misc/rss.jpg BibleForums Christian Message Board - Blogs - miepie http://bibleforums.org/blog.php/3274-miepie An afternoon at the zoo! http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/2517-An-afternoon-at-the-zoo! Fri, 17 Sep 2010 10:52:22 GMT
Quote Originally Posted by miepie View Post
I'd like to praise Daddy for the wonderful afternoon that we had in the zoo yesterday! We were invited by Tina and her boyfriend Willem to go with them and it was great! Here's a report:

The weather looked good until we were in the zoo and every now and then it rained a little bit and one time it rained real heavy......... they had a lot of trees there and little houses where you could watch the animals and stop for the rain........ but it rained also when we were in open spots so I got soaking wet anyway....... I had my quilt on my legs so that prevented my legs to get wet, and Tina regularly held an umbrella over me too..... but my hands were wet anyway but it only added to the fun we had......
When we got at the zoo, they were feeding the penguins, but they were not hungry! The care-taker said that when it's going from warm to colder weather they don't eat as much until they're used to it....... they were very cute though and we have some nice pics of us with penguins and only penguins...... Willem, Tina's boyfriend made beautiful ones too! We saw all kinds of animals from owls to flamingo's and more and see-bears and otters and racoons and lots of different monkeys...... what I wanted to see (since they didn't have girafs) was the lemurs..... I love those, and they have a special island where they can come to you........ well they didn't, they were all up high in a tree and refusing to come down.......
However, there was another kind of monkey on the island who were MUCH more curious....... they looked at me and were intrigued by my shoes....... they would come closer and stand up to my shoes (I have my legs straight) and grab my shoe with their little hands and bite in it! :lol: That was soooooooo nice! Charles made a bunch of pics of those....... after they were tired of me, they went for Tina's umbrella, climbing up and down on it! We could have stayed there for hours, but we wanted to see more animals, like the kangeroos (who came pretty close too, those are big animals too!) so we had to be careful to leave the island, as we were afraid the monkeys would come with us........
It was this monkey...... ain't he cute?



After we've been through the zoo, we went to drink something in the restaurant and then we went to the animals inside (varying from crocodile to iguana and bats, turtles and snakes) and then I called the taxi and we went back home........

It was a very very nice afternoon! I loved doing it! :pp And Charles loved it too, especially the penguins...... for me the highpoint of the afternoon were those monkeys..... I'll treasure those memories forever and I will print the one that Charles made of me with them eating my shoes........

Thanks Daddy for treating us to such a nice afternoon! I love You! :kiss:

Love you all lots,
Mieke :kiss:
]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/2517-An-afternoon-at-the-zoo! Why I still have Daddy in my life http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/2061-Why-I-still-have-Daddy-in-my-life Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:54:14 GMT I am severely disabled, I can't walk or stand and some more things, and I am bedridden and most of the time a shutin......... I have been like this for a decade now, although in the beginning I was able to get out of bed easier and do things, which is now impossible...... 99% of the time I am in my bed now and the 1% that I do go out is to take a shower mostly or to get my bowels flushed....... once a week I am outside for an hour, as we do our shopping then...... my husband pushes my wheelchair (am not able to steer an electric wheelchair anymore due to armproblems) and we go downstairs (we live on top of a small shoppingcentre) and we do everything as quickly as possible, as it's very difficult for me to be in that wheelchair for long times (like an hour or so) and even then it's payback time with extra pains.......... Day in day out I get tormented with heavy pains, and doing things even as simple as sitting up can cause me hours of extreme pain later........ or at the same moment......

Ok, enough complaining here, it will be clear by now where I am coming from saying I have a difficult life......

I still find it worth living in spite of all the pain and disability........ BECAUSE God is in my life..... without Him, I'd give up immediately.......
Pain and disease are a part of living in this world...... and yes I do believe God could heal me instantly if He wanted to, but apparently He has a reason why He doesn't....... and I know at least one of them, but even though I didn't know those for a while, it still wasn't separating me from God anyway.......
Oh yes, I have been angry at Him for a while, but I realised also how empty and meaningless my life was without Him....... and turned back to Him, and He welcomed me back wholeheartedly...... and we have been a "team" ever since....... this was before I was completely bedridden......
To me it's not important anymore that God doesn't heal me....... to me it's important that He USES my disease to help other people...... for one thing I have a prayercard-ministry where I make cards that I pray over while making it and sending it out to the person I have been praying for....... I live in Europe, but my main area is the USA...... there's so much need for prayers that I am always running behind and have a waitinglist....... and like that there are more reasons why God can still use me...... He's been using me as an example to other people as well...... for different reasons.......
This all means that my disease has a purpose...... and I am not suffering in vain.......
Besides all of this, it is so helpful and comforting to know that God is in my life...... He shows His Presence on a regular basis in my life....... I have had experiences where He has taken away my pains for a short while or strengthened me..... it may seem like a coincidence, but I KNOW it is my Father doing these things.......
So shortly said, He took a life that became useless due to diseases, and made it into a life that is worth more than I can explain in words.......
I love my Father more than anything else in this world....... I will always love Him, no matter what happens in my life....... because of what He IS....... and not because of what He has DONE for me........ although I will always be grateful for what He did with my life and even more so for giving His Son to die on the cross so I can have eternal life...... that is THE most beautiful thing He has done for me........ and He did if for you too, whether you believe it or not........ :hug:

Love you all,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/2061-Why-I-still-have-Daddy-in-my-life Light at the End of the Tunnel http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/1067-Light-at-the-End-of-the-Tunnel Sat, 15 Nov 2008 12:00:11 GMT Life has been difficult lately. Lots of pain on my part and Charles' throat infection, were enough to keep us from sleeping. Furthermore, my parents are both struggling with their health; My mom with her joints and my dad has the first signs of prostate cancer. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The study that I'm doing to learn to pray more efficiently got stuck when I had to pray God's will for my life. It took me a few days but then I could pray "Your will Daddy, not mine." After that prayer things started to change. After a long period of silence, Daddy started to talk to me again. He has given me specific assignments, like studying the Bible and taking better care of myself. We have high hopes that the pain will lessen. So far it has led to a better sleeping pattern. Charles' throat is slowly healing, but he still needs prayers for a complete healing. Please pray that my pain will lessen and that we will have a better quality of life.

Love you all,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/1067-Light-at-the-End-of-the-Tunnel Challenges http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/938-Challenges Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:11:13 GMT It seems that the sicker I get, the more challenging my life becomes and the more I want to study. It always seems that I'm running out of time and that I want to do so much more before I pass away. I received some great books for my birthday. One is to learn more about heaven, another is to learn to pray better and the third is a study on the book of Proverbs. I'm studying the book about heaven together with Charles, the prayer book on my own and the Proverbs study together with an online friend. Together with my one year Bible, I hope this will satisfy my desire to learn more. I expect another book from America and have gift certificates to buy more books if I so desire.
The best birthday gift I received was a webcam connection to the church that Charles and I recently joined. We had a wonderful service in the morning (in the afternoon, our time) and in the evening (In the night, our time). Tonight we're going to watch the evening service. I really enjoy these services. We love the singing and from what we can hear and understand of the sermons, they are very good. It's very informal and they involve us in the service also. It's nice to be in the same church as Project Peter and Jennifer and have the parson as our pastor. I look forward to more of these services! :pp
If you read this, we appreciate prayers for our situation. It's difficult, but with God's help, we'll get through it.

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/938-Challenges Dreams or a revelation http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/554-Dreams-or-a-revelation Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:42:59 GMT Sometimes I don't understand why I have to suffer and I get rebellious and angry that this disease is happening to me, especially after a dream where I can do a lot of things..... it happened to me the other day..... I was riding my bike, running at the beach and woke up to see I was still confined to my bed and depending on Charles to get me things...... getting out of the house is a problem, let alone going to the beach...... so I was a bit depressed yesterday......

Then He gave me another dream where I couldn't use my arms anymore and I was living in a nursinghome with Charles and needed help with everything..... and I woke up and was happy and relieved to find that it was a dream and that I still could use my hands...... this dream made my depression melt like snow before the sun and made me very grateful.....

Talking about my dreams with some friends led me to thinking some things and I took it into prayer to Daddy...... and while talking to a friend again He suddenly revealed something to me..... He is not healing me because He doesn't like me or because I do something wrong...... He is not healing me out of love...... Healing would mean getting away from Him going back into the big real world and not having the time I have for Him now...... He chose me to suffer for Him because He knew I would be able to handle it and would praise Him all along..... yet on the other hand He is loving me so much that He is protecting me from that big real world and keeps me safe in my own world where all the time in the world is for Him..... and where we can talk when either one of us feels like it and do Biblestudy on a time that we please...... if you look at it that way, I am extremely blessed...... it's a chance of a lifetime........ and looking at it like this I feel like praising Him even more....... I love You Daddy! :pray:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/554-Dreams-or-a-revelation Praise Daddy for His Blessings and for wonderful friends! http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/437-Praise-Daddy-for-His-Blessings-and-for-wonderful-friends! Mon, 07 Jan 2008 12:18:10 GMT We've had a difficult time for a few weeks now..... not being able to sleep well, not being able to do much in the daytime..... Charles is doing ok once he starts moving, although he's hurting, but I just can't get myself to do much at all...... I usually sleep the day away because I am just too tired to do anything....... so I felt quite blessed at Christmas when I could embroider for a while, and about a week ago I could embroider a little bit again......... The last week was very rough on me and I hardly could sit up...... and it seemed like it would be just another day like that today....... not sleeping well last night and having lots of pain in my bladder and hardly able to sit up, so I laid down again when Charles had lifted me with the elevator in my "daily" bed.......

Yet, God had other plans with me today...... After a short nap He has lifted me up again! I thought yesterday was a coincidence that I could make two cards in the evening and I considered that a HUGE blessing (I want to thank Him for that too!) but I feel ok now too and I am going to embroider again today! I look so much forward to that! Even though the morning is gone already, I got some time till it's time for the daily treatment (flushing of the colon, which only takes half an hour anyway) and going to the bath at 7, so I am going to spend that time on my embroidery and if I can't do that anymore, I am going to make another card!

I also want to emphasize that even though we are having troubled and hard days lately, we do feel Daddy's Presence through it all....... we have wonderful friends here, praying for us and sending us all kinds of gifts for which we are VERY grateful, but we also have the extreme feeling of the bond between me, Charles and Daddy...... it's a very strong union that seems to be able to handle anything on our path...... sometimes we're a bit frustrated, but most of the time we're handling it with a smile and a lot of love....... Daddy blessed us with a strong love for each other and for Him, so that gets us through anything even though it seems unable to overcome at first.......

I also want to thank Daddy for the friends who got together and sent me a precious gift of voice recognition software, so that when I have upgraded my computer in a few weeks, I will be able to talk and don't have to type with my hands anymore...... I am so grateful for that and I feel very honoured to be so loved on the site....... this way I can continue to be there for you all and I have more plans that take some writing, like writing prayers again, which I miss but can't do at the moment, but that will be possible again in the future! :pp So thank you all very very much! :kiss:

So in spite of the bad days that we're experiencing, we have still so much to be grateful for...... and I want to praise Him for that today!

Praise to You Daddy! I love You! :pray:

I want to finish with my favourite psalm of lately:

Psalm 147:1-20
Praise ye the Lord: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.
[2] The Lord doth build up Jerusalem: he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel.
[3] He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
[4] He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.
[5] Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.
[6] The Lord lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground. [7] Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
[8] Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
[9] He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.
[10] He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
[11] The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
[12] Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem; praise thy God, O Zion.
[13] For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates; he hath blessed thy children within thee.
[14] He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
[15] He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth: his word runneth very swiftly.
[16] He giveth snow like wool: he scattereth the hoar frost like ashes.
[17] He casteth forth his ice like morsels: who can stand before his cold? [18] He sendeth out his word, and melteth them: he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow.
[19] He sheweth his word unto Jacob, his statutes and his judgments unto Israel.
[20] He hath not dealt so with any nation: and as for his judgments, they have not known them. Praise ye the Lord.

Amen! :pp

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/437-Praise-Daddy-for-His-Blessings-and-for-wonderful-friends! <![CDATA[Christmas and New Year's Eve]]> http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/382-Christmas-and-New-Year-s-Eve Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:34:22 GMT I have no problem with Christmas, but I have a problem with New Year's Eve......
With my disease I get sicker and sicker each year...... no wonder that I don't like looking back and even much lesser like looking forward, hence my problems with New Year's Eve.
I am a shutin, can do lesser and lesser and my husband who is my main caretaker has his own healthproblems. We are not the typical family (can't have kids), and it's just the two of us with our cats and birdies......

Yet, we MAKE something of those days...... we just spent the most wonderful Christmas together with a lot of sleeping, time focussing on each other, and nice bites of food (we can't afford too much either) and we had a great time! Not because of how much money we spent or how much people visited us, but because it was me, my husband and Daddy...... Daddy was, like every day, our guest of honour. It was His Birthday and we made it the best birthday we could....... although we had to cancel church this year due to our health (mostly mine). We had a lot of pain between us but made something of it...... and you know what, you forget the pain, eventually, but I won't forget how close we were. I said at the start that it was going to be the best Christmas, and I was right. It WAS the best Christmas.

Now as for New Years Eve, we are not going to fail there either. I may not like it, but we are going to make something of it, because we know it can very well be our last one. We are going to make some nice little bites, make some soup for the family (parents and brother that come the next day if the weather allows) and have the greatest expectations of the New Year for the two of us personally and are going together on a diet, well me mostly, that might help me with the pain...... and somehow doing that gives me strength........
I don't like looking back, but I am so grateful for everything Daddy did for us this year, that I will look back with gratitude and will look forward, eager to know what He has in store for us next year and how we are going to grow closer together again. I know I lost a great deal of health the past year, and I know I will lose more in the next, but I prefer not to look back or forward at that. I prefer to focus on Daddy. And if you look back or forward to that, you can't go wrong ever. No doubt it will be the best New Year's Eve I have ever had.

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/382-Christmas-and-New-Year-s-Eve Update/living with limitations http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/370-Update-living-with-limitations Sun, 23 Dec 2007 20:26:25 GMT Today has been another difficult day. Lots of sleeping to forget the pain with very vivid dreams that I can't remember anymore.... it's getting harder and harder to deal with the pain, yet I still feel the peace God has given me..... sometimes I am a little down, but He makes sure, together with Charles, that this doesn't stay too long.....
I was talking to a friend a few days ago about my fears, and the lack of them when it's dealing with me dying. I have no fear of dying, because I know where I am going. Yet I do have fear on the way I get there. How much more pain or problematic bodyfunctions do I need to bear...... Sometimes it seems that it's only yesterday that I could walk..... and it is only a few weeks ago that I could eat myself...... now I can only eat little things every once and a while myself.
The road to Daddy is long and hard sometimes..... but there are also beautiful views when I climbed another hill...... beautiful words He gives me, or more peace, or sometimes He just takes the pain away...... He's so awesomely present in my life.......
So what we do, my husband and I, is just take it one day at the time and trust Daddy to work it all out for us. One day I'm in trouble with pain, the next day it's hubby...... but mostly it's me giving the most trouble..... and sometimes it's difficult for Charles to take care of me...... but we manage to do ok for now, and we try not to worry about the future....... just take it one day at the time......

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas with lots of blessings and good tidings and much love.....

Love you all,
Mieke :kiss:

P.S. The photo is from August...... will talk hubby into making some pics this Christmas, ok? :hug:
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]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/370-Update-living-with-limitations Hopie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/278-Hopie Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:11:45 GMT It was a day like any other day..... except that we were both a bit discouraged and tired of it all...... woke up to eat something and then went back to sleep because I couldn't do anything anyway and Charles was tired as well, so he took a nap too....... I was about to give up hope...... accepting that this was about the end of my life...... I was hurting so much and no one could solve it..........

Then the doorbell rang..... a big package arrived at our doorstep........ I opened the package and there he was: Hopie.... about a foot and a half long giraf filled with a pack in his belly that you can heat in the microwave and then he can warm you......... we tried it out and he warmed my cold feet.........

But he did so much more..... he gave me hope again....... hope knowing that someone was praying for us and that we couldn't give up..... I looked at the photo's I have of my friends and the beautiful girafcalender that Jacque made and the photo of Becky and Daniel that came the same day as Hopie (a gift from them) arrived....... and I felt so blessed........

It took me another day but now I am back in the "let's make something from my life-mode" and instead of laying down all day feeling sorry for myself...... trying to make cards again and I need to learn to embroider again, for just today I bought a magazine with embroiderypatterns and it has the perfect weddinggift for Becky and Daniel in it to embroider! So I am going to try soon to do that again....... and if I can, after I finish the Ark I am working on, that will be my next big project! :pp

I am not able to send everyone a Christmascard this year...... or they may get one later than Christmas but I am thinking of you all! And whenever I get a little down, I look at Hopie next to my computer and remember again I have something to fight for........ with the help of Daddy and Charles I can do this, and I will! I lost my will to fight, but refound it again..... and that all because of Hopie....... :pray:

Thanks Becky & Daniel...... you've done more for me than you could imagine..... and I love you both for it and Hopie is a reminder to continue to pray for the two of you! :hug: :pray:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/278-Hopie What I have learned from my disease http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/249-What-I-have-learned-from-my-disease Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:14:43 GMT I have always been a Christian, but I drifted away from God in the beginning that I found out I had this disease because of my unbelieving exhusband and because I was simply angry at God for "giving" me this disease...... Since the moment I came back to Him I have learned a great deal (became a much stronger Christian too). A few things are:
- take nothing for granted..... what you can have today, can be gone tomorrow (in my case especially my physical abilities) and therefore enjoy your capabilities (within reasonable boundaries of course)
- if I feel that God is not answering me, it's because I am not open for answers; He always answers, but I don't always hear Him
- if you want God can become a very essential part of your life, you can spend your days as close to Him as you want to be, if you're open towards Him and realize that He's everywhere you are and know what you feel. I have experienced that lonely days don't exist anymore if you focus completely on Him, being bedridden gave me a chance to get to know a part of Him that not everybody can experience due to their circumstances like time, obligations and responsibilities. I don't have those, I hardly have appointments (only 1 time a day to go into the bath if I want to) or obligations and the only things I am responsible for are our finances and the shoppinglist. The finances only take so much time (not even half an hour a week) and the shoppinglist is a weekly thing we do together. The rest of my time is free for whatever I want to do with it. I'm not always with my nose in the Bible, although I do Biblestudy with Charles, but I am building a relationship with God on a "Father/child bases"..... this means that in spite that He knows everything already, I spent hours in the past talking to Him about daily events which brought me much closer to Him. Also I run to Him when I have pain or when I am scared and He sometimes calls me into His Arms too. He is always there when I have more pain than I can deal with and always answers with either strength, comfort, peace or He takes it away, but He always answers.
Furthermore what has happened lately is that when I can't do much anymore and I lay on my back not being able to move much with my arms, is that I become a fervent prayerwarrior again.... I used to be one a few years ago but that season passed and it's coming back again....... I am reconnecting to God by prayers for other people and for simply talking again about how to live the rest of my life and how scared I am about that sometimes. This is a kind of relationship a child has with her parent, and I feel very privileged that He allows me to have especially that part of a relationship with Him. I think without it I wouldn't make it right now and of course He knows that and offers me what I need to go on
- Another thing that I experienced was to learn to listen to God. I am and have been a very stubborn child but I have learned to listen more carefully to Him after He once showed me something. I wanted to get rid of the pain so badly that I went through a lot of trouble to see a new doctor who might be able to help me. I got everything almost arranged, including an appointment, when God told me not to do it. I struggled and talked about it with Charles online and he said that I couldn't go against that......... so I reluctantly called the appointment off......... until God told me it was time and I could go see the doctor, and she has helped me enormously. She can't help me much with the pain, but she's really supportive and tries to do everything she can to help me. The circumstances were much better this time than if I would have gone the first time. This time Charles was with me here and we did this together and it bonded us greatly. I now understand why I had to wait.
- I have also learned that if God wants you somewhere and you think that you know a better way, you're always wrong. Besides that you always end up where He wants you anyway, but with a lot more troubles than on the way He would have let you go. So it's better to listen to Him.
- One of the most important things I have also learned is that God has a use for you, no matter how your condition is. In my case He's using me on the internet and in real life to encourage people who don't have the positive outlook on life that I have, who are suicidal like I was in the past (I recognize a lot of me sometimes in those people) and to whom it seems they are useless..... nobody is useless for God, no matter what your life looks like, it serves a purpose...... don't ask me to find those purposes for you, you've got to find out those for yourself...... and God has also blessed me with my own little encouragementsministry where cards are send to sick people/children and people who need encouragement or have something to celebrate. It seems that when my body allows it, it's a much busier time than when my body gives out...... I think God is responsible for that..... He knows how much I can handle and sometimes I have to give an assignment back because my body simply doesn't allow it.... but that hardly happens...... I find much joy in that Ministry and I pray over every card I make, which I heard makes them very special.....

But I think the most important thing I learned is to be grateful. No matter how bad things are in your life, there are always things to be grateful for. Even if your body doesn't function right and the docs can't do anything for you, there are still so many things that deserve praising. When I got sicker I promised myself not to end up like many people with my disease that become pretty grouchy and grumpy people because they can't do something they want to do, and the fact is that I run into those things constantly. I promised to face each day with a smile if I could, be positive because I can always be grateful for something, and try to be as optimistic as I can. This attitude has not only drawn Charles to me, who said just last night how proud he is of me for staying so positive through this new ordeal, but I have lots of friends because of that. I used to be so scared of the idea that I couldn't do anything anymore and would need help with everything, and now I am arriving at that point...... there are still things I can do, but they do become lesser and lesser....... and I seem to be able to handle that most days....... because there is still something to be grateful for..... like the beautiful husband whose goal in life is to take care of me with love and affection..... God has provided for me in a huge way....... He makes our life as easy as possible, blesses us in many ways and the most beautiful blessing is that He gave me a caretaker in the form of a husband who is the best caretaker I could wish for, plus a whole team of girls of Assisted Living ready to help wherever they can...... so although I am not healing, He made sure that I am well taken care of.........

It may sound weird but frankly between us I am not desperately looking for healing anymore...... I have accepted what is happening and although healing would be nice, it's not that important anymore...... I believe I have been given the chance of a lifetime to get so close to God and I love being in His closeness all day long and with Charles all day and I am not really willing to give that up for a job in the working world again......... I don't think I am fit for the world outside anymore, I am fit for my little world and I am quite happy in it..... I am not a child anymore that wants to discover the world, I am a child of the King who is happy to be in His Presence and who discovered that no place in the world is better than in His Arms in her own bed. :pray:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/249-What-I-have-learned-from-my-disease The last Christmas http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/242-The-last-Christmas Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:53:30 GMT We live in a time of insecurities....... you only have to look to the news to know that...... but for some people the time is even more insecure...... for me for instance..... with my disease it's impossible to say whether this will be my last Christmas or whether there will be another one.......
We try to forget that as we plan the activities..... due to my deterioration this year, no heavy activities are possible...... but we can do other things instead..... we try very hard to make it to church on Christmas Eve..... it's the only time we ever come to church because it will cost me a few weeks to recover from that..... but a celebration like Christmas deserves that...... we tried to go to church with Passover/Easter too but couldn't make that.... so we try again with Christmas......
Then the rest of the days (in the Netherlands we have two) it's pj-time! Nowhere to go, no one comes to visit, just the two of us, my hubby and I and our pets to celebrate the birthday of our Saviour........ curtains stay closed, the room brightly lit and breakfast in bed...... eating all the stuff that we plan to make like oatmealcookies, yogurtpie, eggnog (never had that in my life) and fruitbowl....... and special recipes for dinner (one day beef and one day chicken)..... a real Christmastree, the house decorated with Christmasitems, his music the first day, my music the second day, and lots of hugging and kissing under the mistletoe that is so big that it covers our whole house and is invisible..... but it's clearly there..... :D
So no heavy partying for us, just us, our pets and even more important, our Daddy...... days spent in awe of Him...... and thanking Him for surviving another year to Christmas...... and making it a Christmas to remember...... celebrating it, although small, as it was the last Christmas together...... so if something happens to me next year, my husband will have lovely memories of this Christmas.......

We hope there will be at least another 10 Christmasses together...... but in case there isn't, I want my husband to look back upon this Christmas and say it was the best one he ever had....... that's my goal this Christmas.......

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/242-The-last-Christmas A new adventure or how to live with a new challenge...... http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/185-A-new-adventure-or-how-to-live-with-a-new-challenge Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:09:18 GMT As if my life wasn't exciting enough, Daddy gave me a new challenge...... well I know that He literally didn't give it to me, as it is part of my disease, but I am sure He is leaning back and watching me solve this problem....... with a big smile on His Face, expecting the best of me.....
And that's exactly what He's going to get..... if anyone thinks that I am going to get defeated by this, they are wrong.......
My new challenge is the fact that lifting up my arms is almost impossible without loads of pain..... so that means that eating myself is one thing I have to let go, and a few more things in that line...... I am quite surprised that it doesn't affect me mentally more than it does..... it's more like: Oh well, another thing to deal with, who cares...... but the truth is Daddy cares and supplies me with enough power and strength to get through this....... and just like Him I am smiling too!
I find myself wondering about how to solve some problems..... one thing I learned from my dear husband is to think in solutions, not in problems........ and see what I still can do!
So far I have come up with typing, working on the site, with some help I can still make my cards, although not in large quantities anymore, and I found myself thinking about how to embroider when I couldn't sleep and am quite anxious to try that out in the next couple of days...... I was pretty optimistic that I would gain my ability to embroider back, before I lost the ability to lift my arms, that I ordered a few booklets with new patterns, and I have someone in mind that I want to embroider one for (Karen's granddaughter) and I am pretty determined to do that too, lifting or no lifting...... :D
Also I found it very pleasing again to be praying for a lot of people when I can't do anything...... a few people have been placed on my heart to pray for and I love praying for them......
I also love doing Biblestudy with Charles, after finishing Nehemiah and Esther, we're now in Job and we do the Lectionairy every day too...... and I hope to pick up my Biblestudy on Phillipians any day soon now.......
So actually, I can still do a lot of things, just in a different way...... even petting the cat is a new challenge, but I am pleased to say that the cats pretty fast realise that if they want a pet on their head and not on their paw, they bend over their head to me, so I can pet them! Quite clever animals...... :D And I also enjoy our little birdies..... always making noise and being active..... they are fun to watch when I can't move........
Also I must admit it has something romantic when your loved one is holding an icecream cone for you....... an idea that Becky gave me.... (thanks girl!), so it's good for the marriage too......

Seriously, this is something we didn't expect..... but being the persons me and hubby are, we are not going to let this ruin our life, instead we're going to deal with it in solutions....... if one of us is going down, mostly me, the other one picks him/her up.... that's how a marriage is supposed to be, and I thank God even more for this beautiful blessing that He gave me...... the sicker I get, the more I realise what a blessing my husband is to me....... so a big Thank You to my Father, who is present through this all and blesses us in many ways on our way to Heaven! Amen! :pray:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/185-A-new-adventure-or-how-to-live-with-a-new-challenge Sleepless nights..... http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/146-Sleepless-nights Thu, 22 Nov 2007 06:26:37 GMT Oh no, not another one...... oh yes it is..... no matter how hard I tried last night, I couldn't sleep...... too much pain and uncomfortable laying down...... poor hubbie was sleepless too..... was talking about everything with me..... about how we deal with this, how we are going to change our life so I can sleep when I can, how he was celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving in America, about where Thanksgiving came from, about life as a teenager in his town......... and still no sleep...... stopped in the middle to drink some tea...... still no sleep.... and talked some more..... finally he said let's stop talking and try to sleep ok? Fine with me I said, so we stopped talking and pretty soon he was sound asleep....... but not me...... I was thinking about what we talked about for a while, petted the cat on my bed...... and wondered what I could do with the time now I couldn't reach my computer because I didn't want to move and wake hubby....... and remembered Jess whom I was praying for today and decided to pray some more for her and Jason..... after that more and more people passed in my prayers...... and even though I never slept, well maybe half an hour, I still think the end made it a very worthful night........ :)

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/146-Sleepless-nights Pain or the chance of a lifetime http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/137-Pain-or-the-chance-of-a-lifetime Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:34:58 GMT What do you do when your pain gets hard to be treated and the doc doesn't know what to do anymore? When it seems that whatever you do, from lots of meds (around 50 a day) and morphine plasters till bathing every day in hot water, simply doesn't work anymore? What are you going to do then? Are you going to scream, get depressed, be angry at God for not healing you? Or are you going the other way; trying to deal with it the best way you can, enjoy the moments it's a little lesser and try to concentrate on what you can do?
For me I chose the second way, but I fall back into the first way sometimes too....... then I get angry at my body, I get depressed and although I don't get angry at God I do cry out to Him in pain and the good thing is He always answers some kind of way.....
That's the good thing about pain rising higher than you can handle..... because you can't do much, you do things you still can do..... Charles reads me from the Bible, or I simply pray for all the people I promised to pray for and for me and Charles, that we may get through this...... Sometimes I am afraid of the future.... thinking laying on my back all day long without moving too much is something I wouldn't be able to handle..... yet those days come by more often and somehow I can handle them. But I know very well that this is not my own power, it's God working through me that I can accept those days, and when it's time to be like that all the time, He's going to help me with that too..... or maybe He'll take me Home before that happens.... who knows.....

There is a downside to all of this, or should I say, an upside....... Those days of feeling of total loss of control of things, bring me closer to Him from Whom all blessings flow........ He has blessed us greatly, He's helped us in every area possible.... it's kinda like: I'll help you with everything, but you got to get through this battle....... and somehow that's ok..... I am grateful for all His Blessings and I'm not complaining....... and it seems that when nothing matters anymore is the moment when I am the closest to my Daddy........ laying on my back, depending on Charles to do everything for me, and not being able to move much, makes me focus more on Him..... and that makes me grow spiritually so fast....... and not care about the world around me anymore, except my little world at the house....... I make plans of what I am going to do today and the pain just overthrows it all and makes it a day to get closer to Daddy again....... and it's great to see Him using that pain to bring me closer......

The reason why I can get through this pain, most of the time anyway, is because He's never not answering my prayers to Him...... He's obviously here around me, He's offering me His Arms to rest in, He's taking away pain while I am typing this, He's giving me strength to get through it, or He uses someone else to distract me from the pain or say just the right words to me...... it's an experience of a lifetime to be able to feel Him so close, to feel His Arms inviting me to rest in Him......
Not too long ago, about a week or so, I had a few days where I was very nervous and couldn't accomplish much..... later on we discovered that it was a combination of 2 meds, and I could hear Him call me into His Arms saying it was safe there....... Stopping those meds that made me nervous has big consequences. They are also my energizers, which means that I sleep half the day away recently, and not being able to do much anymore...... and then they are there again...... He's calling me to get rest in His Arms where it's safe and nothing matters anymore.......

If I could choose today for the life I have now and a life where I would be healthy, I would not go back...... I wouldn't do anything different, well except a few things here and there, but everything turned out well..... I am married to the most beautiful caring husband in the world, I have lots of friends that I never had before, I have a loving family and most of all I have Daddy Who always seems to turn bad things into right ones again....... Being on a bed all day also gives you a chance to grow closer to God that you don't have when there are other things you need to pay attention too.... I don't have those things..... the most I have to worry about are my hobbies, and sometimes a shoppinglist...... but that's about it..... Daddy takes care of the rest and Charles is an excellent caretaker, as well as the girls of Assisted Living who help me in and out of the bath every day...... Sometimes it hurts that my world became so small..... I'd love to go out to town, to do some really nice shopping...... but that's simply not in my plans anymore..... I have to be happy with what I can do, and sometimes that's a painful process....... but trading it all in for a life where other worries will occupy me, I don't know......
The bad thing about my disease is that it's painful and lifethreatening. The good news is that Daddy is faithful and that He has offered me a chance of a lifetime to get as close to Him as I am these days..... and I wouldn't want to trade that for anything........ :pray:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/137-Pain-or-the-chance-of-a-lifetime Wednesday November 21 http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/136-Wednesday-November-21 Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:05:13 GMT It's difficult, but I am trying to face reality that my pain has gone up once again. My bladder is especially hurting these days and hinders me a lot in what I am doing. Most afternoons we sleep now because Charles isn't doing too good either...... The weather has its influence on his arthritis, it's rainy and humid weather here.......
On a positive note I am able to do some things, although not much and I don't make my goals right now.... I am just taking it easy day by day and if I don't do anything on a day, so be it. I got to get used to this painlevel first before I can be more active again.......
We have been doing quite some Biblestudy, went from Nehemiah to Esther and we're doing the Daily Lectionairy too on the side...... we're also doing Psalms at the moment....... so we keep ourselves busy with that too.... I love reading in the Aramaic Bible (it's in English but it's much closer to the original language) and I learn a lot from it.
I still get my daily bath, and for my muscles it seems to do some good, but my bladder only stops hurting for half an hour when I am in the water..... as soon as I am out, it's back again..... also all the lifting with the elevators is quite a drag..... but it's the only way to get out of bed...... that's why that new wheelchair I got is a bit disappointing..... I had dreams of roaming around the house but I need an elevator to get in there and all those extra moves cost me too much right now...... so hopefully in the morning.....
Charles is watching me like a hawk so I don't end up in a depression..... it's not easy staying positive while this all is happening and he says I look so sad sometimes....... so we do more things together and I kinda like that...... the downside of that is that the housework is a bit behind but tomorrow my help is coming and she can do the rest.......
So basically we're trying to stay positive here and with the help of Daddy we still succeed, hard as it is....... so more prayers would be appreciated......

Love you all,
Mieke :kiss: ]]> miepie http://bibleforums.org/entry.php/136-Wednesday-November-21