The biggest reason I am writting this though, is to make an announcement. You will probably not understand why I am doing this and I do not expect you to at this stage. The fact is i am tired of intelectual arguments over the internet over the same issues over and over again. I don't pretend to know everything, but I am a little like an old man: set in my ways and extermely stuborn. I am unlikely to change my views based upon what I read on the internet (althought this is not impossible). I have to many things to deal with in my day-tot-day life to allow myslef to get angry or cofused (or both) about some odd comment somebody makes. (this is hard to explain)

So here it goes: Basically, until further notice, I will not be going back to the CMB for at least a year, an maybe longer. I certainly will not be making any posts. If you would be kind enough to tell the people who know me over there that this is so, that will be deeply appriciated (I should probably do it myself, but i know that would probably make it harder than it already is) believe me when I say that i do not make this decision litely. I just feel that I need to minimise the time I spend on the internet and maximise the time I spend with God, friends and family, work, etc. I might come back later but only if i am sure that i will be able to control my visits there and that I won't be drawn back into pointless arguments that go around in circles. Techniquely I am not even allowed to do this here. I have been using my Universities network for the past 4 years, which is actually only meant to be used for accedemic purposes (which means i may only do research on things that actually have to do with my studies) I don't have internet at home at all (my father refuses to get it because he is anti-technology). This does not mean that I do not appriciate what I have learnt there or that I think it is bad to go there. I just don't feel like I can get do it any longer. If there are people on the board who want to speak to me and you think you can trust these peoplle, you are welcome to give them my email adress.


I must tell you that the reason why I notified you in particular is because you were one of the only reasons why I stayed. I now believe that I might stay away even longer. After going through quite a rough time spiritually, I have finally made it out of the valley of the shadow of death. It seems to be green pastures again. I mean I have peace, joy and freedom for the first time in months. I am afraid that one of the things that hindered my progress and was like an extra burden was CMB. Not just because of the people who pissed me off, but also because of what I became when I was on there. It was like I turned into somebody else. I never cared about reputation before, but suddenly I was trying to say all the right things, knowing that some people will give me good reps at the drop of a hat. I found myself staring at my post count saying in my mind: “wow, you really are part of the furniture over there" I wasted hour upon hour, playing silly games, while secretly using it just to be seen and get more posts. It seems so pathetic now. I know that it needn't be like that, but the fact is that it is clear that I cannot handle this any longer. I do not regret going through that though. Now I know what places like that are like. I will never join a site like that again no matter how interesting it looks or how beautiful their message or intentions are.