The Lord is My Shepherd
by, Dec 8th 2007 at 11:27 AM (1206 Views)
Things have been really tight lately. I have been so careful with money and frugal to the extreme. Unusual for me.
But with school starting and both children needing new clothing and school supplies money goes fast.
Then I lost a weeks worth of work - no pay - because of a flare up of my Rheumatoid Arthritis. I still can't fully use my left arm even though I am going to physical therapy three times a week.
I have been jumping through hoops for this mortgage company and I am still waiting on them! It took forever to get all the paperwork faxed and I am worn out. I have sent emails and left messages for the State DCS (foster agency) inquiring about my licensing.
I have completed all their classes and paperwork (back in May!) and am waiting on them to do the home inspection. I have had Danna since February, I am desperate for some financial assistance! I can't even get her clothing allowance.
In frustration I have slowly sunk into desperation. I kept thinking, any day now something will come in. The last week and a half I have had no money. I mean NO money. I have been squeaking by on gas, I have packages I need to get in the mail, bills I need to pay, the kids and I have emptied the cupboards and the freezer, living on left overs. I have eaten lettuce salads for every meal for the last week. I am so very tired.
I had an appointment with Alex's therapist. Well actually Alex did but I didn't have the gas to drive out to school pick Alex up and drive back for the appointment. I decided go in myself and have a one on one with him, discussing Alex's issues.
I had some time to kill so I just sat in my car... thinking, 'How am I going to pay this? How am I going to pay that?'
I started to pray, earnestly.
"Lord I am in Your hands, however You want this to play out it will have to be by Your hand. I can do nothing without You."
My mind was wandering and I thought, I will call my friend Jeff. He is the one who recommended the guy who mows my lawn that owe for the month of August (my grass is all dead now anyway, nothing left to mow). I had thought Jeff could loan me the money to pay him. As I asked, which I hated to do but we have been best friends since freshman year, I started to cry.
Really cry. It was awful. I was sobbing.
"Jeff I am so embarassed to ask you this..." Through my tears and sobs I heard him say, "Its ok, its ok I will take care of the lawn guy. Come by where I work so I can talk to you."
He works at a bank just a few blocks from the therapist's office. I finally got myself together as he rolled up to my car.
Jeff is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the chest down from a childhood car accident. He sat outside my door and tried to calm me down. We have known each other since the first day of high school when I walked up to him and said, "I am going to be your friend and help you around."
He lived out side the city limits on a dairy farm and when I got my drivers license I drove out to his house and his mom told me I was the first 'friend' who had made the trip to the farm to see him.
Jeff is Alex's Godfather and was as excited about me being pregnant as I was! When I ended up in the hospital for 75 days of bed rest before Alex arrived, he came to see me several nights a week after work to visit me. One night he told me he just couldn't wait to hold the little guy so I offered to sit in his lap, we laughed as only good friends can.
Jeff took my hand and handed me an envelope. He said, "Take this, get some gas, buy some groceries, whatever you and the kids need".
I couldn't speak. It was a mixture of humility and realization that God had His hand in this that kept my pride at bay because my pride didn't want to take the envelope.
Now Jeff doesn't make a lot of money but he recently acquired a roommate who's share of the mortgage had allowed him to double up payments on things and he had the extra funds.
Jeff said, "No strings attached, you don't pay me back. And I will pay the lawn guy too."
There was $400 in that envelope. Later that night Jeff called to check on me. The kids and I were eating dinner, chicken! And it was very, very good.
Thank You Father for all your tender mercies and blessings. And thank You for my dear friend Jeff, may he be blessed in Your love all the days of his life!
I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 17:6