Speaking of oversensitive

[MBJ]

I am probably the most oversensitive person around. Lemme give you a couple of examples.

I taught at a school for 17 years and finally quit to open my own institute of fine arts. Never having been a pillar of social activities among the others anyway, it wasn't too surprising that once I was no longer on the campus I was not only gone but also totally forgotten. Zero of my co-workers came to visit my institute. And I will add here that we are a very small town - the institute being located less than half a mile from the school where I'd been teaching as the last music teacher in the district.

I also began to notice that other friends fell by the wayside, not calling anymore, or asking me to do various things with them. I developed some new friendships through my institute and continued as a church leader and Bible study leader. But everything else has fallen more and more into disrepair.

I rarely receive responses to comments in a forum I frequent. I add here that I am a higher moderator at that forum and am highly trusted by those in charge of that place. The others do not speak to me at all anymore. I don't know what I've done to annoy them all. I am basically cast out of everything - nearly everywhere I am. At church, it's okay, and at work, I own the place, so obviously, I'm treated okay there. But in the rest of the world, I basically don't exist. Really.

I am one of (like I said) about ten people in a prominent web site where we all work to make it run smoothly. We've met each other and have national "conventions" where we've gotten together. I used to do talk shows with these other people, but now they totally ignore me. I ask a pointed question, and there is no response. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I run a radio program, and none of them tune in. They hate me - or worse - they simply don't register my existence on the radar. And I've got to be honest here. It DOES matter. Although I am very 'gifted" in the eyes of many others, these peers have no place for me.

I am well respected in general in my community. I write a weekly column and am asked for advice in areas. If I was to tell anyone here (where I live) that I feel so down, they would shake their heads in disbelief. But here it is. I am unlikeable for those who actually know me. That's my only possible conclusion.

There are days when I just want to die; to give up or disappear. If it were not for my grandchildren I would seriously leave - or just give up and die. My youngest grand daughter (3 months old now) is deaf, and I feel that it is a meaningful thing for me to be in her life. But other than that, I feel that everything is a big fat disappointment for most people whose judgment I value.

Well that's pretty stupid really. These people all act like jerks and are unkind, and yet I hang on my feelings about them like a 6th grader instead of realizing that none of them really matter. But that's the sad part. It DOES matter to me, and I can't shake the prevailing feeling of failure.

I am the one they call when there is a death. I am the one they call to pray for things. I am the one who helps the people of faith in my area - often. But I am the one who goes home to weep in failure and despair.

I don't really see a lot of chance (if any) for the way things are. It gets to be so hard to carry on. I have physical challenges which make day to day life a struggle in the first place, and as I allow myself to become emotional, it just makes it worse.

I'm not sure why I have bared myself here. It's certainly not going to make me more trusted or popular. But then again, I do realize it's not a popularity contest anyway.

Half the time I would like to simply give up. The other half, I think I already have.

[kayte]

There are lots of days I can join the oversensitive crowd. I truly hate feeling that way!

Most of the time, I have no clue why it seems that groups of people ignore other groups of people. They already have their established cliques? They're all set with friends, so why bother with more? They're self centered and if someone doesn't fit into that self-centeredness, then so much for that?

I can tell you what came to mind while reading your post though. Jesus. How many acted as a friend 'for awhile'? How many fail to take the time to pray? Just go talk with Him and listen to Him? How many see Him as a burden and don't want anything to do with Him? How many give Him zip, zero, nada, when He has specific, eternal questions (and answers) for them. He's non existent to them.

Does it help to know that you're in the best company ever? Does it help to know that He understands and is acquainted with your grief? I hope so. :hug:

He waits and is longsuffering. And pathetic as we are, He has us... the men and women that humbly bow before Him and love Him.

You have your precious grand daughter and the rest of your family. You have friends that do care and love you. We don't really know each other, but having been on this board a long time, I can honestly say, "I like you." :hug:

Hope your day improves.

[Ta-An]

Mary, did we forget your birthday?? :hmm:

Would you like a cuppa tea with me? I have Cinnamon tea, and Mint tea and Rooibos tea, and Ceylon tea.... and you may have a piece of delicious Pumpkin cake :hug:

[Lynbob]

Mary :hug: I know what you mean about being sensitive. I used to feel the people I work with were like family and their approval meant a lot to me. That is until things in my life took a turn for the worse and this 'family' turned their back on me. Very hurtful.

I was reading your post and kept seeing all the positives:

I have developed some new friendships through my institute and continued as a church leader and Bible study leader

I am a moderator at that forum and am highly trusted by those in charge of that place.

I run a radio program

I am very 'gifted" in the eyes of many others

I am well respected in general in my community. I write a weekly column and am asked for advice in areas.

I am the one they call when there is a death. I am the one they call to pray for things. I am the one who helps the people of faith in my area

I couldn't help but marvel at all the things you do! And Kayte hit it right on the head ~ 'Does it help to know that you're in the best company ever?'

People that make you feel:

I feel that everything is a big fat disappointment for most people whose judgment I value

Are not worth feeling so unhappy over.

These people all act like jerks and are unkind, and yet I hang on my feelings about them like a 6th grader instead of realizing that none of them really matter. But that's the sad part. It DOES matter to me, and I can't shake the prevailing feeling of failure.

Honestly, I can not help but wonder if they are not jealous of all you have accomplished. No human being should be able to determine how you feel about yourself. Don't give them that power.

Many hugs for you my beautiful accomplished sister in Christ :hug:

[moonglow]

I am probably the most oversensitive person around. Lemme give you a couple of examples.

I taught at a school for 17 years and finally quit to open my own institute of fine arts. Never having been a pillar of social activities among the others anyway, it wasn't too surprising that once I was no longer on the campus I was not only gone but also totally forgotten. Zero of my co-workers came to visit my institute. And I will add here that we are a very small town - the institute being located less than half a mile from the school where I'd been teaching as the last music teacher in the district.

I also began to notice that other friends fell by the wayside, not calling anymore, or asking me to do various things with them. I developed some new friendships through my institute and continued as a church leader and Bible study leader. But everything else has fallen more and more into disrepair.

I rarely receive responses to comments in a forum I frequent. I add here that I am a higher moderator at that forum and am highly trusted by those in charge of that place. The others do not speak to me at all anymore. I don't know what I've done to annoy them all. I am basically cast out of everything - nearly everywhere I am. At church, it's okay, and at work, I own the place, so obviously, I'm treated okay there. But in the rest of the world, I basically don't exist. Really.

I am one of (like I said) about ten people in a prominent web site where we all work to make it run smoothly. We've met each other and have national "conventions" where we've gotten together. I used to do talk shows with these other people, but now they totally ignore me. I ask a pointed question, and there is no response. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I run a radio program, and none of them tune in. They hate me - or worse - they simply don't register my existence on the radar. And I've got to be honest here. It DOES matter. Although I am very 'gifted" in the eyes of many others, these peers have no place for me.

I am well respected in general in my community. I write a weekly column and am asked for advice in areas. If I was to tell anyone here (where I live) that I feel so down, they would shake their heads in disbelief. But here it is. I am unlikeable for those who actually know me. That's my only possible conclusion.

There are days when I just want to die; to give up or disappear. If it were not for my grandchildren I would seriously leave - or just give up and die. My youngest grand daughter (3 months old now) is deaf, and I feel that it is a meaningful thing for me to be in her life. But other than that, I feel that everything is a big fat disappointment for most people whose judgment I value.

Well that's pretty stupid really. These people all act like jerks and are unkind, and yet I hang on my feelings about them like a 6th grader instead of realizing that none of them really matter. But that's the sad part. It DOES matter to me, and I can't shake the prevailing feeling of failure.

I am the one they call when there is a death. I am the one they call to pray for things. I am the one who helps the people of faith in my area - often. But I am the one who goes home to weep in failure and despair.

I don't really see a lot of chance (if any) for the way things are. It gets to be so hard to carry on. I have physical challenges which make day to day life a struggle in the first place, and as I allow myself to become emotional, it just makes it worse.

I'm not sure why I have bared myself here. It's certainly not going to make me more trusted or popular. But then again, I do realize it's not a popularity contest anyway.

Half the time I would like to simply give up. The other half, I think I already have.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low MBJ...I pretty much gave up on the social stuff long ago myself. I think people are just so terribly busy its hard to think about others...the world is moving too fast and so much to keep up with. Not feeling we are making a difference to anyone I think cuts the deepest. But you do..(we all do)..on here and others lives that you may just not realize. I know if nothing else I make a difference in my son's life and if that is the only life I ever touch...that's enough.

Just remember you are here for a reason...I believe we all are ...that God has a purpose for all of us. As I am sure you know very well...many of the most famous artist in our history were not 'discovered' or became famous until after they were gone. Their works still touch people, still shape and influence many lives even after hundreds of years. As you also know, many of them were very alone...felt like you do...wondered if they or their work mattered. Many were rejected by people in their time...not seeing the depth of their work or they didn't have that social skill to 'be popular'.....yet if they suddenly showed up now, they would be more then accepted. But what was important? That they were accepted in their lifetime...or their lives are still echoing throughout history now?

I believe God created artist and musicians and all of those creative people to show a piece of Him in their work.

The whole point of what I am trying to say here is just because you don't see your importance now, doesn't mean you aren't.

Sorry I did a terrible job expressing my thoughts on here..I am sick and running a fever. I just wanted to offer support because I can really related to what you are saying here. The fact people think of you in a time of need though says alot I think...while you may feel they neglect you in many ways and they do...you are the one they go too when they need those prayers. That is important.

God bless

[flybaby]

I'm sorry you feel this way....I don't have any words of encouragement, but I just wanted you to know that I read your post.

[Ta-An]

When I had the blues the other day... a friend told me, it takes 2 to tango :D

She said : "You have to invite me for tea, you have to phone me, you have to also work at this relationship"...... and I now am.... I am now doing what I would like others to do to me :idea: and I am brightening their lives by doing so, and I am a different person :pp

[Jeanne D]

Mary,
Like you, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I get easily offended and hurt, although I try not to. Sometimes things may appear to be a certain way, when they really aren't.

I don't know you very well although I recognize your name. If I don't respond to some posts, it has nothing to do with the person, I just don't always pay close attention to things and sometimes I don't even see them.

I would like to get to know you better, and anytime you feel you are not getting the responses you want/need, then by all means PLEASE let me (us) know about it.
Sometimes we have to speak up, so please feel free to do just that.

I know you aren't referring to me specifically, but I'd like you and everyone else to let me know when and if I happen to hurt or offend someone.

Jeanne:hug:

[karenoka27]

Mary!:hug:
Sometimes the Lord pulls us away from people (when it seems they are pulling away from us..) because He wants us to draw closer to Him.
We serve a jealous God who wants all of us. It's really a beautiful thing.
Your "friends" know you are there when they need prayer. I'm so used to that now. But you know what? It is a privilege to know that others see us as one who has a relationship with God Himself.

Hold your head up and keep your eyes on our Lord Jesus Christ. You are exactly where you are suppose to be..and the people in your life right now are just the ones He wants in it..and ....you have us!:hug:

Ok, sing with me now...
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO4uIyz_d90

[Lisadawn]

Mary,

Before I comment let me just say that the others had great comments, especially Moonglow. You said you didn't but you did, cold medicine and all.

I have been where you are. I have been a leader, or a person who didn't seem to need anything. I have also been lonely.

I think what happened to me and may be happening to you are two things....

1. You may be programmed for rejection.....that is you perceive it when it isn't really happening. I learned that about myself.

2. You also may just plain be burned out.

I think I may actually be coming out of the burnout phase now even though looking in at my life you could say I am in the pits. I am in the middle of a divorce to a man who seems to have a severe personality disorder. I do not mean that in an insulting way.... but in a mental health way. He is impossible to communicate with right now. My mother is critical, and my daughter (autistic) is practially non-verbal.

There was a time when I didn't want to go anywhere to anyone's house for any holiday. I somehow managed to get a gift certificate and do as little as possible. I used to be the one who took the casseroles to the neighbors when they were getting out of the hospital. I backed off and started withdrawing. You can only give what you have. You need some filling up also. Right?

When you give and give and give and it doesn't seem to be acknowledged or worse yet no one invites us to their shindigs after work we feel rejected.

Right now I found out something exciting. I am looking forward to the holidays. I am wanting to plan Christmas gifts. I want to invite people to my house for dinner even though I am by myself. It will give me something to look forward to while I am trying to clean it.

You will come out of it, Sweetie. You are just burned out, and feel unappreciated, but you are not. You are very much appreciated. Come away and rest a while if necessary. Spend a day on the couch in your pajamas watching Lifetime Chanel or whatever.....and eat comfort food. God will join you. He wants to spend some "unreligious" time with you. He just wants to love on you.

So do we...... Get out the Hot chocolate. We are all coming over for a pajama party

:hug: ;) :kiss:

Lisa