would appreciate advice on family situation

[Maybelle]

I could use some advice about a touchy situation. My teenage grandson decided at 13 yrs he was gay. At first I asked him if he was sure and told him I didn't approve of that lifestyle. But he has had serious problems with depression and feeling rejected. He has been hospitalized with depression twice, so I haven't preached to him about how being gay is a sin because I felt like his mental situation was fragile. However, I have told him many times that I think any sex before marriage is wrong. I just keep praying about it. I've even asked in my prayers to God for him to become a heterosexual. I don't want to be the one to tell him it's sinful because he doesn't need rejection coming from me. His father has been out of the picture for a long time and other than my husband he hasn't had many male father figures. My husband loves him but they haven't been really what I would call close. I want to do the right thing. What would God have me do about this situation? I've been in turmoil about it for almost 4 yrs. I would appreciate any advice on this situation.

Thank you and God bless you.

[Makimbo]

The main thing has to do with whether he is a Christ follower or not. If he is then it is definitely your duty to confront him on the issue. 1 Cor. 5:12 says, "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you.""

I'm going to assume he isn't a Christian though. In that case the fact that he claims to be gay is not where your primary concern should be. Besides, if you try to tell him what the Bible says about homosexuality when he doesn't have any reason to want to follow the Bible in the first place then why would he be interested? The fact that his name is not written in the Lamb's book of Life should be your primary concern.

What about this verse? (specifically the part I bolded)

"They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice.They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."
Romans 1:28-32 (NIV)

Disobeying parents is right in there with those who murder. I say this to say that your granson's sin is not any greater than all of these other sins. Jesus never had people clean up their act before coming to him, he called them, they came and as they continued to follow their lives were transformed. I know this can happen for your grandson as well, but continue loving him and telling him about Christ and let God do the transforming part.

[Sold Out]

Absolutely share the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ with him ASAP. This young man is hurting!

[Maybelle]

My grandson knows I am a Christian and I speak about God to him sometimes. When he first moved in with me 4 yrs ago I took him to church a few times but then he refused to go after that. He tells me he believes in God but I don't think he really fully understands what being a Christian means. I have to be honest and say I haven't been going to church very often at all the last few years. I don't really have an excuse except letting my depression and self pity get the best of me.

I have talked to him different times and mentioned my faith in God and told him that I pray. Sometimes he listens and others times he doesn't. His mother is a Christian and watches Christian tv all the time, but doesn't attend church regularly. We both have somewhat of an anxiety disorder or maybe a social phobia and I think my grandson does too to some extent. But I really appreciate both your replies and input. This Christian message board is a blessing, especially for those of us who are reluctant to talk to someone in person.

[Sold Out]

If you don't feel prepared to share the Gospel with him, then I would encourage you to find someone who can, or go purchase a Gospel tract and sit down with him and explain it to him. Understanding salvation is not hard.

Unless he is saved and has the Holy Spirit living inside of him, then any spiritual advice is going to fall mainly on deaf ears. He has no spiritual discernment. He can't go forward unless he is born again.

[livingwaters]

Oh, that just breaks my heart....As the others have told you, please tell him about Jesus. Tell him what Jesus did for him and the whole world. Tell him he has to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior. If we don't do that, we will go to hell. That is the truth....Also, please try to set an example for him as for as fellowshpping with other Christians...Maybe if he becomes comfortable with one Christian person, outside of family, it would help him to understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ, if he refuses to hear it from you.

You said you go to church and pray....but, you don't go too often to church...Does your husband go to church?...See, I believe, as the Bible says, let us forsake not assembly....That means that we should fellowship with other Christians. Please seek the advice of your pastor or a youth pastor or even a deacon or elder of the church.

I will pray for you and your grandson and the rest of your family....All of you need to make time for God, it seems....(Please know that I am in totally sympathy with you)....Have a Bible study in your home. Invite the pastor over to help you. You will have to organize this yourself....This is my opinion.:hug:

Why doesn't he live with his mother? Maybe the pastor could help his mother, as well. Maybe the pastor could impress on her the importance of having Christian fellowship. Maybe the pastor could help you, as the grandmother, to know what to tell your grandson...

God Bless!!!:pray::pray::pray: