i'm gonna need some help.

[ilovemetal]

so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev

[SFASH]

so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev

I could only hope to encourage you from personal experience, but the issues you speak of here are exactly the same issues I have wrestled with for years.

The most important thing I've learned is that the Lord must deliver me or I will never overcome. And there comes a time when He does indeed deliver, to the point where I can look back on those days and rejoice that they are now behind me and I am free to walk in the newness of the Spirit.

Not saying I don't have a million miles to go...just speaking of those struggles that you have mentioned.

However, I learned that the Lord required of me to obey him, regardless of the difficulties involved, regardless of the circumstances He allowed me to be in, and regardless of the seeming unfairness of it all. Even if it did not make sense to me, I had to learn to obey, each step of the way. He always forgives me when I fail, but requires me to get back in the fight.
Then, all of a sudden, I find a new person where I had once dominated, looking at life in a wonderful new way.


I come from a very difficult life, where violence and hardness were the rules. I can only marvel at our Lord's patience with me. But He managed to replace that stony heart of mine to His glory. He did it by allowing me to go through stressful situations.

1Pt 1:6,7 Has always been my stay in this regard. "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season , if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ"

And I'm sure you are familiar with Galatians, especially 5:16 "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust (desires) of the flesh."

And you will be prayed for. Lord Bless You !!!:)

[steelerbabe]

Kevin - Don't be too hard on yourself:hug: I have found the holy spirit convicts us and the devil condems us. Only God'd grace can change us from the inside out and we all are a work in progress. The minute you feel your anger rising, say a pray. Don't listen to the devil when he condems you. The devil looks for our weakness and uses it against us. He wants you to give up and come between you and your relationship with God. Hope this helps.

[graceforme]

so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev


You have received some good advice. No matter how long we are living as Christians, we still battle the flesh constantly. Take a look at Romans 7:15-23. Paul talks about the battle between the godly man and the flesh.

We all have issues we have to deal with. I have a definite issue with being impatient. I continuously ask God to give me strength to overcome this. Being impatient can also lead to anger issues and sometimes not a very good witness to those around us. So I know how you feel.

But, regardless of how you react to a situation, remember that you are NOT useless. We have to remember our identity in Christ, and that is based on what HE did, not what WE do. Of course, our goal is to live a godly life that is pleasing to God.

God will delight in giving you more strength to deal with your problems. Having dealt with many issues myself, I can tell you this - you must turn them over to God completely. I spent years praying over things, thinking I was turning them over to God, but I was really trying to solve my problems in my own power (which is useless), rather than allowing God to work HIS power in my life. It took a complete surrender on my part before I allowed Him to do His work in me. This is sometimes a difficult thing to do - we have been trained from the time we are small children to be independent - not dependent, and it's hard to overcome that training, especially when it comes to the things of God.

I will be lifting you up in prayer. Seek God - more Bible study and prayer. Prayer will help you draw closer to God, and Bible study will help you understand how He will give you power and strength to overcome what you are battling with.

God Bless.

[ilovemetal]

thanks alot guys. yeah, i finally read some bible last night, and woke up today praying thanking God for everything good He has givin me. one of my favorite quotes, which Watchman Nee put in his wifs bible was "this book will keep you from sin, sin will keep you from this book". i always thought that to be too true.

kev.
thanks again for the prayers/

[steelerbabe]

For me personally I have found when I pray for patience instead of God arranging circumstances to be peaceful, he will usually put annoying situations for me to practice that patience. All the glory to him.

[livingwaters]

:pray::pray:ing for you, Ilovemetal!!! Hey, HE never promised that the cross would not be heavy, or the hill would not be hard to climb.....(this is a song from The Crabb Family-it does wonders for me)it is called "thru the fire"!!! If you want to, go to youtube. There are several videos of it.

If God spoke to you about your sins, HE will finish the good work HE started....But, as Psalm 46:10 says: Be Still And Know That I Am GOD!!!!:hug::hug:

[Scruffy Kid]

Dear Kevin,
I sort of want to ask: have you given your life over to Christ? Told Him that you want His way for you, the Father's will for you, no matter what?

My guess is that you've said just that to God, and that the distress you are feeling right now is God taking you at your word: God saying, "Kev, I love you so much that I'm really going to work hard with you, helping you to bring your life into my ways, helping you to walk hand in hand with me."

If you see what you're going through not as just you realizing how sinful we are, but as God helping you to see this (when He knows you're ready to bear Him helping you though this realization), maybe it would be easier to bear.
so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kevYou are NOT useless at life: you are a man created in God's image, in the likeness of Christ, whom God has redeemed through the blood of Christ, whom He loves greatly, and whom, if you continue to walk with Him, He will use for the sake of his kingdom. You have a new identity in Christ, and God says of us as Christ's own, as he said to Abraham, though the new identity I have given you, I will bless you and cause others to be blessed through you.

But one of the things we need to do to start walking closer with God, is something we don't initially see as the big deal. At first we see smoking, or drinking, or anger, or fornication, or things like that as our problems. Of course, they are problems! But the root of our problems, IMO, is our rebellion against God, which is rather subtle: the attitude that I am my own master, and I can be OK on my own. Of course, God wants us to be free and independent, and self-controlled in a certain sense. The more we walk with Him the more we walk in freedom. But the path to that freedom is through saying to God "Thy will be done" and "without you, I can do nothing." The path to freedom and peace is learning to rest in Him!

As we come back to God, again and again, having blown it in the very same way for the 3000th time (and the 12th time today) and God takes us in his arms, dusts us off, cleans us up, and says I love you (possibly with a little penalty thrown in, but most often not!) we start to learn -- the thing that is the very foundation of our life -- the greatness and goodness of the love of God.

Bless you, dear bro.

Know the greatness of God's love, don't get discouraged, realize that you must love the one (yourself) whom God so loves, and keep on going!!

[Scruffy Kid]

What God's law is for:
To make us Holy, According to His Love

Sometimes we wonder about Psalms where the Psalmist "loves" God's "law", and God's judgments! Oh how I love your law! I dream about it all day long (Ps. 119:97) ...
Great peace have they who love your law! And nothing shall make them stumble! (Ps. 119:165) Psalm 19 rejoices in the beauty of God's creation, and then compares it to the sweetness of the law: The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul:
.....the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart:
.....the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever:
.....the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold:
.....sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. We often tend to fear condemnation, and feel guilty!

One reason why God's law looks beautiful, even friendly, to the Psalmist is that God's law and judgments are what is going to put things right, set things straight! God is going to remake, to heal, things by His judgments and His law!

And so, a second point, as regards us, they are not there to condemn us, but to help us into the right path, the happy and holy (though difficult) way of life that God has for us. They restore in us the original beauty of creation. Therefore, they are hopeful, God's help to us to live lives that are really sound and good! They are in the context of God's love for us, His patient and steadfast and personal love for each of us.

God's whole being is full of goodness, holiness, love, happiness, mercy, truth, and beauty to a far greater extent than we can ever imagine! (That is why being separated from God would be so very terrible!) God is holy, and He intends that we, in our little way, also should become holy. God's word, and his law, is there to transform us, by deepening our knowledge of Him! Amazingly, and with great kindness, He aims to communicate His holiness and goodness to us. He loves us faithfullly, despite all our screw-ups, and intends to remake our hearts in the image of His Son Jesus.

One way to understand the commandments:
Christ's commands as expositions of God's nature

Accordingly, I think it is often helpful to think about God's commands, Christ's commands, not just as talking about what we must do, what we are told to do (though that's true and important of course), but rather to think of them as being about what God is like.

Jesus tells us, in the Sermon on the Mount, to love our enemies so that we may be children of our Father in heaven because He is kind to the sinner and the ungrateful. Jesus wants us to be persistent in loving our enemies just as God is persistent in loving us when we keep on offending him. Thus, the specific command to love our enemies doesn't stand on its own -- rather it has its power and meaning in the relationship we have to God's merciful love to us, and Christ's love for those who crucified him. It points us to God and to God's goodness.

God wants us to live with the kind of life, the kind of love, that is His own -- for there is no other goodness than God's, and so He wants us to live the life that is worth living -- His life of Holiness and Love!!

Jesus' words about forgiving
Understood in this light

Peter asks Jesus how many times he should keep forgiving a brother who keeps offending him. Up to seven times? (Matt. 18) Jesus replies not seven times, but seventy-times-seven times. In other words, without limit.

What is Jesus' point here? Certainly he wants us to keep on forgiving.
I think that that is at best half of his point. I believe that at least as much he wants us to realize that God keeps forgiving us day in and day out. How many times does God forgive me each day? Hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. He doesn't get grouchy about it; he just does it in love.

Thus when Jesus illustrates his teaching on forgiveness with the parable of the unmerciful servant -- who wouldn't forgive his fellow-servant a few thousand bucks he owed him and was trying to pay him, when his master had just forgiven him about 100 billion dollars -- I think that Jesus' point is in considerable part that God's forgiveness to us is so huge compared to what others owe us that we need to realize his goodness to us.

When I get angry at others it is usually because I feel threatened -- and often threatened that because of their letting me down I won't be able to fulfill obligations I have. I kind of think that the unmerciful servant was hounding the guy who owed him because he still thought he needed that money to pay back his master. He really didn't accept that he was forgiven. After all, if he really needed a few thousand bucks -- for whatever purpose -- would not the Lord who had just forgiven him a hundred billion have given him what he still needed?

The Central Point

So the main point I want to emphasize again, Kevin, is that God's love for us is immense, forgiving us so much more than we ever even realize. If God was forgiving you, and calling you to himself, when you were not a Christian, how much more, now that you are reconciled to him through Christ will he faithfully keep loving you and helping you to get to be a better person, as long as you keep seeking Him.

Of course this doesn't mean we are to get lax with ourselves. That would be terrible. We are supposed to keep trying our very best to obey. But we do so in the context and the security of God's love.

So you can have peace, joy, and security in God's love, and in the knowledge that you being a better person is not just your goal but mostly God's goal, which he will faithfully bring to pass -- and bring to pass mainly because He greatly cares for you and cherishes you!!

In friendship,
Scruff

[JesusIsLord82]

i think you're doing just fine. Take your time and don't rush anything. God Bless

[Oregongrown]

so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev

Gods timing is perfect. I don't know if you saw my post yesterday but I feel it is similar to yours. First I praise God for making you a man after God's own heart because that is exactly what I see. Remember David in the bible and how he continued to screw up all along. But he was honest with God and with himself. He is the only one in the bible, I know of, that God actually called " a man after His own heart" Gods own heart. And he was just like us darlin, wanting to do right, but falling back into the old selves. We are growing, I know you are, I see it in your writing, I feel as if I can hear it in your voice.:) I know you may get sick of these verses but they are some of my fave when I feel I am not truly walking with God because I mess up so much:

this little NT(NKJV) has a header on these verses from Romans 7
Law Cannot Save from Sin

Law Cannot Save from Sin

13 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful. 14 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?version=nkjvp&book=Rom&chapter=007&navigated=yes#) I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

I always ask the Holy Spirit to help me with these every time I read them. Of myself, I can't make head nor tails of them, but neither can I interpret the rest of the bible on my own steam:) Also, remember who Paul was:) God used him greatly!!! And so shall He use you brother:) He is using you right now to help me:)

Love you brother and you are amongst many of your "own kind" and we are all walking the road less travelled with Jesus:)

ysic, denise:hug: PS Casting Crowns "East to West" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo

[ilovemetal]

thanks for all the posts. i'm gonna bookmark this, and check back every so aften, as i will forget the kind words you've put to me.

love you guys/gals.
kev

[Sold Out]

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev

I'm just going to say that sometimes this character transformation takes years. I've prayed for my husband for so long. He is a perfect husband, but spiritually he had a lot of growing to do. In the last year God has just worked miracles with him and he is always telling me how much he thinks differently about things and his attitude has just improved ten fold. This has taken many years, so don't get frustrated. Just do what you are already doing...letting God reveal the sin so you can work on it. Just want what's right!

[wondercoolguy]

so i figured out the problem i now have. i'll break it down, it's not hard, and i'm sure someone will be helpful.

you know when, after you begin to realize Christ is working in you, and He starts to reviel your sins. it's awsome, because you can now recognize them and work on them. but it's like, now, i feel i have so much sin, (like us all) that i'm getting bummed that i can't be 'a better christian'. i know God knows my heart, but still, i'm usually good with my anger problem, and God has helped me so so much with that latley, but i've been a bit stressed, and stress turnes me into 'old' kevin. the bad one, who is so mad and angry and hate filled. and i don't like being that person, but i've been snapping latley, and just being bummed. which is lame, cuz i have the best life ever, so i ought to stop crying.

so the problem seems circular; the more i grow in God the more i get bummed on how much i'm useless at life. maybe it's the city wearing on me...(i think it is, among other things) but maybe i haven'tbeen on top of my praying and bible reading.

so i'm gonna do that, more. alot more. but any advice would be cool.

kev


Atleast your not mormon :lol:

If you ever fill down read the complete Pslams 69, David was down in the dumps in that one.

Also, remember no matter how bummed you get, no matter how far you think you are turn and Jesus is there! :o