Too high of standards for a girlfriend?

[MED]

How high or how little of standards should I have when going about having a girlfriend? I know noboby is perfect, (even Christians) but what kind of limits to imperfection should I have?. I know when and if I were to be married it would be to a Christian, but what about a relationship that is less than marriage where she may or not be Christian (and I don't know until I get to know her better)? What if she does one or more of the following? Smokes, drinks, watches less than decent things (T.V./movies), uses bad language, etc. Is it too much to ask these days for a Godly Girl?

[livingword26]

I'm not sure what kind of "less than marriage" relationship you are talking about. If you are talking about dating, I wouldn't know whay you would want to date anyone that would not fit your godly standards for marriage. Put it in Gods hands. Ask Him to bring you the right one, even if it takes a while.

[BroRog]

Sometimes to find a friend, you have to be a friend.

[smokey the dog]

Well unless you have an arranged marriage, the persons you date could become your wife. So for me I tried to first of all to date only born again Christians. The Bible is very clear about being joined with unbelievers. There's nothing more miserable that a believer married to an unbeliever.

[lendtay]

How high or how little of standards should I have when going about having a girlfriend? I know noboby is perfect, (even Christians) but what kind of limits to imperfection should I have?. I know when and if I were to be married it would be to a Christian, but what about a relationship that is less than marriage where she may or not be Christian (and I don't know until I get to know her better)? What if she does one or more of the following? Smokes, drinks, watches less than decent things (T.V./movies), uses bad language, etc. Is it too much to ask these days for a Godly Girl?

You are right, no one is perfect. Anyone you meet and marry will have faults, they will be a sinner. Everyone is. When I was single and attending a certain church, I knew many singles who were looking for a "perfect" person. One guy I knew even wrote out a list of his criteria for a future mate. Many of these people are still alone - now well into their 40s, some in their 50s. Believe me - I still run into them from time to time, and have kept up with many of them, even though I no longer attend that church. They are still alone, looking for that "perfect" person that doesn't exist.

It is hard to know what level of Christianity that someone is at. You have to look at their character and ask them what they believe. I think someone is either a Christian, or they aren't. However, there are some who feel a person must not only attend church regularly, but also get involved in church activities and attend a weekly Bible study in order to be a "true Christian". That is only their opinion, of course. If you are heavily involved in church activities, then you might be more compatible with someone just like you. I think its important to look at the person's character and how they treat others. Things like looks will fade - a person won't look the same at 40 as they did at 25.

[Soulangel]

I'd like to give you two very different situations that are real life scenario's where God was at work so you can observe His handiwork and understand it's your relationship with Him and listening to Him in your life that is paramount when it comes to knowing who will be your life long mate - because only God sees the bigger picture. Firstly I was a single mum of three and no intentions of getting married again when a carpenter knocked at the front door of my townhouse to fix the back door. Over the course of a couple of days, because this was two days before Christmas he told me he and his mum had moved from interstate, so my ex and his girlfriend and I decided to invite them to our Christmas lunch assuming they had no one to share there Christmas with being from another state. We didn't know they'd been here for some time! So I asked them over to share our family lunch, but they had plans, however the carpenter thought, mistakenly, that I was asking him out on a date!!! So he asked me out for a drink, which due to circumstances turned into a dinner on Christmas eve. Now, I wasn't looking for marriage, or anything, but just to have a chat with another adult I saw no harm in enjoying some else's company. He enjoyed my company and we struck up a friendship to the point where I said "I'm going to church on sunday if you'd like to come you're welcome, if not, that's okay too." Well I nearly fell over when he said "well I suppose it's about time I went back!!!" It turned out this man used to be a full time missionary!!!! However there had been circumstances in his life which had caused tremendous pain and he didn't feel that he could go before God and be with God for the last x number of years. To cut the story short, God convicted him in ways that had nothing to do with me, eight months later we were married, and three months after that he gave his life to the Lord again in front of the church and I was baptised for the first time. God had a gently gently approach to bring his wounded soul home, it took a lot of love and listening and work on his part and His part.

The second story is of a lady who was raised a Christian and she desperately wanted to be married and have children. She'd followed Christ and worked in ministry all her life. One day whilst she was enjoying her favourite recreation a man approached her and wanted to date her. She told him no she couldn't because she was a Christian and he wasn't. However he was not to be deterred and he began attending church to find out what Christianity was all about and whether or not it was for him. The short version is that although many older people in the church whispered behind their back about them being unequally yoked, they are now a very happily married couple. This young man accepted Jesus Christ into his life, they already have a son, he has joined her singing ministry as well, and when you speak to him you can see the love of Christ oozing from his soul.

God is in the relationship business but we have to leave it up to Him, not have preconceived notions of what He is going to give us otherwise it just doesn't ever work out. Through out any preconceived ideas you have, read the book of Hosea for a good example of that, and pray for the wife that God wants you to have. Francine Rivers wrote a superb book called Redeeming Love based on the book of Hosea if you want to get a very clear understanding of what love is all about, and how God calls you to love.

In Jesus mighty name, serving His purpose always, Soulangel

[Sold Out]

How high or how little of standards should I have when going about having a girlfriend? I know noboby is perfect, (even Christians) but what kind of limits to imperfection should I have?. I know when and if I were to be married it would be to a Christian, but what about a relationship that is less than marriage where she may or not be Christian (and I don't know until I get to know her better)? What if she does one or more of the following? Smokes, drinks, watches less than decent things (T.V./movies), uses bad language, etc. Is it too much to ask these days for a Godly Girl?

You should absolutely have standards...to save you some pain later on!

I would look for maturity....emotional and spiritual. You both need to be on the same page as far as your beliefs and committment to God. If you are committed, she would need to be equally as committed. If you are going to marry someone and spend the rest of your life with them and rear children with them, this is not something you want to leave to chance!

Just envision your future with someone - the someone that currently drinks, smokes, watches questionable tv/movies....is that the person you want raising your children?