Birth Control?

[GodSeeker]

I've got a bit of an off question and am not quite sure how to handle this. My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter who is the light of our lives. She's the best baby ever! :) However, neither of us is ready to have another one right now. We do want one more at some point but not for a few years. After Brenna was born I went on the Depo Provera shot. Brenna was born on April 6, 2008. Well the shot is good for 3 months. So July 6 I was eligible to get another shot. Well I am terrible about making doctor's appointments so I never went to get another shot. I am not on any birth control now and am waiting for my menstrual cycle to get back to normal. I have only had one period since her birth and it was light. I know one of the side effects of the shot is that women often don't get their periods for a while. I was on the shot many years ago so I know I am one of those. However I know my doctor won't put me on any other birth control until I have a period.

In the meantime, I am so paranoid about getting pregnant again that I have been holding back on participating in marital relations with my husband. I want to do it and he wants to do it but I am just so afraid of getting pregnant again until I have that period and can get back on the pill or something. Neither of us care for condoms so we don't make use of them.

Is it biblically wrong for me to not have relations with my husband or take birth control to prevent pregnancy? I know the bible says to be fruitful and multiply. But it doesn't say to overpopoulate the planet, which is what can happen if folks don't keep their breeding habits in check. Neither of my children were planned. I have a 5 year old from my first marriage and we have our 5 month old now. I honestly want the third child, when the time is right, to be planned and prepared for, not a shocker like both of my others were. I know that sounds bad, but when you're not prepared finding out you're pregnant does come as quite a shock. I've been fruitful and I have multiplied. So is it wrong to not want to multiply again until I am ready? Also, he is not a Christian so religious rules don't apply to him as easily. He's a Pagan.

[Tanya~]

Your choice to have a baby or not will not affect the population of the planet. Certain demographics think they should "keep their breeding in check" as you put it, and others don't. All that will do is shift the balance of the population in this country to a different demographic.

If you want to prevent pregnancy, you can still enjoy one another. Look into the sympto-thermal method of birth control. It works. The only thing is that you do have to abstain from intercourse when you are fertile, and for a woman, the fertile times are the times during the month when a woman is most interested in sex. That's really the only drawback to this method but other than that it is very effective provided you follow the directions, and it is completely safe.

[ServantofTruth]

I do tend to one side of the birth control arguement - which side is not important here. It is wonderful to see a Christian who wants to learn and discuss on such an important issue in their present life.

You must constantly discuss it with your husband, and i know this is differcult, because my wife is also a non believer.

Also try to avoid the people who want to take your life and this issue - and score points, by taking their views and trying to find verses to support it.

I don't believe the bible speaks directly to contraception, and the stories in the area like Judah's son - need much context. Being fruitful, does not include, in my opinion, every Christian having as many children as possible. Rather making a personal choice within a marriage of how to proceed biblically. That the whole of scripture, not choice verses.

If you are praying daily, reading a little of the bible, and praising/ worshipping our Saviour Jesus Christ - it is unlikely your actions in this area or any area will be far from his Will/ Wisdom. God bless, SofTy.

[Sold Out]

I've got a bit of an off question and am not quite sure how to handle this. My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter who is the light of our lives. She's the best baby ever! :) However, neither of us is ready to have another one right now. We do want one more at some point but not for a few years. After Brenna was born I went on the Depo Provera shot. Brenna was born on April 6, 2008. Well the shot is good for 3 months. So July 6 I was eligible to get another shot. Well I am terrible about making doctor's appointments so I never went to get another shot.

Have you made an appt to get the shot yet? Do you have to wait a while after getting it? I'm not too familiar with Depo.

[laundrygirl]

I would say your being closed to children is giving you a lot of unnecessary grief, and it may put a strain on you and your husband in the long run.

The idea of overpopulation came from Malthus, who argued that theoretically speaking that if unchecked a population could grow to such a size that there would not be enough resources left. In truth, the population of the world is in decline, rather than increase, and certain nations especially in Europe are dying.

Beyond that, this is giving the Muslims, who are not using contraception, the chance to take over once-Christian countries.

And children are gifts from God; using birth control is spurning this gift, for one, and then two misusing sex. It's not just for unitive purposes, but also procreative. The two are inextricably linked together. The one flesh and the fruit of marriage are physically and literally in the children. God picks the time and place when you are going to have the child, and He will give you everything you need along with it. You can trust in Him and you don't need birth control.

[Sandusky]

And children are gifts from God; using birth control is spurning this gift, for one, and then two misusing sex. It's not just for unitive purposes, but also procreative. The two are inextricably linked together. The one flesh and the fruit of marriage are physically and literally in the children. God picks the time and place when you are going to have the child, and He will give you everything you need along with it. You can trust in Him and you don't need birth control.

Thanks laundrygirl, I agree with you 100%.

Having sex while closing off the possibility of pro-creation is a refusal of God's grace and it's also a mutual rejection of your spouse. If you willfully divorce the creative act from sex, you're just using your spouse for what he/she can do for you, for the physical gratification. Marriage and sex should be about 100% self-giving love. Husband and wife give themselves to eachother, God gives to the couple and the couple give back to God by glorifying and reflecting His creative love in their union. It's another way we are made in God's own image. :)

[Buzzword]

Do what thou wilt, GodSeeker.

This issue is between you and your husband and God. No one else.

If you feel you aren't prepared to bring a child into the world, take whatever steps you feel are necessary to prevent pregnancy.

It's your prerogative.

[laundrygirl]

Note also: the Bible never says to worry if you overpopulate the planet. God provides.

[Sandusky]

Do what thou wilt, GodSeeker.

This issue is between you and your husband and God. No one else.


"Do what thou wilt"...? Where is that in the Bible? :confused

I don't understand the other comment, either. If the issue is between her and her husband and they are married, then God is involved. Period. That's what marriage is; that's the definition of a sacrament.

[laundrygirl]

"Do what thou wilt"...? Where is that in the Bible? :confused

I don't understand the other comment, either. If the issue is between her and her husband and they are married, then God is involved. Period. That's what marriage is; that's the definition of a sacrament.

Just adding to that, I also seem to recall that when Onan used a form of birth control (pulling out) in the Bible, so as to prevent conception, God struck him dead.

It would also seem to me there is no where in the Bible that says to worry about not conceiving; on the contrary, how many stories were there of women who were desperate to conceive? Children in the Bible have always been a blessing and should always be welcomed, because to the likes of them the kingdom of heaven belongs.

[Buzzword]

"Do what thou wilt"...? Where is that in the Bible? :confused

I don't understand the other comment, either. If the issue is between her and her husband and they are married, then God is involved. Period. That's what marriage is; that's the definition of a sacrament.

Aaaand you totally missed the rest of my post.

Just adding to that, I also seem to recall that when Onan used a form of birth control (pulling out) in the Bible, so as to prevent conception, God struck him dead.

It would also seem to me there is no where in the Bible that says to worry about not conceiving; on the contrary, how many stories were there of women who were desperate to conceive? Children in the Bible have always been a blessing and should always be welcomed, because to the likes of them the kingdom of heaven belongs.

Onan was killed for breaking the Hebrew law pertaining to maintenance of family bloodlines, not for pulling out.

Not applicable.

GodSeeker is NOT a woman desperate to conceive.

Not applicable.


To tell her to bring a child into this world that she and her husband cannot financially support is at best ignorant, at worst inhumane and idiotic.

[Sandusky]

Aaaand you totally missed the rest of my post.

I'm sorry, what was the point I missed?


Onan was killed for breaking the Hebrew law pertaining to maintenance of family bloodlines, not for pulling out.

Not applicable.

GodSeeker is NOT a woman desperate to conceive.

Not applicable.

To tell her to bring a child into this world that she and her husband cannot financially support is at best ignorant, at worst inhumane and idiotic.

She's a woman engaging in the creative act with a man, therefore t's all applicable. And if she can't financially or emotionally support a child, she needs to not be engaging in said creative act.

[laundrygirl]

Onan was killed for breaking the Hebrew law pertaining to maintenance of family bloodlines, not for pulling out.

Not applicable.

GodSeeker is NOT a woman desperate to conceive.

Not applicable.


To tell her to bring a child into this world that she and her husband cannot financially support is at best ignorant, at worst inhumane and idiotic.


Actually, it's applicable. He wasted seed.
I never said she was desperate to conceive; I am merely saying the Bible says the opposite, that one should be open to conception rather than closed to it.

And no one said she had to have sex; just that birth control was adding an unnecessary strain on her and her husband both. I'm not telling her to engage in the marital act and attempt to procreate, but I am saying she shouldn't be engaging in the marital act if she is not fully prepared to accept the consequences of said act.

[Xel'Naga]

Go figure, I agree with Buzzword. Onan was killed because he failed to fulfill his duty to take his brothers wife (I believe it was). Not because he 'pulled out'.

[SammeyDW]

Actually, it's applicable. He wasted seed.
I never said she was desperate to conceive; I am merely saying the Bible says the opposite, that one should be open to conception rather than closed to it.

And no one said she had to have sex; just that birth control was adding an unnecessary strain on her and her husband both. I'm not telling her to engage in the marital act and attempt to procreate, but I am saying she shouldn't be engaging in the marital act if she is not fully prepared to accept the consequences of said act.

'accept the consequences'?
That makes it sound like conception is a bad thing.
Pro-abortion

A much better sounding way would be 'accept all the results'.
Anti-abortion

[SammeyDW]

Go figure, I agree with Buzzword. Onan was killed because he failed to fulfill his duty to take his brothers wife (I believe it was). Not because he 'pulled out'.

Onan had a 'checkered' past and when he violated the oath to take his brother's wife (that he had made to/before God and man).
God saw it as the 'last straw', and judged him right there for all that he did.

Genesis 38:1-10 NASB (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2038:1-10;&version=49;)

[flybaby]

Talk to your husband. As the head of the house, he is the one to whom you should be deferring. The rest of us have our opinions, some Biblically based, some not. However, since you indicated that your husband is not a chiristian, then any christian ideas would not appeal to him.

I say love your husband in every aspect of the word. Do what he wants you to do in reference to bc. Let your husband lead you in this and all areas of life.

[Jane Lane]

Talk to your husband. As the head of the house, he is the one to whom you should be deferring. The rest of us have our opinions, some Biblically based, some not. However, since you indicated that your husband is not a chiristian, then any christian ideas would not appeal to him.

I say love your husband in every aspect of the word. Do what he wants you to do in reference to bc. Let your husband lead you in this and all areas of life.
This does not make sense to me.

The husband's opinion should matter a great deal, but the wife's should matter an equal amount. You can't just advise women to never think for themselves, and listen to what their men have to say instead. That would lead to them becoming entirely dependent upon the man, which does not sound like a healthy relationship to me.

Women can definitely be the ones leading their husbands. To say otherwise would be ignorant.

EDIT: Forgot to give my actual advice, hah.

You want to have sex, but said yourself that becoming pregnant right now would be a bad time. Go see a doctor, and get on some birth control. Best of both worlds, right? Seems to be the only logical choice, along with using condoms (even if you don't like them) or avoiding vaginal sex until you are safely on the birth control.

[flybaby]

This does not make sense to me.

The husband's opinion should matter a great deal, but the wife's should matter an equal amount. You can't just advise women to never think for themselves, and listen to what their men have to say instead. That would lead to them becoming entirely dependent upon the man, which does not sound like a healthy relationship to me.

Women can definitely be the ones leading their husbands. To say otherwise would be ignorant.

EDIT: Forgot to give my actual advice, hah.

You want to have sex, but said yourself that becoming pregnant right now would be a bad time. Go see a doctor, and get on some birth control. Best of both worlds, right? Seems to be the only logical choice, along with using condoms (even if you don't like them) or avoiding vaginal sex until you are safely on the birth control.

If she had told me her husband were a Christian, my advice would have been different. However, because her husband is a nonbeliever, he is not going to listen to spiritual advice. Her best course of action would be to follow his lead. Of course she can still talk to him about the situation, but she shouldn't demand her own way in this or in any situation. I'm sorry you don't agree with me, but that's okay. I'm just advising according to how I see it in the Bible.

[JK18]

Thanks laundrygirl, I agree with you 100%.

Having sex while closing off the possibility of pro-creation is a refusal of God's grace and it's also a mutual rejection of your spouse. If you willfully divorce the creative act from sex, you're just using your spouse for what he/she can do for you, for the physical gratification. Marriage and sex should be about 100% self-giving love. Husband and wife give themselves to eachother, God gives to the couple and the couple give back to God by glorifying and reflecting His creative love in their union. It's another way we are made in God's own image. :)
May i ask. where do you get that? I mean can you give me anywhere in the Bible that says that?
I do agree with the last part of that, but the first part I don't see anywhere in the Bible.

[Jane Lane]

... Of course she can still talk to him about the situation, but she shouldn't demand her own way in this or in any situation. I'm sorry you don't agree with me, but that's okay. I'm just advising according to how I see it in the Bible.

I'm so tired of people twisting what the Bible says to make themselves think that their sexism is justified. Women are allowed opinion, too, and their opinion should be listened to.

[SeekingWisdom]

I believe God wants us to trust in Him. I also believe he gave us a brain and common sense because he wanted us to use them.

Talk to God and see what He tells you.

Furthermore I emphatically disagree with most of this comment but I still hold true to my belief that you should consult with God on this subject.



And children are gifts from God; using birth control is spurning this gift, for one, and then two misusing sex. It's not just for unitive purposes, but also procreative. The two are inextricably linked together. The one flesh and the fruit of marriage are physically and literally in the children. God picks the time and place when you are going to have the child, and He will give you everything you need along with it. You can trust in Him and you don't need birth control.

[*Hope*]

Birth control is not unbiblical. Abstaining from sex with your spouse is (if it's for extended periods and not for the purpose of seeking God only).

[servantsheart]

I've got a bit of an off question and am not quite sure how to handle this. My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter who is the light of our lives. She's the best baby ever! :)
Is it biblically wrong for me to not have relations with my husband or take birth control to prevent pregnancy? I've been fruitful and I have multiplied. So is it wrong to not want to multiply again until I am ready? Also, he is not a Christian so religious rules don't apply to him as easily. He's a Pagan.
I did not grow up in a church setting. Married a cradle Catholic and converted . Left church after 30 yrs. and became a born again Christian. I always felt that empty place until I truly found Jesus. But I know God was with me all through the yrs. Here is the point. Church does not allow birth control unless it is under there method. I had a mis-carriage in my first week of my fifth month...lost 6 units of blood and a 7th was on stand by. I went on to have another full term pregnancy and birth.
Then my doctor said NO MORE (I also have a bad back). A priest refused me absolution after my confession of using birth control. He said I had to put it in God's hands and not use birth control unless it was the church prescribe method. I refused to do so. My husband wanted me to and I told him no. So I took it to God and told him I knew he understood that I could not physically have another child...we had two children...two mis-carriages...and that he knew I loved our children but financially we could not afford more...etc. I put it into God's hands-I knowing I could not figure out a good out come to our desperate situation. This was tearing my marriage apart and all the church cared about was my having another baby.
One month from the night I prayed this last prayer and gave it to the Lord...I was exercising and I started to do a sit-up and my uterus prolasped. I did not have to ask God 'why' this happened. I knew and I felt complete calm, reassurance that God heard my prayer and knew my heart. It was His way of telling me I did not have to be pregnant again and put my health at risk and possibly leave my husband and two children without a wife and mother.
I don't believe that the scripture to be fruitful and multiply means that we continue having children like we are rabbits.
When you look at the word Multiply in Greek/Hebrew it says, to cause to increase...super abounded ...see Abundance in Greek/Hebrew : exceeding measure, something above theordinary; abundance of joy; "overflowing"; 2 Corn. 8:13-14 the gifts supplied by the saints; abundance of the heart; the power of God in his servants; beyond measure; as of the grace of God and the gift by the grace of Christ; "superfluity"; walking as to please God as the ministration of righteousness, Matt. 5:20; His power to make us abound in love; of spiritural fruit, Phil. 4:17 ...
Fruit in Greek/Hebrew: works or deeds, fruit being the visible expression of power working inwardly and invisibly, the character of the fruit being evidence of the character of the powe producing it, Matt. 7:16; fruit of the Spirit, Gal. 5:22...
My quotes come from W. E. Vines Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words in Greek and Hebrew...
I believe marriage is for having children and being a family unit but I don't believe the scripture you quoted tells us to go have children and just keep right on having more and more.
Since you are the Christian and your husband is not then I can understand that you feel more pressure to be sure you are doing right by God and his word. But with holding sex is not of the Bible either.
Find a method that works for both of you and stop letting this become a wedge between you. I don't believe God wants this situation to cause harm to your marriage.
When in doubt of what the scripture is saying look up words in the Greek/Hebrew meaning...it helps to clarify and put a whole new understanding to what was said in the days of the apostles.
May Father God sanctify your ears to only hear his voice and open your eyes to see what he needs you to see. May he soften the heart of your husband and set his heart on fire to know Jesus as his Lord and Savior. May he continue to enlighten you mind with the truthfulness of his word and keep growing you to maturity in him. May God share his secrets with you and his joy and may you be filled with God's wisdom and strength inside of you. Praying this in Christ Jesus' name. Amen
Pat

[MyPrecious3Kids]

GodSeeker, I feel for you :hug:. I have 3 small kids, so I know how it really feels to be that busy :yes:

I've been a born-again Christian for more than 17 years and I DO believe in birth control.
IMHO, we need to be Spirit-led in reading and interpreting the Bible. Don't just quote here and there just because we think the verses fit in to certain situations or our thoughts. I've been going to a church which believes that using birth-control is Scriptural.
Personally, I don't want to use anything that can interfere with my hormones, that's why I choose the natural ones ('pulling out' :D and very rarely using condoms). I have to know my fertile period to do that to be safer. So far we're fine. One more thing, I will never use IUD because from what I've read, the way it works is like an abortion. It doesn't prevent the conception, but it works AFTER the conception happens. Besides that, I don't like the thought of having something foreign inside me :D

The bottom line is, it's your personal choice. Trust your heart and trust God. More people means more opinions which will make you more confused. Try to talk to your pastor or mature Christians who know the Bible well to advise you.

God's peace be with you :)

[ServantofTruth]

This topic is full of nonsense!

So to the original poster - the time, i believe, has come to withdraw and pray in private.

May i share a single scripture to meditate on - Matthew 6:22 & 23.

You are following Jesus Christ, confessing your sins at his cross. You have the Holy Spirit within and the Word of God/ the bible. Peace, SofTy. :hug:

[Mercy4Me]

Hey, folks...

I just wanted to let you know that I am going to close this thread. I'm afraid this topic can, as you see, become controversial very quickly, as there is a very wide variety of opinion on the topic of birth control.

To the original poster, I hope you've been able to find a peaceful solution that you and your husband can agree on, as that is of primary importance. If you have any questions or concerns about the closing of the thread, you are very welcome to start a thread in the Chat to the Moderators forum.

If anyone would like to continue the discussion, you are very welcome to start a thread in the Controversial Issues forum.