Please help - I think this might be my OCD

[confused22]

Okay, so I thought I was saved, but I am seriously questioning whether I am saved, and I'm questioning if I have purpose in this world.

Within the first year of me actively reading The Bible and hungering the things of God, the day before Easter, I suddenly doubted the Ressurection three years ago, and things have never been the same again. I have obsessive doubts regarding whether Christ actually existed, God exists, etc..., and it pains me in my stomach, because I want to trust God's Word so badly. I pray every day for this to be taken away from me. I don't want to live with this doubt. I've started going to a psychologist from my church who is a Christian, and he says I am highly obsessive, and he's going to start helping me get past this. However, I just wanted to know what you guys think. Honestly, please don't think I'm crazy. I don't want to be like the nihilists, athiests, etc..., but that is my worst fear. My worst fear is that I am apostate, and that I'll never trust Jesus again, I'll never believe He walked the earth again (which I know is absolutely irrational, yet it plagues me every day), and I'll never have that sure trust. I want to trust Jesus so badly, so I just ask that you guys pray. I'm in my 5th year of college, and I'm frankly tired of all the obsessing. I just want to be settled. I feel like I'm being tossed to and fro like James describes.

I know none of you know me, but I would really appreciate all the prayers. I want God to come into my life in a supernatural way and take this all away. I know He has the power to do this. Surely He wouldn't abandon me. Again, I feel kind of embarassed saying all these things, but I really need help with this and lots of prayer. Thanks so much!

[moonglow]

Its not uncommon for even mature Christians to have doubts about things from time to time so don't beat yourself up so badly over it. John the Baptist..who was born to usher in the Messiah even had doubts AFTER meeting and baptizing Christ!

Matthew 11
John the Baptist Sends Messengers to Jesus
1 Now it came to pass, when Jesus finished commanding His twelve disciples, that He departed from there to teach and to preach in their cities.
2 And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples 3 and said to Him, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”

Imaging asking this after witnessing the sky open and hearing the voice of God saying this is my beloved Son after he had baptized Jesus? Then hearing about all His miracles and still asking???

Inspite of the massive amount of evidence we have...at times we still have doubts. I believe alot of this is spiritual attacks...how does satan get at us? Through the mind...through our thoughts of course. Doubt is the quickly way to uproot faith...it creeps in and unchecked it grows like a cancer and undermines the faith we have.

As dumb as this is going to sound...while I have no doubt Jesus rose from the dead at times I wonder about God! Silly isn't it...it makes no sense...this is our human flesh struggling with our spiritual self.

Have you ever been officially dx with OCD? If so are you taking medication? I think you need to find out as this is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and its no different then if you had heart disease..it needs to be treated. And please don't feel bad or guilty about having these questions. Its very human...very normal actually to go through this...

yes God can make Himself known to you...but many times He works through other people and maybe that is why you are here!

I will be praying for you!

God bless

[confused22]

Thank you for your response. I have been diagnosed, and I am currently undergoing some alternative therapies to see what happens. However, my main questions are this:

1. Do I have a purpose in life? One of the things that repeats around in my brain all day is "You have no purpose, you have no purpose, there is no purpose in this world, there is no God" and it repeats over and over. It is really disturbing, and it gets me down! I know it isn't rational. Seriously - this is not me. I've believed in God my whole life, and now, all of a sudden, I feel He is dead. WHY??? Why am I going through this?

My ultimate fear is that I'll never resolve this doubt because of my OCD. I would never want to do this, but I'm afraid I'll just up and decide one day that I should kill myself because I have no purpose. I'm afraid the pain will be too great. Don't worry, I've already expressed this to several people around me. People know that I desire to be healed and find hope again. I have an exciting time coming next year with getting a career, etc... and I guess I want to move beyond all these doubts. Please just pray for me. I think I was definitely brought here for a reason!:help:

[Chanda]

I have OCD also, and sometimes I feel like this, it is normal, but we just have to BELIEVE and keep saying to ourselves, "God is good" and positive thinga about God, He hears us, He is right here with us. He knows what you are going through, and He wont leave you. Just keep saying POSITIVE things and soon you will believe them. Our mind likes to play tricks on us so we need to let in the positive stuff and it will believe and know God is true.

[confused22]

Thanks! Wow! Have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I'm just now starting that. It takes a while to get the positive going. I'm really just now getting to the point that I want to do something like this, so please just let me know your experience. I assume that we must be patient, huh?:D

[moonglow]

Of course you have a purpose...we all do. I know it seems hard to believe when their are 6 billion people on this earth...all having a purpose but consider many don't believe...don't know what their purpose is or won't do whatever it is God has in mind for them. So that leaves maybe only a third actually following Him...if that! Sometimes our purpose may seem like a small thing...(nothing is small though with God) or it may seem like a big thing. King David started out as a teenager herding sheep and became the king of Israel! So you just never know.

I don't have OCD but I am going through alot right now due to hormones and my own thoughts are driving me nutty! Its like I am thinking too much, too fast and have no pause button...:lol: So when I find myself doing this 'what if'...what if this happens or that...worrying you know, I derail myself by going...blah, blah, blah in my mind just to stop it. Sounds silly but hey it works for me!

Sometimes just reading scriptures helps too to stop this kind of thinking. Rebuking these thoughts in the Name of Jesus is a powerful tool if these are spiritual attacks...which they very well could be! Jesus says He will give us a sound mind and peace and I believe that. :)

2 Peter 1
Growing in Faith
3 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

God bless

[OneofHis777]

I want to put your doubts to rest. Jesus Christ did walk on the face of the earth. You have to consider whether he was God or not or whether you are going to accept him as Savior or not. This post is to short to prove to you that it is historic fact that Jesus lived, so you will have to take my word for it. There was a physical man Jesus that lived and breathed and had disciples and contested the pharisees and they arrested Him and convicted Him and hung him on a cross. Secular historians from the time wrote about Jesus. Jesus was resurrected from the dead and was seen by over 500 people over a 40 day period. You seem like a smart guy and your true problem is faith (believing in what you don't see). Seems to me that you are saved because you are encountering some spiritual warfare from the enemy. The best way to tell if you are saved is to examine whether the Holy Spirit lives within you. If you have guilt over you sin that usually is a sign that the Holy Spirit is dealing with you, also if you see you start making decisions considering the word of God that is a sure sign that the Holy Spirit is guiding you. The Holy Spirit according to the Word of God is the down payment on your salvation. So I have a suggestion for you since you are in college and the best way to build faith is to study the Word of God and not cut it any slack put it to the test, check facts, places and dates. The best thing you can do for your faith is study prophecy and see that they have been fulfilled even in your own time prophecy from the bible are being fulfilled.