in need prayer

[phares]

im coming here because i really have no where else to turn on this matter. i recently moved away from any friends i had, which were not really christian, so they cant really help me in this area. i have been prone to making bad decisions in my past concerning relationships, they were immoral and abusive, so after leaving an abusive relationship i had been in near 11 years...i decided to do what i thought was right and not get involved with anyone unless he was christian. this is the first time ive ever been in love, and im messing it up. im faithful, obedient, and i try to take care and comfort him, but i fail in the jealousy department especially when it comes to his ex who is still writing him and getting under my skin so to speak. if i thought it wasnt a temptation, as with any woman, it wouldnt bother me. but my fears are getting the best of me and i get sad, and this is bothering him because he says theres no reason to be. i feel really weak and emotional, but i need to be strong for him. i know that where 2 or more are in agreement in prayer He'll be there. so if someone would just pray for this and help i would appreciate it. thanx and G*d bless:pray:

[Sherrie]

Hi phares; and welcome to the board. Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you!

Sherrie


Also; His ex should not be writing him or calling him.

[phares]

thank u for your prayer, it was quick and in a time of need. i agree though, i dont think she should be writing him either, erg...she has her own husband, but, i guess, thats on her, ay? i know i need to get my own act together aswell, and u praying on my behalf is deffinately a step in the right direction. once again thanx and G*d bless :)

[Soulangel]

Welcome and much needed prayer sent your way. If you know what they are conversing about and all is out in the open you need to relax and trust in the Lord, however the other side is that once divorced the relationship really is over unless children are involved, and that is the only issue that should be discussed to keep the relationship functional. Divorce happens for a reason. :pray::pray:Soulangel

[phares]

thank u for your many prayers:pray:, i need it. she wrote him again yesterday, after Sherrie and i prayed about it, saying she wanted him to pray for her, (ironic?) and he wrote her back but, idk what he said. im trying to trust him. i prayed for G*d to help and in actuality, that is who im trusting in. ive just been so confused :confused lately, but if i get sad, im doing my best, this time, not to show it. hes at work now, so i can vent. ill probably go on you tube and listen to some christian music and cry :cry:, cuz im a female, and sometimes thats just what we do. a lot of men i dont think understand this concept :confused so therefore im trying to do it while hes away, however, here comes the weekend, erg, and i wont be able to hide it so easily... maybe i need prayers for that kind of strength. i think i also need prayers that he'll understand, love me reguardless, see my efforts, and not be tempted by this anymore(she was the first person he fell in love with), if that is G*ds will. a prayer that G*d seeing the hearts involved -- for whats right and for mercys sake-- intervenes in some way:pray::help:

[Angelkw]

I am praying for you.

I have been in a situation where my boyfriend did cheat on me, so I understand your feelings of jealousy. However, I learned through my struggles that the focus should not be on her. She has no committment to you, she has nothing at all to do with you or your life. She will make choices to contact him or go even further, but what is important is how he reacts to her and the choices he makes regarding her. It is his choice to accept her communication. It is his choice to ask her to stop communicating. If she won't stop, it is his choice to ignore her or destroy the communication. If you focus more on him, and how he is reacting to her, and you see that he is doing everything he can to show you he is committed to you then it should give you some peace. If you see that he is accepting her communications, or worse, communicating back, then you have some decisions to make. You should be his priority and he should not be doing anything to put your relationship at risk.

Angelkw
:hug:

[Soulangel]

I find it ironic this morning how easy it is to be sitting on the other side of the fence, safe and secure in my God given, loving relationship,giving advice yet there was just such a time in my life where I would be doing the same as you, staying and waiting...... I tell you what I did twice in a row. I had a live in boyfriend of almost three years and he and this other girl were obviously attracted to each other, we all played softball together, he was our coach. In the end I couldn't fight for him, even tho' he was just about to ask me to marry him, because I could see the writing on the wall, and sure enough shortly after I left they slept together, once, and that was that.

I walked into another relationship, not live in, virtually straight away, and shortly thereafter he got transferred to another state on the other side of the country. One afternoon he walked into my flat and announced he'd gone to say goodbye to his ex-girlfriend, which included sleeping with her, and that was okay because, I was informed, we were in a relationship that wasn't exclusive. (Meanwhile I had already caught him at a party outside kissing some other girl previously) My flatmate and I shortly thereafter moved states to go and share a flat with this guy and he expected we'd start off where we left off, he got a shock when I said no!!

My point here with these stories is this, there are men who have these need/s to have more than one woman on their bow string at one time. It strokes their ego no matter which way you colour the flag. You can call it anything you like, but it is not of God, and we woman are the only ones in the end that have to draw on God and say no, no thanks, this is not for me. Yes, it's the hardest thing you ever do because we are facing all sorts of fears i.e. possible aloneness, but we have to trust God, and we have to trust God's plan for our lives. I am extremely passionate about the fact that you can't be friends with your ex because I've seen how one person in the relationship will always be the giver, will always be the one willingly to compromise and the other person is the taker, and it is not until the giver calls it quits and says no more that the taker finds someone else to use. Yes, there's always exceptions, but they are the exception not the rule, like I said, you're divorced for a reason.

You came for support and encouragement. Lovely lady, you truly need love, to not be ashamed of your jealousy, it's letting your radar that there is a possible threat, you can't be expected to stuff it and ignore it. A marriage is supposed to be able to speak freely and openly and honestly, even about these things. My husband and I can discuss all of these things between us really well. My husband would not tolerate this, and at the very least he would be comforting me and letting me know what is going on.

Honey, I'm sorry if this is strong, but I can't stand to see you hurting, it's not fair. God bless you and I pray you can find a way to be strong in Him all weekend long, blessings and dreams, Soulangel

[phares]

thank you for your advice, im waiting to see what choices he will make. im not going to tell him not to write her... that is something he has to want not to do on his own. love cant be taken by force, i know this, especially from being on the other side in previous relationships. when he told me about her writing, he asked me what i thought, and i said --"im not going to tell you not to write her, but do i like the idea? NO!" anyway, he wrote her and i let it go, because she wanted prayer. the only thing i can do now is to wait. he will make his choices eventually and the truth will come out, good or bad, but i dont believe its on me to end things, though, because i already know im devoted to him, and when it comes to the opposite sex, ive been faithful. if he decides he doesnt have the same feelings for me, then he will have to be a man, make his choice and end it himself or at least admit, so, i know that if was to leave, its not because of myself and that i did no wrong in leaving. if any of this makes sense:confused, im starting to ramble. anyway thank you for praying for me, ladies. and thank you Soulangel for "laying it out like that" and for the prayers, wishes, and blessings. thanx and G*D bless.:hug: ps does anyone know how to find moderator chat or something like that, i couldnt find it in the forums...thanx.

[Momof5]

does anyone know how to find moderator chat or something like that, i couldnt find it in the forums...thanx.


Here is the link....just start a thread if you need to.

http://bibleforums.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=84

[phares]

thanx and G*d bless:)