Someone i have mentored

[servantsheart]

I have a question. The person I have been working with and mentoring for the past couple of years never did join a church or ask to be baptised after she went through the sinners prayer with me.
She did show some signs of wanting to learn God's word and she listened to some Joyce Meyers teaching I loaned her. But she never wanted anything else. She stayed close to all of her worldly friends
and up an until the other day she as avoided talking about anything religious/spiritual.
She complains about her husband all the time and yet she does not want to change anything about herself. She brought up her husband again and about having a dream where satan was dressed like a man and trying to get in her front door but she was finally able to close the door.....(all of this and signs that she has been throwing herself at a certain man who is also married)....and yet she stood there and told me she was a child of God.
A CHILD OF GOD?
I did not make a comment back but she knew my head was spinning and asked me what I was thinking. I just changed the subject.
In all truth I was mad becasue I thought she was placing herself in a position with our Lord that she does not really have.
I believe it was a false baptism she went through over a year and half ago. I believe the Holy Spirit was grieved and left her. I see no signs of her bearing fruit from the Holy Spirit.
She is self centered, does not want to change, wants to be the center of attention, thinks she knows it all (about school things), listenes to people who do not go to church and lives in the "world" and believes them over God's word. They told her that God gives us second chances after we die to ask forgiveness and make it into heaven....believe me I got on that one when I found that out...but I think she wanted to believe it her way so I gave up.
What do I do now? If anything, or do I try to start all over with her?
Am I right or wrong about her calling herself a child of God?
Thanks!

[ServantofTruth]

Are you wrong to doubt that she is saved/ a christian? What does the Word of God say?

Are you wrong to look at her actions and speach and wonder if there has been any growth? What does the Word of God say?

What should you do now? What does the Word of God say?


If you are mentoring people, then i believe you can answer your own questions from the Word of God. Love SofTy. :)

[JesusMySavior]

I don't think it's our job to judge whether a person is saved or not. We are called to help them and minister to them and love them.

If they claim the Lord Christ as their own and want to follow Him, help them to follow Him. If they don't, then help them to WANT to follow Him. It's so easy to point the finger, shrug our shoulders, give up, and walk out of a person's life for years at a time.

Which reminds me to call a few of my friends :idea: hahaha

[CoffeeCat]

Servantsheart,

Right now, as someone who encouraged her in her faith and pointed her towards God.... all you can do, and all you need to do now, is just leave her WITH God. :) Pray for her. Continue to show love to her. We can't know for sure if someone is or isn't a child of God, just based on what we see of them alone. And thank heavens it's not up to we fallible humans to decide who's with God and who's not. If it were up to us, I'd be quaking in my boots right now -- Christians have seen me at my lowest, most miserable points in person and I KNOW there are times in my past where, if they could have decided whether or not I was Christ's, they would have said "no way!" even when I in fact was.

We can't assume that because someone struggles, and acts bitterly, and doesn't SEEM to grow in the way we'd want them to or think they should, that they're without Christ. Even if your coworker IS without Him, still.... all the more reason to be patient and just keep on showing His love to her.

If we Christians are fully honest with ourselves and with each other, we are ALL wearing big huge "Construction Area! God at Work!" signs.... or "Closed For Repairs.... Re-Opening Soon!"....or "Work in Progress!" signs... around our necks. It may just be that some of us need more building up and restoration than others. :) What if that's her case? It could be that God's working on her "foundation", buiding her bit by bit. If she calls herself a child of God, then at least you know she wants to BE one.... and that's reason enough to just keep praying.

God bless. I'll pray for you and your work friend.

[steelerbabe]

Leave her in God's hand and continue to pray. I hear your frustration but everyone has free will. I will keep you in my prayers. P.S. I love Joyce Meyer:D

[Sold Out]

I have a question. The person I have been working with and mentoring for the past couple of years never did join a church or ask to be baptised after she went through the sinners prayer with me.

Am I right or wrong about her calling herself a child of God?
Thanks!

First of all, only God knows for sure if she truly trusted Christ for salvation. All you can do is take her at her word that she did.

Remember the Christian life starts out in infancy. What do babies do? They cry, whine, mess their diapers and drink their ba-ba's. Spiritually speaking, that is what she is doing....being a baby Christian.

There are Christians who NEVER leave this stage of growth, and it's very sad. They usually end up being the bitter, worldly Christians that are hard to discern from the unsaved.

With that being said, all you can do is try to continue to help her the best you can, and if you feel you are hitting a brick wall, then let her go. If she is God's child, He will discipline her. He won't let her go so far that she won't feel her Heavenly Father's hand coming down on her po-po.

Don't get discouraged. A lot of new Christians go thru this, and they never move on because no one was patient enough to stick with them thru the growing pains.

[CoffeeCat]

Sold Out makes a good point, here. Babies need and drink milk LONG before they eat 3-course meals. Babies wriggle around on the floor and finally try to crawl a bit long before they're ever capable of running a marathon..... and new Christians aren't too much different from anyone else doing a new thing. They should be encouraged to move on and to grow, but in the end, that's up to God and to them, and solely between God and them, as it ought to be. :)

[UncleDan]

Are you wrong to doubt that she is saved/ a christian? What does the Word of God say?

Are you wrong to look at her actions and speach and wonder if there has been any growth? What does the Word of God say?

What should you do now? What does the Word of God say?


If you are mentoring people, then i believe you can answer your own questions from the Word of God. Love SofTy. :)

When you ask, "What does the Word of God say?", you should include scripture so that the reader can refer to it as "What the Word of God says." Just a thought that I had when reading your answer. :hug: Friends in Christ

[Mograce2U]

Hi Servantsheart,
I discipled my cousin diligently for 5 years and then had to let it go. She did get into church and made Christian friends, but would not let go of her worldly ways. And sad to say she has reaped it during the 7 years since. You can't do much more than try to ground your friend in the word of God and pray the Lord will give her ears to hear it. Some are only looking for "fire insurance". In my cousin's case, she thought I was too serious with all my studying and did not want to become like me. But then neither does she want to be like Jesus either...

[servantsheart]

Hi everyone, thanks to all ...it is tough when you work with someone and this happens...I think I was just questioning if I could have done anything more or differently...but I have been praying this weekend and I think mograce2u worked with someone just like my person. She just wanted a little bit and remain in the world....what hurts is the situation now where she was trying to break up a married man and his family and I know the man. He is depressed and confided that his children are all that is holding him together...I gave directed him to people who can help since he is not a Christian.
I know I am a work in progress and if I were not then I would not be growing in Christ Jesus. I just wanted it all, everything God could give me and cleanse me from. I was lost and so alone and I never want to go back to a place where I don't have my Jesus by my side. I just wanted that for this person as well. But I know she may have to learn the hard way and
truly want Jesus for more than just a tiny portion.
She gets confused because she won't read the Bible for herself all the time and she goes and asks someone else in my building (they don't show a Christian walk either) because they told her God gives you a second chance when you die. If you have not fully accepted him or walked with him! This is something I tried to explain to her was a wrong teaching. But it made her mad.
So I do just want everyone said. I pray for her and just try to be there when she wants to come to me.
Thanks, I just needed to talk this thing out and need some help and support. Bless all of you, Pat

[SpokenFor]

Try listening to either "Hell's Best Kept Secret" or "True and False Conversions" at http://www.wayofthemaster.com/learntoshare.shtml or go to youtube and look up Paul Washer's "Shocking Message". Those messages might give you an idea as to why this person acts the way she does.

[moonglow]

Oh I feel for you servantsheart...Jesus says by their fruits you will know them! Personally I would doubt she was saved...I know we aren't suppose to judge on that...but she is certainly bearing bad fruits. Sometimes all we can do is point out scriptures and pray it dawns on them they aren't saved. It sounds like to me she is wanting to believe in this second chance so she can do what she wants (live in sin) then think she can get a free pass to Heaven after she dies! ugh! What a horrible teaching! I would ask her where in the bible it says we get a second chance after death...

Hebrews 9:27
And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment

There are several passages that help us know if we are truly saved or not...one is whether we have the fruits of the spirit or not:

Galatians 5
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit

I would show these too her and ask her which type of fruit is she showing here.

Also being disciplined by God shows us we are His too:

Hebrews 12
7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?

10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

And a warning for her ..

1 Corinthians 11
27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.

Coffman Commentaries on the Old and New Testament (http://www.searchgodsword.org/com/bcc/view.cgi?book=1co&chapter=011)
Verse 27
Wherefore whosoever shall eat the bread or drink of the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord.

Due to the rendition in the KJV, "eateth and drinketh unworthily," many Christians have erroneously concluded that their "unworthiness" forbade their observance of the supper; but this is not true at all. The rendition here makes the meaning clear that it is not the "worthiness" of the participant which is in view, but the "worthiness" of his manner of partaking of it. Indeed, who was ever worthy to eat the flesh and drink the blood of the Son of God? The moment any man might suppose that he was "worthy" to do such a thing, the presumption itself would deny it. Nevertheless, there is a real danger here. If any person shall partake of this solemn rite without discernment of the event it memorializes, or without regard to the obligations imposed by it, or without any consistent effort to partake of it continually and faithfully throughout his life, or until the Lord comes, or without the due reverence and appreciation due such an ordinance - then such a person becomes guilty of the body and the blood of Jesus, the meaning of this being that he, in a spiritual sense, has become a crucifier of the Lord himself.

Or drink of the cup ...
See under preceding verse.


Verse 28
But let a man prove himself, and so eat of the bread, and drink of the cup.

"Before taking part in such a service, the very least we can do is to conduct a rigorous self-examination." F52 The word used here means "to test" and was used of the testing of metals. The point is that no Christian should observe the Lord's supper in any casual or flippant manner, treating it as something ordinary. It is the central ordinance of Christianity; and the believer's fidelity to it, or infidelity, is fraught with eternal consequences.


Verse 29
For he that eateth and drinketh, eateth and drinketh judgment to himself, if he discern not the body.

Judgment ...
may also be rendered "damnation" or "condemnation," in any event meaning consequences both serious and eternal.

Discern not the body ...
This may be indefinite by purpose on Paul's part. It would apply either to the precious body of Christ sacrificed upon Calvary for all people, or the church which is his spiritual body, the offense being the same either way the text is read. Significantly, it was the failure of the Corinthians that they disregarded the spiritual body (Despise ye the church of God?); and it is a fact that unfaithfulness at the Lord's table in all generations has been one of the most prevalent and hurtful means of despising God's church. Countless souls are continually guilty of this very thing. The apostle here warned of drastic penalties incurred by such negligence.


Verse 30
For this cause many among you are weak and sickly, and not a few sleep.

This has usually been interpreted to mean that physical sickness and death had been visited upon the sinful Corinthians, due to their shameful perversion and abuse of the Lord's Supper; and while it must be allowed that in that age of the church, God did send visitations of divine wrath against wrongdoers, as in the case of Ananias and Sapphira, and perhaps also the incestuous man mentioned earlier in this epistle; nevertheless, the conviction here is that, if that had been in Paul's mind, he could hardly have said that "some sleep," sleep being too mild a word to use with reference to victims of divine wrath.

The meaning which appears to be most likely is that Paul was speaking of those who had become spiritually weak and sickly, some no doubt having perished spiritually. If that was meant, then the condition of those asleep was terminal and irrevocable, being the same as that evident in Mark 3:29; Heb. 6:6; 1 Tim. 5:6; 2 Pet. 2:20; 1 John 5:16; 1 Thess. 5:19. For a dissertation on the unpardonable sin, see my Commentary on Mark, pp. 65-67. The condition of those asleep was no different from that of Ananias and Sapphira; and therefore Paul's gentle word "sleep" would appear to have been spoken in tenderness and regret.
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I think its extremely important she understands this isn't a game and she either needs to get cooking in the kitchen or get out of it...

God bless

[livingwaters]

Oh, Pat, I feel your frustration...but, hey, our God will use something or someone to open her eyes...now, whether or not she acts on it, that's her choice.

I, also, have been dealing with someone telling him who Jesus is and what HE did for all of us. Well, up until about 6 months ago, I thought it was in vain....but, Glory to God, this person has been in church for the last 6 months. God placed the ones that he would listen to (his "running day" buddies who are now the pastor and a very "dedicated to the Lord member in the same church") in his path....Don't under estimate our GOD~~~~ HE is Jehovah Jireh, HE is Elshadi, HE sent HIS Son, MY JESUS, to die for me and you~~~~~Amen. Thank you FATHER....Thank you JESUS!!!!!

You know the Lord made Himself known to me so very "in my face," real, that I want everybody to "get it" the same way I "got it!!!!"

Oh, how I love Jesus, Oh, how I love Jesus, because HE first loved me.:hug::pp:):spin:

[servantsheart]

Thank you livingwaters for your kindness, support and understanding. And thanks moonglow for your support and kindness and scripture too. I kept it. And to spokenfor for the suggestion of messages by Ray Comfort...I did listen to it.
I am praying and taking it one day at a time with her. Since she did not come back to school all broken up I have strong feelings that things are not over betwee her and this man.
Thanks again, to everyone. Pat