Finding balance in life

[Lyndie]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you all. As wives and moms, some of us also have jobs, do ministry etc. how have you achieved a balance with it all? It seems like its a constant struggle for me to maintain it in my life. I am a mom, wife, group leader at church, have a home business, babysit a couple days a week. This doesn't include devotional/prayer/bible reading time, housework, errands, etc. Hubby doesn't help around the house too much either. It seems like I get into the cycle of being so busy that I end up crashing after a few weeks of go go go. (I have a servants heart, so its hard to say no when others ask for help) How do you manage it?

[Christian_lady]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you all. As wives and moms, some of us also have jobs, do ministry etc. how have you achieved a balance with it all? It seems like its a constant struggle for me to maintain it in my life. I am a mom, wife, group leader at church, have a home business, babysit a couple days a week. This doesn't include devotional/prayer/bible reading time, housework, errands, etc. Hubby doesn't help around the house too much either. It seems like I get into the cycle of being so busy that I end up crashing after a few weeks of go go go. (I have a servants heart, so its hard to say no when others ask for help) How do you manage it?

Hi, ok first of all great post.

BUT, I'm not a wife or a mom - am I allowed to answer to this post? I'm a single woman but I also have a hard time balancing and juggling.
I take care of people around me plus work and go to school part-time.

Although I'm not a wife or mom, I would be glad to fill you in all the details of what it's like to down-size my work hours, enroll in school part-time (which I truly believe is what God guided me to do to further my career), stay up late at night studying and/or worrying about paying bills, plus try to control my dirty laundry and dirty dishes from piling up.

:-) CL

[graceforme]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you all. As wives and moms, some of us also have jobs, do ministry etc. how have you achieved a balance with it all? It seems like its a constant struggle for me to maintain it in my life. I am a mom, wife, group leader at church, have a home business, babysit a couple days a week. This doesn't include devotional/prayer/bible reading time, housework, errands, etc. Hubby doesn't help around the house too much either. It seems like I get into the cycle of being so busy that I end up crashing after a few weeks of go go go. (I have a servants heart, so its hard to say no when others ask for help) How do you manage it?

Believe it or not, having a servant's heart does not mean that you never say no. When you become stressed because you are in "overload", it is time to say "no" to someone. God doesn't intend that our lives be out of balanced and stressed like that. When our lives get out of balance, we can't do our best at anything. When that happens, it's time to make some changes.

I was in the same mode as you. Sunday School teacher, music team player, Bible study leader, music ministry in nursing homes, working part time, I even cleaned our 23,000 sq. ft. church by myself. And, for a while I worked 2 mornings a week in our church's coffee house. Whew! I was exhausted and my house looked like I was exhausted.

I had to sit down and very carefully and prayerfully decide which activities were priority. When I sat down with my pastor, we agreed that working in the coffee shop and cleaning the church were causing me stress, so I stopped both of those. This gave me extra time to be at home and get some "domestic" chores done. When my home isn't in order, it creates stress in me. It sure took a lot off of me and now I've been able to be better balanced with my life.

Take time to think about all this, determine your priorities, and then learn to say "no" very lovingly sometimes. When people figure out that you'll say "yes" all the time, they will definitely take advantage of your good nature. And, like I said, being a servant doesn't mean that you have to say "yes" to everyone all the time.

Take care and keep looking up!

[superwoman8977]

I am a single mom who works 40 hours per week, is pregnant with child #3 and has 2 boys ages 10 and 6. The key is balance and the only one that can give you balance is your relationship with Christ. Its not easy we used to have activities and everything and this year I cut it down to one night a week Wednesday nights we go to church. We also have a pretty strict bedtime routine that has helped get the kids a good nights sleep. But the key is balance and knowing what you can say yes to and also being good at saying no. I dont have the servants heart that was spoke of by a previous poster, I serve my family so if it doesnt work with us or interferes with my career (which pays all the bills) then its no and I have no problem saying no. I am not that active in my church, I mean I attend there because there is no childcare I am doing the divorce support group on Wednesday nights only because the kids are in their wednesday night group but most activities I am not involved in since childcare is limited.

[sunsetssplendor]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you all. As wives and moms, some of us also have jobs, do ministry etc. how have you achieved a balance with it all? It seems like its a constant struggle for me to maintain it in my life. I am a mom, wife, group leader at church, have a home business, babysit a couple days a week. This doesn't include devotional/prayer/bible reading time, housework, errands, etc. Hubby doesn't help around the house too much either. It seems like I get into the cycle of being so busy that I end up crashing after a few weeks of go go go. (I have a servants heart, so its hard to say no when others ask for help) How do you manage it?

I have difficulty obtaining a balance also but I've learned to say no to projects, events etc. that are going to sap me of my energy and leave little time for myself or family.

I also came to the realization that there is a season for everything. As much as I'd like do more with the church right now my priority is my family & - children. When they are adults I will be able to be more active in the church and other extracurricular activities that I'm interested in and I believe this is the way our Father wants it for me at this time/ season in my life.

[Lyndie]

Thanks for all the replies. I've been praying alot about it. Sometimes too I think that yes, I believe this is what God wants me to do, only to find out later it probably wasn't. I think I need to make sure I am hearing God, and not my guilty conscience nagging at me to not say no.

[karenoka27]

Just say no. Your ministry for the most part is in your home. Always remember that. Your first priority is to raise your children to know and walk with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You only get one shot at raising your children. You can't go back and do it again. There will always be people out there who are in need and you will one day have plenty of time to meet them.
It is good to have a ministry or serve in the church for your children to see that we need to use the gifts God has given us there.

To balance things out...God first, husband second (it's important that the children see that too!) children third..and the rest where it fits in.

Pray, pray,pray. It's what got me through doing all that you are doing now.:hug:

[cnw]

God should be a natural part of your life so he isn't part of a list but on a Scriptural list it should look something like this

Husband first
kids second
house third
serving your church and others next
then job

When you are in your word and praying naturally and normally other things fall into place and you don't get so worn out. God is God of order thankfully because he helps us put things into perspective. When we get out of order everything and everyone around us falls apart. Also your children if old enough should help out considerably. It takes time to train them to do things, but once they got it it is a relief that you aren't doing it all and they are being trained (Biblically speaking);)

[SethElijah]

God should be a natural part of your life so he isn't part of a list but on a Scriptural list it should look something like this

Husband first
kids second
house third
serving your church and others next
then job



I agree with this. I hate having a messy house, but it happens, especially with a house full of boys. My husband and I had a talk long ago when we had just one child. We decided that we were spending so much time worrying about the house, careers, everything that made our lives busy that we were missing out on eachother and kids. So, we made a pact. When the house became too much of a mess we would tackle it, we would keep it up as best we could other times, but most important we would make time to enjoy each other and the kids. When I start to feel stressed I let him know and we work on it together. Of course we are having a house full of people today so we are making a mad dash to clean clean clean, but it is just family coming over.

[tayariswife]

I think about how I juggle things and my husband is a big help. By this I am not refering to his actually pitching in (although he does help whenever he can). What he is great about is speaking up and being an advocate for himself and our kids. We talk to each other about our decisions and he knows when I am "getting in too deep". DH is quick to let me know when he thinks I may be compromising the quality of my contributions by taking on too much. Maybe your husband can be a help by speaking up when he sees you taking on too much?
Just a suggestion!;)

[flybaby]

I've found the best thing for me and my family is to either just say no or to say "I'll talk to my husband about this" before I commi to anything. That gives me a chance to slow down and think about something before saying yes automatically. Also, it gives me the opportunity to discuss whatever it is with my husband and see if it is something he wants me involved in or not.

As far as balance goes, this has helped me a lot in the past couple of years. Also, limiting our children's outside attatchments has helped. I don't want to be overly committed to a sports team or other such thing. It hampers being able to do the things that come up that we need or want to do. My husband likes us to keep an extremely flexible schedule so that we can pick up on a whim and go on a family trip. I've found that just being together as a family is more important than all the extras of life that I could get sucked into.