I think im slipping into depression

[Chanda]

:giveup: I dont eve know where to start. :(I just got married June 21st, it was a beautiful wedding and centered around God. Now 3 mos... my husband is unempolyed still, we arent going to Chuch as much, he is very unmotivated. Its like I have to beg him to :blush: make love to me. And he doesnt like to do anything anymore, not even family activities, unless sometimes it is with his family. We are both 30 and I know he is my soul mate, he treats me so good and we are so in love, just right now things are tough, I know the devil is trying to bring us down. :B Not only is all that going on with him, I have stuff going on, my panic attacks have gotten worse, im getting off my panic attack meds., so we can have a baby one day, and the withdrawal symptoms of getting off lexapro and klonopin are terrible. Im not motivated to do anything either. I get money for diability cuz my panic attacks are severe and my doctor wanted me on disability to get some money, but it isnt enough. I try to talk to my husband about how we need to communicate and be on each others side, but sometimes I feel like I am just talking to myself. I dont have any friends really, so Im not sure who to talk to. Im outgoing and love to be around ppl and have fun and he is shy and just ok being at home watching tv. I feel so alone. :cry: Maybe this is all happening because of me? Maybe I did something wrong. I feel like Im not doing anything with my life because of my panic attacks, Im not even sure why God wants me here. I feel worthless. Since I was a child my parents taught me about God, my grandpa is a retired Pastor and God has always been in our lives, but recently, I feel like I cant feel Him, or like He isnt talking to me? I feel like maybe it is just me, Im not sure what to do, I pray:pray:, I know I should read my Bible more and I should get back to Church, it just the motivation of doing anything is really tough for me. It seems like every day is the same and we dont get anything done. Im supposed to still be so happy cuz we are newlyweds, but it doesnt seem like anything is going right. I just feel like Im slipping into depression. Im worn out and I dont even do anything really, I dont help ppl and thats all I want to do. Im just confused with everything :sad:. Sorry, I went on and on, Im just not sure who to talk to or what to do anymore. I just hope my marriage isnt failing. :cry:

[Lovesickworshipper]

"coincidentally", my wife and I were married the day before you two. June 20th of this year. it's been 2 days past 3 months of marriage for us. I am younger than you but well...we're all children anyway, right? :D LOVE and RESPECT. It's a book my wife and I have been reading Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It talks about how there are many needs that we, as men and women have in our lives but the primary need of a woman (in a marriage) is love. Meanwhile, the primary need of a man (in a marriage) is respect.

There's a crazy cycle I've found my wife and I stuck in several times that goes like this. I say something that she interprets as un-loving so she feels un-loved. as a response, she reacts in a way that I feel is dis-respectful so I feel unrespected. then I am unloving, she is hurt, so she does not respect me and on and on and on it spins.

my guess is that somewhere along these 3 months, he has started to act in a wya that you interpret as un-loving. In return, you either don't respect him or hav eresponded in a way that he feels he is not respected. (maybe even misinterpreting your plee).

I can say this much though. When we are outside of the center of God's flame, our marriage absolutely crumbles.

YOU are a warrior. your first step is to stop looking primarily at what you are not, what your husband is not and what your marriage is not.

Turn your eyes and look at what YOU ARE CALLED TO BE. Warrior, beloved, child of God, blessed, LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL, BLESSED. . . LOVED...adopted. Look at what your marriage is called to be. BLESSED. an image of Christ and His Church . . . Home... and look at what your husband is called to be. Loving, worthy of your submission, your family's head.

If your husband is stuck in a rut, respect him unconditionally...even though he might not deserve it. Give to him with everything that you are...without expecting in return. Watch how his heart turns. It might take awhile beloved...but keep at it.

God can change EVERYTHING in a moment.

You are loved

you are cherished

you are His bride

you are the one He longs for



In love or Not at all,

Nate

[Chanda]

Thank you. We are reading the book, "The Five Love Languages", not finished ywt, but it is a very good Christian book for newlyweds or anyone married. Last night things felt better and today, they are feeling better too. I just have to continue to pray, read His words, and be positive. Thanks again, Chanda

[Sold Out]

Chanda - Are you both attending a local church?

[Chanda]

Yep, we do, we need to get there more, but we do.

[Sold Out]

Yep, we do, we need to get there more, but we do.

The reason I asked is because you said you didn't really have any friends. It is important for you to connect with other women, especially in church. Does your church offer any women's ministries?

Remember, Jesus said the truth will set us free...but there is a prerequisite:

"Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:31,32

Before God will give you more truth, you need to obey what you ALREADY know is true. You said you guys are not regular to church and personal bible study. By stating this, you know that you should be doing it. I guarantee if you start being more faithful to church, bible reading & prayer, God will start opening doors for you and your husband. God Bless

[Chanda]

I know, but it is hard for me right now to do anything or go anywhere because my panic attacks are acting up, right now I dont feel like I can even go on, Im having trouble even being in my own home with panic attacks.

[Sold Out]

I know, but it is hard for me right now to do anything or go anywhere because my panic attacks are acting up, right now I dont feel like I can even go on, Im having trouble even being in my own home with panic attacks.

My mom suffers from panic attacks. I would suggest you continue your medication until you can get to a manageable level and are able to attend church regularly. You might have to put pregnancy on hold for a bit.

A have a friend who attends a bible study at our house. When she started, she was plagued by panic attacks and was on medication. Slowly but surely she started to come every week, and eventually she decided she didn't need the medication anymore. She's off of it now, AND she is faithful to church and bible study. I hope that encourages you.

[Lesa]

Chanda

Do you realize that coming off of the medicenes that you are on can cause depression and additional attacks?
I am sure your doctor has informed you of that. If not then may be you can ask him to be re-assured.
You said that you were brought up in a family with God in it. Have you personally accepted Christ as your savior? I pray that you have.
Chanda, panic attacks are no reason not to go to church. As a former panic attack surviver I can tell you that ..though embarrassing and frustrating they are not dibilitating. If you attend worship service in a loving environment even if you have an attack you will be right where some one can help you and better yet can pray for you which in turn could rid you of those pesky attacks.
PLEASE do not misunderstand, Anxioty and depression are very serious chemical imbalances in a persons body. And if medical treatment needs to be sought then thats what needs to happen. Dr. Luke that wrote Luke in the bible would be an example that of course we need, at times to seek medical help. And praise God he gave some people the gifts required to be doctors. But if these attacks are not caused by imbalance then the sometimes the more you expose your self to the reason for panic..the more likely they are to go away.
As for your new husband I am sure you will have many praying for you both but you could go up to him and hold his hand and pray for him. If he hears you pouring out your heart to our Savior for him it might just touch his heart.
Sometimes...and I stress sometimes we let ourselves fall in to the "don't feel like it" excuse zone.( and how do I know about that zone?..been there fell in to it so many times whew!!!) Make sure and ask yourself if you truly do not feel good physically or if you are just mentally tired. If you do not physically feel well then a trip back to the doctor is in order. But if you really seach your mind and heart it could be that you are in the excuse zone and the only way out of that is of course GET UP AND GET BUSY, get up and go to church and the most exciting get up and pray for someone else, get up and do something for some one else. YOU will be amazed at how NOT depressing helping others is.
My dear one. IF you truly want help, you have to WANT and DO something about it. Please don't just continue to sit there and make matters worse. Ask your new hubby if you both can go do something for someone. Being unemployed can be stressful but while looking for a job he and you could keep physically and mentally busy by helping others out and especially at your church (but you got to go first they miss you) 1 Peter 5:7 cast your care upon Jesus he LOVES YOU. Pray for the spirit to stir you up and then act on that stirring.

Much love to you.

[Enoch365]

Those Times of Hopelessness

If you are human, you will experience times of hopelessness in life—the dreary feeling that comes every now and then that things have gone terribly wrong and that there is no way to get things straight. Such hopeless times or “crises” are a permanent part of our existence; to never have felt utterly hopeless once or twice in life is not to be human. And maybe one of the worst aspects of these glum experiences is the feeling that nobody knows exactly how I feel, that my particular situation is hopeless in a way no one around me has experienced before.

Now in a way, this idea is true; and in another way it is completely false. It is true that the troubled times we go through are partially unique to us—my particular age, my particular family situation, my particular college plans—make my problems unique to me. And in that way, no one can truly understand my problems one hundred percent. But this notion can be equally false when it goes so far as making me the sole sufferer in my world. It may give me the impression that no one else around me undergoes the kind of crises I do, or at least not to the same extent. This impression is a great illusion.

The first thing I must do, then, in beginning to tackle my bouts of hopelessness, my crises, is to stop worrying about how much my friends or neighbors have suffered from the same dilemma. For my estimation will always be an underestimation. And besides, the habit of constantly comparing myself to the person next to me will more often bring anguish than consolation.

What I must do next is ask myself, “Why has God chosen this particular period of distress for me?” Once you have asked yourself this question, you have begun on the road to renewal. For you will have acknowledged several things at once: that God sees all I am going through; that He is the one in complete control; and that He has a specific purpose for me.

God’s purpose might be to train us up in trusting in Him: like Gideon (Judges 6). Gideon went up to war against many thousands of Midianites; and so he took with him many thousands of Israelites. But God reduced his army to three hundred men and told him to go fight anyway. Gideon’s ordeal was simply hopeless; there was no chance at all for victory, no conceivable way he could win. The one thing he did know, however, was that if it was God’s plan that he should win; then he would win. And he won.

Alternatively, God’s purpose might be to purify us and to pull us out of some sinful habit that is dominating our lives. As the Lord says in the Holy Book of Revelation 3, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.” A church father once put it: “To reach maturity in God’s hand, man has to undergo countless stages of purifying and discipline. God puts to death to bring back to life; he breaks to bind up, wounds to heal, smites to embrace, and banishes to restore to his bosom.”

But even if we do not see God’s purpose immediately, we should wait patiently for deliverance from our present “hopeless” state. For God always delivers. And He gives strength to endure day by day even when the solution has not yet arrived. The important thing to remember is that there is no disarray of circumstances, no matter how confused, that is truly hopeless when God Almighty is also our Papa. Will a father not care for his own son or his own daughter? Yes, God does at times allow us to go through apparently hopeless circumstances, but not without reason. We usually emerge stronger in the end.

source:
http://www.suscopts.org/literature/literature.php?subaction=showfull&id=1088230852&archive=&start_from=&ucat=14&