Very Sad...sister but no sister...

[servantsheart]

As a born again Christian I come here seeking comfort. I am 61 and have a sister five years younger. She knows 'of' God but has never accepted him as her Lord and Savior. Last spring after yet another, attempt to witness to her and my brother in law, I ended up in the ER with stress symptoms causing signs of a heart attack...every thing was fine. I just need not to get my blood pressure up that high.
I have tried on other occasions to let her know I want to be close to her, do things together, laugh together, just be normal sisters together. But to no avail. We have never been close. It breaks my heart ...we are not getting any younger!
But yesterday took the cake. My sister has always been closer to my dad's side of the family...cooler, more aloof, money conscious, position in life important, degrees, etc. While I was closer to my mom's family...my grandmother would have given you the shirt off of her back, pray for you, feed you her last food, etc.
Well our aunt on my dad's side discovered she has cancer of the jaw and was suppose to have surgery yesterday. Since my sister stays in contact with her and out cousin (and thinking one phone call to the hospital was better than two disruptions) I asked her to please let me know how the surgery went. She agreed and I had no doubt that she would.
But by 9:45 p.m. I still had not heard a word. I called her in fear that something bad had happened but my brother in law answered. He was nice but sounded a little nervous, hesitant,....he explained that all went well with the surgery. Adding that Kathy was packing and getting ready to go to Springfield to be with our aunt and cousin. He fumbled about where she was going first and started to say she had a business trip but then said it the other way. Adding that she had run next door but had just come back...I said no I did not have to talk with her and I could tell that she did not want to talk with me either. And my brother in law seemed nervous that he had mentioned her coming back home from the neighbors...I think she had been there at home and up staris but came down before we ended our conversation.
Any way this just hurts because she acts like she had to hide the fact that she was going to Springfield. I had asked to possibly come along since I don't do long driving trips well ...I get sleepy and have to take caffeine to stay awake.
Since we go for months without calling or getting together a thought just kept coming to me today. I 'll pray for her and I have told God that I forgive her for her actions but the thought of just quietly closing the door between us would bring less pain and hurt to me than continuing this act of being family.
I have no other brothers or sisters and our parents are gone...I have children but she has none. I always thought she would soften up some when she got older but instead I think the working/corporate world has only helped to harden her already cold heart.
I am just sorry it comes down to this. There just doesn't seem to be any real love or bond between us any more...if there really was ever one to begin with. And yet I know that if I got a call that she was in the hospital I would drive like a wild person to get to her. I close this now in tears and a very sad and heavy heart.
Please pray for my sister, Kathy and me. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Pat

[walked]

Hi Pat,
Jesus loves you....
Next to God and His family there is nothing more important than our earthly family, I can see You know and understand that.
Jesus loves you and He loves your sister too, just as you are, both of you, if He wants any changes in either of you He will author and finish those changes Himself.
I think the majority of your heart pain is that you and your sister are two different people.

This is my council,
I suggest when you are feeling distant, hurt or sad I suggest you communicate these thoughts to only your heavenly Father and ask in Jesus name for Him to bring any healing and correction needed, if it is His will.
It will be painful for you but patiently wait on your heavenly Father to initiate any healing or correction in these family situations and don't you get involved in it anymore until you see God working in that direction with the other people involved.
If you are the person always trying to mend the fences, rebuild the bridges, heal the old wounds or instill loftier values you see lacking in others it will make you look self-righteous and reinforce the alienation you are already seeing and feeling between yourself and the others involved.
Nothing is impossible with our heavenly Father, I know you love your sister and your extended family, pray for them and talk to your heavenly Father when you are being hurt or are sad about these family situations, talk about your thoughts and feelings with Him.
Just drop all of it in His hands and (keep asking) your heavenly Father to get involved in it personally and, then be quiet step out of the family situation to give God the time and room to work His will there... when you see God working in it, then bring yourself back into the picture, but until then trust and have patience in your heavenly Father to work His will there.

[servantsheart]

Thank you walked, your words of council hit the spot.
After I was able to forgive her and talk with God through my note here and as I talked (to him and not with him) during my day, things started to clear some. Then your words really cleared the rest of the fog away. You are so right about giving it to God and stepping back.
I just say, Thank you God for walked and this forum. You have helped me to find some peace and comfort through all of this
May God bless you for your faithfulness to Him and his word. Pat