I am looking for some Guidance.

[dbrace]

Hello,
I recently joined this forum because, I'm not new to Christ, but I'm ready to make a change in my life and become more of a christian. Recently, I met this girl back in my home town and we hit it off great. We both enjoyed each other's company and, I go away to college, so we miss each other when I am gone. So, everything was going well until yesterday when she explained to me that she doesn't think she sees herself with me because I am not a full fledged christian so we went back to being just friends and she also asked for some space for awhile so I gave it to her. Before yesterday, she was fine with it and knew that I was making a transition into becoming a more devote christian. She has been under a lot of stress lately due to her first week of tests in college. What I am asking for is some Guidance. What do I do? Im willing to fight for her because all I can think about is how much she meant to me. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

[walked]

Hello,
I am not new to Jesus either.
The Lord Jesus and His Father the Creator, created man for His pleasure we were created and are here to please, serve and be used by Him....
God is willing and able to make any man or woman His child for His purposes, we were not created to use God for our purposes.
He wants children to work His will on earth, children who seek Him for His mercies so they can share those same mercies with their fellow man....

After reading your post on this thread I think you would do good to pose these three questions below to yourself, and If you answer them correctly then your girlfriend should be happy to get back with you, and you will not need any guidance or advice from any man or woman here because God will be guiding you with His promised Holy Spirit.
1, Are you opportunistically trying to use a profession of faith/trust in God to influence your girlfriend ?
2, Are you returning to God to please and serve your girlfriend or are you earnestly wanting to please and serve God ?
3, Are your goals set on the temporal things of this world ? Or, are your goals set on your eternal restoration to fellowship with your Creator ?

[SFASH]

My heart goes out to you on this dbrace. You have my promise that I will pray for you.

I know it sounds easy to give advice here, but I hope you can put your heart and mind on the Lord, seeking Him, leaving this relationship in his hands, and waiting on Him alone to bring it to resoluton...one way or another.

If, in the Lord, she belongs with you, you don't need to 'fight' for her. It sounds to me that she is very concerned about being with someone who will put the Lord first in all things...in fact, she was gracious enough to tell you that.

Your relationship with the Lord must surpass your affection for this girl. or any girl, if, in God's kingdom, you are ready. Now Praying!

[Frances]

As you say that you are not a full-fledged Christian, you would do well to spend time considering truthful answers to 'walked's questions.

As far as your girl-friend is concerned, I suggest you give her the space she needs - if you crowd her too much she may well feel the need to escape - whereas sufficient supportive space, while knowing you care deeply about her, may well result in the meaningful relationship you desire.

:pray: that the Lord gives you wisdom. . . and that you have the determination to grow spiritually as He desires.

[dbrace]

I would like to give you my answers from the questions posed "Walked".
1. At first, I probably did this to try get her back, but after talking to Buck_shot, other Moderators, and everyone else, I realized that I needed this to happen for me to open my eyes and realize I am not the person I am or want to be. Funny how the Lord gives us guidance in different ways sometimes eh?
2. This one really hit close to me. I don't know where I would be if the Lord didn't put this girl in my life and had these things happen to me. I mean, if it wasn't for her being truthful and saying things that hit me very strongly, I don't know if I would've have came back to the Lord and seek guidance from him and devote my life to him. So, I am very thankful for her saying things to me in order to get me headed in the direction of the Lord. Again, maybe this was the Lords plan all along. Funny how He works sometimes eh?
3. Before this thing happened, I was, what I thought, living a good life. But, after these things happened, I saw that I wasn't living the life that my Savior wanted me to live. With this whole incident, it has opened my eye's and made me realize that the best life for me to live is though Him, and I have now put all of my faith in trust in Him because there is no better life to live than to have my Savior as my guidance and Father.

After answering these questions, I have two more for yall. The first one is, what do you think of my answers? I feel like this was His plan all along to get me to get really close to this girl, and have these things happen, in order for me to realize I am not the person I thought I was, and open my eye's and devote my life to my Father and my Savior. The second is, yes I told her I would give her space and plan to do so, but I really would love to tell her thanks for opening my eye's, and telling me that I need to pursue my Savior before pursuing her. My only fear is, I want to tell her this but I don't want to intrude on the space I have promised her, and have her be upset because I wasn't able to give her adequate space. Any advise for me would be greatly appreciated because I am having a hard time trying to figure out what to do (I am praying about this though).

[Sold Out]

If she is saying that where you are spiritually is not enough for her, then I would back away. First of all, no one is in a position to judge your relationship with Christ.

If she is looking for spiritual maturity, then she should have been more specific and kind. If you think she is worth fighting for, then really start concentrating on growing spiritually. Show her spiritual maturity!

[dbrace]

Yea. Like I said in a different thread Sold_Out, I was reading through Romans 15 and it reminded me of what she said. She told me that "she wants someone who talks her up on Christianity, not someone who questions her." I just now remembered that she also said "I need someone who is up to the same maturity as I am.", but she didn't mention if this was spiritual maturity. The thing she said about "someone talking her up" had me question some stuff. I was reading through Romans and I came across this, "1 We who have strong faith should help the weak with their problems. We should not please only ourselves." Romans 15:1. It got me to thinking, when she said this to me, did she kind of contradict what we all are supposed to be doing, according to Paul? And I hope she gives me the chance to show her the spiritual maturity I have made, but I believe that my Savior will make that decision. Hopefully it's very soon though :D.

[walked]

Thats real good news dbrace,

...To answer your 1st question: Yes, the Lord does work in mysterious ways and one usually wont see those ways He used until well after the fact.
Also: ALL things do work toward the good of those who love Him.
...To answer your 2nd question: I would still give our Lord sometime to work here I suggest that you talk to Him (daily) about your thoughts on your and her future, another thing to consider is His command to be quick as a fox and shrewd as a serpents applies here.... If I were in your shoes, I would wait for a chance encounter with her and then still not mention your growing relationship with the Lord but demonstrate it with actions rather than words, and also no mention of any of your thoughts of your and her future relationship. Then maybe the next day or two send her a note/letter thanking and praising her fortitude which is what has brought you to start changing your life and is bringing you closer to our Lord, affecting your life by changing your attitude about life in general.
In your note or letter still with no mentions or suggestions on the possibilities of your and her future together but just thanking her for having a part in changing your life's direction.
Then give our Lord some more time and pray for another chance encounter before wooing and or courting her for a future relationship.
I'll be praying with you.

[dbrace]

Thanks Walked. I plan on writing a letter to her. My only problem is, is that I she still hasn't given me a chance to encounter with her yet and I am afraid that sending this letter will encroach on the space she has asked for, and I don't want her to be upset with me because I sent this letter. Any Ideas?

[walked]

My main advice is: to keep praying and telling your every thought about this to our Lord in (daily) prayer, and to give our Lord sometime to work His will in this area, try to have patience in waiting on Him to work His will into your future.

Secondly: I think a letter or note would be the least intrusive of any of your options as long as you don't mention or suggest anything about your thoughts on your and her future relationship in this note or letter because this is where she seems to want the space/freedom, she wants some freedom/space from other influences impacting her future but is willing to submit to our Lords influence on her future, this is why I emphasize your patience in giving our Lord time to work His will here.
The thing to keep in mind when communicating with her is for you to not express 'any' of your wants, needs, hopes or desires on her at the moment.

[dbrace]

So I just finished writing the letter and I am asking for your guy's opinion.

Hey X,

I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me, especially in the past couple weeks. Now, please don’t take this as sarcasm because it isn’t, I really am thankful for the things you said about me. The things you said have brought me to start changing my life for the better. These changes are bringing me closer to our Lord, which is affecting my life and changing my attitude about life, in general, for the best. When we first met, I said I believed in the Lord, but it turns out I wasn’t even close. But the things you said opened my eyes and help me find a life that I want to live, by having the Lord as my Savior. Benjamin Franklin once said, “'Tis great Confidence in a Friend to tell him your Faults, greater to tell him his.” I am so, thankful for what you have said to me because, if not, I wouldn’t be living a life under my Savior. Again thanks for everything you said and I hope the stress in your life begins to settle down.

X

Any suggestions on how to make this better or to take some stuff out would be WONDERFUL!!

[Sold Out]

Yea. Like I said in a different thread Sold_Out, I was reading through Romans 15 and it reminded me of what she said. She told me that "she wants someone who talks her up on Christianity, not someone who questions her." I just now remembered that she also said "I need someone who is up to the same maturity as I am.", but she didn't mention if this was spiritual maturity.

I'm going to tell you why she wants this....EVERY WOMAN WANTS THIS!

We need a man who will lead in ALL areas, mainly spiritual. She wants to be challenged by you, not the other way around. So don't get too discouraged. Just let it strengthen your resolve to stay focused on growing in grace. It just takes time, and hopefully God will help you 'skip a few grades' (spiritually speaking) so you can be that strong spiritual leader! God Bless.

[walked]

I have no suggestions for additions or subtractions in your letter.

I will suggest you hold off on sending it, keep praying and waiting on the Lord to bring your and her paths to cross, then a day or two latter send the letter.

Trust Him.