Relationship questions?

[jonjon11]

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months tomorrow. We are both Christians, she is more devote than I and I am losing my life to the world it seems. We are in Love and all we can explain is that God put us together and he is pleased with our purity. I had some questions about wrong and right things though, seeing that right and wrong is an opinion and some things feel right when they might be wrong. I do not sleep very well and I am always tired so usually when my girlfriend and I are together I sneak a nap in her lap or arms, because I sleep better and feel more rested. Is that ok, or should that not been done? We are in total love with each other, but we have been noticing that we are not really going any where in our relationship. It usually consists of watching a movie or going for a walk, tv, or texting, seeing each other at school or soccer and thats about it. What are some cheap or free things that we can do to go deeper with each other? It's been a few days, but she has dreams about being raped by random men and she had one a few nights ago, some times it goes on for 5 or 6 days then goes away for a month then comes back. How do we strike the root of this attack? She has never been raped or abused. Her parents are divorced, but I don't think that would cause any of this. I also struggle with pornography and masterbation and I feel like i am addicted to it. I hate it, but i keep going back to it, even when I have no urge to look at it. I need help.

[Frances]

Have you thought of studying the Bible together? and/or praying together? (particularly before you say "good-night")

[graceforme]

Have you thought of studying the Bible together? and/or praying together? (particularly before you say "good-night")


Excellent suggestion! There are good devotional books available for couples (married and single). Doing the devotion can lead to good Bible studies. Also, do you both attend church? Getting involved in a group at church will not only help you grow spiritually, but getting involved in church activities will help socialize you with other Christians. We all need that interaction.

Praying together will help the two of you grow closer, not only to God, but to each other. Bible study together is a wonderful way to enrich your relationship.

Is your girlfriend on any medication regularly? I took Zyrtec for an extended period of time and started having horrible nightmares - so bad I was literally afraid to go to sleep at night. I did some internet research and found that this could be a side affect, if taken for a long period of time. Some medications have weird side affects, and they might not even be listed on the pamphlet you get at the pharmacy. It might take extended research to find them. Maybe this is one factor in her having nightmares. It's just a thought she might want to consider.

I hope and pray things go well for both of you. Take care and God Bless.

[Literalist-Luke]

There is nothing wrong with "sneaking a nap" in her arms or lap so long as you both stay fully dressed the whole time and as long as it doesn't lead to any inappropriate touching.

I second the excellent suggestion of studying the Bible together.

There is a woman who I am very close friends with - she's actually my best friend. She's made it very clear that she's not ready for any romantic attachments at this point and I have chosen to respect that (although I keep hoping the day comes that she is ready), but we spend literally hours discussing the Bible and spiritual things. Our long, long talks have gotten us to the point that I'm convinced we're actually more closely bonded to each other than most married couples. I've never known anybody in my life who I feel as free to be totally open with, and she says she feels the same way about me. Our discussions about the Bible is what led us to that point. Maybe you can have the same experience, but with a romantic element added. :)

[jonjon11]

Excellent suggestion! There are good devotional books available for couples (married and single). Doing the devotion can lead to good Bible studies. Also, do you both attend church? Getting involved in a group at church will not only help you grow spiritually, but getting involved in church activities will help socialize you with other Christians. We all need that interaction.

Praying together will help the two of you grow closer, not only to God, but to each other. Bible study together is a wonderful way to enrich your relationship.

Is your girlfriend on any medication regularly? I took Zyrtec for an extended period of time and started having horrible nightmares - so bad I was literally afraid to go to sleep at night. I did some internet research and found that this could be a side affect, if taken for a long period of time. Some medications have weird side affects, and they might not even be listed on the pamphlet you get at the pharmacy. It might take extended research to find them. Maybe this is one factor in her having nightmares. It's just a thought she might want to consider.

I hope and pray things go well for both of you. Take care and God Bless.
Yes, we both attend church, it has dropped off a little sense we both participate in soccer and our games are usually on the day our youth group is. She doesn't take any medication that i am aware off. It could be caused by stress i believe maybe? Before we were dating we found ourselves pouring out on each other bible verses and we would often stay up late discussing spiritual things and just stressful strongholds i would guess, but not so much any more. I really kind of miss it; to be honest i wold rather have that time back than have the romance in the relationship right now.

[Sold Out]

I really kind of miss it; to be honest i wold rather have that time back than have the romance in the relationship right now.

You are just out the 'honeymoon' phase of your relationship. Everyone knows that honeymoons don't last forever!

Now you have to work at the relationship. You have a bond based on a mutual respect for each other as Christians. Now you just need to build on that, especially if you see her as a potential marriage partner.

I don't know if you have heard of this movie called 'Fireproof' with Kirk Cameron? It just came out this last weekend. It's about a man who almost loses his wife and decides to fight for his marriage. This would be a great movie for you to see with her, to give you a glimpse of what a good or bad marriage can be if it's not founded on the right principles. My son took his girlfriend to see it last night and they absolutely loved it.

Also, to help you deal with your personal struggles, you need to get this book: 'Every Young Man's Battle' by Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn. My son had the same struggles, and it helped him immensely.

[Lesa]

First and formost let me say Thank you and Way to go. I am so very impressed with you. Young persons today with your determiniation are very lacking. YOU GUYS ARE GREAT and yes I promise Our Heavenly Father is pleased with your purity.

What you are experiencing with your relationship is the normal thing that usually happens even after your married. I would like to suggest one thing though. Whether it be once a month or once a week or more often why (in addition to the getting back into bible study with one another) why don't you and your girlfriend speak with your pastor or youth leader to see if there are people in need. When you go help others it builds appreciation
and when you do it out of a sincere heart it will build your love for her and her love for you. Also, it will build friendships and enrich your lives.

As for your addictions also look into Neil Andersons series. And make it a heartfelt matter of prayer.
I know I will be praying for you both.

thank you so much for being true and having the respect for Christ.

from a mom that hopes and prays that my son will do the same.

much love to you.