Falling in love with an unbeliever

[Jezarha]

I have been falling in love with this guy who is in all my classes at college and so I see him often and we also talk to each other a lot and have helped each other with our homework. I know it is totally not good for me to fall in love with him so how can I stop from falling in love with him?

[Lynbob]

If you are spending enough time to begin to have feelings for him, have you had the chance to discuss your religious beliefs?

[Sold Out]

I have been falling in love with this guy who is in all my classes at college and so I see him often and we also talk to each other a lot and have helped each other with our homework. I know it is totally not good for me to fall in love with him so how can I stop from falling in love with him?

Meditate on these scriptures:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" II Cor 6:14

"But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you."I Corinthians 7:28

Paul tells us (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit):

1) Do not have relationships with unbelievers
2) Marriage is hard (trouble in the flesh)

Why would you want to consider a relationship with an unbeliever, which could result in marriage, and marriage is already hard enough with two believers?

This is a situation where you are going to have to practice a little faith. Faith is not feelings - faith is taking God's Word over your own. If God said don't have relationships with unbelievers, then don't. It's for your own protection.

[ServantofTruth]

I have been falling in love with this guy who is in all my classes at college and so I see him often and we also talk to each other a lot and have helped each other with our homework. I know it is totally not good for me to fall in love with him so how can I stop from falling in love with him?

My answer probably won't be easy to hear. I think this depends on the strength of your faith and level of growth since baptism. At church do you try to mix with the mature christians? At home in private do you pray often, study the bible daily, attend praise/ worship and feel genuine emotion - not hype created by externals around you?

Are decisions made by you alone, or by seeking advice of Spirit filled mature Christians and in prayer.

I don't want any answers, especially on the open boards. We mustn't judge ourselves by what that Christian did in our family, or that Christian friend who i'm better than because they did 'x,y or z.' Or even by the members of our church, because if they are not acting as you know God wants us to via scripture, well you need a new church.

You know what the Word of God, the bible, says. You can speak to a pastor or minister - in the private section of the board in in real life. May our Lord guide and bless you, SofTy. :pray:

[starlitskie]

One thing me and my partner realized is that we cant be friends with the opposite sex if its not in group situations. A bad habit I had is telling my "guy friends" problems and they would start getting all "Aww are you okay?" and every time they said it i wanted to punch them!!! Lol. I decided to tell one of my close guy friends that i cant be friends with him any more as my partner is now doing with one of his friends who are girls. Even though you are not in a relationship it is the same sort of things. If you are going to be friends with someone of the opposite sex it should be in public and in groups and stuff so nothing can go to far. You need to set the boundaries and make sure he knows that you are only friends if you want to stop yourself from falling in love with him. If thats not what you want i would personally stop seeing him but then im not in your shoes ^^

[Emily]

When I started to develop a closer relationship with my now boyfriend (who was once just a friend who was a non-practicing Catholic, full of doubts and questions on Christianity) I knew that I could not develop a relationship with him if he was not a believer. Not just because of the "unequally yoked" issue, but because I knew I could not love someone who did not love, and was not devoted to, Jesus. The reality for born again Christians is that people who are not submitted to Christ can NEVER see our true beauty, can never truly know us, truly love us or truly appreciate us--because they are not centered in Jesus Christ. They may fall in love with our outward appearance and love our personality and what not, but that is not who we REALLY are.

Anyway I warned my then-friend (many) times that I could never be with someone who wasn't a born again Christian. The more we talked, the more he started to come around. He did his own investigating and reading and came to his own conclusions. Lucky for "US" he chose to follow Jesus. :)

I think now is the time, before you really start to develop serious feelings, to draw the line in the sand. You need to come to the realization on your own that you cannot have a relationship with a non-believer. You may be too young to realize this, but it will bring you many years of emotional pain and trauma if you do. If you allow this to happen, you may make a very adult decision at a young age that will haunt you for a LONG TIME TO COME. This may seem like a harmless crush, but if you allow yourself to go against what God has said NOT to do, and allow yourself to fall for a non-believer, you will reap serious repercussions. You need to decide for YOU that you cannot be with a non-believer, and promise the Lord that you will not allow yourself to become involved with a non-believer.

If someone you're interested in does not come to Christ, then too bad, sayonara, move on! Wait on the Lord to bring the right man in your path. If you choose someone for yourself, instead of letting the Lord bring a man to you, believe me, you will have MAJOR problems.

Stay strong. Concentrate on developing your relationship with the Lord and try to set aside romantic thoughts about this non-believer. Try to remember also that men who are non-believers often have an easier time cheating on you, flirting with other girls, looking at porn, going to strip clubs, and lots of other disgusting things that men do that in their non-believing circles, with their non-Christian friends, is oftentimes not only acceptable but VERY MUCH ENCOURAGED. Christian men are highly HIGHLY discouraged from doing these things, and hopefully their holy spirit convicts them when they wane, and not only that but they are taught in the Bible to respect and love and protect and provide for their wives. What would you rather have, a man of God who will love you as Christ loved the church, or a man who is not submitted to Jesus and so is submitted to satan and the disgusting things of this world? Think about it!! Christian men are definitely the way to go!!!

[The Preacher]

I have been falling in love with this guy who is in all my classes at college and so I see him often and we also talk to each other a lot and have helped each other with our homework. I know it is totally not good for me to fall in love with him so how can I stop from falling in love with him?


Stop spending time with him. A relationship with an unbeliever that God didn't setup can be a disaster of a lifetime. I was caught in the same trap 20 years ago and I still bear the scars. Rest assured that you creator has the proper mate for you and he will bring him at the proper time. It might even be this person but not at this time. Because if God is trying to reach him a relationship with you will be a distraction for him as well. :hmm:

[DaniHansen]

You may end up falling in and out of love a few times before you marry your life partner. It's okay. Just don't let your feelings dictate your behavior, but set your relationship with Jesus above all, and surrender all other relationships to His care and ultimate control.

Feelings can be deceptive, and our heart can play all sorts of tricks on us, but nobody here is in a position to play God and tell you who you can and cannot fall in love with. Ultimately, you alone know where your priorities and loyalties lie, no matter what other people tell you. I can tell you from personal experiences, though, that putting Jesus first, and placing all other relationships in submission under Him, will always be a solid choice.