seriously discouraged/asking for advice

[Natalie1128]

well, I am 32 years old and I have a 13 year old daughter. I knew that having a child at 19 wasn't going to be easy, but I honestly didn't think I would be struggling this hard for the last 14 years. I come from a family with serious issues. My mother has a major anger addiction, but to this day she is completely unaware of what her actions do to those around her. I have rushed into 3 relationships since my daughter was born just to get away from her because as a teenage single mother with a GED, I didn't have the ability to afford my own place. Well, I broke it off with my last relationship not that long ago and was forced to move back in with my mother since I had nowhere else to go. I have begun to attend a home church in a very serious way. I have finally gained the courage to give myself completely to Christ and to live my life the way that He wants. I want my daughter to experience the joy of living in a life that is guided by Jesus, however, my mother's extreme anger issues are having a major effect on us. As much as we try to appease her, there is no end to her verbal abuse.

I feel extremely guilty that I cannot shield my daughter from the same emotional abuse I suffered in my childhood and on and off again in my adulthood. I have done everything I could to take care of my daughter and give her the best life possible. I have always worked as much as possible and missed out on a lot of precious moments with her because of it.

I am just so tired of trying and trying. I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep praying on it, but I can't help getting discouraged. I really wish God would show me the answer already. I know that everything happens in His timeframe, but I don't know if I have the strength to hold on much longer.

I need all the prayers I can get to help me get through this without having to resort to moving in with the next guy I meet in order to get away from my mother.

I would greatly appreciate any prayers and/or advice that anyone can give. Praise the Lord

[Richard H]

Hi Natalie, :)
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. :cry: On the other hand I’m glad that you got serious about the Lord. :pp

I was raised with an angry parent, although – being the youngest, I didn’t catch the brunt of it.
You may not be able to shield your daughter, but she’s 13, so she’s more able to handle it than a very young child.

One of my favorite verses for dealing with angry people is Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

I know it’s tough, but continue to model a Christian attitude for your daughter.
I’m not saying be a doormat, as some people interpret meekness (able to be taught).
Still, forgiveness and love - are what you want to project for your mother and your daughter.

Watch out for the tricky traps that angry people are prone to set as excuses/reasons to get angry.
The angry people that I have known are hurting people.
They may even feel insecure and strike out in the idea that the best defense is a good offence.

You may not be able to get your mother into counseling, (I probably wouldn’t bring THAT up),
But you might seek one at your church – just so you have someone to vent to.
Don’t vent to your friends – at least not too much.

Show kindness and thoughtfulness to your Mom. That will disarm her a bit.
Read your Bible in front of your Mother. You two may just end up in a conversation where you can share. (not “convert”)
Let the Word and the Holy Spirit into the situation and see what happens. :pray:

Richard

[Sold Out]

Natalie,

Since you are sort of 'stuck' for the moment, you could take this time and turn it into a teaching opportunity for your daughter. Use the verse Richard quoted, and show her what the bible has to say about anger.

Maybe God has you there for such a time as this. Who knows if God will use you to reach your mom in a powerful way? Be as Christlike as possible, because you might be the only Jesus she ever sees. God Bless.

[Emily]

Hey Natalie, I for one am very familiar with the difficulty of waiting on the Lord. The feeling of "how much more can I stand?" (scary question! Because God knows the answer! :lol:) and "when are you going to cut me a break already, Lord?" is such a horrible feeling. For me, this feeling is ... being filled with frenzied and impatient anticipation, part anxiety as I wait to be delivered, yet filled with hope and happiness in the security of knowing that the Lord will eventually deliver me. I have also felt the pit of despair when I give up hope that God is even listening. :cry: I am presently in that place of "waiting" unfortunately, but thank God my hope and faith in the LORD has been restored. :) (Probably because of the prayers of His children here on this board.) :hug:

I just posted this to someone else (its from a devotional by Os Hillman) but I'll post this portion again, because when I read it I was just filled with excitement and happy anticipation of the Lord's deliverance:

"Jacob had come to the end of his rope. He had lost Joseph. Simeon was in jail in Egypt. Now, in order to free Simeon, Benjamin, Jacob's youngest son, would have to go to Egypt. It was more than Jacob could handle. Jacob could not see the years of preparation for what would be the most exciting time of his life and the life of a nation. The darkest hour is the hour just before daybreak. Jacob was in his darkest hour just before God's daybreak in his life."

Wow! I find this very exciting. :pp Things are pretty dark right now. I am aware that things could get worse. But for now, I patiently await the daybreak, because I know it will come. :rolleyes: Jesus won't let either one of us down. "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness". Daybreak will come for us, my friend. :hug:

[Natalie1128]

Thank You all so much for your words of encouragement. My day was much better after praying last night. My mother even apologized "in her way" by talking about how crazy she was feeling yesterday after taking a certain medication for an allergic reaction she had and that she wasn't going to take it anymore(after consulting the Dr. first of course)

Anyone who has lived with someone who has anger issues can probably understand what I mean when I refer to an "indirect" apology

Writing that post last night really helped me a lot.

I am so happy that I have the Lord in my life now!

Thank you Jesus for holding me up when I don't think I can do it anymore
:pray: