Want to be normal

[scaredALLways]

Hi
I'm new to this so please accept my apoligies if I ramble or don't post correctly.
I have so many around me that are suffering and I can't even think about it or my heart start racing and I start panicing.
I feel so very selfish but it's not intentional, I have such deep emotions for anyone that is sad, going through hard times or struggling with something but I can't seem to handle reality.
I am scared.
Scared of seems to be everything.
Scared to go to car in the mornings, scared to get in elavators, scared to drive across bridges, scared of dying (constant), scared to go to Dr. for fear theres' something wrong, scared sometimes to go to sleep, scared to be alone, scared of being confined, scared of eating tainted food, scared of soo soo much and my vivid thought of morbid horrible things go along with it, so anytime someone I love is on the road or I'm not with them, I fear for them as well. I do believe in God, although I feel like I have lost my faith because even though I don't know the Bible as I should, I do know it says something about, God does not give us fears and trust in God. I'm just so tired of feeling crazy, less than normal, selfish, unable to enjoy life. My Dr. put me on adderral for ADHD about 5 years ago and I'm scared every morning when I put it in my mouth that it will be the one that causes my heart attack. I'm trying to wean down on my dosage. He has prescribed depression medication but I'm too afraid to take anything else. I really think that God Alone is all I really need but I don't know how to give it all to him, so I'm asking for prayers, suggestions and help, so I can be strong and helpful for others around me that are truly suffering from REAL true things going on in their lifes.
Thank you so much for reading and in advance for any responses.

[Ashley274]

:hug: Hi and welcome. God gave us doctors and medication......please see your doc and take your meds as prescribed, because chemical imbalances can cause much of what you describe and will help if given time at the proper dose. THE DOC AND MEDS ...MAY just be the answer to your prayers. Seek therapy too...talk .....I do not take meds for these issues but once did for anxiety and panic......I took them and then after years was able to quit and funcion fine.....so I do know how fed up , sad and frustrated you must feel ...I am praying for you.

[Soulangel]

Dear friend, one of the most challenging things you do when you feel and think this way is to step out from inside yourself and ask for help. I can feel how bound up on the inside you and the the tension headache you would have just from giving this post because it goes against everything you feel you should do. The fear suffocates you and your life. How do I know this? Because I've been there to my friend, and I know we are not alone at all. Breathe a sigh of relief now.

The fear that grips you is not something you can control on your own, that is a myth. If you can read the book of Job and understand the book of Job and you will understand how God is in control of our lives at all times. The other side of this is the stress you have been under in your life time creates a chemical imbalance in your body and as the first poster quite correctly says God supplies doctors and medications to help you through this time.

It is important that you have Him in your heart and a good doctor at hand. We cannot and should not do this alone - that is what the enemy wants you to do - be alone. When the fears come learn to prayer prays of protection for the people or situations concerned, I know it will be difficult at first, but you can win through. Keep a bible handy, and if you can't remember scripture keep a notebook handy and just write scripture, this way you will be writing scripture into your heart for your head to remember later. It gives you peace at a time when peace is not normally found.

God bless you :pray::hug:Soulangel

[Richard H]

Hi Scared,
Did you have these fears or anxiety before the adderall?
Perhaps your doctor can put you an alternative.

See what he/she says.

You are right. God does not give us a spirit of fear.
(Not to be confused with the fear of the Lord)

Have you made a decision for Christ in the past?

I sounds like you’re in a constant state of panic.
My heart goes out to you. :hug:

‘Praying for you, :pray:
Richard

[Lesa]

Dear heart

There was this hidious time in my life that I worried and was so scared all the time. And there was this HUGE knot in my stomache that felt like it was twisting like a tornado. Anything and everything seemed to make it worse I would actually go around holding my stomache because it hurt.
OF course along with that came the panic breathing and rapid heart beats. Guess what happened? One day I thought I could not take one more ounce of pain with my stomache twisting like it did
That afternoon this scripture kept popping up every where I turned.
1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you
In my books that I was reading, on the radio I was listening to and on the television that I had watched. THEN I GOT IT.
Jesus himself was waiting for me to let go. He was telling me in every way possible to let him have it.
I went to the foot of my bed and hit my knees. I poured out my heart, fears, anger, frustration everything that I had in my head and in my heart I poured out and at the end of it I said Ok Father I have put this on your Son I have cast all of this to him I don't want it no more,I can't do anything with it on my own and it is making me sick.

Do you think that imediately it stopped? No, not immediately I got up off my knees went into my kitchen ..(still holding my stomache) sat down at my table ...doubt started in my mind and I said STOP Satan! My Heavenly Father told me to cast all my cares on his Son my Savior and that is what I have done and that is where you are going to leave it.
About fifteen minutes later the knot in my stomache totally relaxed. AMEN!
Does it come back? You bet! Do I recast and rebuke ...OH YEA!!!!

Sometimes it takes repeating scriptures. So my prayer for you is to gain wisdom of the power of God's word. My dear , in Christ all things are possible. In order to fight the flesh and the evil spirits that we war with you need God's word. Please set aside time to study and meditate on HIS word. You can't fight with an empty sling you have to have the rock to go inside.

Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men [it is] impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.

Luke 18:27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

You have the POWER of a sound mind. You have a Heavenly Father and His Son along with the Holy spirit and NOTHING in this world can take you from them NOTHING. Learn His word. Learn what power you have in HIS word. You are precious to HIM and He does not want you to be afaid.
Maybe you could start your studies but researhing fear and comfort.

If you are experiencing FEAR it is NOT from God.


2Timothty 1:7 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/2Ti/2Ti001.html#7) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Romans 8:15 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/Rom/Rom008.html#15) For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Isaiah 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Rom 8:31 (http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/Rom/Rom008.html#31) What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who [can be] against us?
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Much love to you

[livingwaters]

:pray::pray:ing for you, Scaredalways...It has to be a devastating life to live in fear all the time and of every thing. My heart goes out to you..The Bible says if we seek and draw near to God, HE will draw near to us...You are right about HIM being able to deliver you from all of that bondage...See, satan is the one that's got you tied up...Sooooo, just tell him that the Lord rebukes him and you rebuke him in Jesus' name...put him under your feet where he belongs. It will take time, but through the HOLY SPIRIT who lives in you, you have the POWER OF THE ALMIGHTY GOD....THE SAME ONE WHO MADE HEAVEN AND EARTH. Alleluia...Put scriptures around your home about the power and love of God...about how we are heirs with God and joint heirs with Jesus...now, please tell me what satan can do about that~~~~~~Speak scripture aloud, play gospel music, play Christian dvds, just make "the house of the LORD!!!":pp:pray:;)

God Bless:hug:

[scaredALLways]

When I got home from work I came straight to my email and seen I had responses, instant smile and relief. Thank you so much for the replies and the friend requests. I know I have to go to a Dr, a new Dr., I go to one now but he seems to be more of a medicine man and would prescribe whatever I think I need and at this point its very hard for me to take anything and it's very hard to tell anyone face to face what goes through my head, I try to laugh it off with folks and say it's rough when your crazy and simply say, I fear alot of stuff. I don't even go into all the details with my own husband, I have been telling him that if I don't do something I'm afraid I will truly lose my mind so I have gotten to the point that I'm aware that I must do something, especially as I get older and I see the lines on my face, and my folks hitting 70, extreme fears set in.
I spend each morning standing at my front door telling myself, I can do this, I can do this and then run to my car, I check the front & back seat & trunk with surrounding area before I enter, then get to the closest store where I can have some human contact and then head to work, after another car check, with my inside car lights on and slow way down if anyone gets beside me and theres even times I will move around alot within my car when I go under a overpass for fear of a sniper or something. I usually hold my first pill for about 15 minutes and try to assure myself that it's not going to cause a heartattack and then take it once at work when I realize my dependancy on it is horrible and I won't be able to function if I don't take it. Once I'm at work, I have a very busy and stressful job so I'm usually ok unless I have to get on the elavator by myself or with someone I don't know and then that period is spent thinking of what I would do if it stopped or if the person next to me pulled out a weapon or something, luckily it's a quick ride. As long as I stay busy and in contact with others I'm ok at work for the most part just extremely stressed and their have been a few times when a panic attack has occurred and I've felt like I was dying but thankfully those times are rare. After work, I try to stay very busy but as it gets later in the evening, my mind starts going into overdrive and I have vivid, morbid thoughts of horrific things that could happen, scared of windows, scared of shower, scared to go in garage (usually just try not to) and think the horrible trouble I have with my stomach must be cancer or due to smoking (which I sooooooooo want to stop and am trying to wean them down each day) my ashma, or panic attacks I always assume are some horrible disease thats eating up my insides and my days are limited or the bad veins in my legs, if they hurt I think it's a clot that will move to heart or head, so by bedtime, I'm reading devotionals, writing out prayers or staying up and trying to stay busy so I can keep my mind busy. I end every conversation to my children with I love you with all my heart for fear I may never see or talk to them again. Yes, I have 5, but only my youngest daughter (10yrs) is home still, I'm proud to say my oldest son is in college to become a minister, youngest son, 1 yr left to become firefighter, oldest daughter just started college this year to become a nurse and I have a 16 year old daughter(moved to her Dad's at 14 :() is going to Francis Tuttle and will be a licenced cosmotoligist by the time she graduates. I try to hold all my fears in the best I can because I dont want them to grow up and turn out like me afraid to live. :(They just think I'm a silly mom thats scared of too much and worry too often.
Ok well I've rambled on much too long, sorry to take so much of your space and time, I thought maybe if I wrote it out, if anything, maybe I could just print it and hand it to a new Doctor. :idea: I will say I feel better just telling someone. I also feel better because I took the quiz on are you normal in here last night and I answered CARROTS. :pp haha
I am also trying to wean myself down to only 2 pills a day instead of the 3 because I read somewhere that adderral can cause fears to increase and I don't think it helps me to focus as it did when I started several years ago and one of the side effects, rare-sudden death, so that explains why I'm scared each time I take it.
I have always struggled with on again, off again depression and from what I understand my childhood many many years ago, wasn't too great, although I don't remember much of anything before around the 6th grade and then its pretty sketchy. I do know as a young child there was a year or two I couldn't handle being away from my mom and went through several counselors and what not to get my education but like I say, I'm 42 years old so I'm not sure If that plays into it any.
I have the book, "The purpose Driven Life" that I'm determined to committ the 40 days to and I know I need a closer walk with God to ever find true peace and happiness.
Sorry again, I continued didn't I?
Thank you again and again for welcoming me and letting me bend your ears, it is so much appreciated and will try each suggestion and give much shorter feedback to how it's going.
With love,

[Cherish]

Scared- I know where you are and my heart aches for you. I had my 1st attack when I was 9 months pregnant with my son. I was literally scared to death. I had no clue what had just happened but it was the beginning of a long journey.

But I can say that is what led my back to the Lord. Every day I get better and I am claiming my healing, because Satan doesn't want us to. Its been since March of this year but again I can say I am getting better.

I was scared because I had a new born son that I wanted to enjoy with my entire soul, but the panic and anxiety of the next attack robbed me of that. I had to take a stand because if I didn't it would have been horrible.

I highly suggest you have your thyroid checked. Many times when our thyroids aren't functioning correctly it sends us into depression, panic and anxiety. Some of the symptoms I had included those as well as my hair falling out, rapid heart beat, heaviness in your chest, mind fogginess, fatigue. The list goes on.

But I just had to post to you and let you know that you aren't alone. I can tell you it can and will get better. I am praying for you. Please PM me is you want to talk or have any questions. I will help you in any way I can.

Blessings!!!

[Soulangel]

Dear Scared, I've just found the time to finish reading your post, what a great idea to take it to the new doctor so that they can read it. They would then really get the truth, not the half hearted picture that we like to give and hide behind - I'v done that before in my time too!! "It's okay, I'm strong enough to handle this on my own" so I use to think, and not tell the whole story! Don't ever think you write to much information, you keep saying however much you need to get out, better out than in!!! If you keep it all locked inside you just blow up from holding it in there!!:eek:

I hope everything has been going smoothly for you, keeping you in prayer, Soulangel:pray: