Miserable

[*Living~By~Faith*]

Never mind. I decided that I don't want to discuss this any further openly on this board.

[ConqueredbyLove]

I definitely don't want to end up with a marriage like my parents.

Would you mind sharing what happened with your parents?

I know my parents won't be there. My mom has other plans and my dad never goes anywhere.

This sounds really, really hurtful!

I feel like such a failure...as a Christian, daughter, sister and friend... as a person in general. Especially as a Christian... I just can't focus on prayer or bible study because my mind wonders during that time and I don't know what to do about it.

You are not a failure! I know I cannot convince you of that but you are a treasured soul and so very, very valuable to God! When we are depressed or hurt it is extremely difficult to focus on prayer and Bible Study! I am just beginning to come out of my lowest state ever and believe me, I could not pray for anyone! Does this make us a failure? Absolutely not. Because God does not value us by what we do or do not do. He values us because we are a unique creation of His. So very loved, that He chose to die for us. We are not defined by what we do or do not do. We are defined by the valuable creation of God that we are.

I feel completely alone most of the time, even when I'm at church with nearly 200 people there. I wish I had somewhere secluded to go where I could focus completely on God without any distractions, but there isn't any way for that to happen right now. I don't like being around people when I feel like this.

Your heart is hurting, isn't it?

I regret not telling the guy at church that I liked him. I wonder what may have happened if only I would have said something to him. But I guess it's too late for that, he's now talking to someone that he is interested in. I can't stand seeing him talking to that other girl. But one day I'm sure I'll understand why I didn't get together with that guy.

I don't know who to turn to for help. I don't have any family members to turn to and I don't want to go to my church family. One because I'm too ashamed to and secondly for fear that this will become known in the church.

That is a hugh, hugh issue, what you said. Too ashamed. Shame is the devil's breeding ground. I heard it called the "demon power of shame" once. Shame is a horrible, horrible emotion! It was shame that Jesus despised while on the cross. It is a disastrous emotion and in churches we hide it so well.

Has someone shamed you, precious soul?

As for it becoming known in the church, it is tragic, but it is so often true. I hate to say it but some of the worst gossips I have known are church members....

Sad, tragic, but true....

[FaithfulSheep]

First of all, :hug: to you.

Now some questions. How is your prayer life and Bible time? Do you attend a Sunday school class or a small group Bible study?

I have some more to say, but I'd like to see your answers to these questions first.

[Sonia Smit]

Hi Living by Faith,

First of all, I think the fact that you are not married yet, or planning to do so, or the fact that you didn't tell the boy you like him, is because of your parents. Why do I say so? Our parents are our building blocks through out our lifes. They lay down our foundations, and the fact that you saw how they are handling their marriage didn't help you. What I think you should do, and it is not going to be easy, is that you need to sit down with your parents and talk with them. Tell them exactly how you feel, and ultamately tell them that you forgive them, but you need to tell them what you are forgiving them for. This is a huge boulder for you, emotionally, and could be your spiritual block. Did I mention it is not going to be easy?

Secondly, when a person is at their lowest, it is especially during this time that you need to be with people. We as human beings want to crawl back into our shells and let life go by when we are feeling low, ask me I know. But the thing is, we need to keep our heads high. We need to show satan that we are persistent, and that we won't let him get to us.

What I also think you should do, and I trust you will, is there a park near to where you are? Or somewhere out in nature where you can go and sit and feel relaxed (maybe a place that is special to you?), take a notepad and pen with you. While you are sitting there and admiring God's creations, not just the nature, but the people also walking or jogging through the park (or wherever you are), write down everything you feel are hurting you. Everything you feel angry about (and don't worry about feeling bad when you do this, because it is between you and God). After doing that, go onto your knees and pray. Ask God to take everything away that you wrote on that piece of paper. I know you said that prayer is a bit difficult for you, but try to do so, it will help you a lot. Remember, you might cry through this whole thing, but crying is never a bad thing! After you prayed, what you should do is burn the paper you wrote it on. By burning it you declare that it is God's problem now. I know you are going to say :o because I said it's God's problem, but God wants to help you to heal and He will help you. Then you don't look back, everything that hurt you and that made you angry is in the past. DON"T LOOK BACK ON IT!

Ulitmately God wants us to turn to Him for help. Yes, He sents people on our road to assist Him, but He wants us to trust in Him and not in people.

I know this is going to be hard, and that you are not feeling positive, but remember that the Lord loves us and He wants what is best for us.

:hug: for you and good luck!

[FaithfulSheep]

LBF, sometimes when I begin to read the Bible I too have difficulty concentrating. When that happens, you need to stop what you are doing and pray right then. Tell the Lord that you want to learn more about Him and read His Word but you are having trouble staying focus. Ask Him to keep assist you in keeping your attention where it should be and He will indeed help you. We are called not to just "know the Lord" but to be in an intimate relationship with Him. If you are not, that can be fixed. Now is a great time to return to prayer. Acknowledge that you haven't been reading or praying like you should and ask Him to bring you back to a relationship with Him. If you truly mean this, He will bless you with your request.

Small group Bible study and Sunday School classes are a good way to make some Godly friends as well as make close friendships. There are things I would feel comfortable telling people in my Sunday School that I wouldn't tell my friends I don't go to church with. I highly recommend you continue to go to the prayer group. When we interceed for others in prayer, the Lord blesses them, but He blesses us as well. I must leave for awhile, but I will be back on later this evening if you would like to tell us some more or talk further. :hug:

[FaithfulSheep]

Never mind. I decided that I don't want to discuss this any further openly on this board.
Last edited by *Living~By~Faith* (http://bibleforums.org/forum/posthistory.php?p=1815819); Today at 09:34 AM.
This thread shall be closed to comply with LBF's request. :)