Sexual sin & restoration

[chasing light]

I was addicted to pornography for many years which manifested into sexual sin. I've been praying and seeking God for a full restoration for quite some time...about a year and a half. I've since managed to break the addiction, or should say God broke it for me, but I still struggle greatly with the damage it has done to my heart and the images it has left on my mind. I've gotten much support and prayer from my wife and friends but still can't seem to break the chains of oppression. Is there any help for this brokeness?

[paradiseinn]

Hey Light,
patience and prayer.
Are you praying for you?

[chasing light]

Yes, I pray throughout every day. I read Scripture and Christian help books dealing with sexual sin and recovery. I have considered a live-in program at Pure Life Ministries. Has anyone ever heard of it?

[Slug1]

Hey CL, welcome to the forum and this BtC section :hug:

I read all you have posted and want to ask about the prayer that you have received. Have you spoke to a pastor about all this? One who will deal with this on a spiritual level also.

I have posted my testimony in the testimony thread in BtC and is #14: http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthread.php?t=89266

In a statement in that testimony I stated that I was delievered... it was the real deal, I puked up those demons that kept me bound even after giving this sin to God about a million times. When I fasted that day and confessed it all, I held nothing back from God and from all with me that day. I confessed it all and was not held back by any embarrasment from what I was doing in private. I left nothing in that closet for satan to use and have access to restock those shelves.

Now, I praise God and allow Him to use me to help others with this chain and together we can give the glory back to Him :pray:

[turtledove]

As you keep changing your focus this will surely help change your thoughts. The battlefield is the mind. Old images just don't die easily and there are often reminders of how it used to be.

But, keep in the Word, in good fellowship, and keep right on praying.

You are set free even though the enemy wants to keep at you. He has lost and will have to leave as you keep resisting. It is showing that resistance by posting what you have here.


It helps me to remember:

John 8:36
If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

owl..:)praying for your continued freedom and healing of the effects of past sins. In the Name of Jesus.

[EaglesWINGS911]

Chasing Light...I can relate to struggling with images in your mind. I still struggle with that. The thing that I've found most helpful is to simply think about something else when those images come to mind..start praying, denounce those things..say something (even if it's to yourself) like "I have been set free by Christ, the old man is gone away, all things are made new. I CHOOSE right now to place my thoughts on Christ right now...those old things are NOT me anymore."

[chasing light]

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers & testimonies.
I've had much deliverance prayer & fellowship with my closest friends and a couple of what I consider my personal pastors, as well as group prayer.
I have been utterly broken by this sexual immorality and it's consequences...left with nothing but what seems like a shell of an existence. At times my spirit seems to break free with what I perceive as a word from God letting me know that He has in fact not left me nor forsaken me...but the enemy consistently rushes in to try and steal it. I know God's timing is always perfect and so I try to be patient and think on Scriptures.
I'm seriously considering some sort of sabbatical to devote as much time as possible to God, reading and meditating Scripture; I don't care what it takes. When you have fallen so far and God shows you exactly what a wretch you've really been...NOTHING in this world can ever reflect the importance it once held. Without God, Jesus, & Holy Spirit at the forefront of life, there is no life.
I pray for His hedge of protection during this time, ever how long that is, to fend off the fiery darts of deception, to be courageously and steadfastly obedient.
You all are in my prayers with gratitude for sharing and strength for your own struggles.

[Slug1]

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers & testimonies.
I've had much deliverance prayer & fellowship with my closest friends and a couple of what I consider my personal pastors, as well as group prayer.
I have been utterly broken by this sexual immorality and it's consequences...left with nothing but what seems like a shell of an existence. At times my spirit seems to break free with what I perceive as a word from God letting me know that He has in fact not left me nor forsaken me...but the enemy consistently rushes in to try and steal it. I know God's timing is always perfect and so I try to be patient and think on Scriptures.
I'm seriously considering some sort of sabbatical to devote as much time as possible to God, reading and meditating Scripture; I don't care what it takes. When you have fallen so far and God shows you exactly what a wretch you've really been...NOTHING in this world can ever reflect the importance it once held. Without God, Jesus, & Holy Spirit at the forefront of life, there is no life.
I pray for His hedge of protection during this time, ever how long that is, to fend off the fiery darts of deception, to be courageously and steadfastly obedient.
You all are in my prayers with gratitude for sharing and strength for your own struggles.In your OP I read that you have been repentant for 1.5 years. Now as I read this post it sounds like satan has dragged you down for all this time to keep you from claiming your blessings. When you say...

When you have fallen so far and God shows you exactly what a wretch you've really been...NOTHING in this world can ever reflect the importance it once heldGod will show you this "before" you surrender, not after you surrender... satan will show you this after your have surrendered and cram it down your throat and drag it all through your insides so you can't get it out of yourself... yeah, he's stolen your blessing and as you say... devote yourself to God and reclaim that blessing.

Repentant for 1.5 years... Brother... the moment you stand up from kneeling on the ground you are forgiven and washed clean of this sin... you HAVE to forgive yourself as well!!!!!!!!!!!

IMO that is the number ONE way satan steals blessings... keep them bound to their sin even when it's been forgiven by God.

I've given into temptation and sinned since I was forgiven and delivered as satan tries to reopen that door... I roll with the punch in the guts, dust myself off, get on my knees and humble myself before God and spill my guts to Him and ask for forgiveness. When I stand, I'm forgiven and ready to battle the next time... what I have learned is satan's tactics when the temptation is incoming and I run for cover under God's wing and I start swinging the Sword of the Spirit and run satan through as the battle remains in my mind.

I couldn't do this if I never forgave myself for all I did to hurt my wife and just keep myself lower then roadkill when I should be allowing God to restore me.

Forgiveness.... once you forgive then restoration can begin. Sounds like restoration is on the waiting shelf as God waits for you to forgive yourself.

[chasing light]

Slug1, thanks for your insight...I think you're pretty much right on with everything you said. I have beat myself up & down with all this. But lately I've been feeling less self punishing and more forgiving of myself. Then I get attacked with something like "too little, too late". Does that make sense? I try not to go by emotions and feelings cause I know they can give a false reading. Some days I'll be feeling better and thankful and then I'll start to wonder why. It's an agonizing circle.
I just finished a book by R.T. Kendall called 'God Gives Second Chances' & started another one by him called 'How to Forgive Ourselves Totally'. Both are very good Scripture based books and have given me some new perspectives.
How do I log onto The Vigil support group forum? It tells me I don't have permission to access this page.

[JesusReignsForever]

Chasing Light...I can relate to struggling with images in your mind. I still struggle with that. The thing that I've found most helpful is to simply think about something else when those images come to mind..start praying, denounce those things..say something (even if it's to yourself) like "I have been set free by Christ, the old man is gone away, all things are made new. I CHOOSE right now to place my thoughts on Christ right now...those old things are NOT me anymore."


Amen! You have to denouce those thought...Sometimes you have to plead the blood of Jesus. I suffer with the same things I try to stay comitted to the church, reading my bible, christian music, I try to occupy my mind with things of God and not give the devil space to try to put those things in my head. Keep fighting God is faithful!