Question about friends who dont agree with your faith

[yoyoyo]

I have been saved in june of this past year by going to a retreat. It was literally me going to retreat on a sunday not really caring about God, and coming back on wed. being filled with the holy spirit and wanted to learn as much about God as possible and know his heart and grace. Well since then, my friends and fraternity brothers have come to realize that i have been saved. At first, they kinda made jokes about it, and admittedly i did also because i didnt want them to think i was wierd, but now i feel like they question me about every little thing. If i feel like i dont want to go out drinking with them, or i do go out with them and just drink one drink, they make me feel like ive changed for the worst and that im becoming "preachy" and "wierd". Theres an old saying that the only 2 things you dont talk about with friends are politics and religion. So should i just keep my mouth shut when it comes to religion or should i just distance myself from them because they always make it seem that having faith and not doing certain things is stupid and useless?? I still love all my friends and actually have really fun times with them when we are not talking about religion and stuff.

[WonderWoman4Jesus]

Well, I find it best to lead by example with those that don't believe. If you show love to others and service, it can make others want to know why you seem so peaceful and fulfilled. Make sure you pray and are open to being a friend to these people as it can open up good opportunities to talk about Christ. You can show your love for Christ and faith without pushing it onto people.

[gpmosely]

I have been saved in june of this past year by going to a retreat. It was literally me going to retreat on a sunday not really caring about God, and coming back on wed. being filled with the holy spirit and wanted to learn as much about God as possible and know his heart and grace. Well since then, my friends and fraternity brothers have come to realize that i have been saved. At first, they kinda made jokes about it, and admittedly i did also because i didnt want them to think i was wierd, but now i feel like they question me about every little thing. If i feel like i dont want to go out drinking with them, or i do go out with them and just drink one drink, they make me feel like ive changed for the worst and that im becoming "preachy" and "wierd". Theres an old saying that the only 2 things you dont talk about with friends are politics and religion. So should i just keep my mouth shut when it comes to religion or should i just distance myself from them because they always make it seem that having faith and not doing certain things is stupid and useless?? I still love all my friends and actually have really fun times with them when we are not talking about religion and stuff.

I TOTALLY AGREE With Wonderwoman4Jesus 100%!!

The best thing in the world to do is lead by example. If they question why you don't want to do something (like drinking) just say you don't want to. If they ask if it has something to do with your faith, just give them that old smile of maybe it does, maybe it doesn't...and just continue with your evening and maybe change the subject to sports or something.

That's all you gotta do :)

[yoyoyo]

yea. i definately agree with you guys. But they keep asking me about it and i feel like most of my friends try to get opinions out of me just so they could deny it and tell me how wrong i am. i dont know. most times i really just try not to say anything at all about it. But i remember some verse in the bible talking about you should preach it without being embarassed about it. and that got me thinking that maybe i should talk about it. But i am going to continue praying about it.

[gpmosely]

yea. i definately agree with you guys. But they keep asking me about it and i feel like most of my friends try to get opinions out of me just so they could deny it and tell me how wrong i am. i dont know. most times i really just try not to say anything at all about it. But i remember some verse in the bible talking about you should preach it without being embarassed about it. and that got me thinking that maybe i should talk about it. But i am going to continue praying about it.

Well, that bible verse is basically telling you to never ever be ashamed of your faith.

I suspect your friends have always enountered the christians that are "holier than thou" and think they are better then anyone OR the christians that go around talking about Christ non stop to the point they think they are crazy.

Without knowing for certain, you really have to take into consideration their back ground and understand that they may be of the world (again, because I personally am not God, I cannot judge them) and if they are they won't understand.

Mankind spooks easily. If someone fears something they will retaliate in the best way they know how- be it killing someone or making fun of someone or trying to intimidate you. Case in point- everytime I see a spider, I scream and while I'm across the room I beg someone to squash it for me.

Mankind, especially those that do not know Christ and have only had experiences with Christians that are very bad- will react in much the same manner- but they will do it in a lot less subtle way then screaming across the room and begging someone to squash you with a big shoe lol They will do it through intimidation and trying to provoke you and trying to shake your faith.

They are only doing it because they simply don't understand and because they don't understand they are afraid.

So- if you want to uphold the verse- if they ask you something and you are doing what your supposed to be doing by living the way God wants you to, then explain to them why so it's a lot less frightening for them. in little pieces.

If they reject that- that's fine. But remain confident in your faith. :) Keep the faith, youre doing a good job and keep praying :)

[the inside out]

The Bible is your friend! lol Dig into it! The answers to your questions are right there!

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
1 Peter 3:13-16

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 2:12

They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.
John 15:21

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
1 Corinthians 15:33

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Proverbs 13:20

My advice: FIND CHRISTIAN FRIENDS!!!! Find a good campus ministry with men of the Faith who are willing to disciple you.

Let your friends tease you! Withstand it. Jesus took crap from people, too. And since he suffered persecution, so shall you. So take pride in it because Jesus has overcome and you have victory in him.

[GitRDunn]

Well, I find it best to lead by example with those that don't believe. If you show love to others and service, it can make others want to know why you seem so peaceful and fulfilled. Make sure you pray and are open to being a friend to these people as it can open up good opportunities to talk about Christ. You can show your love for Christ and faith without pushing it onto people.
I agree with this 100%.

I have been saved in june of this past year by going to a retreat. It was literally me going to retreat on a sunday not really caring about God, and coming back on wed. being filled with the holy spirit and wanted to learn as much about God as possible and know his heart and grace. Well since then, my friends and fraternity brothers have come to realize that i have been saved. At first, they kinda made jokes about it, and admittedly i did also because i didnt want them to think i was wierd, but now i feel like they question me about every little thing. If i feel like i dont want to go out drinking with them, or i do go out with them and just drink one drink, they make me feel like ive changed for the worst and that im becoming "preachy" and "wierd". Theres an old saying that the only 2 things you dont talk about with friends are politics and religion. So should i just keep my mouth shut when it comes to religion or should i just distance myself from them because they always make it seem that having faith and not doing certain things is stupid and useless?? I still love all my friends and actually have really fun times with them when we are not talking about religion and stuff.
While being a living example of your faith to them is important, it also wouldn't hurt you to start looking for some new friends, maybe a good church to go to with some people around your age? Give your friends some time, this is new to them, but if they don't change after awhile, you might want to think about finding some new friends (like I said earlier) because if they won't accept you for who you are, with or without faith, then I don't know if they are truly good friends. I have friends who aren't Christian and we get along great, it's not that we don't ever talk about religion or anything, we just respect each other's opinions.

[Revinius]

I hate axiom 'don't talk about politics or faith'. It's one of the reasons there is so much ignorance about Jesus.

[jh099]

I hate axiom 'don't talk about politics or faith'. It's one of the reasons there is so much ignorance about Jesus.
Faith and politics are almost always a topic of conversation amongst me and my friends. We've gone into the early hours of the morning talking about that stuff dozens of times. It would be boring beyond belief if we always kept our conversation light and steered clear of controversial stuff. If you can't engage your friends in deeper conversation, they're probably not very close friends...

[locboxx]

Absolutely do not keep your mouth closed about Jesus and His work on the cross.

I am going through the same thing, most of my friends think im weird now and that I have gotten all preachy. Dont mind them, the Bible says people will hate you, but they hate you because they first hated Jesus. People will do anything to stay in their destructive sinful ways. The friends that dont want to hear the truth and want to live a life of sin have stopped talking to me, but God has graciously replaced them with blessings that are so much better! It is better to live for God and tell every one about Him then to live silently and get to Heaven one day and have to answer to Jesus about how you lived your life silent instead of on fire for Him.

Dont be discouraged. if you need anything like prayer or just to talk, go ahead and PM me, im goin through the same stuff as you. Jesus will help us :)

[livingwaters]

Jesus said to preach the gospel...Seems you have made known to them that you follow Jesus. Now, they have heard about Jesus and they have to make a choice. You can't make them choose salvation, only God can do that....the Word says that we may have to leave family, friends, or whomever in order to follow Jesus....Maybe it's time for you to find Christian friends.....the Word says not to forsake assembly.....that's with other Christians. The Word says do not be in unequally yoked relationships...this is not just about marriage!!! Beware of being in the company of non-believers, as you may fall into their temptations!!!! The adversary is very cunning!!!!:hug:

Also, light and dark do not go together!!!! You are a light for Christ....non-believers are the dark for satan!

[yoyoyo]

Jesus said to preach the gospel...Seems you have made known to them that you follow Jesus. Now, they have heard about Jesus and they have to make a choice. You can't make them choose salvation, only God can do that....the Word says that we may have to leave family, friends, or whomever in order to follow Jesus....Maybe it's time for you to find Christian friends.....the Word says not to forsake assembly.....that's with other Christians. The Word says do not be in unequally yoked relationships...this is not just about marriage!!! Beware of being in the company of non-believers, as you may fall into their temptations!!!! The adversary is very cunning!!!!:hug:

Also, light and dark do not go together!!!! You are a light for Christ....non-believers are the dark for satan!

Yeaa. I joined a good Christian club with people around my own age and thats been a huge blessing because i kinda feel like they've been going through the same stuff i have been. But i really wanted to keep all my new friendships strong as well as my old ones. But i think my old friends are sort of drifting away and it sucks because i really dont want it to since they're my best friends. But im trying to just keep praying and realize that im not really in control of situations like these. Im still trying to learn that part haha. By the way, your bold part about the Word saying you might have to leave some family, friends and etc. I remember reading something along the lines of that in the bible during the summer and just KNOWING that this was gonna be a very hard part when it came around.

[yoyoyo]

Absolutely do not keep your mouth closed about Jesus and His work on the cross.

I am going through the same thing, most of my friends think im weird now and that I have gotten all preachy. Dont mind them, the Bible says people will hate you, but they hate you because they first hated Jesus. People will do anything to stay in their destructive sinful ways. The friends that dont want to hear the truth and want to live a life of sin have stopped talking to me, but God has graciously replaced them with blessings that are so much better! It is better to live for God and tell every one about Him then to live silently and get to Heaven one day and have to answer to Jesus about how you lived your life silent instead of on fire for Him.

Dont be discouraged. if you need anything like prayer or just to talk, go ahead and PM me, im goin through the same stuff as you. Jesus will help us :)

Hey man. Im pretty dense when it comes to stuff on the computer and dont really know what PM means. Is it like IM (instant message)? But i added u as a friend. I dont really go on the computer too much but it would be cool to see how your situation with your friends ended up. But IM tho. im always signed on with my phone. Later bro

[Revinius]

Hey man. Im pretty dense when it comes to stuff on the computer and dont really know what PM means. Is it like IM (instant message)? But i added u as a friend. I dont really go on the computer too much but it would be cool to see how your situation with your friends ended up. But IM tho. im always signed on with my phone. Later bro

PM = personal message - when you click on his profile, you have the option to send him a personal message. :)

[Ekeak]

Wow, I must say, your change is amazing to me. By amazing I mean a difference from what I usually see. For example, young adult gets saved, he goes home and forgets about it. You, on the other hand, have actually curbed your drinking habits. That's AMAZING! :D Well, if there's really a change in your heart, and I mean really, really a change, don't be afraid to let others know about it. Some Christians in other countries could get their tongues cut out, or get crucified or burnt for evangelizing. However, don't be discouraged. Jesus will be there for you every step of the way, and he'll never, never change. God loves you.

~Jack

[GitRDunn]

Yeaa. I joined a good Christian club with people around my own age and thats been a huge blessing because i kinda feel like they've been going through the same stuff i have been. But i really wanted to keep all my new friendships strong as well as my old ones. But i think my old friends are sort of drifting away and it sucks because i really dont want it to since they're my best friends. But im trying to just keep praying and realize that im not really in control of situations like these. Im still trying to learn that part haha. By the way, your bold part about the Word saying you might have to leave some family, friends and etc. I remember reading something along the lines of that in the bible during the summer and just KNOWING that this was gonna be a very hard part when it came around.
Just remember that whatever happens with your old friends is basically up to them. You have shown them that you still want to be friends, so it would their choice to break up your friendships. If they can't accept you for who you are, then I don't believe they are quite as good of friends to you as you thought. All you can do is your best to keep the friendships there and the rest is up to the others. Remember, whatever happens with people here on Earth, God will always be with you and that love will never waver.

[Christian Sweetie]

Yeaa. I joined a good Christian club with people around my own age and thats been a huge blessing because i kinda feel like they've been going through the same stuff i have been. But i really wanted to keep all my new friendships strong as well as my old ones. But i think my old friends are sort of drifting away and it sucks because i really dont want it to since they're my best friends. But im trying to just keep praying and realize that im not really in control of situations like these. Im still trying to learn that part haha. By the way, your bold part about the Word saying you might have to leave some family, friends and etc. I remember reading something along the lines of that in the bible during the summer and just KNOWING that this was gonna be a very hard part when it came around.

It will be extraordinarily hard to let go of these friends. I know exactly what you're going through. I was only recently saved myself (July 2007) and I know how tempting it is to remain friends with people who are just poison for your relationship with Christ. It's good that you've joined the Christian club and eventually those friends who are teasing you will fade into the background and be replaced by your new friends. The most you can do at this point is keep the lines open for them to get a grip and accept you, all the while becoming actively involved in your new life. Trust in Christ! :)

[motorcyclesfly]

I have been saved in june of this past year by going to a retreat. It was literally me going to retreat on a sunday not really caring about God, and coming back on wed. being filled with the holy spirit and wanted to learn as much about God as possible and know his heart and grace. Well since then, my friends and fraternity brothers have come to realize that i have been saved. At first, they kinda made jokes about it, and admittedly i did also because i didnt want them to think i was wierd, but now i feel like they question me about every little thing. If i feel like i dont want to go out drinking with them, or i do go out with them and just drink one drink, they make me feel like ive changed for the worst and that im becoming "preachy" and "wierd". Theres an old saying that the only 2 things you dont talk about with friends are politics and religion. So should i just keep my mouth shut when it comes to religion or should i just distance myself from them because they always make it seem that having faith and not doing certain things is stupid and useless?? I still love all my friends and actually have really fun times with them when we are not talking about religion and stuff.

Wow, that's really great that you got saved! Can you share more about what happened at this retreat which helped you?

My opinion on your friends is that, even if you never utter another word about being saved, they are going to have a hard time with your transition to a Christian life. I believe everyone unsaved can hear God calling them. Sometimes, that call is all but drowned out by living a decidedly secular life, being surrounded with non-Christian friends and ignoring any hint of Christ in the world, but having you there is forcing your friends to confront stuff they'd rather not have to deal with, like making a decision to follow Christ or not. Even if you aren't preaching at them, every time they look at you and see the change, they are confronted with the reality that they will need to make a choice too.

I think you should continue what you're doing. Don't drink if it makes you uncomfortable or if you feel it will damage your credibility as a Christian. Talk about your faith and beliefs in a friendly, welcoming, non-preachy way. If your friends are really your friends, they will come to accept this as part of your life. Maybe, some of them will decide to investigate more. If they can't cope with you being a Christian, then they are not looking for friends but for others to wallow in sin with them, because misery loves company. Find other people who can appreciate you as you are.

[EvangMike]

Yoyoyo - Hi. You have asked some very good questions.

The Lord Jesus will often lead us to a place where there is a crossroads in our lives. The choices we make at those crossroads can effect us for a long time - either to enable us to grow in Christ or to hinder potential growth - possibly for a long time to come.

The crossroads always come when we understand some clear teaching of Scripture. The Scripture reveals something we are not doing - but should be - or some sin that we need to stop. Either way, a choice must be made. Follow Christ, and blessing will follow you. Turn from Christ's will - and lose His blessing (this is not talking about salvation).

Others have already pointed out in this thread that friends will either help you become more like Christ - or they will pull you away from Him. As long as you can talk about Christ with them - openly - then you can be a strong influence. If you are forced to not talk about Christ with them - or about the things that have come to mean so much to you about the new life - then they are a stronger influence on you - and you have ceased to influence them.

The goal of the believer is simple: "But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, I press on, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark..." (Phil. 3:13, 14). Paul was focused on doing the will of God only. The "mark" here is like the Olympic gold medal - he desires to be the best for Christ and in the power of Christ. If something got in the way of that goal - he got rid of it. If it helped him get closer to Christ - he did it.

Hope this helps. God Bless.

[JesusIsLord82]

just lead by example. they'll get it sooner or later.

[yoyoyo]

Hey everyone. thanks for all the advice ya'll have been sending. Everything is pretty cool with my friends now. I believe that they thought that being religious was a phaswe i was going through and would end shortly. but since they seen that im pretty firm in it still, they don't really say much about it anymore. Its just one of those they accept what i believe and i accept what they believe and we just leave it that. Actually one of my friends have commented about how me usually saying when something bad happens that "its all for a reason. God knows what He is doing" that it helped him get through some things and now he tries to look at situations the same way. So my conclusion is just to lead by example (like JesusIsLord said) and i think they will get it sooner or later. thanks again guys

[HisLeast]

Your friends will quickly separate themselves from the "friendly when convenient" when you start trying to live righteously. Those who elect to make you feel bad about it, or eschew your friendship were NEVER your friends to begin with.

[yoyoyo]

Wow, that's really great that you got saved! Can you share more about what happened at this retreat which helped you?

My opinion on your friends is that, even if you never utter another word about being saved, they are going to have a hard time with your transition to a Christian life. I believe everyone unsaved can hear God calling them. Sometimes, that call is all but drowned out by living a decidedly secular life, being surrounded with non-Christian friends and ignoring any hint of Christ in the world, but having you there is forcing your friends to confront stuff they'd rather not have to deal with, like making a decision to follow Christ or not. Even if you aren't preaching at them, every time they look at you and see the change, they are confronted with the reality that they will need to make a choice too.

I think you should continue what you're doing. Don't drink if it makes you uncomfortable or if you feel it will damage your credibility as a Christian. Talk about your faith and beliefs in a friendly, welcoming, non-preachy way. If your friends are really your friends, they will come to accept this as part of your life. Maybe, some of them will decide to investigate more. If they can't cope with you being a Christian, then they are not looking for friends but for others to wallow in sin with them, because misery loves company. Find other people who can appreciate you as you are.

Hey whats up motorcyclesfly? Simply put, the retreat i went to was the best experience of my life. I went there because one of my friends invited me not knowing it was a christian retreat. I thought it was just a chill hang out and kick back for 3 days lol. When i finally got to the place and realized what it was all about, i wasnt angry but i was very sarcastic about the whole thing. Since there is no means of communication really allowed there, the first day it was just me, my roommate and my thoughts. im thankful for that first night because thats when i decided that i might as well be open to the experiece since i was there. Day 2 and 3 were basically waking up at 6 am and having a morning prayer, breakfast, testimonials, songs, arts and crafts, and a lot of fellowship with the other people who came to the retreat. I realized i was saved on Day 3 where there was a candle lighting ceremony that symbolized us being a light to the rest of the world. After that we had a prayer time and images of my family just kept coming to my mind. Tears started to flow uncontrollably for like 5 minutes. This was a huge deal to me because i NEVER cry. I felt like God was really getting in touch with me that night and i realized that everything happens because of him. I really needed that retreat because at the time my dad was battling cancer and i didnt know it then, but i really needed the support of knowing God to get through the next couple of months. Of course there was so much more that happened at the retreat, but i hate typing alot haha. thanks for asking tho bro.

[Christian Sweetie]

Hey whats up motorcyclesfly? Simply put, the retreat i went to was the best experience of my life. I went there because one of my friends invited me not knowing it was a christian retreat. I thought it was just a chill hang out and kick back for 3 days lol. When i finally got to the place and realized what it was all about, i wasnt angry but i was very sarcastic about the whole thing. Since there is no means of communication really allowed there, the first day it was just me, my roommate and my thoughts. im thankful for that first night because thats when i decided that i might as well be open to the experiece since i was there. Day 2 and 3 were basically waking up at 6 am and having a morning prayer, breakfast, testimonials, songs, arts and crafts, and a lot of fellowship with the other people who came to the retreat. I realized i was saved on Day 3 where there was a candle lighting ceremony that symbolized us being a light to the rest of the world. After that we had a prayer time and images of my family just kept coming to my mind. Tears started to flow uncontrollably for like 5 minutes. This was a huge deal to me because i NEVER cry. I felt like God was really getting in touch with me that night and i realized that everything happens because of him. I really needed that retreat because at the time my dad was battling cancer and i didnt know it then, but i really needed the support of knowing God to get through the next couple of months. Of course there was so much more that happened at the retreat, but i hate typing alot haha. thanks for asking tho bro.

:hug: That's a very beautiful testimony my friend. I'm so glad you were saved. It's funny how your attitude can change in such a short time eh? And I know exactly what you mean about the tears, I was overcome with emotion when I was saved too, which is HIGHLY unusual since I always keep my emotions in check.

[SnakeWesker]

I feel that if a friend doesn't agree with your faith, it is best not to push it too far. If you push it too far, they will never agree with you, and will always push it away just out of rebellion. But if you continue to have faith and show that God provides you with everything that you need, they just might come around. The decision is ultimately theirs, but you can definitely push them the right way by not pushing them. If that makes any sense.

I don't know too many people who don't agree with me faithwise, but I do know a lot of people who say they are Christian, but then act nothing like it. They say they are Christian but then go out and get drunk every night, are racist, and sleep around. And it drives me nuts. But I can't waver from what I know God wants me to do.

[prestonbrownie]

Most friends who mock you for having a faith are either:
a. Jealous of not having one
b. Have an opposing one

My best friend is an atheist, and I've learned to ignore the fact that he is. He will sometimes question/challenge the Bible and Christianity, but when he does, I just politely say "I'd prefer if we didn't talk about religion," or "I might not be able to answer that at the moment; let me get back to you." A true friend won't try to hurt you, and plus, if you're living the Christian life and loving people unconditionally, your friends should have NOTHING against you...you're doing things right, and you'll soon find out that they respect your morals and that they look up to you.

[Revinius]

But. How much do you have to hate someone to not tell them the gospel? It has to be done.