pray

[renthead188]

Pray for my deliverance. I've been grown a lot lately, but of course this means I'm also more and more tempted. I fell again to M today as has happened over the past few weeks. A month or two ago I put a lock on my computer and gave the password to a friend. It's helped but as you see I've still fallen.

Pray for my faith, I'm honestly scared right now. I know that we all stumble in many things, but I feel like I'm leading a double life and it's because of this.

[unkerns]

If your going to quit something you have to quit, this means a full change: no r-rated movies (any trashy movies), all pictures deleted or thrown away, no more lusting or flirting, etc. I struggled with porn from i believe k or 1st grade all the way to 2 years ago. All i have to say is that in order to quit you must actually quit

[renthead188]

If your going to quit something you have to quit, this means a full change: no r-rated movies (any trashy movies), all pictures deleted or thrown away, no more lusting or flirting, etc. I struggled with porn from i believe k or 1st grade all the way to 2 years ago. All i have to say is that in order to quit you must actually quit

I know. God broke those chains.

What happened today was different, I think I'm getting attacked. It happens when I'm sitting alone in a room counting money at work, images and thoughts start flooding my head, or today after a soccer game. Completely unstimulated desires and then i hear the ways in which i can act on them whispered in my ear. I just keep repeating 1 COR 10:13 to myself but today I still chose to wear my chains.

[tango]

Pray for my deliverance. I've been grown a lot lately, but of course this means I'm also more and more tempted. I fell again to M today as has happened over the past few weeks. A month or two ago I put a lock on my computer and gave the password to a friend. It's helped but as you see I've still fallen.

Pray for my faith, I'm honestly scared right now. I know that we all stumble in many things, but I feel like I'm leading a double life and it's because of this.

RH, I think the most important thing I can say to you right now is to remember just how much Jesus loves you. Yes, you've fallen - we all fall at times. What's important isn't how many times you fall but how many times you get back up again.

The devil would just love to convince you that you can't really be a Christian because you struggle so much with sin. Whether the sin in question is what you've described or some other sin doesn't matter, the devil wants you to give up the race. He wants you to figure that you're not good enough, that people would reject you and your faith "if only they knew", and that God couldn't possibly use someone like you for the Kingdom's work.

1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
1Pe 5:9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

Have you seen the documentaries where a lion chases its prey? When a lion chases a herd of herbivores it doesn't care which one it takes, it just wants one of them. It chases them this way and that, until a single one makes a mistake and runs away from the herd. Then the one is dinner. In the same way the devil tries to isolate us from our fellowship with other Christians and isolate us from God, at which point we are weaker and more vulnerable to believing his lies.

One big trouble with what you've described is that it's so easy for the temptation to come upon us when we least expect it, and so easy to find opportunities to yield to it. Trying to simply block thoughts out of your head is easier said than done - the trick is to find something to replace them. If you've got a favourite Bible verse to focus on, you can displace the unhealthy thoughts with something that will help you instead. I like the following:

Luk 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

2Ti 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


Remember God's offer of forgiveness. It's there for you, and Jesus is there just waiting for you to get up again, brush yourself off again, and resume your walk with him. Don't believe the devil's lies that you've blown it forever.

Jud 1:24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
Jud 1:25 To God our Savior, Who alone is wise, Be glory and majesty, Dominion and power, Both now and forever. Amen.

[renthead188]

RH, I think the most important thing I can say to you right now is to remember just how much Jesus loves you. Yes, you've fallen - we all fall at times. What's important isn't how many times you fall but how many times you get back up again.

The devil would just love to convince you that you can't really be a Christian because you struggle so much with sin. Whether the sin in question is what you've described or some other sin doesn't matter, the devil wants you to give up the race. He wants you to figure that you're not good enough, that people would reject you and your faith "if only they knew", and that God couldn't possibly use someone like you for the Kingdom's work.

1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
1Pe 5:9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

Have you seen the documentaries where a lion chases its prey? When a lion chases a herd of herbivores it doesn't care which one it takes, it just wants one of them. It chases them this way and that, until a single one makes a mistake and runs away from the herd. Then the one is dinner. In the same way the devil tries to isolate us from our fellowship with other Christians and isolate us from God, at which point we are weaker and more vulnerable to believing his lies.

One big trouble with what you've described is that it's so easy for the temptation to come upon us when we least expect it, and so easy to find opportunities to yield to it. Trying to simply block thoughts out of your head is easier said than done - the trick is to find something to replace them. If you've got a favourite Bible verse to focus on, you can displace the unhealthy thoughts with something that will help you instead. I like the following:

Luk 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

2Ti 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


Remember God's offer of forgiveness. It's there for you, and Jesus is there just waiting for you to get up again, brush yourself off again, and resume your walk with him. Don't believe the devil's lies that you've blown it forever.

Jud 1:24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
Jud 1:25 To God our Savior, Who alone is wise, Be glory and majesty, Dominion and power, Both now and forever. Amen.

After I wrote this last night I went to church. I almost didn't go. Whenever this happens I feel so disgusting, I feel like I shouldn't even be praising Him. I know this is the enemy though, so I force myself to go. I got there and I couldn't stand in the room with the congregation, I went into another room alone to pray. It was a tiny room. Somebody opened the door and asked me to move, I had been in front of a service elevator and a handicap man needed it.

I went into the sanctuary to sit down while everybody was singing and I began to pray when somebody tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to get up so that they could get by... I got up and realized that I need to stop listening to the condemning voice and just emrabce the fact that I am forgiven. I was annoyed with the guy for asking me to move so that he could sit, there were plenty of other chairs available and he could see that i was praying. God quickly told me that I need to forgive just as I am forgiven... including myself.

After the service one of our pastors asked me how I was and I just replied "I'm a battleground lately, but that means He's growing me - right?" He smiled and hugged me.

The devil flees when you resist him, but he comes back again when you drop your guard. I think that I was trying to wait him out rather than command him to leave, kind of like an antelope feigning death. I was definetely tempted to run away from the pack, but sheep get killed that way. Sorry to mix metaphors.

thank you

[tango]

You're absolutely right about the voice of the enemy there. That's part of the reason I like Luke 10:19:

Luk 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

We have the authority over the devil and all his minions, but only in the name of Jesus. In our own strength we can't hope to withstand his attacks. If he can convince us that we are not worthy to call on the name of Jesus he's half way to defeating us.


Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;

In a battle if you can persuade your adversary to lay down their sword before fighting them, they are much easier to defeat.

[HisLeast]

Hey Rent,

There are those of us here who know exactly what you're going through. As for myself, I had a 10 year long porn addiction that nearly destroyed my life (in the literal sense). If you're interested, we have a social group here called "The Vigil". Its all guys like you and me, who got ourselves stuck in this web.

Also, if you don't mind, I'm going to cut / paste something I posted in that section that you may find worth reading....

-------------------------------------

What I would encourage you to do is pay close attention to the root of the problem. Taking on the symptoms (porn) is well and good, but where does that energy go? Have you ever wondered why and how this temptation has the power to seemingly over-ride everything know to be right, and everything you want for yourself? Right now, guys like you and me will be VERY serious about keeping our focus on God, hating that sin, and putting our hands to other work. But somewhere, a week from now, a month from now... it overwhelms us, overwhelms even the intensity for wanting righteousness and freedom that we feel right now.

You must find what gives it that energy. There's a part of your mind that has reached (very inappropriately) for porn. Its like reaching for booze when you're thirsty. The thirst is a genuine need. The feeling of sustenance is genuinely good. The drunkenness that you get on the side... thats bad! So to it is with porn.

When you're contemplating this, also realize what's driving the temptation is not always sexual. Its a lifestyle of setting higher expectations than I can deliver. This puts me in a constant game of intense work and effort to deliver on promises. That builds an internal need to want to feel free, feel desired, and feel the ability to give value effortlessly. Just so happens porn was a quick (and tainted) means of experiencing those feelings. But we all know its corruption.

The KEY is, before I took time to ponder they why & how of the temptation, it was an endless cycle of honest to goodness guilt, unquenchable desire to do better, humble prayer and fasting, and then humiliating fall back into the sin. But once I made these discoveries... it was like the temptations had a 1/10 of their strength. I still desired to watch porn at times, but by then I was fighting a habit and not an overwhelming side of my nature that I did not understand.

[HisLeast]

(continued from previous post)

But how do you understand what's giving it that energy? Well, for me, I bit the bullet and sought professional psychiatric help. Not everyone has that kind of means, but I could have made the same progress without, with just enough guidance.

So here's what I did...
- Paid very careful attention (even documenting) my emotional state through the day/week/month, especially when I started getting desires to look at porn.
- Eschewed what I "wanted" to feel, and just paid attention to how I really honestly felt, right or wrong.
- On the hardest days, I asked one question over and over with one rule: What am I looking for? (Rule: answer must be given with no relation to sex)
- Paid VERY close attention to times when I wasn't feeling a pull to porn: How did I FEEL then? What was contributing to that feeling?

Its not an easy path. And to be honest, I can't begin to count how often I oversimplified the answer to avoid realizing hard truths about myself. Oh, and learn about yourself you will... and some of those things will surprise you. Some will shame you. Some will free you.

"Surely, if you do right, there is uplift. But if you do not do right, sin couches at the door; its urge is toward you, yet you can be its master" (Genesis 4:7).

[renthead188]

You're absolutely right about the voice of the enemy there. That's part of the reason I like Luke 10:19:

Luk 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

We have the authority over the devil and all his minions, but only in the name of Jesus. In our own strength we can't hope to withstand his attacks. If he can convince us that we are not worthy to call on the name of Jesus he's half way to defeating us.


Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;

In a battle if you can persuade your adversary to lay down their sword before fighting them, they are much easier to defeat.

That's something that God has been showing me lately, which I believe is why I've been tempted in so many areas lately. I feel like God is about to do something huge and the enemy doesn't like it one bit.

I just keep thinking "Wherever the Kingdom of God is, there is power." I think that it's a Scripture from Mark but I'm not sure. Either way I've been praying about the Gifts of the Holy Spirit lately. I've been talking with someone from a church that operates in them, which I've never seen before. At first I was bugging out hearing about it, but everything they do sounds perfectly Scriptual, right downs to the operation of tongues and all. This person mentions some sort of "Outpouring of the Holy Spirit" which I am praying about and comparing with Scripture. I can't help but feel that everything I've been going through lately is an attack on this. God can really grow me by opening me up to the power that comes with His Kingdom, the enemy must not like that very much.

I have learned to pray over the Ephesians Armor

Gird your waist with truth , Jesus is the truth.
Put on the breastplate of righteousness, not mine but HIS.
Shod your feet with the preperation of the Gospel of Peace, to bring the Gospel is the reason that God brings me anywhere.
Protect yourself with the shield of faith, even when we have doubts, He is true.
Wear the Helmet of Salvation, I will not be greatly moved. I am His.
Wield the Sword of the Spirit, The Word of God, the command of The Almighty Himself

As I said, if I trust Him at this time I believe that He will show me things that I've never seen before and use me in ways that I can't even imagine.

[unkerns]

The devil will try to attack you as much as possible, in fact the truth is that sometimes those images still pop up in my mind, and Ive spent so much prayer into making them go away and they never did, but Ive learned that im in control so I dont let the devil get much ground before I rebuke him, and take full control. Now when I get those images im not that attracted to them.

Most important: Idle time is the devils playground, the bible talks about if your a theif quit stealing, but use your hands for something good. Use the things you've used in this matter for something good

[baxpack7]

Hey there RH188
I think that something that could help you in your alone time(counting money, etc...) would be to get an MP3, I-Pod or some other music player. That way when the enemy comes up against you, you just cue up some of your favorite Christian tunes and sing them aloud and that will help chase away the devil. Singing praises, coupled with prayer will help strengthen you in your time of need.
May God bless you!