How to reach my dad.

[JesusMySavior]

Hey brothers and sisters, saints of the glorious Lord Jesus!

I have a big problem here. I've been dealing with this for awhile trying to approach every side but I'm coming up short it seems. I need some Godly advice and some prayers.

My dad apparently got saved when he was 16 or so, said he got down on his knees and prayed the sinners' prayer and got born again. You'd never be able to tell it now. He gets angry and cranky a lot, and he has no zeal or thirst for God. I doubt he ever reads his bible and he gets offended and uncomfortable when I talk about Jesus. At the same time he tells me not to preach to him because he "knows where he's going when he dies" and that he's genuinely saved. I personally don't believe it since the bible says that we must endure to the end to receive our crown of life. It is very possible to fall away (i did for a few years but the LORD restored this sinner, Hallelujah!) but many never return.

I've tried doing good things for my dad like helping him around the house, showing Christ's love to him, we'd even go out for supper sometimes and we'd get on the topic and i'd begin to talk to him. There's times where I see a real humility and he's listening and i seem to get through but many times there's a huge wall of pride that i can't seem to penetrate.

Other times he brings up the conversation about God and I think we really get the ball rolling but he stops before it gets too uncomfortable or biblical.

I finally got him to come to church a couple times (mainly to see me play with the worship team though) but he thinks it's all just about religion. He always talks religion like "are you a member of this church" and "i hope the pastor doesn't mind me being here since i'm not on the enrollment", etc. It's all garbage and I wish my dad could see that it's not about religion or any of that crap. It's about JESUS.

So any advice? I was convicted by God here just a moment ago that I should be praying for Him and that's the main thing.

Any advice would be great though. thank you in advance my dear siblings in Christ!

[Cloudwalker]

JesusMySavior, the first I would like to say don't give up. If your dad was saved at 16 then it has taken the rest of his life to get where he is today and so turning him back to Christ is not something that can be done overnight. Second, it is not something you can do at all. It will have to be a work of God. From what you have written I would say that you are doing the right thing.

First and foremost prayer is essential. Prayer, lots of prayer. Pray for him yourself. Get friends and any other family members that are Christians to pray. Get your Church to pray. Get the people here to pray. Bathe him in prayer. It is our fist, last, and strongest weapon in getting your dad back to Christ.

From what you have written it sounds like you are handeling the situation correctly. Let him see Christ working in your life. Talk to him about Christ and spiritual matters when he wants to talk but don't pressure him. (Pressure rarely works and usually ends up backfiring). If you are a member of a good Bible believing and teaching church get him to go any time he is willing, for whatever reason. Any brushes with the gospel that he has will be good.

Especially if your church and pastor are ones that emphasize reaching out to the lost (not that your father is lost) talk to your pastor about the situation. Churches that reach out to the lost especially understand (though any good Bible believing church will as well). Your fathers worry's about his welcome though he is not a member will be helped by a word from your pastor when he sees your dad. Just a "Glad to see you with us again," or something to that effect could help. I used to take voice lessons in a church that I was not a member of. The only concern they had was not anything to do with the expense of running the equipment or anything like that. There only question to me was "How can we minister to you." A good church will always be more interested in ministering to the people around them than anything else.
One reason your dad may change the subject fast is that talking about those things makes him uncomfortable that he isn't where he should be in his spiritual walk. He probably doesn't even realize that. That is the Holy Spirit working on him. Trying to break through the barriers that your dad has erected over time.

Keep up the good work. We will be praying for you. We have some very good people on this board and I am sure some of them will also be here to offer help. If you feel the need to talk in a more private setting feel free to start a thread in the Chat to the Moderators section, found here (http://bibleforums.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=84) or in the Chat to the Ministers section, found here. In both sections you will find Godly council and people that are anxious to help you out and minister to you.
God bless you. I will be praying. :pray:

Cloudwalker

[Mercy4Me]

Hi, JesusMySavior! I don't know that I've got much more to add...as I was reading your post, all the things that were coming to my mind were all the things Cloudwalker has already said. I would just add that, first of all, it is very difficult for a parent to be led by their child (no matter how old they are!)...it's a role reversal that just doesn't come easily, even more so for some parents. Don't take it personally...it's not you he's rejecting. My mother and my older sister both came to Christ late in life (my Mom was baptized at 72!), but it wasn't by MY leading. They both lived with us (they were in ill health), so they got to know our Christian friends, they went to church with us, and, eventually, God brought both of them to Himself before their deaths. I did not lead them directly to the Lord, I did not pray with them for salvation; others did, from whom they could receive the Word more readily. So don't be discouraged! You are planting seeds now, and as you and your father both grow older you may find him more ready to talk to you about it (when I was first converted at the age of 14, my mother would not listen to a thing I said about my faith) as long as you don't nag or pressure him. It sounds like you have a really good relationship with him! That's terrific!

In the meantime, as Cloudwalker says, don't give up hope...don't stop praying...don't stop loving him and showing it...be ready to talk with him when he's ready to talk with you. Blessings to you and to your dad, and I commend you for your desire to help him find his way back to the Lord!

[livingwaters]

:pray:ing with you that God put the Christian that your dad will listen in his path!!! Sometimes the ones we love the most, are they same ones who listen to us the least....go figure!!!!:hmm:

God Bless you and just keep on praying and bringing Christians around him as much as you can!!!

:)

[Cloudwalker]

Mercy, I remember some of the struggles you went through. Leading family to Christ can be difficult. It takes patience and prayer. JesusMySavior, I am still praying.

[DaniHansen]

The biggest mental block I had to overcome when beginning to deal with my family's salvation was realizing that God is more interested in their salvation than I am. And because of that, when we throw ourselves into the ring of battle over another's soul, the Holy Spirit will be right there, backing us up. But it does begin in prayer as you push through the walls around their soul and dismantle their mindsets and pave the way for Spirit to touch spirit so the King of Glory can come in.

It's a challenge for sure but once you enter it, God's way, you will soon find His support.

[Vhayes]

From reading your post and the way you say your dad responds to things, I would say he was hurt fairly badly by a church or at least a member of a church shortly after his conversion.

If i may make a suggestion, talk to your dad about Jesus, not church. Talk to him about the Holy Spirit and how He lives within believers.

I will be praying for both of you and know that our Father loves your dad and will bless you for caring so much about your dad's eternal destiny.

Blessings to you -
V

[SFASH]

I could never hope to add to such fine advice as you have seen on this thread, JesusMySavior, but I would also encourage you to persevere.

I had the astounding pleasure to be reasonably assured of my Step-Dad's salvation when he passed away.

And that was after some very turbulent years and a heart that was hardened against the gospel and even against the Lord. It was amazing to watch the Lord orchestrate his life in such a way that doors were opened and opportunities presented themselves.

Will lift you and your father up before the Lord.