Empty nest syndrone!

[JaneA]

I''m 48 and my daughter who is 23 moved out recently. My daughter who is 28 moved out today. My other 23 year old lives 3 hours away with my only grandson, Oliver, who I only get to see about every 2 months.Oliver is 10 months old and so cute. I feel like I'm missing out on so much with him. My son who is 26 is the only one still at home. Of course, my husband who is a great guy but I really miss a full house. I guess I'll adjust but its hard. Has anyone been through this have any suggestions? Also, I have several degrees but still can't find employment so I'm kind of lonely and bored!:(

[karenoka27]

Hi and welcome to the board.

I just turned 49 in October. I have three children. I live in Rhode Island.

My oldest is married and lives in Indiana with her husband and my two grandchildren.

My middle child married a year ago this past August. They live in Florida.

My baby, my son is in Bible College in Iowa. He works summer jobs in ministry so he isn't coming home anymore for long periods of time.

:cry:

Actually, I'm ok. I talk to my kids a lot. I am still in the process of "finding myself" I guess you could say. All I've ever known is how to be a mother.
I never had the privilege of going to college, so I don't know where to start.

I go out at least once a week with friends. I go to church usually twice on Sunday and Wednesday evening so I keep busy in that.

My house was always full! I never knew who was sleeping over from one weekend to the next. Now it's quiet. But I am learning to enjoy the quiet.

This Christmas they are "all" coming home! There will be 10-11 people in the home for a week. I will love every second of it!

[Mercy4Me]

Hi, Jane! I'd also like to welcome you to the board, and send a hug your way! :hug::hug:

Well, I have five children, three of whom are still at home...but my house also feels empty these days! My oldest lives 1 1/2 hours away with my five grandbabies, and my second lives several states away with his new wife. While I am not going through empty nest syndrome yet, I am planning to someday. :rolleyes: We also went from a very busy household to a (relatively) quiet one...so I know a little of what you're going through.

Just a few suggestions come to mind...

Do you have any hobbies you've always wanted to start but never had the time for? Now might be a good time!

How about volunteer work until you find a job? Lots of places--libraries, hospitals, nursing homes--love volunteers, and the work can be so rewarding!

How about getting involved with a ministry of some kind? Either on your own, or with someone else?

A home business?

Some good books? War and Peace comes to mind! :)

More schooling? If not formally, how about learning some new skill you've never had a chance to study before, like art or music?

Just some thoughts...can you tell I've thought about it, too? I truly have...every time one of them leaves home, it hits me that someday it will be VERY quiet. I hope, like Karen, that I'll learn to love the quiet, too!

Blessings to you during this transition time...I'm glad you've found the boards! Maybe we'll be able to help ease up the boredom and loneliness! :hug:

[Lady Ashanti]

I''m 48 and my daughter who is 23 moved out recently. My daughter who is 28 moved out today. My other 23 year old lives 3 hours away with my only grandson, Oliver, who I only get to see about every 2 months.Oliver is 10 months old and so cute. I feel like I'm missing out on so much with him. My son who is 26 is the only one still at home. Of course, my husband who is a great guy but I really miss a full house. I guess I'll adjust but its hard. Has anyone been through this have any suggestions? Also, I have several degrees but still can't find employment so I'm kind of lonely and bored!:(

Sis...I am 53 years old with 4 children, [34, 28, 27, and 26 years old]. I have not gone through the "empty nest syndrome" since they have been adults because of the "ENS" I went through when my sons were in their early teens.

My daughter is the oldest, and had left home, married, leaving my sons as the younger ones still at home. I saw her, hubby, and my first grandson everyday, [and at times her hubby would drop them off at my home overnight because he worked nights]. However one year we ended living in different states...

Because of a situation, I had to send my sons to stay with my brother for the summer. After they left, I went through some serious emotional challenges, I could understand what was going on with me. I called my brother crying, and he reassured me that he would take excellent care of them, [I knew that however...]. Then I realized something...

This was my first time being alone...I was divorced for some time, and now this was the first time I was without all of my children and I was panicking... Don't get me wrong, my children lived very balanced lives, and were involved in many things, but they had never been out of the state, or spent more than a weekend away, [and if my sons were away, my daughter was there, and vice versa]. I realized I was going through an early "ENS", and I thanked God for it because it was a real wake up call.

Of course I got myself together, however that was an eye opener so when they returned, I began to "let them go" a little at a time so that when they all were gone, I was not traumized...LOL!!!

Sis...think of this as a time for you to do some of the things you couldn't do because of the sacrifices made for your children. A time to spend more time with your hubby, be romantic, go on local mini vacations together, do volunteer work or ministry if you are not employed...etc...

This is not the end, just a new beginning...enjoy!!!:pp

[paidforinfull]

I''m 48 and my daughter who is 23 moved out recently. My daughter who is 28 moved out today. My other 23 year old lives 3 hours away with my only grandson, Oliver, who I only get to see about every 2 months.Oliver is 10 months old and so cute. I feel like I'm missing out on so much with him. My son who is 26 is the only one still at home. Of course, my husband who is a great guy but I really miss a full house. I guess I'll adjust but its hard. Has anyone been through this have any suggestions? Also, I have several degrees but still can't find employment so I'm kind of lonely and bored!:(

Hi JaneA - first of all, welcome to the board :)

Oh my, can I relate! I only have one daughter, and about 9 years ago she, my son-in-law and my two grandsons left to live and work in another country.
My daughter and I are very close - best of friends now that she is an adult - and I miss them all soooooooooo very very much. Fortunately God has made a way for us to see them at least once or twice a year, and my daughter and I have regular long chats over the phone. Now that my grandsons are older I am able to chat with them over the internet as well (and this is a blessing in disguise since my youngest grandson is autistic, and it is much easier to communicate with him this way.)

In the beginning it was so hard that I became physically ill and went into a depression. Fortunately for us we left to go and live and teach in Taiwan for five years, and It turned out that this was a very good thing indeed.

After a while I realised that my life wasn't 'over' now that we were 'empty nesters' - only that we have entered into the next stage of our lives. I have since learned that it is actually really wonderful to be young enough to still enjoy life, work for the Lord and do and see exciting things.

The best advice I could give anyone in a similar situation is to accept that being and 'empty nester' is just another stage in life (very natural); that it can and should be very fulfilling, and that one should look at the positive things within the situation.

In your case the positive things seem to be the fact that you do at least get to see your grandson at least every two months or so; that you still have a son living at home; that you have a wonderful and obviously supportive husband, and that you are still young enough to 'start over again', so to speak.

The other ladies who replied to your post have given you some excellent ideas of things you could do. Also: don't give up looking for a job. God is in this situation with you, and He will provide everything you need to live a fulfilling life.

God bless :hug: