i dont know what to do

[reformedct]

lately my parents have been arguing like children over dumb things. They both know about the Bible and have been in church for years but I dont even know if both are saved based upon how they act. I am the oldest child, 21 year old male, and occasionally have to step in for them to break it up when they start yelling just to make sure nothing happens that we wil all regret. Besides pray, what should i do? i feel helpless because only God can change them, and i am not in authority over them. It seems even if I say what the Bible says they can sometimes just blow it off and still argue. I just feel like giving up and letting them go down their path of rebellion at times. It seems so pointless to even try to make things better. They do not listen and they have been doing this for over a year.

[karenoka27]

You need to continue to pray. There may be issues that you don't know about,they are in need of working out. It is not your responsibility.
I too am the oldest in my family. I felt the same way as you do now. My parent's were furious with me for getting in the middle. I didn't know about some of the things my father was doing, so I was only adding to the mess.

Praying for you.:hug:

[Brother Mark]

lately my parents have been arguing like children over dumb things. They both know about the Bible and have been in church for years but I dont even know if both are saved based upon how they act. I am the oldest child, 21 year old male, and occasionally have to step in for them to break it up when they start yelling just to make sure nothing happens that we wil all regret. Besides pray, what should i do? i feel helpless because only God can change them, and i am not in authority over them. It seems even if I say what the Bible says they can sometimes just blow it off and still argue. I just feel like giving up and letting them go down their path of rebellion at times. It seems so pointless to even try to make things better. They do not listen and they have been doing this for over a year.

Hi reformedct. Here are some scriptures that I love!

Ezek 22:29-30
29 "The people of the land have practiced oppression and committed robbery, and they have wronged the poor and needy and have oppressed the sojourner without justice. 30 "And I searched for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.
NASB

God wanted to show mercy but found no one to stand in the gap and pray for those that he wished to have mercy upon.

Here's an example where one did stand in the gap.

Ex 32:10-14
10 "Now then let Me alone, that My anger may burn against them, and that I may destroy them; and I will make of you a great nation." 11 Then Moses entreated the Lord his God, and said, "O Lord, why doth Thine anger burn against Thy people whom Thou hast brought out from the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? 12 "Why should the Egyptians speak, saying, 'With evil intent He brought them out to kill them in the mountains and to destroy them from the face of the earth'? Turn from Thy burning anger and change Thy mind about doing harm to Thy people. 13 Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, Thy servants to whom Thou didst swear by Thyself, and didst say to them, 'I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heavens, and all this land of which I have spoken I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.'" 14 So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people.
NASB

You are not helpless! For you can pray to God for your parents. I think he is looking for someone to stand in the gap for them. Here is another passage that I love.

2 Chron 16:9

9 For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
KJV

in another version it says this...

2 Chron 16:8-9
9 For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
NIV

He desires to show himself strong in your behalf. Pray for your folks and watch the Lord move. I prayed for my brother for many years and he was recently saved!!!! Praise be to God that he did what the rest of us could not do. Pray for them now and maybe God will move swiftly. Maybe he will move slowly. But he will move.

Grace and peace,

Mark

[superwoman8977]

Okay and heres the thing. Just because they fight doesnt mean they arent Christian. My now exhusband and I used to fight all the time before we divorced yet I was still a Christian. You dont know the reasons they are fighting. My advice is to pray for him just like my parents prayed for me and my marriage and in the end yes we ended in divorce but I have a closer relationship with the Lord than I have ever had before.

[sunsetssplendor]

lately my parents have been arguing like children over dumb things. They both know about the Bible and have been in church for years but I dont even know if both are saved based upon how they act. I am the oldest child, 21 year old male, and occasionally have to step in for them to break it up when they start yelling just to make sure nothing happens that we wil all regret. Besides pray, what should i do? i feel helpless because only God can change them, and i am not in authority over them. It seems even if I say what the Bible says they can sometimes just blow it off and still argue. I just feel like giving up and letting them go down their path of rebellion at times. It seems so pointless to even try to make things better. They do not listen and they have been doing this for over a year.


Continue praying. We all know the devil seeks to destroy and kill. Pray throughout the house when no one is there but you and cast out anything that is against the word of God. You're a good son to be so concerned. Stick in there. We fight not against this world but principalities.

[cnw]

If you were my kid maybe I would want you to come to me privately when things are cooled down. talk about what you see and how you feel. go to both parents privately. Tell them what you told us. They don't act like Christians. If they say "you don't understand" then ask if they can get help outside.
I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes we parents have no idea what we drag our children through.

[monergist]

reformedct,

Satan loves to hurt families. My parents divorced when I was 32 years old, but they had been having difficulty for many years.

The thing that I've found is, the tool that Satan loves to use is trying to get husbands and wives to forget that they are 1 person. There is no husband apart from the wife. If Satan can get either to start thinking about him/herself, and not concentrating on the family as a whole, he can pry them apart. I don't know if that's what's going on in your situation, but you may want to see if that's the problem. If it is, then part of your ministry to your parents should focus on showing them that they are one person united in Christ. There is no "I" in a marriage, only a we, or us.

Also, remember that you are not responsible for what happens ultimately. Prayer is so important in this situation. Pray that God use you to bring your parents together, that God work in their hearts so that they see their sin in this type of behavior, and that your parents put Jesus at the center of their marriage.

Praying for you friend.

[ServantofTruth]

lately my parents have been arguing like children over dumb things. They both know about the Bible and have been in church for years but I dont even know if both are saved based upon how they act. I am the oldest child, 21 year old male, and occasionally have to step in for them to break it up when they start yelling just to make sure nothing happens that we wil all regret. Besides pray, what should i do? i feel helpless because only God can change them, and i am not in authority over them. It seems even if I say what the Bible says they can sometimes just blow it off and still argue. I just feel like giving up and letting them go down their path of rebellion at times. It seems so pointless to even try to make things better. They do not listen and they have been doing this for over a year.

Firstly you can try to act correctly, in a biblical Christian way, at all times and not allow yourself to be pulled into behaviour you know our Lord would not approve of. I'm sure you are already trying to do this. :)

Secondly I'd recommend talking to each parent seperately, when things are calm and the other one is not around. But also don't run the other parent down and make clear whatever you say to one will also be said equally to the other.

Thirdly, how can you releave their daily burden, in a practical way? Doing chores, looking after/ taking out brothers and sisters. Making the home and everyone in it, happier generally. Leading by example. Prayer is excellent, but back it up with practical examples of your faith & love.

Lastly, they are not expressing love to eachother or their children by yelling at each other. This is not to doubt their salvation, perhaps just a little suggest of 'growth needed?' They are behaving like children needing milk, rather than mature adult believers needing solid food.

Be gentle, be kind, show love in the face of negative comments. They are struggling in their faith or this situation would not have arisen. They desperately need the Word of God/ the bible daily in their lives, and to ask the Spirit of God within to destroy their pride and ego and give them strength of the only type we all need - in Jesus name.

There is only one way forward for them, together in the name of Jesus Christ. Love SofTy.

[shepherdsword]

You know ,I have a bit of a temper myself. I am just wired that way( not a justification) but the Lord is dealing with me on this issue. I know that when I am in the midst of one of my volcanic eruptions I am not very receptive to correction. However, after my fury is spent I am approachable. Something that has helped me deal with a large portion of my anger is understanding how it displease the Lord and affects other people. There were times when I would be so angry that I would just fill the room with bad vibes. I didn't have to say a word. A situation like that causes others to walk on their tiptoes and actually fear you. That is totally humiliating for a Christian( I know it is for me)
Maybe if you let your parents see how it affects their testimony and their children they would be civil with each other and have a rational discussion.
At least when there were others present.