My eye is like a poached egg

[Fenris]

It runs when poked.

[Bethany67]

:::groan :::

That's a Dad-joke if I ever heard one ;)

[tango]

It runs when poked.

Oh dear....

Happy 2009 to you and yours Fenris :rofl:

[MercyChild]

It runs when poked....lol:rofl:

I am afraid that I have the very same problem..........lol:rofl:

[Vhayes]

Tee-hee :rofl:

Did you hear about the man who had his arm mangled in an upholstery machine? It's ok - he's "recovered" now.

[tango]

What's the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?

[Vhayes]

What's the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?
I don't know - what IS the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?

[tango]

I don't know - what IS the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?

Well one is big and grey and wrinkly, the other is small and white and smooth...

Remind me not to come to you next time I've got a headache :rofl:

[Bethany67]

Why does the actor Edward Woodward have 4 Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be Ewar Woowar.

(It's funnier if you say it out loud. Honest.)

[Fenris]

:::groan :::

That's a Dad-joke if I ever heard one ;)
I woke up in a weird mood. Anyway, it's better than the knock-knock jokes my twins repeat all day...:lol:

[threebigrocks]

Well one is big and grey and wrinkly, the other is small and white and smooth...

Remind me not to come to you next time I've got a headache :rofl:

:rofl:

We'll just make sure that we get you a really big glass of water, to cover our bases! :D

[DaniHansen]

You guys ...

*groan*


:lol::lol::lol:

[karenoka27]

Have you ever heard the story about the skunk?

Never mind...it stinks.:rolleyes:

[turtledove]

Have you ever heard the story about the skunk?

Never mind...it stinks.:rolleyes:

No, but I heard the one about the boy who dug up a buried, dead squirrel..it stinks too! ;)

[karenoka27]

Thank you for making mine sound better...:rofl:


Question
What gets wetter the more it dries?




















Answer
A towel.

[turtledove]

Learned this one in grade school, I think...:lol: So excuse if you parents have heard it before. ;)

What is black and white and red all over? >>>>>>>>>>>>>














answer..a newspaper :monkeyd:(I really can spell read) :D

[tayariswife]

Why did the watermelon and honey dew melon get married?
/
/
/
/
/

/

/
/
/

/
/
/
/
Because they cantelope! (can't elope) get it?!?!?!?!?!:rofl:

[turtledove]

So they could make a fruit salad? :rofl:

[Midyrvette]

What has four wheels and flies........

(scroll down for answer)

































A garbage truck....

[Fenris]

When I last posted in this thread it was a baby. But now it just turned two! (pages, that is)

[Gulah Papyrus]

Well one is big and grey and wrinkly, the other is small and white and smooth...

Remind me not to come to you next time I've got a headache :rofl:Speaking of elephants, what do you get when you cross an elephat and a rhinoceros?















Elephino!:dunno:

[DaniHansen]

How do you know an elephant has been in your fridge?













There's footprints across the cheese cake.

[HisLeast]

What does a Canadian say when you stomp on his foot?





"Sorry"

[HisLeast]

A Canadian, a Brit, and an American walk into a bar.

The Brit orders a Guiness, but before he can take a sip, a fly lands on the side of the pint glass. He pushes the glass away with disdain and orders another.

The American orders a bottle of Bud, but before he can take a sip, a fly lands on the side of the bottle. He waves the fly away and takes a swig.

The Canadian orders a Molson Canadian, but before he can take a sip, a fly lands on the side of the bottle. Quick as a wink he's grabbed the fly by the wings. Holding the fly over the glass and poinding his fist against the fly's body he screams frantically "Spit it out! SPIT IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!"

[HisLeast]

What did Adam and Eve do when they were kicked out of the garden?

Raised Cain.

[HisLeast]

How many REAL MEN does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

[HisLeast]

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g240/nybeswordfish/dunkin1sg.jpg

[HisLeast]

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn around before it's too late!"

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?”

[faroutinmt]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on him!



How do you catch a tame rabbit?

The tame way!

[Midyrvette]

:rofl:When is a door not a door?:D











When its ajar:bounce::lol:

[Midyrvette]

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
















200 soles were lost:rofl::bounce:

[DaniHansen]

Owie.

Seriously.

:)

[HisLeast]

What happened when the Amish woman married the Menonite man?



She drove him buggy.

[HisLeast]

http://brokenphone.net/eec/images/uploads/bill-stickers.jpg

[HisLeast]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/funny-graphs-hokey-pokey-flow-chart.gif

[tt1106]

My two favorites,
Thanks Gabby (My 9 Year Old)



Q.What do you call a Pig with Laryngitis?



A: Disgruntled.

Q: How do pigs get to the hospital?







A: In a Hambulance.



Ps. Subscribing. :)

[HisLeast]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/song-chart-memes-contents-of-a-teenage-girls-ipod.gif

[dljc]

The Army does more before 9:00 am than most people do all day.



















:idea: Incentive to sleep in, so you don't get in their way. :lol:

[HisLeast]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/political.gif

[Ta-An]

It runs when poked.
Uhmmmm and where did it run too??:hmm:

Oh wait,,,,, it has something to do with the symbology of the alephbeit.... :grin:

[Gulah Papyrus]

Why should you always walk a mile in someone's shoes before you judge or criticize them?








That way, when you do judge them and criticize them, you'll be a mile away...and you'll have their shoes!

[Gulah Papyrus]

What's invisible and smells like carrots?




















Bunny farts.;)

[HisLeast]

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/12/8/128732255836249218.png