Marriage Seperation

[sherwood1969]

Hey guys, I posted something under the counseling board about my marriage. I am needing some advice from someone who has gone through anything similar to what I am going through now.

Here is the link (http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthread.php?p=1940682#post1940682)

Also some of my friends are starting a men's ministry group in the Mt. Juliet, Tennessee area. First meeting this Thursday Night at 7pm. Anyone is welcome to come.

Other than that I look forward to making as many Christian Male contacts as I can while I go through this long lonely road ahead of me.

[Walstib]

Brother,

I can't say I have been through something like this in a marriage. Though I did have a tendency to go after damaged woman in my past and dated a number of them.

I identify with the post ddmor wrote there. I had one who when she was breaking up with me asked me "why did you never tell me to **** off". One woman would push me and push me trying to get me to verbally fight with her, talking with her now, as she has healed in many ways, we can look back. She admits she had seen the lack of violence as a weakness, but now understands the strength it took to not retaliate.

I think many of these woman have a twisted view of the violence in a strong man, thinking it should be worldly instead of spiritual. Violence against people seems normal rather than understanding a violent struggle against the flesh and the devil is much stronger and manly.

More than all that I understand beating yourself up. When I was first searching for meaning in life it was my battle against beating myself up where I saw I needed something more than I had to be victorious. Thank God that He has given us the means to win the battle in our thought lives. I think it is safe to say most condemning thoughts would not be the "real you" but attacks to rebuke from the flesh. As hard as it may sound thanking God for this opportunity to learn of yourself I think would go far in this battle.

May God grant you His peace in your heart,
Joe

[sherwood1969]

Thanks for your post.

I have been doing some self examination about the looking for damaged women as you put it. I do know that knowing her past was something that drew me to her. Not to say that I wanted to "fix" her but thinking that wouldn't someone like this really appreciate the love that I am able to give. More insight on this, my issue, would be helpful as well.

I know and I understand the principles of depending on God's love alone but I guess something inside of me right or wrong still has a great desire for a mate that loves me too. I know that she said that she did love me at the beginning but my fear is that she never had or has yet to really understand what love is. She claims that her first husband loved her even with the things he did. I tried to explain that I did not believe that was love or maybe I said how could that be love. I just know her case...and my own...is not in my hands and never should have been.

I have a lot to learn about my side of the road in this relationship but I can do nothing about our marriage until she finds healing from her past. I also have to deal with some things in my life as do we all. I have to focus on my walk with God and allow Him to lead her as well. I have to trust Him but I also know that the devil is a powerful force and he is so good at confusing ones mind. I pray everyday almost all day for protection over my wife....who if I have not stated enough....that I love and I love and I love.

J.

[Buck shot]

I have to focus on my walk with God and allow Him to lead her as well. I have to trust Him but I also know that the devil is a powerful force and he is so good at confusing ones mind. I pray everyday almost all day for protection over my wife....who if I have not stated enough....that I love and I love and I love.

J.

Sounds like a lot of wisdom there. I have not been down the same road you are on but I want ya to know i'm prayin for ya'll :pray:

My wife and i almost divorced 15 years ago because we were going differant ways and neither was toward God. He reminded us both that He is supposed to be our focus and now we are truly one flesh serving Him :)

Trust and follow God, if healing can come, it will be Him who does it!

[sherwood1969]

My wife and I had some very positive text messaging conversations the past 2 days. She is still following after God and we know He will never leave her. I still know that there is a long road of faith ahead for me but I do know who my faith and hope are in.

My job isn't to be the husband right now. That is not what she needs but I do feel it is my Great responsibility to pray down all the angels God can spare to set up a circle of protection around her apartment.

I still have a fear about myself that and I know is my struggle. I was praying and crying this morning and God just spoke to me through His word that is in my heart.

Exodus 14:15-16 (NIV)
15 Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.

You see God told me this morning that tears that come from my sadness to not have my wife near me are not all that bad; they remind me how much I lover her but my tears that come through my fear for her protection are not good at all. He told me this morning to stretch out my Staff of Faith over this situation and know that the I AM is with her.


Anyone that prays, please pray and I will keep updates coming. This again is the beginning of a long road but His rod and His staff comfort me as well. And He is revealing so many errors in my heart about how I view relationships even my marriage.


Thanks Guys,
J.

[Buck shot]

You are right, very few roads that we travel are short. The things that God teaches us are what make them worth it though!

:pray: for your wife's safety and your growth :pray: