Desperate

[Shesh]

I have been a Christian for almost four years now but early 2007,i started engaging in sexual sin with my boyfriend.I got pregnant and that relationship ended.God got me through by His grace.Recently,just as i had thought things were getting better,i had sex with a guy i barely knew.I am so ashamed and i do not know what is wrong with me.Some preachers say that people who do these things are not really Christians but i really yearn to obey.I dont know what gets over me.Please help!

[crystalbrite]

I have been a Christian for almost four years now but early 2007,i started engaging in sexual sin with my boyfriend.I got pregnant and that relationship ended.God got me through by His grace.Recently,just as i had thought things were getting better,i had sex with a guy i barely knew.I am so ashamed and i do not know what is wrong with me.Some preachers say that people who do these things are not really Christians but i really yearn to obey.I dont know what gets over me.Please help!

If you are yearning to be obedient, then you will eventually. Our walk with the Lord is progressive. Don't expect that you will change over night. Just be aware of your sins, seek forgiveness, and decide not to do it again. Think of yoursef like a baby learning to walk and God is your Father Who is teaching you. You may fall down twenty times, but I assure you, as long as you keep seeking the Lord, He is always faithful to set you upon your feet each time. You'll be fine as long as you keep your focus on Jesus.

[Oma]

It might be a good idea to find relief for your temptations in the God appointed way as stated in the Scripture.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband1 Cor 7:2 (KJV)

[Followtheway]

The reason that a pastor says that is because it no longer becomes real repentance, what you've been doing is focusing on just not having sex. Take that energy else where, volunteer at a pregnancy center ditch the sleazy guys and live your life for the Lord only. Most of all stop putting yourself in situation where you are going to fall

[Gregg]

Sex like many other addictions/sins starts out feeling good or with a purpose, but oh those consequences. Sex is so powerful that the Bible is full of stories of how we have abused it. For me the worst part is it did not fill the hole that was inside of me, it always left me wanting more. I became lonely and thought that sex could fix it. It could not. In fact it hardened my heart and almost cost me the ability to love. It took God to fix it and he did. I pray he does the same for you. Sex with out commitment and love is taking or using. Sex with love and commitment is giving.

On a side note are you on any meds. Was drinking involved in the last situation? Alcohol by itself can cloud our judgement, but mixed with some meds actually has a side effect of promiscuity. Now that doesn't excuse us, but it sure doesn't help either.

[DaniHansen]

Well honey, do you equate sex with love? Do you think a physical relationship with a man has anything to do with whether or not you're loved, and acceptable, and all these other things we look for when we engage in relations with others?

Most guys, by the way, view sex as strictly physical. They don't ascribe it the emotional value that women place in it. Just FYI.

[Gregg]

Most guys, by the way, view sex as strictly physical. They don't ascribe it the emotional value that women place in it. Just FYI.

That would be true of the sinful worldly view and hardening of the heart that I was speaking of. There are a lot of men that hide their fear of emotional abandonment or emotional hurt behind "just the physical." Being blind to the emotional and psychological aspects of sex is the part that needs supernatural healing. I think it is the part that gets damaged with premarital sex.

[wtj]

there is no marriage ceremony in the written scriptures - neither were the churches given the authority to marry - but as it is written - whom god has joined together - study the leading in the marriages of god in scripture. seek am intimate relationship with him where you are able to know his leading concerning marriage. if you have sinned then confess that sin to him and he will forgive you that sin and remember it no more. guilt hinders the walk in christ. confession makes one free in christ - but sin no more - fare ye well - wtj

[Followtheway]

The hebrews during that time considered marriage when the 2 had sex, because that was the physical practice of 2 becoming one, so in many ways you would already be considered married to the first man, but in our society we of course dont live by those standards.

[Shesh]

No,i was not intoxicated.It was just plain old folly.I thought i could be friends with a guy who had made it clear that he wanted to have sex with me.Now i know how wrong i was.

[Shesh]

there is no marriage ceremony in the written scriptures - neither were the churches given the authority to marry - but as it is written - whom god has joined together - study the leading in the marriages of god in scripture. seek am intimate relationship with him where you are able to know his leading concerning marriage. if you have sinned then confess that sin to him and he will forgive you that sin and remember it no more. guilt hinders the walk in christ. confession makes one free in christ - but sin no more - fare ye well - wtj
Thanks.The worst is that i actually thought i was past all this after the first.God is truly gracious.I guess the greatest battle is to stop condemning myself.

[Fresco]

Shesh, dont be burden with guilt, its counter-productive.
IMO sex isnt the worst sin one can commit.

King Solomon had something like 300 concubines, in addition to hundreds of wives. You dont think some hanky-panky was going on in his palaces??? And yet God never condemned it

Also Gideon had a concubine along with his multiple wives
Read Judges 8:31
Judges 8:31
He also had a concubine in Shechem, who gave birth to a son, whom he named Abimelech. Also the Bible never directly says: "Thou shalt not have pre-marital sex".

[Shesh]

The hebrews during that time considered marriage when the 2 had sex, because that was the physical practice of 2 becoming one, so in many ways you would already be considered married to the first man, but in our society we of course dont live by those standards.
Am i bound to marry the first guy for my baby's sake?He has not committed his life to Christ.

[Shesh]

Well honey, do you equate sex with love? Do you think a physical relationship with a man has anything to do with whether or not you're loved, and acceptable, and all these other things we look for when we engage in relations with others?

Most guys, by the way, view sex as strictly physical. They don't ascribe it the emotional value that women place in it. Just FYI.
A part of me knows that but i guess i still measure my value according to how much others like me.How should i go about seeing myself the way God sees me?

[Nanoson]

A part of me knows that but i guess i still measure my value according to how much others like me.How should i go about seeing myself the way God sees me?

by looking up scriptures that tell you how God loves you and finding out what God wants you to do within yourself before you find companionship with another. and when you do, make it a person that you can be a spiritual influence on and vice verse.

[Followtheway]

I would say that at this time it would be much smarter to take all focus off of men and put them all onto the Lord and when he is ready than you can consider finding a husband( and not bf). Remember it takes 2 whole people to make one whole relationship.

[wtj]

Concerning the man whom is the father of your child – god gave the spirit to it. – god does not partake of sin

Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it. Eccl. 12:7

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. Ex. 22:16

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 1Cor. 7:13

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 1Cor. 7:14

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1Cor. 7:15

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 1Cor. 7:16

[Shesh]

I love you all. Thank you and God bless.