Little known book of the bible

[Fenris]

The Book of Armaments. We only have a few short verses from it.
Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9-21)


“ ...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu...

... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

[grit]

"Den Joshuaz peepol wuz rill meen. Tehy kilt evrbuddeh. Srsly. Min or wimin: dunt matr. beybehz or seenyorz: no matr. oxez/sheepz/donkeez: say "oh hai!" 2 soard. An Joshua sayed "reemembr, dunt kil dat harlut, srsly." So tehy dint. But tehy did sit teh citeh on fier an wuz liek BURNZ BIG FIER BURNZ HOT HOT HOT!!! But dunt wurry, tehy gotz teh cheezburgerz owt f1rzt!!!1!"
-Joshua 6:21-24, lolcatbible

[Fenris]

Bwahahahahahaaaa :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Theophilus]

One of my co-workers is a real MP fan...so I got into my old G.I. Joe stuff, and found a miniature hand grenade. I had a small tin box, and proceeded to mark it a la G.I. terminology: Grenade/hand type/holy, etc.

He's got it on his bookcase.

[tango]

Interesting idea... I used to have the Spam Song as my mobile phone ringtone, and when I got a text message the Knights Who Say Ni would demand "A shrubbery" complete with their dramatic chord.

[HisLeast]

NI!
(15 characters)

[Fenris]

'Tis but a flesh wound!

[Jollyrogers]

THis book??:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=Book%20of%20Armaments&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv

[tt1106]

It's the Killer Rabbit! It's just a bunny.

[baxpack7]

....how about this one....

"Can we have your liver?"
"Yes, but I'm usin' it"


"What's this?"
"A liver donors card."
"Need we say more?!"

[tango]

Morning
Morning
Morning
Morning

Look chaps, Henry's being eaten!

[Jollyrogers]

Can we go any furthur without this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

[Fenris]

Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowls unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And...

"That's... that's enough music for now lads,
*** there's dirty work afoot*** ???."
------------------------------------------------
Brave Sir Robin ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn't!")
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("no!")
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
("I didn't!")
And gallantly he chickened out.

****Bravely**** taking ("I never did!") to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
("all lies!")
Bravest of the braaaave, Sir Robin!
("I never!")

[Jollyrogers]

"Go and change you Armor"

[DaniHansen]

Ahahahahaha.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Fenris]

Now go away- or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time!

[DaniHansen]

Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!

[Fenris]

Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!Keep running!!!!!!!!!!!

[apothanein kerdos]

"Den Joshuaz peepol wuz rill meen. Tehy kilt evrbuddeh. Srsly. Min or wimin: dunt matr. beybehz or seenyorz: no matr. oxez/sheepz/donkeez: say "oh hai!" 2 soard. An Joshua sayed "reemembr, dunt kil dat harlut, srsly." So tehy dint. But tehy did sit teh citeh on fier an wuz liek BURNZ BIG FIER BURNZ HOT HOT HOT!!! But dunt wurry, tehy gotz teh cheezburgerz owt f1rzt!!!1!"
-Joshua 6:21-24, lolcatbible

t3h l4awlz!!!!11!!!1oneone!111

[th1bill]

... If thou keepist that up I'll tell the lass in the red blouse, seated in the lime chariot and she'll stompest thou toe with her yellow cowboy boot.

[pekoe]

you people are insane and i'm kinda liken it

[amazzin]

Not too sure who I should report first !!!!!!

[HisLeast]

Not too sure who I should report first !!!!!!

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

[tango]

Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce served in the provencale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam

[tango]

King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

[Xel'Naga]

Not too sure who I should report first !!!!!!

ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you hear that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?

[thunderbyrd]

"they were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrels" :D

[Fenris]

"they were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrels" :D...and there was much rejoicing. Yaaaay....